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by Dave "Doctor" Gonzo

Monday, August 9, 1999 --- New York (APJP) -- Here are a few more stories that slipped under the media radar...

Dateline: DES MOINES -- As George W. BushBaby continued to disgust most Americans (the ones with a conscience) by raising wheelbarrows of cash-ola to finance his coronation… er, presidential campaign, the real fun within the GOP race was going on among those candidates in a dead heat -- for last place.

Late last week, the Des Moines Register reported that pseudo-Christian wacko moralist and ex-Reagan aide Gary Bauer (R-VA) is trying to woo Alan Keyes' Iowa backers.

Bauer, in a restrained and modest comment that typifies how truly out of touch he is with reality, told the newspaper that he is running to win the nomination -- while Keyes is running merely to make a point.

And Keyes, a former ambassador (to what? Luxembourg? Tuvalu?), had a diplomatic response for Bauer's comment: "I think it might be wisest for [Bauer] to shut up."

But wait -- it gets better.

Bauer responded to Keyes's sound political advice by saying that he has "the greatest respect for Alan," but simply believes that he is "the pro-life conservative with the best chance to win."

Well, then -- when you stop and think, Bauer and Keyes both have about as much of a chance to win as that of taking a ski vacation in hell.  So Bauer does have the best chance to win -- absolute zero -- even if he is in a dead heat with Keyes.

But Bauer was not through speaking.  In appearances this weekend, Bauer continued to "hammer" GOP frontrunner George W. BushBaby, claiming that "Dubya" and Vice President Al Gore (D) "are indistinguishable on major issues of the day."

And that may be true -- that is, if you consider the fact that George and Al agree that nobody outside of a few thousand Evangelical loonies take Bauer seriously as a "major issue."

Dateline -- LONGMONT, COLORADO -- And speaking of family values, it seems this year's winner of the Parent of the Year Award decided to return the prize amidst questions concerning his alleged links to a cult accused of child abuse and prostitution.

Zach Prendergast, who was awarded the honor for the oversized home he had constructed for his wife and their 12 children, turns out to have been a leader of the Children of God cult.

The group, which was formed in California some three decades ago, has found itself in legal trouble in various spots around the world -- including evidence of female members being forced to work as "happy hookers for Jesus."  It has also been linked to a child pornography ring in South America.

Prendergast was identified by former members of the cult as the leader of an indoctrination camp for kids in Italy during the 1980s -- which led the National Parents Day Foundation to look into Prendergast's ties to the Children of God and his subsequent return of the award.

Dateline: CINCINNATI -- An independent company that publishes a version of the Yellow Pages has made a major mistake in their latest edition, giving the incorrect URL for the White House -- one which leads to an "adult" site specializing in porn.

The publisher, One Book Yellow Pages, began delivering 800,000 copies of various local editions of their phone book in some ten counties in Ohio, Kentucky and Indiana -- and announced that the books won't be recalled!

General manager Scott Caddell did say the company is sorry it made the mistake, and that the addresses for the FBI and NASA also are wrong (they return a "server not found" error).  Caddell added that officials are so used to Internet addresses ending in ".com" that the addresses "looked correct."

"We're a company that's been in business for 90 years. We're family oriented. It's against everything we try to do. It was a mistake," Caddell said Sunday.

Uh-huh…

…but somehow we can't help but thinking that some Clinton-hater who did know better decided to pull off yet another cheap shot to make the First Couple look bad.

Which is kind of ironic, since all of the hardbodied cuties and buff dudes at whitehouse.com actually look pretty darned good.  Take it from The Doc -- who took a long, thorough, hard look at the site in the process of researching this story!

Dateline -- WASHINGTON, D.C. -- And you thought the George W. Bush campaign was the only politically moronic organization out there when it comes to the Internet…

Bush has taken a lot of heat -- every bit of it justified -- for unleashing his personal Rottweiler attorney, Ben Ginsburg, on various individuals who have put up Bush web sites -- including supporters of "party boy" George!

Well, he now has a companion in the Bad Netiquette dog house.

According to Women Leaders Online/Women Organizing for Change, it seems a large number of women are getting "spammed" -- by Liddy Dole!

According to WOC Online,

WOC/WLO recently received spams to three different addresses posted on our web pages. The Dole campaign used one of those dreadful programs that sucks up e-mail addresses like a vacuum cleaner. Not only is this a gross violation of Netiquette, it is also illegal in Washington State.

The spam, with the subject line "I need your support for Elizabeth Dole", came from Terry Neese, Chair of Entrepreneurs for Dole.

If you received spam from the Dole campaign, please forward a copy to wlo@wlo.org.

If you object to such tactics, e-mail <terryneese@edole2000.org> and tell her that you will never vote for a candidate who spams -- or more importantly, one who opposes reproductive rights for women. Even if that candidate is a woman.

'Nuff said.

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