FEATURE

1997 - Revisited

I know it is getting a little late in the year, but I guess I really want to add my two pennies worth to the great 1997 retrospective.

My thoughts run immediately to the hand over ceremonies here in Hong Kong.
The touching little scene when Governor Chris Patten added his tears to the
drizzle that blanketed the territory throughout the day. I liked the guy,
can't wait to read his book. And he'd make a damn better leader of the
Conservative Party in Britain than whats-his-name Bill Haig.

Mind you, I doubt if anyone could improve on Big John.

I hope the year ahead will see fewer doom-merchants predicting a massive
communist crack-down and a little more optimism. Hong Kong survived the
Great Asian Crash - bowed but unbeaten - and I still have my job. That is a
lot more than can be said for former colleagues in my previous home, that
beacon of Asian democracy and financial success, Thailand.

It is noteworthy. Hong Kong's election committee has just compiled a
report on their efforts at voter registration in time for this May's Legco
poll. No fewer than 720,000 households visited either slammed their door in
the face of 'election ambassadors' or refused to answer the doorbell.
Everyone has the right to refuse to vote - that's a democratic right - but
if they wanted to demonstrate their opposition to the way the election is
being run, why didn't they sign up and write dirty words on their ballot
paper? The fact is - and this is a little hard for some folks to take - a
fair number of people around here are too busy getting on with their lives
to worry about a bunch of posing political jerks.

Martin Lee's Democratic Party are contesting the election and expect to
pick up 12-13 of the 60 seats.

The year's greatest attempted con has to be the rise to power of Laurent
Kabila. Oh, how everyone was fawning on the under-dog who overthrew that
nasty old Mobutu. That was until the refugee corpses started to appear, dug
up by scavenging animals and nosey United Nations types. The con,
by the way, was how Western governments were trying to convince their
domestic electorate that they never really liked Mobutu anyway and that at
last a good man would be running things in Kinshasa.

Yawn of the year must go to the campaign funds scandal. Okay, so I know it is a big deal to you guys with nothing better to do than try to score points off each other on The Hill. But out here in Asia? We were far more interested in learning about the 'distinguishing mark' that sets POTUS apart from other men.

"I like my dog!"
Nose-tweak of 1997 without doubt belongs to Saddam Hussein. And don't his spin-doctors know how to impress the people? Every picture of Saddam shows a guy in control - he's either scowling down from billboards or adding extra zip to the sound bites by firing off automatic weapons. It is all BS and the guy is a total jerk, but in contrast we have to look at the way we allow our own leaders to appear. Okay, so it was only yesterday, but there on my television screen was a very pale and slightly paunched POTUS wading in the surf with a very uncertain Buddy. C'mon guys, this is the leader of the free world looking like a middle-aged shoe salesman on his first trip to the beach! This is footage that won't make it into the end-of-term presidential video - that's for sure.

My 1997 Foot-in-Mouth award goes to Malaysian leader Mahathir Mohammed. This guy is a pure gem. According to our pal in Kuala Lumpur , Jews and associated nogoodniks are responsible for the Asian Crash. The Asian Values of rampant corruption, nepotism, cronyism and simply piss-poor management were not, I repeat not, contributing factors.

Me? Re-value? Never!
Up there with the 'read-my-lips' style quotes of the year is former Thai Prime Minister Chavalit Yongchaiyudh: "We have no intention of devaluing the currency."

1997's survivor must be Obiwan 'Old Ben' Netanyahu. The force appears to be slipping away and how much longer he can hold on is open to wild speculation.

Hopefully, not much longer.

Another survivor is Indonesia's Suharto. I have only one thing to say: "Do the country a favour pal, don't run again."

Still another survivor is Boris 'Boozer' Yeltsin. The guy spends more time on holiday or in hospital than any leader I know.

Best moment? England winning the Tournoi De France.

Okay, so I'm biased.

Sue me.

Worst moment? 11.54 am Thailand, 31 August. Very personal, so we won't go into it - but the next worst came at 11.55 am Thailand, 31 August. CNN slug changed from "Princess Diana Injured" to "Princess Diana Dead". The third worst was that I was duty editor/announcer at one of Bangkok's FM radio stations and I had 5 minutes to re-write my lead, get in the studio and present the news. That's one day I won't be forgetting in a long, long time.

Hero / amiration awards go to the guys on Mir, the England soccer team (okay, okay), Riz Khan, Jose Ramos Horta, Bishop Belo, Martin Lee and Mobutu Sese Seko. He died, best thing he ever did.

Al Gore
Al Gore. He picked the environment and even when Kyoto proved it was a loser, he stuck with it.

Takes guts.

Thumbs down to Maddie Albright, you talk the talk, but so far you haven't walked the walk.

There's more. See you next week.