Thursday, April 15, 1999 -- WASHINGTON -- It seemed strangely appropriate that Newt Gingrich would make his return to politics in the darkness on the eve of Tax Day, rising from the political dead like Christopher Lee in a Hammer Studios Dracula sequel.

His "triumphant" resurrection occurred last night at the "Salute to Newt,'' a swank fundraiser for Gingrich's new political action committee, the "Friends of Newt Gingrich PAC."

And friends he has -- in droves. Corporate America and some of the highest-dollar players in American politics showed up to fete Gingrich -- and pay him back for the sizable favors he performed on their part during his tenure as House Speaker.

The hard-right House GOP leadership was there, along with ex-GOP chairman Haley Barbour, who had schemed with Gingrich to "launder" campaign cash -- a situation which we understand is still under Justice Department scrutiny.

Newt and "Howdy" Barbour -- along with their anti-tax fundraising confederate Grover Norquist -- have never come clean about allegations that a number of campaign finance laws were either broken or flagrantly evaded using loopholes and cash diversion schemes. But can you really blame the GOPers among the powers-that-be who oversee campaign finance for looking the other way? Newt was their rainmaker extraordinaire -- and the buzz is that Newt managed to raise well over half a million dollars last night -- and that was after a portion went to the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation.

One thing is for sure: Newt's trying his best to look like he's back in a big way. He is reputed to have booked well over three million dollars worth of personal appearances this year.

But last night's festivities looked like a flash in the pan -- a pathetic "comeback" by the failed ex-Speaker which will prove unable to maintain any momentum.

Of course, Newt tried to put the best face on it, opening his big mouth last night, spewing the same "small gevernment" rhetoric he's used to hoodwink his peers and conservative Republicans for the past decade. He tried to turn the festivities into a pep rally for a tired and failed agenda rejected by the nation.

Little of these words were repeated in the media. But the few of his comments from last evening that were quoted this morning in the papers and on the wire services are worth sharing because they show that the Newt we all came to loathe has hardly changed in one respect: e's still the king of political doublespeak.

On the Independent Counsel Statute: "Kill it. Get rid of it. It has been a monstrosity. It criminalized and undermines the process of American government."

What he really meant: "Kill it. It's a monstrosity that I was foolish enough to try and play the Lewinsky card and nearly lost the GOP majority in the House. It's all Starr's fault. He promised he'd get something on Bubba. I never should have listened to him -- instead, he torpedoed the entire conservative wing of our party! It's exposed the ultra-right as criminals and undermined their control of Washington -- now those namby-pamby common-sense moderate governors are calling the shots! Bush, Whitman, Pataki... the horror, the horror!"

On campaign ads: "Let's have a great presidential nominating process with no negative ads. Let the person with the best ideas win the nomination. If we don't do that, we're going to have a bloodbath.''

What he really meant: "Boy, did I ever blow it last year! I went TOO negative, and I got the boot. I NEVER should have listened to all those idiot-grinning pollster hacks like Art Finkelstein. He had Al D'Amato go so negative even Saddam Hussein could've beaten him."

Gingrich said that his new PAC would support Republican candidates who share his vision: a cap on federal, state and local taxes at no more than 25 percent of a person's income; diversion of Social Security funds to private investment accounts; and the construction of a national missile defense, which would greatly benefit Northrop Grumman, the biggest corporate constituent in the former Speaker's district.

But there is other -- and in one case unfinished -- business on Newt's agenda. The unfinished item is the very bad blood between Newt and Steve Forbes. According to one of our sources, Newt is so angry at Forbes for what he perceives as a public and private "bad-mouthing" campaign that he may use his PAC to seek vengeance by backing other conservative candidates well before the primary season begins.

And Gingrich is also petrified that the rising power of GOP moderates -- especially governors in the Northeast -- will cut into the power base he retains. Newt is getting out early -- and often -- to remind the conservative "true believers" that he is still a force to be reckoned with, and the Republican fundraising "main man."

Yet although last night's event did raise an impressive amount of money, the cash was flowing from Newt's most loyal political pals. We don't believe Newt, even in the form of the "Friends of Newt," really has any legs left. We have good reason to believe that the more sensible and sane wing of the GOP already has the upper hand -- and that Newt will be left to support only the hardest-right, marginalized candidates, the onesdoing more harm than good for the GOP and ratcheting up the already high resentment he has generated.

Comeback? Try swan song.