    |
Pundit Shake-Up
First Lady, Waco remain the topics--as This Weak throws up the white flag
by The Editors
Sunday, September 12, 1999 -- NEW YORK -- There were big Sunday Pundit changes in New York City--where ABC moved This Weak, which is really weak, from 10:30 AM, opposite eat the Prez, to 9:00, opposite Fox Spin Sunday.
A programming source at ABC told up bluntly that "we can't compete with Russert!" This concession comes as no surprise--Tim manages to get the A-list guests, while producers for Sam and Cokie flounder and end up with grade-Z losers. Lately, they've even expanded their stultifyingly silly round table to a near half hour and sent George Stephanopoulos and William Kristol "on the road" to cover the premature and meaningless campaign appearances and straw polls.
Now that they're up against Fox News Sunday, we predict that ABC's ratings are going to drop even further in New York.
First, we know that political types generally like to sleep off the previous night's revels and are not likely to want to awaken at 9 AM only to have George Will induce a worse headache than they already have. They'd rather laugh. Second, we quote Paul Storch: "Tony Snow and Fox News Sunday will cream them as well." And Paul's right--the Fox networks may be to the right of even ABC-Disney, but when it comes to pace and atmosphere, Tony Snow is the most dynamic and energizing host on pundit Sunday, making even boring guests sound and seem interesting, and the show's hilarious "bumpers" deflate pols on both sides of the aisle!
And so, we wish the snide, sniveling Sam and Cokie and their gang of idiots their lowest ratings ever.
Fox Spin Sunday
Evidence of a coverup at Waco... Politicians back on Capitol Hill... and--WHAT?--a preview of the NFL season?
 Tony Snows the viewers -- with football (yawn). |
"Continued fallout from the Waco inferno" includes "up to a hundred FBI agents kept quiet" about the use of gas canisters.
Tony asked guest one, former Sen. John Danforth, if there were a possibility that a report--catch this--might be issued during next year's election campaign season! Talk about wishful thinking! Danforth said he has already started working, assembling his team.
Tony mentioned Trent Lott calling for Reno's resignation--which had little to do with the question: "Do you expect to be hit by mudballs?" Danforth instead answered by detailing what his team will investigate. "We will be absolutely objective... objective reports... what the truth is."
Tony asked about the possibility of "subpoenas" (those hard-righters LOVE to spin subpoenas), but Danforth said he expected "full cooperation." This set up Tony to say that Congress expected full cooperation, but a key page detailing the use of gas canisters was missing.
So was the proper term--"pyrophoric"--from Tony's question.
Tony then asked a question that made critics of the GOP happy--would ex-FBI boss Bill Sessions be called? And Tony seemed to give this question a bit of emphasis--maybe he's hinting that he's on to the fact that this one's gonna run the risk of blowing up in the Bush Administration's face, even with Danforth in charge. Danforth had no comment, calling the question premature.
Tony tried to make a big stink about Danforth's subpoenas coming from the DOJ--when he's investigating the DOJ! Danforth again reiterated the cooperative attitude he sees and expects--and then excoriated Tony somewhat directly in a comment about the media's "running commentary" on Waco.
Did Danforth learn anything from watching Starr's investigation, asked Tony. Yes, said Danforth, this cannot be an open-ended investigation--it must have a focus. In other words, Danforth plans not to be tarred with the "expand-o-rama" brush that rightfully wiped Starr.
Guest two-the shame of Indiana, Rep. Dan Burton. Tony fed Dan some ridiculous Fox Opinion Dynamic poll numbers so that Dan could claim that the FBI was covering up the use of "pyrotechnic" gas canisters. Tony asked Dan about his having targeted two members of the torts department of the FBI, and Dan practically blamed them for hiding the key report page from his committee--then accused Janet Reno of being in on it by saying "I don't know how she could not know about it."
Well, we sure can, Dan--because if Reno found out about it, she would have taken names, kicked ass, and put the blame where it belongs--with Bush-era FBI management and personnel, depriving you of a fake scandal.
We practically expected Dan to say that he was going to set up a mockup of the Branch Davidian compound in his back yard, with watermelons "representing" Janet reno and Bill Clinton, so that he and his gun nut pals could "prove conclusively" that Reno set the fire herself with the help of Delta Force.
In response to a question from Brit Hume, Dan, with that crazed look in his eyes that he gets whenever someone feeds him a question that will allow him to boast about what a great investigator he is, said he "would be taking a broader look... than Danforth."
The problem is that Burton's become the congressional Inspector Clouseau, bumbling every outrageous claim he makes.
Check out this claim:
Burton: "I have talked to Democrats with very strong feelings about Waco."
Brit: "On your committee?"
Burton: "No." We can only guess he was talking about two psychotic gun-nut "Democrats" who hold inconsequential positions and think they're being shadowed by black helicopters.
Tony mentioned that Burton had received film from Michael McNulty that "definitively" showed military personnel firing at the Branch Davidian compound.
"Definitively?" C'mon, Tony, one of your guests denied that the evidence was genuine last week! And McNulty--whom a colleague in the media refers to as "McNutCase"--has a tarnished reputation even among conservatives! Is Fox or another News Corp. subsidiary doing a deal of some sort with McNulty?
Brit pressed Dan on whether there was any definitive evidence that something fired by the FBI started the compound fire--and at this point, Burton sounded very uncomfortable, giving a slick and weasely answer about "pyrotechnic" devices.
We have to point out that since the fizzle of the impeachment coup attempt, Brit Hume has started to ask some very tough questions to Burton and his ilk--questions such as that about "definitive evidence." We noticed that this was a question Burton did not want to hear, let alone answer, because he knows that thinking people will tear new holes in the already flimsy evidence--including conspiracy nut McNulty's film.
Following the break, the guests were Sens. Harry Reid and Pete Domenici.
Question one to Reid--should US forces join UN peacekeepers in East Timor? Reid's final words: "Very, very perhaps."
Domenici showed his real colors when he dissed a comment by the President that essentially said that it is in the American interest to stop ethnic or religious slaughter by saying he was doubtful about whether the US should help. Clearly in Domenici Land it isn't in America's interest--unless white folks are getting hurt.
Mort Kondracke asked Domenici if there would be a government shutdown. Domenici said no--and tried to make a claim that the President was going over budget.
Funny how Domenici doesn't mention Tom DeLay's own admission that he wanted to send the President a pork-laden budget that Clinton would never pass in an effort to shut down the government!
Kondracke pressed Domenici on gun control, Medicare prescription drug benefits, and other issues before Congress--and Domenici sounded like a hypocrite when he claimed this would be Clinton's do-nothing legacy, pressing the GOP tax-cut scam. And Reid replied that cutting the debt was more important.
Domenici sounded weak when he replied that "a majority want a tax cut."
Well, no kidding--but a majority do not see it as a priority!!
Domenici lied as he said that "the President offered nothing"--and Reid said that the President offered $250 million! Domenici then tried the latest spin--that it is "welfare!"
You've gotta love it--calling tax relief for families "welfare." If you ever want to know where the GOP stands on "family values," remember that.
And Reid said "if you want to help people," don't forget "families taking care of invalid parents."
Domenici finished by claiming that the President had cooked up a "voodoo budget." We were just about rolling on the floor with laughter--the best Domenici can finish off with is essentially name-calling! Such erudition, Pete.
Following yet more spots, Tony's "unbelievable" segment--on a wrong number you will find on the back of a tourist brochure financed by Congress. It's supposed to be for the Red Roof Inn--but instead reaches a "dial-a-porn" service. We were laughing out loud--and ready to book rooms at the Red Roof next time we go to DC!
Topic one for the roundtable: Hillary's changing position on the FALN clemency. Hillary said that there would not be a lack of communication again. Kondracke called her comment "dreadful" and Juan Williams claimed it would hurt her long term with Puerto Ricans. Tony tried to drag felonious spy Jonathan Pollard into the argument--and Brit (surprise) all but said that the Clintons should do the right thing and not support clemency for Pollard.
Juan dissed Hillary, calling her "arrogant" and claiming she was telling others how to play the game. Fact is, Juan, she plays the game far better than most members of the Senate.
Tony then turned to reports that Pat Buchanan may be meeting with Ross Perot and Jesse Ventura concerning a Reform Party presidential run. And there was much prognostication--with most of the panel agreeing that if Pat did it, he's "over" in the GOP.
We've got news--he's already over in the GOP.
Talk turned to East Timor--and Brit discussed the U.S. sending limited support to an Australian-led initiative. Kondracke called the Administration's "handling of this issue... horrible.... we should have done it a long time ago."
Horrible? Clinton has decried the slaughter, you idiot. As for doing it a long time ago, Mort, you know how the hard-righters in Congress would feel about the U.S. intervening against one of their fascist pals, be his name Suharto or Habibie.
Tony then turned to meaningless "Honest and trustworthy" questions from the Fox O-Spin-ion Dynamics Poll--in an attempt to "prove" Republicans more trustworthy. Brit mumbled something that hinted he knows that these silly-ass polls are a charade.
Tony then cut to Paula Zahn plugging her Bush Daddy interview--and played a segment in which Bush Sr. expressed disgust that anyone would accuse the Reagan Administration of sleaze, and then basically called Clinton a scumbucket in so many words.
What a shill--and what a hypocrite. October surprise. Iran-Contra. Manipulating judicial activists into our court system. Making needy people needier. Condoning a "shadow government" and Neo-Nazi Colonel North's machinations. Compare any one of those to getting a few hummers from an intern --and George Daddy Bush still comes out sleazier.
There was a second clip in which Bush said that he wouldn't tolerate Barbara having a public disagreement with him. Now, if that doesn't show you where Bush Daddy stands on career women, nothing does!
FNS spent the last ten minutes talking--football?
Oh, brother. This is one time where Rupert must have overruled Roger Ailes.
We hate football. We tuned out.
.
The McLaugh-In Group
Trade War Madness!
 John McLaugh-In -- he wants to declare a trade war on sane viewers. |
Meetings of WTO and APEC were McLaugh-In's first topic--notably the "trade war" within Washington. John claimed that the war was a "result" was a result of Campaign 2000.
C'mon, John--look at the protectionist views of MANY pols on both sides of the aisle. This war has been going on for decades.
The wife of one Pundit Pap writer is a noted psychologist--and said that McLaugh-In's claim is a symptom of "borderline looniness."
We think it's more than borderline.
John asked who the players are, and Fred Bergsten said the players were anti-globalists (some industries and some democrats) versus the President, VP, and a whole lot of Capitol Hill people. Bergsten claimed this could "open a wound" in the Democratic Party. The President's personal proclivity, he said, is toward more free trade--but he is being somewhat protectionist now to 'protect' Al Gore.
Does Fred see China membership in WTO in the cards within 6 months, asked John? Bergsten said he hopes so--but doubts it. He does not think that Clinton will "have the political courage."
Larry Kudlow said that Bergsten left out two big groups: high-tech industries allied with Internet users, and the public in general. And Kudlow was right for the first time we can recall in his McLaugh-In tenure when he lit into polls on trade that seem to be weighted toward helping the steel industry.
Eleanor Clift: "I appreciate being a panelist on 'It's Your Business!' " We were laughing out loud! You go, girl!! She said that the panel was spouting about a nonexistent internecine trade war--and the big anti-free traders before the public are Pat BuKKKanan and Gary Antichrist Bauer.
Tony Blankley, wearing a too-loud pink shirt and red-patterned tie, said something nebulous but somewhat anti-China concerning WTO. Blankley showed his pro-New-Cold-War leanings.
Bergsten said that China's Zhou Rongzhi "blew it."
John then asked about trade with Vietnam--and Larry said he thought free trade would happen, and be psychologically favorable in large disproportion to the actual amount of trade--and it's a good thing for 'Nam and the US.
Will China be in the WTO by January 1?
Larry--Yes
Eleanor--Yes
Tony--Probably no on a close Congressional vote
Fred--It will not come to a vote, because it's an election year
John--Yes
John's teaser before the mandatory GE spot: "Is Bill Clinton a lame duck or a fighting cock?"
Nice choice of words, John...
"Issue two: Limp, if not lame, duck!" Does John have penis envy?
John declared Clinton a lame duck--diminished because he is soon to leave office.
Boy, is he wrong!
He cited "domestic defeat" of a ground war in Kosovo.
But there was only TALK of ground troops--a cover for PROVING that the technology has sufficiently advanced to win a small-scale war with air power alone!
He then cited "Capitol momentum"--with Congress passing tax initiatives he opposed.
They won't pass this time around, though.
He added "foreign adventurism"--saying some believe "Kosovo adventurism" is an example.
Of course, John is ignoring the fact that Slobodan's adventurism triggered an international reaction--and defeat of Serbia!
Then he mentioned Hillary's run for Congress as "eclipsing" Bill.
But is that Bill's "fault?" No--this is a result of press coverage, not Clinton policy!
So all four of John's insane points are completely untrue--John cooked his own "lame goose!"
Eleanor said that the real issue was the GOP's weakness on pushing tax cuts--plus, the GOP is "spooked" by Clinton psyching them out. She's right.
Tony claimed that Clinton has never been anything but a good political counterpuncher--but he's still good at it. He's half-right--Clinton throws a good punch when he's starting an initiative.
Fred said the he is lame on domestic, but strong on foreign policy--and can use negative power to stop GOP initiatives with the veto pen. What about Medicare pharma coverage, asked John?
Larry said that Clinton is in debt to the liberal wing of the Dems--and it won't work. He's winning them, but losing the country. Eleanor chimed in with the fact that America supports Clinton on education and Social Security.
John tried to tie "lame-duckedness" to Clinton lining up business to support China's membership in WTO. he also talked about gun "bans" and overthrowing Milosevic. "How many of these arrows in his quiver" will stop lame-duckedness?
Larry and Tony didn't think many would hit, but Fred said that they would land on target in international affairs! Larry argued, incorrectly, that "any President that uses the veto is a weak President."
Is he a lame duck now?
Larry--yes, even as he vetoed welfare
Eleanor--a great communicator
Tony--he's a silly goose, not a lame duck
Fred--yes at home, no abroad
John--a limping duck now, a lame duck within four months.
Predictions:
Larry--lower cap gains tax!
Eleanor--Clinton gets fast track next year!
Tony--Congressional-White House Jitters!
Fred--Repubs win White House, Dems win House!
John--Compromise Patient's Bill of Rights in October!
Our pundit pap team--John will be committed before Al Gore is sworn in!
.
This Weak
Sam and Cokie DOWNGRADED--to 9 AM!
"We can't compete with Russert!" -- programming source at ABC television
"Tony Snow and Fox News Sunday will cream them as well." -- Paul Storch, A.C. Nielsen
 Cocky Roberts, insipid Georgetown "insider." |
Well, get this: Sam and Cokie said he was sending his own troops in! They got it wrong, as usual.
Waco was the next topic. Former Senator Danforth, the psycho-Christian Republican has-been who prayed in his private Senate toilet with and for Daddy Bush's token and incompetent Right Wing Oxymoronic Supreme Court Justice Clarence "Long-Dong-Silver-Pubic-Hair-in-My-Coke" Thomas and against Professor Anita Hill, was interviewed about his respectable investigation.
Cokie, despite Danforth having told her that he would not comment until he did his investigation, asked him how he will avoid running commentary, or in "Cokiespeak," "running at the mouth" (an art of which Cokie is a master).
Danforth answered that he would do a thorough investigation first, and wouldn't share anything with Cokie or Sam. Good answer.
But Cokie went on. She asked if it is likely that he will impanel a grand jury. He said he would, if he had to.
Idiot boy George "Captain Migraine" Will mumbled something unintelligible. Danforth said he will seek to bring to justice anyone who violated the law. Will commented that people may believe that appointing people like Danforth may underline Americans' cynicism about Congress--"shouldn't they be able to do their job?"
We agree with George on this one. But he failed to mention that Danforth is a right wing Christian fundamentalist zealot who supported sex offender Thomas for the position of Associate Justice of the Supreme Court.
A truly silly Xerox commercial was next, followed by a spot for Chase Manhattan Bank.
Senator Bob "The Torch" Torricelli (D-NJ) was next--and suggested that the President should take a look at Reno to see if she is competent for her position as Attorney General. The Torch opined that her misjudgments about Waco, all the independent counsels, and failing to order needed wiretaps are "big mistakes."
We agree with the independent counsel problems--but we think she was misled by Agent Jamar and others at the FBI, not the entire bureau or Louis Freeh.
Senator Patrick Leahy (D- VT) disagreed--along the lines of our thinking.
We were very disappointed in Torricelli's attack on Reno, which we think is personal in nature. There has not been as honest an attorney general since the 19th century.
Torricelli said it was contemptuous of the FBI not to inform Reno about the tape showing that the FBI had used "incendiary" devices. The Torch does not think that Reno knew about the lies from law enforcement. He must have ESP--and must have been reading our minds and our scolding! "But somebody has to answer to ensure people that this will not continue to happen." He argued that "the buck stops here" with Reno.
Leahy said that The Torch sees the glass as half empty--and added "'Who lied to Reno for six years' is the question."
George Will claimed that the FBI sent a 49-page report to Reno and she delivered a 48-page report to Congress which might be a question of criminal law. Torricelli refused to comment because it is a matter of law.
Leahy said he wants to stop all arms sales and all funding to Indonesia.
Sandy Berger was the next guest--joining Cokie at 1:20 AM New Zealand time. He said the President was pleased with Habibie's announcement and wants to see the UN force deployed to make certain the Timorese get what they voted for.
Will said that Habibie called the Timor situation a catastrophe, yet the Indonesian army is the main instigator there. Will wants to know if Habibie controls the military--our answer, of course is no!
Will then quoted the President saying that wherever there are massacres, and we can intervene--we will.
Our question: where the heck has Sandy Berger and everyone else been since Noam Chomsky began warning us of the continuing massacres of the Timorese by the Indonesian government and US complicity in it more than a decade ago?
The answer--no one gave a damn. Money was more important to us and the rest of the Western world.
Berger gave some details: Australia will lead the UN forces. But American soldiers will be on the ground--although Australian and Asian forces will dominate the scene. We will do airlift, communications, and logistical support.
Sure. And maybe some strategic bombing--hopefully on Jakarta.
Cokie brought up tensions between China and Taiwan. The People's Republic of China said that 1.2 billion Chinese are "worried" about Taiwan. We howled with laughter at that one! Cokie is a moron: the People's Republic of China has been saying the same thing for 30 years. America believes in the one-China policy--and has for 50 years. That one China is the People's Republic of China--not Taiwan. We would be gravely concerned if Taiwan tried to set up and independent "China" of its own. Berger refused to speculate.
Not only that, but a World Trade Organization deal is in the works for the People's Republic of China.
Too bad, George.
Will then attacked the First Lady for saying that Jerusalem should be the capital of Israel for all time. The President has said that this question has been left to the parties there, and the government of the US will not intervene. Berger pointed out that Hillary is running for office, and should and must state her positions.
Too bad again, George.
Ads for Invesco mutual funds, HUD, Texaco.
Take note that GE and ADM do NOT support This Weak. That should tell you something!
Next up was This Weak's roundtable. The first moron to speak up was their weakest panelist--the Judas Goat-- George Staphylococcus, to say something no one is interested in: "Thank God" about East Timor.
Sam tried to say something intelligent, but failed as usual. He said we should not send ground troops--but said we are right to intervene there.
Huh?
The surly Will croaked that Pat PuKKKeanan may be "pushed" to the Reform Party over this issue--he is, of course, enraged that the Timorese are being helped (no doubt because they are "people of color"--and the Indonesian government shares PuKKKeanan's nazi leanings). Will stated that it's because our military is overextended.
Ha, ha, ha, ha--really, George? Where, exactly?
Staphylococcus said that is the WTO deal with China is closed--Big Labor will "turn on" Gore. But George is, of course, wrong. They have nowhere else to go. Everyone running--including Republicans--is for China in the World Trade Organization. Everyone that could possibly win that is.
Staphylococcus said that Bradley's entire campaign is "I'm the better person."
We'll give Staph credit: truer words were never spoken. Of course, Bradley is lying. Gore is the better person. He is everything Bradley is--but he is loyal as well, a trait rarely found in Washington.
Cokie talked about some stupid Washington Post/ABC poll (they are the same company) which doesn't look good for Gore.
Of course, the Post and ABC are well-known Clinton bashers, so their polls mean nothing. You ought to see how the questions are worded.
Staphylococcus attacked Bradley. Well, at least he is still true to Gore--unless it would PAY him to do the opposite! Cokie claimed that Bradley has raised a "ton of money."
Huh? Take a look at our FEC links. Cokie is wrong. But that shouldn't surprise anyone.
Will said, "Watch the super-delegates."
He is right--in a way. They are a good barometer to look at for a changing tide because all they care about is being re-elected--and if they think Gore is a loser, they will bolt.
Staphylococcus said if Bradley beats Gore in New Hampshire he can oust Gore right there.
What utter crap. If Bradley beat Gore in New Hampshire is would merely prove that New Hampshire is AGAIN wrong and full of half-wits (with the exception of Steve Gorin).
Sam said that he, Donaldson, is part of "mainstream" thinking!!
You should have heard the laughter and catcalls in the Ampol media room! One of our staffers shouted, "Right, Sam--at Saint Elizabeth's Mental Hospital--or the Hair Club for Pundits!"
There were fewer ads on This Weak this morning. Are the advertisers losing total faith in This Weak? We certainly hope so.
George Will quoted the fascistic National Review, saying "Stop all Clinton Federal Judicial Appointments." Sam said that's terrible policy. He is right--by accident, we assume. Staphylococcus said we might have another Government shutdown. Cokie said it is a loser. So is she, but at least she was right. Cokie, who, like her mother, helped deliver the Democratic party to the devil, should get off this show immediately. She is toast if she sticks with Donaldson--on her own, she'll get pity for being an ugly woman. And I'm not talking about her looks-- exclusively.
Will said something telling: if Congress left for ten years, there would be no debt. Well said, George. Of course, that would mean that every poor person, every sick person, every child who would need federal help would not get any. And that's the conservative way! What he should have said: "Republicans should all leave town--then maybe Jack Kennedy's dreams for America could be pursued."
An ad for First Union Bank came next. We bet that Sam banks with Chase and Cokie with First Union. there were also ads for Dell Computers and Pfizer, drug lobbyists extraordinaire.
Sam reminded us to watch Good Morning America's coverage of the Jon Benet murder case! And we laughed--there could be no more perfect ending for This WEAK!
.
Eat the Press
With your host "Field Marshall Oberfuhrer" Russert
Tim Attacks Clinton and Hillary more than 15 times this week!!
Russert opened his show bashing Clinton by featuring recently released Puerto Rican "terrorist" Richard Jiminez as a guest.
First, he read all the charges for which this man spent 19 years in jail. He asked Richard Jimenez whether he is sorry for what he did. Jimenez said that he would have been home many many years ago if he had not been Puerto Rican.
Russert, of course, was trying to make him look like a punk in order to embarrass the White House.
Jimenez talked about America colonizing Puerto Rico.
Russet asked if Jimenez regrets being a member of the FALN. Jimenez said he never was a member of the FALN--and that he is proud of Puerto Rican freedom fighters just as Russert is proud of George Washington (a slave holder).
Russert then asked if he is proud of the bombings done by the FALN. Jimenez said he is sorry, but also sorry for the bombings taking place in Puerto Rico--implying that the federal government planned these bombings.
Russert then brought up the issue of a New York cop who was killed in one of the bombings, leaving two fatherless sons. Jimenez said, "We has no interest in harming anyone"--we have love for humanity and want the US to begin decolonizing Puerto Rico.
Jimenez was beginning to sound like a jerk--just as Russert wanted.
Russert then asked, "If you set off 130 bombs, isn't is likely that someone could be killed or maimed?"
Jimenez said, "No."
That's right--he said no. Jesus Christo--is this guy nuts? You can bet your bottom dollar he is. The President must have been cringing.
But Jimenez is right on the other issue--we should decolonize Puerto Rico--and instead make it a state! Jimenez would hate this.
Jimenez refused to thank the President, but said he is grateful to be out breathing fresh air.
Russert then tries to make a fool of Hillary because she came out against the FALN terrorists. But Jimenez refused to attack her as Russert wants--instead, he said that Hillary had been "assessed wrong" concerning the underlying facts and issues.
Jimenez said he will not--absolutely not--engage in any terrorist activities from now on. He wants the UN to step in. You've gotta laugh at that. Hey Ricardo--ever heard of the Security Council and the single vote veto? That would be the US, wouldn't it?
Ex-Senator Danforth, who left the Senate because he knew he would be defeated, was on Eat the Press as well. Same stuff as on This Weak. Same shtick as Fox News Sunday.
Russert asked who Danforth will use to investigate the FBI. Danforth said "lawyers."
Sure. We can just see this. Anyone, anyone would be petrified to investigate the FBI, believe us.
Danforth said he will prosecute anyone and everyone he finds may be guilty of crime in the Waco situation. "Does that include Louis Freeh and Janet Reno?" asked Russert.
"Mr. Defender of Long Dong!" May the "Farce" be with you -- you fraud.
The next guest--Bat Pukeanan, who both the Republican and Reform parties hope will have a stroke so as not to embarrass either!
Pukeanan said Reno should resign. He said there should not be any American ground troops in East Timor. It's a "regional" problem.
In other words--screw 'em, they're not White. That this genocide, now decades old, is a threat to humanity is general is meaningless to this idiot.
Russert shows a clip of Pukeanan saying--"This Republican Party is My Republican Party." The Puke said he cannot endorse George W. Bush and the GOP is a carbon copy of the Democratic Party--and that this is one party nation masquerading as a two party nation. He thinks we need an opposition party.
This is an announcement--as far as we are concerned--that Pukeanan will join the Reform Party! Hahahaha--great! At least he will destroy them, and that buffoon Jesse Ventura, a clown running amok.
Not only that, but Pukeanan will destroy George Bush's chances to get elected in 2000. He would have to pick up another 15% more than he'll need to defeat Gore which is--in a word--IMPOSSIBLE. Let Pukeanan take the 13% loony tune vote in the US. He'll destroy the GOP and the Reform Party!
Go, Pat, Go!!!
David Broder--the most boring but incisive pundit on television--hit the Puke over his stand on abortion. Pat said he will run as a pro choice candidate and he will be the most trustworthy candidate running.
We were howling with laughter! A man who marries a Pomeranian cannot be trusted. Ever.
Pukeanan tells the Reformers (a bunch of misfits and homeless people) that HE will dictate their platform.
Well, why not? That will only hasten the mutual destruction of Bush, the GOP and Ventura.
Pukeanan said that he would attack China if they interfered with Taiwan!! You have to laugh--he would go to war IN Taiwan. What a jerk!
Broder asked Pukeanan about his hate for Jews. Pukeanan decided to attack all religious and national lobbies. And Broder didn't let him get away with it. Broder quoted Buchanan on Jews--and nailed him! Buchanan had no choice but to say "That's a fact."
If Pat Buchanan becomes President of the United States, he said "I will make the foreign policy--not the Jews, etc.--but me!"
This was horrifying--but hilarious. It is over AGAIN for Buchanan.
He then singled out AIPAC--the American pro Israel lobby.
Russert cut the battle off--way too soon. He, of course, is probably an anti-Semite as well.
GE's self-serving, back-to-back ads about how much they give back to society topped the list of vomit commercials on Eat the Press. Yes, GE employees are helping out--while GE tries to topple governments--including our own! Tale that, Jack.
Russert opened an interview with neurotic Senator and President wannabe John McCain by attacking Clinton again on the Puerto Rican terrorist release -- then asked McCain, "How did five and a half years in a prison cell in North Vietnam define you as a candidate for the Presidency?"
Once again, Tim had us laughing! It did not "define" McCain, of course--it only made him famous enough to run for the Senate although highly unqualified. What Russert should have asked McCain is whether he "ducks and covers" when he sees Asian-Americans.
McCain then said he supports the reversal of Roe v. Wade. What a lunatic--he was always pro-choice. He wants to "save" both sides--but he can't, can he!
McCain is a nut case. He is admittedly inartful--and continues to be. He wants to "bring Americans around to HIS point of view"--we can only imagine his point of view staring out of a tiger cage for five years.
Broder asked McCain basically why he's a Republican when the GOP stands for nothing but the addiction to huge amounts of soft money, which dictates the platform of the GOP. Broder said "you claim to be more principled than loyal. Then why don't you reject you party since they disagree with almost everything you stand for?" McCain's answer was bad.
Russert then talked about McCain's suicidal feelings in his prison cell. McCain said that he felt suicidal because he didn't live up to his father's or grandfather's expectations, or those of his fellow prisoners.
Oh, God. That's just what we need in the Oval Office. We feel badly for John McCain. But let him stay in the Senate--where he can make a real difference and change the GOP before it self-immolates through hatemongering alone.
Commercials. GE--again! ADM--again! Why is ADM pushing its Vitamin E garbage? Who knows? It must be a money maker. Why is GE selling long term care insurance--are they straying from their fundamental business? Who in the world would buy insurance from Jack anyway? He'd cut out his own mother's eyes for a dollar. A commercial for Xerox was next--featuring a daughter putting down her father. Whatever happened to family values? Lucent Technologies (a.k.a. AT&T) was next. You can see the big lobbyists support Russert and the GOP--why, what a coincidence.
James Carville was next, with his vicious little "cute" wife --Pro Bush, pro Ollie Mary "Metallic."
Carville defended Clinton on the Puerto Rican issue, pointing out that more than 100 religious leaders including Bishop Tutu, President Carter, and many world leaders supported this decision--and have for more than 15 years. Russert then bashed Hillary again. Matalin, of course, charged Clinton with "threatening" national security by releasing those sorry Puerto Rican-American jerks: "You're either for a terrorist or against terrorists." Of course, she is attacking two Nobel Peace Prize recipients and most of the world's religious leaders for being "pro terrorist."
Got news for you, Metallic: Bishop Tutu was never for terrorism--and preached non-violence in South Africa. Thought we'd set you straight--loser!
Matalin called Hillary "situational".
And Russert teamed up with Matalin--really showing his colors AGAIN as a totally partisan butthole who should be drummed out of the National Press Club and have his press credentials pulled permanently. He is nothing more that Neo-Nazi spin artist. There he was arguing with Carville on his ultra-right platform and hiding behind the wimped-out Democrats in Congress (all 93 of them) who were afraid to have the FALN non-issue ruin their chances for re-election.
Russert--we call for your resignation. Why not retire up to the Cape so you can live next to Walter Cronkite? Maybe you could pick up some honesty from him. If not, we're sure you can find a nice place on Nantucket--just down the beach from your soulmate Richard Mellon Scaife.
Carville "hopes" that the Democrats support Al Gore but shoots at the campaign strategists. Carville, in essence, said publicly what we have said about the Veep: his campaign team is totally ineffective. Carville endorsed Gore. Matalin said that she is following George W. Bush Jr. Carville pointed out that Bush has proposed a combination of budget busters--totaling $1.3 trillion dollars. "We're going put the calculator on him!" yells Carville.
Right on, James!!
Barely Mentioned
We were surprised that so little was said about East Timor. The out-and-out slaughter of innocent civilians and clergy--and, at far-too-long last, the possibility of UN intervention, only garnered merit as "breaking news." This important human rights story has been swept under the rug for far too long--and, we hope, will garner more press attention in the future.
And, as Congress returned to session, there was talk of the doomed GOP tax "cuts," but hardly any mention of Medicare prescription coverage or the Patient's Bill of Rights, both of which will heat up in the coming month.
.
.
Copyright © 1999, 1998, 1997, 1996, American Politics Journal Publications.
