Family Values Schipper-crite

February 8, 1999 -- New York -- The Doc is going to keep this short and sweet.

First, a blast from the past:

"I want to tell you the members of the committee that I have been privileged to work with some of the finest human beings that I have ever met in my life. The staff of the committee and my personal staff that's worked with me constitute some of the finest lawyers, the best investigators, and just generally good people....

"[The president] has consistently maintained that Ms. Lewinsky performed acts on him while he never touched her in a sexual manner....

"The president told Ms. Lewinsky that seeing her name on the [Jones witness] list broke his heart. I imagine it did....

"Life was so much simpler before they found that dress, wasn't it?

"He also invites -- invents convoluted definitions of words or phrases in his own crafty mind. Of course, he will never seek to clarify a question because that may trap him into a straight answer. Can you imagine dealing with such a person in any important matter?"

Those are the words of David Schippers, the connected "Democrat" (only in party registration) lawyer hired by world-class adulterer Henry Hyde to prosecute the fraudulent "case" against William Jefferson Clinton before the House Judiciary Committee.

He pieced together the ridiculous house of cards supporting the impeachment of Clinton, making his presentation on December 10th of last year. Sitting proudly behind proudly him was his wife of some 45 years.

And sitting back to his left...

...was his mistress of some 25 years, a woman by the name of Nancy Ruggero, who must have been so proud of her studly lover's performance in the name of family values, Mom, apple pie, and the Christian Coalition.

The entire sordid tale of Schippers' love life is reported in this week's issue of National Enquirer. Hats off to the Enquirer for also revealing that Schippers and Ruggero are currently the target of a lawsuit: ex-law partner Mickey Veich has charged the two with business fraud.

Hey Mickey, feel free to pass a copy of any depositions of Schippers you may take our way. Our crack research team will analyse Schippers' answers for any convoluted definitions, crafty wordsmithing, parsing, weasel words or incomplete answers he may give in an effort to thwart the rule of law.

And by the way, Schippers, The Doc imagines that you've probably said something to both your wife and Ms. Ruggero about seeing all of your names in National Enquirer. Heck, you probably told them how much it breaks your heart.

The Doc imagines it did.

Life was so much simpler before that Enquirer article, wasn't it, you family values Schipper-crite?

'Nuff said!

-- Dave "Doctor" Gonzo