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Doc's DIS-patch
More Fun with the Bush Family:
Mrs. Jeb's Customs Snafu!

by Dave "Doctor" Gonzo

Saturday, June 19, 1999 -- Time again for more fun with America's "first" family -- or so they want you to think -- the Bushes!

Wire service reports late yesterday announced the news that Columba Bush, the wife of Florida Governor Jeb Bush (whose brother George W. Bush, Jr. -- a.k.a. BushBaby, Shrub, Dubya, The Censor -- is running for the presidency), was forced to pay a hefty fine of over $4,000 by officials of the U.S. Customs Service in Atlanta for her failure on Thursday to declare some $19,000 in clothing and jewelry she had bought during a trip to Paris.

The fine came as a result of a random baggage search at the Atlanta airport. Columba claimed that she was not aware that there was a $400 maximum on non-dutiable purchases.

But The Doc, an experienced traveler, does not buy this story. One reading of the customs form Americans are required to fill out and submit immediately upon return from international travel makes this rule quite clear -- that is, if one hasn't read it in one of the hundreds of guides to international shopping or travel on the market!

In a press statement, Jeb said he and his wife deeply regret this mistake. The Doc bets they do -- especially with Big Brother running for the White House and enough Bush family skeletons to fill every closet from Austin to West Palm Beach to Kennebunkport.

Columba was quoted as saying, " I am sorry for exercising bad judgment and can assure everyone this will never happen again."

But The Doc is not so certain this is the last time we will hear about bad Bush behavior -- from the Jeb branch or otherwise. Anyone who has frequented the many and growing number of Bush scandal pages on the World Wide Web can recite a litany of bad behavior including ties to fascist governments, drug trafficking, business deals that smell like a three-day-old boatload of herring, quick-and-dirty pardons for felons, intelligence agency sneakiness, a complete lack of respect for the rule and spirit of the law, and just plain greed and arrogance that begin the day Jeb's granddaddy Prescott and his Yalie frat-boy pals looted the tomb of Geronimo.

Talk about family values! This latest snafu reveals the Bush family mindset as being not too far from those of former hotelier Leona Helmsley, who once said "Taxes are for the little people."

Unles, of course, you get caught with your Chanel accessories down, as Columba Bush did.

'Nuff said.

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ISSN No. 1523-1690