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FEATURE

Gennifer Flowers Screwing the President - For Nothing but Money and Power

Ha, ha, haha, haha, ha - notice the
nylon stocking filter over the lens!
50 Reasons to Believe
Gennifer Flowers
Is a Liar

FRIDAY MARCH 27TH 1998 --- New York (APJP) -- If you think Gennifer Flowers has more credibility than Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky and the myriad other women who claim they have "had" the President, been seduced by him, raped by him, or denied their constitutional rights by him - think again.

Bill Clinton at least appears to admit he once made love to Ms. Flowers. We don't know the circumstances surrounding that time, we don't know why. We don't really care. It's none of our business -- it's none of your business.

We are reminded of the legendary woman who, after her best friend told her that her husband had been having an affair, asked, "Why did you tell me? Why not let well enough alone? Now I have to do something about it."

The "friend" answered "Because I didn't want you made a fool of."

If you ask the same question of Gennifer Flowers, wanna-be singing star, Penthouse over-the-hill-gang member, and "authoress" you would likely get this answer:

"It was for the money, stupid!"

We just finished reading a slew of depositions sent us by a friend and taken re the Paula Jones extortion suit in which she accuses the President of ruining her "career" -- as a nothing -- and denying her bliss.

As Molly Ivans says, "When a guy pulls down his pants you say, "Oh. C',mon. Pull up your pants and stop actin' like a jackass!"

But Paula Jones, Kathleen Willey and others who are seeking to cash in, directly or indirectly, on presidential indiscretion real or wishful, didn't say that. They marched out of the hotel, Oval Office, limousine, whatever -- consulted a book agent, a lawyer and a PR firm -- and then went panning for Clinton Gold. Many with gentle prodding and money supplied by Republicans eager to embarrass the man they could not and cannot defeat at the polls or in the polls.

Flowers thinking about "all that money."
(Blue dot to help you to
keep your lunch down.)
Gennifer Flowers, among the women who seek new riches, is by far the worst of the gold diggers and one of the most successful because she claims to be a friend of the President, even to have loved him. A neat little handle if we say so ourselves.

C'mon Gennifer, pull up your pants and stop acting like a jackass!!

You're looking more like a very expensive whore who couldn't care less about Bill Clinton, his wife, daughter and all those around him whose careers you are trying to ruin -- merely to enrich your own pathetic self.

And you do it so well. You hypnotize us with your "down-home" sensibility when all the time you're covering what appears to be your true persona -- a two-bit hooker walking the streets of Washington, Dallas and Little Rock peddling your ass to Penthouse, Playboy, The Star, "Hard Copy" and a host of "talk shows" that no one ever heard of.

You say to us through your actions - "I slept with the President, and that entitles me to tell the world all the gory details -- and for as much money as I can get. Damn anyone I hurt in the process."

Did you ever think it is women like you that spawn both the sexual predator and the Paula Jones' of this world. Did it ever occur to you that not just a few fourteen-year-old girls are learning from your example of deceit and betrayal? Are you training a new generation of gold-diggers to fill the bar stools of "K" Street with some easy to score poontang? -- easy until the blackmail begins.

We bet you have thought about it. And we bet you don't care. You're in it for the money, Gennifer, and in our book that makes you seem wicked and worse than an honest $2 dollar whore.

Here's what you told the President's lawyers, and your own, at your Paula Jones deposition. You said or implied everything below UNDER OATH -- and that, in your case, is a laughing stock.

1. You said you went to New York to a kill a story in The Star about your alleged "12 year affair" with the President yet you gave up on that because you knew that you would not be able to go back to your State job and that you would not be able to go home again and feel "safe."

2. You swore you did not know you were going to be paid for this story but then took the $150,000 for it the Star offered you and did not kill the story as you had originally planned.

3. You said you made a deal with Ron Fuller, a Republican office holder, who told you he had some "friends" who would give you $50 thousand and a job in California in exchange for some inside gossip about the President. You had a press conference in New York and repeated that you were approached by the "Republican Party" to confirm your affair with President Clinton.

4. You then decided not to go public with the story -- although you say it was not because you could get more money for it AFTER he was elected president than before.

5. You say you "could possibly" still have your contract with The Star in your possession. Possibly?

6. You testified you had tapes of your private conversations with Bill Clinton sent to The Star in New York from "a friend" in Little Rock.

7. In response to lawyer's questions you told them that when you held a press conference after Bill and Hillary Clinton appeared on 60 Minutes together -- at the Star's request -- you might possibly lie to the reporters when they asked you questions.

8. You appeared on A Current Affair regarding your alleged relationship with Bill Clinton because, you say in your book "they offered me the most money." But in this deposition you said it was that and that they offered you "the circumstances" you desired. A Current Affair paid you $25,000.00.

9. Hard Copy was bidding for you too, according to your testimony, but you don't recall how much they offered and you don't know if you have a copy of the contract with A Current Affair.

10. You appeared on the Bertice Berry Show in Chicago. You don't remember how much you were paid.

11. You appeared on Leeza. You don't remember how much you were paid by Leeza either.

12. You appeared on Rolanda. You don't remember how much you were paid by Rolanda either.

13. You appeared on The Howard Stern Show to market your book and you tapes. You claim you were not paid.

14. You appeared on the De Tu A Tu show in Spain after your spread in Penthouse was published. You say you got $15,000 -- IN CASH -- for the De Tu show -- that plus expenses for you and a friend. You don't remember if you have the tape they gave you of that show.

15. You appeared on the Thomas Gotschick show in Germany. You think you got $5,000 to $7,500 for that appearance plus expenses.

16. You don't recall what other television shows you appeared on.

17. You say Playboy and Penthouse got into a bidding war to feature your story and you -- unclothed -- in those magazines.

18.You say Playboy offered you $650,000 and Penthouse offered you $750,000 and that both offered an additional 50 cents a copy for sales over their normal circulation.

19. You say that things went awry and that you finally settled on Penthouse and only received $250,000.

20. You say that you took no action against Penthouse for inaccuracies in their story about you.

21. You say you recorded ONLY four conversations between you and Bill Clinton. You say you used a "little" tape recorder and a device you bought from Radio Shack to tape these calls from your telephone.

22. You actually admitted you would turn on the recorder every time the phone rang and if it was Clinton you would let the machine go on and tape, if not -- you imply -- you would shut it off.

23. You claim you bought the tape machine and device to record business deals you made orally for your work as a "singer."

24. You say you don't remember whether you ever initiated a call to Clinton for the purpose of taping it and that you would have to look at your "tape transcripts" to check.

25. You said in your book "Passion and Betrayal" that "a group of Republicans" offered you $900,000.00 for these tapes, yet in the deposition you claim that you don't remember " the circumstances about the nine hundred thousand dollars."

Flowers dreaming about that 900 thou.
26. You say you don't remember who the representative was of this "group of Republicans."

27. You say you were "not interested" in the offer.

28. Yet you then began to market the tapes yourself.

29. You say you got a lot of interest in doing interviews with you before the Penthouse spread came out, yet you could not name one -- not even one -- in the deposition.

30. You say you put another book together, Setting the Record Straight, as part of "the packaging for the tapes" that you marketed.

31. You say one Ed Menken assisted you to market the tapes by putting together $50,000 from "investors" and yet you don't remember the investors' names -- only that one of them was called Charles.

32. You say you made no profit on the sale of the tapes and you believe the sales just covered expenses and did not cover the $50,000.00.

33. You admit you were called by The Clinton Chronicles.

34. You admit you tried to set up a pay-to-hear "900" number service so people could call and listen to the tapes you recorded of your intimate and private conversations with the President.

35. You appeared on Comedy Central dressed as Marilyn Monroe singing "Happy Birthday Mr. President" to "President Clinton." You "don't recall" how much you were paid for that.

36. You were paid by the magazine He Said, She Said for assisting them in preparing an article about you and President Clinton. You also don't recall how much money you received for that.

37. You claim you authored two books on this alleged affair with the President -- Passion and Betrayal and Sleeping with the President -- yet you said, the same afternoon, under oath that you wrote a third book, Setting the Record Straight.

38. You testified that Emery Dalton gave you $50,000 in advance for one of these books. You say it took you approximately "a couple of weeks to write it."

39. You say you don't remember if anyone else offered you any money for the book.

40. You say Sleeping With the President was never published because you had a dispute over the amount of participation -- book signings, etc. -- that you would have to agree to.

41. You claim you wrote this book with a man named "Gene" - but you don't remember his last name, and don't know where he is located.

42. You claim you were to get $1.00 to $1.50 per book sold but now you are not negotiating for it to be published.

43. You claim you did not report a mink coat stolen and then have it altered at a fur salon in Little Rock -- failing to inform your insurance company of the fact you found it -- and you don't remember the name of your insurance agent.

44. You claim you never staged a suicide attempt as reported in Penthouse.

45. You claim you do not know who the older Republican man is, that Penthouse refers to in its article about you, whom you felt might offer you a deal to "rat-out" President Clinton.

46. You never told us what you did with that white tennis shoe, if anything.

47. You told people that you were Miss Teenage America -- but you never were Miss Teenage America. You also don't remember who you told that lie.

48. You told people you were a regular on the Hee Haw show -- and you never were. Another lie.

49. You don't remember telling people you signed a movie contract with Roy Clark.

50. You said you attended the University of Arkansas but you don't know how many credit hours you earned there.

Flowers, pointing to her "profit center."
In short, Ms. Flowers, we think that even if you produced The Blessed Virgin herself to testify to your veracity -- not a soul would believe a word you said, about anything, anytime, anyhow.

One thing we do agree on -- if we were you, we'd blow our collective heads off.

- The Editors

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