 search engine by Netcreations |
 |
 |
|
 |
|
 |
 |
It just so happens that October 8th is Mac MacArthur's birthday... so he rewrote Ruddy's open letter from last October 8th so that at least someone sane would read it!
Dear Linda, YOU SWINE,
Time is short, so please listen to me. THEY DON'T BELIEVE I'VE BEEN TO VENUS OR PLUTO! THEY ARE SENDING ME TO BELLEVUE -- SO HURRY!
As one of the last people to see Vince Foster alive before his body turned up with a bullet hole in his head in Fort Marcy Park, the hand of fate had tapped you in a unique way. IT HAS MADE YOU ONE OF THE UGLIEST WOMEN ON EARTH, SAVE PERHAPS SUSAN CARPENTER MCBIMBO WITHOUT THE THREE POUNDS OF MAKEUP -- OR PAULA JONES EVEN WITH THE NOSEJOB.
From what I have read, I sense that you may have wanted to LIE AND go public with what you knew about that scandal. But like hundreds of others who have personally witnessed the Clintons' ruthlessness, you KNEW THEY WOULD CATCH YOU IN THAT LIE! Then fate tapped your shoulder again when Monica Lewinsky became your friend... ER, VICTIM. This time you summoned the courage -- out of fear THAT YOU'D MISS A CHANCE AT A BOOK DEAL, FAME AND RICHES for yourself and for your country HOUSE THAT YOU'D PURCHASE WITH THE SPOILS OF HAVING DESTROYED TWO FAMILIES -- to expose Clinton's abuse of power AND SEXUAL REJECTION OF YOU. President Clinton's actions and his efforts to obstruct justice AS ADMINISTERED BY HENRY HYDE THE ADULTERER must have shocked your person AND YOU -- as a mother, as a woman, and as THE SINGLE MOST VENAL, HATE-OBSESSED American citizen.
After reviewing the raw FABRICATED documents relating to Starr's investigation AND PERJURY TRAP, I have concluded two things. One is that this scandal is not about sex. THE OTHER IS THAT NOBODY BELIEVES I HAVE BEEN TO VENUS!
Second, my heart has changed about you. I WANT YOU. GOD, DO I WANT YOU. SOMEONE AS OBSESSED WITH BRINGING DOWN BUBBA AS ME.... I believe you have done a tremendous service for YOURSELF AND our country HOME WHICH DICK SCAIFE WILL HELP US FINANCE. You are an American hero TO THE COUNCIL OF CONCERNED CITIZENS, THE WORLD CHURCH OF THE CREATOR, THE AMERICAN NAZI PARTY AND PLUTONIAN COLONISTS because you not only risked your WORTHLESS life, your SURELY-SHUCKED family, and your DISMALLY INSIGNIFICANT livelihood SOAKING THE TAXPAYERS FOR NEARLY $100,000 TO PUBLICIZE WASTEFUL PENTAGON PROGRAMS -- but you were aware of the risks -- SO AWARE BECAUSE YOU MADE THEM UP JUST AS I MAKE UP MOST -- OKAY, ALL -- OF MY WACKY CONSPIRACY SCENARIOS. Despite your heroINism, and the overwhelming evidence of YOUR obstruction of justice by SPYING ON Clinton and company, you are being cast as the villain BY SANE AMERICANS. The attacks on your person have been disgusting and revolting, NOT TO MENTION COMPLETELY TRUE.
Starr's WISE failure to properly prosecute this case IN WHAT WOULD AMOUNT TO AN UNLAWFUL MANNER SAVED HIM FROM THE LONG ARM OF THE LAW -- AT LEAST TEMPORARILY -- BUT has led directly to WHAT LOONIES CALL the "blame Linda" spin BUT THAT IS FACTUAL: Linda encouraged Monica's relationship with the President, AS PRACTICALLY ANYONE WHO EVER WATCHED MSNBC KNOWS FOR A FACT; Linda told Monica to keep the dress WITH THE STAIN, BUT NEVER FOUND OUT THAT THE STAIN WAS THERE WHEN MONICA BORROWED THE DRESS FROM GEORGE STEPHANOPOULOS; Linda wrote the talking points, WHICH THE ERUDITE TEAM OF JACK GILLIS AND SKIP FOX ESSENTIALLY PROVED LAST YEAR, and so on. Starr has had his moment, AND IS NOW COWERING IN HIS BUNKER ALONG WITH MOST OF HIS PROSECUTORIAL TEAM AND THE JONES MOUTHPIECES, SCARED TO DEATH THAT YOU'RE GOING TO SPILL THE BEANS. Your work, however, is not yet finished. YOU MUST NOW ERADICATE YOURSELF AND OTHERS LIKE YOU FROM THE EARTH -- INCLUDING ME, RUSH LIMBAUGH AND MY FATHER-IN-LAW -- JUDGE JUDY -- I MEAN, ED KOCH. WE MUST ESCAPE TO PLUTO!
You should act because we both know just how dangerous YOU AND THE POSSIBILITY THAT this White House WILL BE VINDICATED ARE. Through wicked means WE TRIED TO TOPPLE THEM BUT they have survived. By Clinton's own admission there are "hundreds, EVEN MILLIONS of women IN AMERICA." Yet, so few of these women have come forward BECAUSE THEY ARE MOSTLY HOUSEWIVES HAPPY WITH THEIR OWN LIVES.
Consider how many of these women have been threatened, smeared, or even injured BY PEOPLE LIKE ME: Gennifer Flowers, A MEDIA-SUCKING WHORE WHO SLEPT WITH BILL CLINTON IN ORDER TO USE HIM LATER, Dolly Kyle Browning WHO MUST HAVE LEARNED HER MOVES FROM THE TALENTLESS GENNIFER, Sally Purdue (NOT CHICKEN SOUP), Kathy Ferguson (KATHY WHO?), Paula Jones WHO IS THE INSTRUMENT OF THE DEVIL AND PAT ROBERTSON, Elizabeth Ward Gracen WHO WILL JUST HAVE TO KEEP WORKING AS AN OLD BAG STEWARDESS, Kathleen Willey, THE WIFE OF A SUICIDAL FELON WHO TOLD SO MANY LIES TO KEN STARR, SHE GOT MORE IMMUNIZATIONS THAN MY ENTIRE KINDERGARTEN CLASS COMBINED.
Recent news reports say that even Cabinet members were afraid to resign, because any break from the ranks would be severely punished by the Clintons -- AND THESE NEWS REPORTS ARE PRIMARILY COMPOSED OF MAGIC MARKER SCRATCHINGS ON THE MEN'S ROOM STALL AT MATT DRUDGE'S OLD SLUM WALKUP APARTMENT.
The record shows Monica WAS THREATENED BY KEN STARR AND THE FBI AND feared for her life. Monica's mom, Marcia, was afraid OF STARR, too. The first words out of Marcia's mouth when she spoke by phone with the FBI agents at the Ritz-Carlton were very telling -- "WHERE'S THE NEAREST J. CREW OUTLET STORE?" She asked if the FBI could ensure Monica's safety if she cooperated against the President, WHICH WAS QUITE TRICKY WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT -- EVEN INVENTIVE!
You probably know that in the Clintons' minds you crossed the line with Lewinsky WHEN YOU ASKED HER TO INVITE YOU INTO A THREE-WAY WITH BILL AND WAS REBUFFED. No doubt the White House also feels you double-crossed them BY OFFERING SUCH A DISGUSTING PROPSECT. After all, they transferred you to the Pentagon and more than doubled your salary SO YOU CAN AFFORD PORK RINDS BY THE CASE.
Using mob rules (and with the Clintons' ENEMIES, mob rules apply), the ENEMIES OF BILL must make you pay a heavy price IF YOU RAT ON THEM. The White House can be creative and patient in getting their payment, AS CAN ALL SANE PEOPLE AND ORGANIZATIONS -- AND THEIR FIRST INSTALLMENT WAS VINDICATION BY THE SENATE, WHO LAUGHED A TRUMPED-UP IMPEACHMENT COUP AND THIRTEEN HOUSE MORONS OUT OF THEIR HALLOWED AND DELIBERATIVE CHAMBERS.
Again, the Clintons' payback is not simply done for revenge -- OR FOR REVENGE AT ALL, ALTHOUGH THEY'D BE FULLY JUSTIFIED IN THE EYES OF MOST RATIONAL FOLKS. It's the foundation of their power -- AND FULLY SUPPORTED BY THE VAST MAJORITY OF AMERICANS WHO HAVE HAD IT WITH KEN STARR'S ABUSES, THE HOUSE JUDICIARY'S HYPOCRISY, AND YOUR SELF-RIGHTEOUS DECLARATION THAT "I'M YOU" WHEN YOU'RE NOTHING LIKE MOST HARD-WORKING AMERICANS. It sends a message -- AND THE MESSAGE IS THAT MY CARRER AS "BOY JOURNALIST" IS OVER. There is so much other corruption they are hiding CONCERNING THE CONDUCT OF THEIR ENEMIES -- IMAGINE WHAT BOB BENNETT AND DAVID KENDALL MUST HAVE IN THEIR FILES.
If it appears you have succeeded in any way, it could open the floodgates AND VENUTIANS COULD CAPTURE THE PLANET UNLESS YOU, LINDA TRIPP, INTERCEDE ON MY BEHALF WITH GORGON THE INVINCIBLE EMPEROR OF VENUS. If those gates were to open, they would not only be forced from office, but possibly put in prison ON MARS -- THE BLUE PLANET.
You may be told that you are just too publicLY UGLY for anything to happen. Then think about Vince Foster, Ron Brown, Jim McDougal and the others I USE TO MAKE UP MY CRACKPOT THEORIES AND CAUSE THEIR FAMILIES DISTRESS. If the system did not work to protect a deputy White House Counsel or a Commerce Secretary FROM CANCER AND CRUMMY PILOTS, how will it protect a AN OVERPAID, UGLIER-THAN-SIN. RUMORMONGERING staffer at the Pentagon?
Starr won't be there for you. If Starr had any integrity, he would have immediately and zealously prosecuted HENRY HYDE -- the illegal BASHING OF HIS MISTRESS' HUSBAND, AND ASSURED THE release of information from your confidential Pentagon files to the New Yorker magazine -- .INCLUDING THE FACT THAT YOU WERE ARRESTED AS A TEENAGER AND DID NOT INDICATE THIS ON YOUR JOB APPLICATION WHEN YOU WERE REQUIRED TO.
I was also shocked BEYOND EVEN MY PSYCHIATRIST'S BELIEF to read just how unsympathetic the EARTH'S grand jury was to you. During Lewinsky's testimony, one juror said that you are "definitely going to have to give an account for what [you] did." If the grand jury won't take the facts seriously, I doubt Congress will, either, SINCE THEY HAVE NEVER DEALT IN FACTS, ONLY IN FANTASY. They dropped MY ball with Whitewater, Travelgate, FBI Filegate, campaign fundraising, and Chinagate -- DESPITE MY BEST ATTEMPTS AT CREATIVE WRITING. I doubt the impeachment hearings will be any different. HATE TO REMIND YOU, CHRIS-BOB, BUT THE IMPEACHMENT HEARINGS ALREADY HAPPENED.
If you look carefully, Republican activities are largely gamesmanship to energize their BIGOT vote for Election Day. The Clintons know once the election passes, the worst is over. The White House has already implemented a scorched-earth policy. Just ask Congressman Dan Burton, WHO HAS ACCOMPANIED ME SEVERAL TIMES TO MARS, VENUS AND PLUTO WHERE WE PROVED -- UNDER PLUTONIAN LAW -- THAT VINCE FOSTER WAS ACTUALLY A HONEYDEW MELON AND NOT ONLY THAT BUT THAT SEAN HANNITY IS NOT GAY.
When the evidence was released, you should have been fully vindicated AND THEN INDICTED FOR MISPRISON OF A FELONY. That didn't happen. SO YOU LUCKED OUT. The Republicans redacted much of the damaging information about Clinton BECAUSE EVEN THEY REALIZED YOU WERE CRAZIER THAN A LOON. They even released the latest three-volume set of papers on a Friday afternoon -- PROOF THAT THEY WERE WORKING FOR THE ARMIES OF NEPTUNE. This is common procedure for burying a story -- I'VE HEARD JOHN GIBSON OF OJ FAME SAY SO. I think the fix is in, and you are going to turn out the big FAT, GREASY, PIMPLY, POCK-MARKED, STILL-A-VIRGIN loser - unless you act, and soon.
Telling your side of the story involving Lewinsky is not enough -- YOU MUST MUSTER THE COURAGE OF GORGON. Your coming forward LIKE THE BIGGEST ZEPPELIN EVER CONCEIVED BY THE LEGENDARY GRAF to expose this scandal stirred up a (W)hornets' nest. You may have thought the (W)hornets' nest would have been eliminated when the FAKE facts (ALL FANTASIES) were made public. Instead, the (W)hornets are alive and well and have been stinging you AND ME. They will persist BECAUSE HORNETS FROM NEPTUNE ARE REALLY, REALLY BIG. OUCH!
You need to go further. Since you already have put yourself out on the limb AS A LAUGHING STOCK ONLY ECLIPSED BY ME, you don't have much to lose (EXCEPT FOR 230 POUNDS), but our country has much to gain. You can nuke that (W)hornets' nest with the truth about Vince Foster (AT LEAST THE TRUTH THAT WILL LET THE PEOPLE OF EARTH KNOW AND WORSHIP GORGON).
The grand jurors themselves expressed skepticism about your fears when you cited Foster's death -- IN FACT, THEY WERE ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING. After all, in the minds of many Americans (EARTHLINGS), it was nothing more than a simple "suicide." -- NOT A BAD IDEA LINDA... You need to explain to the whole country AND PLANET the basis of your fears. And tell the real story about Foster's last days AND HOW HE WAS RUNNING AROUND THE WHITE HOUSE WARNING PEOPLE THAT GORGON WAS GOING TO INVADE ANY MOMENT.
Many - including your lawyers - will probably not want you to do this. Lawyers never like to rock the boat or PLANET. But you have real power because at this moment you command the world's EARTH'S attention. You can hold a press conference on your front lawn IF YOU HAD A FRONT LAWN, and media from around the world will show up - IF ONLY TO LAUGH AT YOU. This may not always be true NOR IS IT TRUE NOW. If you are indicted in Maryland, you will lose much credibility -- OOPS, GEE, I GUESS THAT KILLS THIS IDEA! The Clinton White House knows that you know more than Lewinsky -- BUT THEN AGAIN, ANYONE KNOWS MORE ABOUT ANYTHING THAN LEWINSKY. They cannot count that you will always keep your mouth shut. They may even suspect you taped others AND THEY MAY KNOW YOU HAVE THE POWER OF ASTRAL TRAVEL AND MIND WARP CONTROL GRANTED YOU BY OUR LEADER GORGON.
Face the fact you are a menace to the Clintons AND EVERYONE. Don't let them control the play of the events. Move decisively. A good offense is the best defense - SO DON'T BOTHER TO USE A DEODERANT. Take it from me, I'm living proof some people can take on the Clintons and survive AS A WORTHLESS JOKE OF A CUB REPORTER WHO LIVES OFF HIS FATHER-IN-LAW.
My advice is that you hold a press conference without much advance notice and consultation. Just tell the whole truth. THAT WILL GUARANTEE YOU WILL SERVE THE FULL TEN YEARS FOR YOUR FELONIES AND PAY THE FULL FINE WHICH MAY STIR THE VENUTIANS TO ATTACK AND FREE US FROM THE EARTHLINGS.
Do this for yourself, for the country AND UNIVERSE, and for your kids. If the Clintons get away with this, if they make It past this congressional election, I fear they will be vicious to their enemies -- NAMELY, ME. Their stranglehold on the federal government will tighten, and there is no telling what they are capable of. You know this. Do you really want your children to grow up in a country where the Clintons' way of life is the norm? WHERE FAMILIES CAN FOSTER FORGIVENESS FOR WEAKNESS? WHERE THE FIRST FAMILY CAN SET A DECENT EXAMPLE THAT OTHER FAMILIES IN CRISIS MIGHT EMULATE? Do you want your kids to carry the stigma the White House has cast upon you and your good name? NO! BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT GORGON WILLL DO TO PUNISH YOU FOR YOUR FAILURE, DON'T YOU LINDA? DO THE WORDS "ATOMIC DISINTEGRATION" MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?
You turned to... ER, MAKE THAT ON the authorities and it did not work. Turn to the American people, speak to them. You ARE one of us -- A PROUD VENUTIAN WITH MORE FAT THAT ANY EARTH WOMAN. There are millions (A FEW DOZEN) of us KOOKS who want you to win, and deeply admire what you have done. Many millions more will be swayed when the truth is told about Vince Foster. MY TRUTH -- THAT HILLARY AND BILL HAD HIM MURDERED WHEN THEY FOUND OUT HE WAS FROM VENUS.
May God bless you, your family, THE EARTH, America AND VENUS.
Sincerely DISTURBED BUT NONETHELESS yours,
Christopher Ruddy -- BOY JOURNALIST WHOSE CAREER IS IN MORE OF A SHAMBLES THAN CHRIS HITCHENS' FACE.
Click here for more Mac MacArthur!