Pundit Pap

Pundit Pap
for Sunday, October 10, 1999

Trump Ban Treaty!
Talking heads attack ban on nukes and billionaire blowhard, tread lightly over chaos in the House; Ventura piledrives George Will; Russert hammers Tom "The Hammer" DeLay

by The Editors

Sunday, October 10, 1999--NEW YORK--The Ampol media room was filled to capacity--and, unlike last week, no debacles on the part of the utility company interrupted our "enjoyment" of the Sunday opinion "cosa nostra."

And a rabble-rousing weekend it was--Jesse Ventura put the "piledriver" on This Weak's three stooges (Sam, Cokie, and George Will), everyone made fun of Donald Trump's announcement that he is forming an "exploratory" committee in a possible bid for the Trump White House, Casino & Resort, and there was a disproportionate amount of talk about Clinton's latest so-called "impending failure" on the Nuclear Test Ban Treaty--but hardly a word on Clintons' and the Democrats' rout of the House Republicans over passage of Patient's Bill of Rights legislation.

It was as if this key victory by a "lame duck" President and the legislative minority party had never happened. The Sunday talk shows would rather highlight Clinton's "policy failures" and the GOP White House "road to victory"... er, campaign for the nomination. Lord forbid that anyone among the pundit show viewership be allowed to entertain the notion that the Democrats are kicking butt--and at nearly a third of House Republicans are rebelling against Tom DeLay, Bob Barr, the House Managers and the rest of the Neofascist wing of the GOP.

Here's what happened.

Fox News Sunday
Fox Gang Fans Nuclear Paranoia, Slams Non-Proliferation, and Grills John McCain

Tony's Snow's first guest--Energy Secretary Bill Richardson. The first question--will the President consider bending on the Test Ban Treaty? Richardson said no, essentially claiming the Republicans were playing politics. Tony attempted to cast the President as playing politics with the treaty: "The President says the Treaty sets a good example... why doesn't the President set a good example and lay down [political] arms against the Democrats?" Both Tony and Brit Hume pressed Richardson on the politics of the treaty--which elicited a long answer from Richardson on what the treaty does and areas that still need to be propped up.

Tony asked Richardson if the CIA is wrong when they say they cannot monitor some low-yield tests; Richardson said that the high-yield tests are, in fact, the ones that should concern us. Bad answer--this is not completely true.

Talk turned to security breaches at national defense labs--and the President's decision to put what Brit kept pushing as an "autonomous" watchdog unit under Richardson's purview. Richardson made it clear that he's in charge because the wording of the bill that established the agency was vague and confusing. Tony and Brit turned to Sen. John Kyl, chairman of the senate who said that the Senate planned to hold hearings (oh, joy) and make sure that the law is followed through.

But here are the facts: it is starting to look like the law was worded vaguely enough that the President and Energy Secretary would do what they did--setting up a showdown with Congress, more hearings, more charges of abuse and corruption. We were disappointed that Richardson didn't light into Congress on the lousy "watchdog" legislation they wrote.

Talk turned to the test-ban treaty--Kyl said it was important for Congress to defeat the treaty to give diplomats power to negotiate better treaties, and expressed concern about verification, a lack of enforcement mechanism, and the "in perpetuity" wording. Kyl also mentioned that a third of our nuclear weapons stockpile do not work correctly--implying they are unsafe. Tony followed up by asking Kyl if he was saying they were unsafe, and Kyl said he would not answer the question for security reasons. Kyl did a better job of arguing his side than Richardson did, which is a shame, because the treaty--warts and all--is a big step in the right direction.

Following spots for Sprint PCS, "Today's Managed Health Care," Nissan, iVillage.com and Fox Sports (Sports?), Tony welcomed Sen. John McCain, saying he "separated" himself from Bush and the rest of the GOP wannabe pack. Tony asked about ShrubYa's comment that Republicans don't pay attention to people. McCain replied by saying that Bush was taking too many shots at Congress. Tony asked about Bush's objection to campaign finance reform (yawn), but Juan got things going by asking McCain about his comments slamming Pat Buchanan's recent comments on World War II. McCain chose not to go after Pat, instead talking about the upcoming New Hampshire primary.

And Brit pressed him on money, organization and campaign planning--can he be taken seriously as a candidate? McCain said his campaign was coming "from the bottom up, not the top down... our campaign is coming from veterans, from people who feel left out." This shot at Bush led Karen Tumulty back to Bush's comment about the GOP needing to reorient itself--while he raises tones of money. McCain said that Bush said he opposes soft money--and it's time for Bush to tell that to Congressional GOPers. Juan pointed out that Nancy Reagan recently appeared at a McCain rally--and McCain said he did not expect Nancy to endorse anyone.

Talk turned to the Nuclear Test Ban Treaty--and McCain said he strongly opposes it because it is unverifiable--but he would seriously consider it if the technology to monitor it comes into being. he also said that it cuts into the power of the presidency.

Tony, who was grinning like the Cheshire Cat, asked McCain to comment on two words: "President Trump." After the "gimme a break" look that flashed across McCain's face dissipated, he called it "a sign of our times."

Hallelujah! The Fox gang is already dissing the opportunistic billionaire "mouth that roared"--who, interestingly, has a new book coming out.

Spots for Revlon, Fox Shows, and local spots for Florida (Tourist Bureau), Kira St. John's Wort, Cadillac, "Family Health Plus," and Maurice Villency preceded the third segment--George Weigel, author of a new biography of Pope John Paul II.

Now, the Pope has been very active on the global political scene, but this segment was a near-complete waste--more appropriate for the Today show than FNS. You'd expect Fox to take on the chaos in Congress--especially the searing defeat the Neonazi wing of the GOP took this week as a Patient's Bill of Rights passed the House.

Spots: "Music of the Heart" (a new flick), Subway/A1 Sauce, ATT (1-800-CALL-ATT), and local spots for Horizon Blue Cross (New Jersey).

The roundtable was preceded by footage from a "paparazzi-video" Fox reporter equipped with a consumer-quality video camera who attended last night's Iowa "showdown" between Al Gore and Bill Bradley. Al Gore walked up and ribbed the reporters: "What is this... the Blair Witch Project?... Blair witch was a one-shot deal!"

We loved it--although Al should've called it "The Ailes Witch Trial" in honor of ultra-conservative Fox News boss Roger Ailes.

David Yepsen, Fox News reporter, said that Gore "seized the day" last night, especially by issuing a challenge to Bill Bradley to debate agriculture in Iowa. Yepsen also observed that Bradley "was getting a free ride" for the most part so far. "The Vice President hit it out of the park here in Iowa."

Juan said that Gore should have started stepping out earlier--and asked if taking the fight to Bradley was the new theme.

Well, DUUUH, Juan.

Yepsen said that Gore was better than Bradley in bringing "the message" to the people.

Brit Hume said that the footage showed a different side of Gore that only reporters see--and that suits him well. An interesting if slightly backhanded bit of praise, we say. Juan pointed out that Gore's a great debater--and that his "new" look plays well "in an age of Clinton fatigue."

NOTE: The official Ampol "Clinton Fatigue" stopwatch timed the first and only appearance of this canard at 50:10 into FNS.

Tony turned to the "issue" of Jesse Ventura meeting with Donald Trump--is the anti-Perot faction of the Reform Party rising up? Brit and Karen debated who would draw the better-looking babes, Warren Beatty or Donald Trump. Brit said the issue was whether Trump could cut into Pat Buchanan--and chuckled as he said he'd love to see Trump in the race. They then debated who Trump's first lady should be--and Tony had us rolling on the floor as he rejected Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra for his choice: Dennis Rodman!

Now that's a power couple we'd love to see! Bravo, Tony! And some of you wonder why we like FNS so much despite the right-wing slant.

Tony abruptly shifted to Bush's criticism of the GOP on "people" issues. There was much nattering--but Brit said that this could be a risky move; Dubya saying "balancing the budget on the backs of the poor" is cribbing from the Tip O'Neill playbook!

And, finally, Tony had to bash the President by playing his ill-considered comment on Irish negotiators, comparing them to drunks. We say it was pretty dumb, too. Brit acted like he was not surprised; Juan called it "embarrassing." Of course, none of them mentioned Clinton is Irish--which puts a completely different spin on the tale.

Spots for Embassy Suites, Sprint, Revlon, and yet more Fox Shows preceded Tony's final word--on the EPA's decision to declare a river endangered.

The Pope notwithstanding, Tony and the gang delivered a solid show--but we were wondering what happened to the usual gang of sponsors--where were GE, ADM, Microsoft, IBM, First Union, and the rest?

The McLaugh-In Group
Conason brings sanity to Mad John's shout-a-thon

Issue One: GOP On Defense! Will they lose the House, asked John? They may: because, said John, they lost the "tax cut offensive" and the Dems have started an offensive of their own with a Patient's Bill of Rights, leaving "Republicans harrumphing."

John said that the HMO win was their "biggest win... or was it?" Larry Kudlow said no, they've had victory on a few issues, but the GOP "were put on this Earth" to cut taxes--and have not, and are on the defensive. John cited some ridiculous poll numbers on tax cuts, and Eleanor Clift punctured his balloon by saying there was no hue and cry for tax cuts. On HMO rights, the GOP "will have that rope tied around their neck." Tony Blankley said the Patient's Bill of Rights was a big win for the Dems, and new panelist Joe Conason said it was a big win "because it's the biggest win they've had since the demise of Newt... and if Trent Lott tries to eviscerate this bill, it becomes a problem for the Senate as well as the House... [the GOP] is disintegrating. Tony said something about "parliamentarian" rule--huh?--but then said that moderate GOPers are in the catbird seat?

Talk turned to the Presidential "coattail" effect--and how it might impact who controls the House. Larry said that the outcome of the White House race would determine the House outcome.

Will the GOP Lose the House?

Larry--No because Bush will win.

Eleanor--Dems take the House even if they lost the White House.

Tony--Assuming Bush wins, it's a toss-up--they've had a bad year.

Joe--They will, and they could even if Bush wins.

John--If Bush wins, the GOP keeps the House.

Issue Two: "Triangulation spelled with a W!" John recounted Bush's "hard-hitting and sustained criticism" of the Congressional GOP--"balancing the budget on the backs of the poor" and confusing small government with a disdain for government!

Is he speaking from the heart? Joe Conason says the his sources believe he is--like JFK, he could believe this is smart and right. John asked Joe about where the country stands in relation to W, and Joe said "on his left, the nation...on the right, the House Republicans." Heh-heh--we loved it! Tony said that W's move was "calculated to reposition the Republican Party" as more acceptable to the public.

John replied in his most derisive bellow: "'Balancing the budget on the backs of the poor'--is that not a cheap shot?"

Well, John, maybe it is--to your owner, Jack Welch.

John ranted against Bush's "criticism" of the GOP--and then cut to the "master of triangulation," Bill Clinton, saying that conservatives in the House were "being too hard on Bush"--because Bush is as conservative as them? John asked, "Will it backfire?" Tony said that Clinton was doing what he did best--lying! John asked Joe Conason if Bush were not doing Bush a favor by labeling Bush a conservative. Joe said that Clinton was cleverly having it both ways: "You think the conservatives are going to take Clinton's words?" In other words, Clinton is sowing dissent and infighting.

And Joe is right on this--some hard-righters in the House were stupid to be so critical of Bush.

Joe also agreed with Eleanor's assertion that Bush had practically written the copy for a Dick Gephardt ad!

Issue three: Brooklyn Museum continued. Ex-Jesuit John lied by saying that "The Holy Virgin Mary [is] splattered by elephant dung." In the painting, she is not! John was right, though about many Christians "venerating the Mother of Christ." We believe that John does, too--to the exclusion of Jesus himself! John then quoted--of all people--Camille Paglia, whose recent rant in Salon claimed that there is a double standard, with Jewish and African-American symbols denigrated and no outcry about that! Larry decried "avant-garde" painters not making "beautiful" painting. And Joe Conason exposed McLaughlin's gambit by pointing out that McLaugh-In omitted the section of Paglia's column where she lashed out at Rudy Giuliani for trying to censor art!

Predictions: will the HMO Bill pass the Senate largely in the form it left the House? A unanimous "no" from the panel!

Note to John: give us more Conason! He brings a bit more balance to the panel--a tough, smart liberal who has brought your ranting, insane program a step closer to the real world!

This Weak

Jesse Ventura Decks "Will 'O the Wimp"
Ventura Smokes Cokie, Donaldson--Showing Them as Arrogant Fools

Sam Donaldson and Cokie Roberts started with a VERY important topic: what that moron Jesse Venture thinks about everything.

Sam, Cokie and George Will actually went out to Minnesota and interviewed "Governor" Ventura in a special segment (obviously an attempt to draw ratings for the sagging This Weak). Talk about the blind leading the blind! The other topic would be "The Donald." We say, "Why not?" At least Donald is smart, knows his way around the foxes, and does not have Alzheimer's. Jesse said he isn't sure he'll back The Donald.

Then Donaldson brought up Oprah as Vice President--as if Trump were being serious. Oprah, who has such a swelled head, has actually turned him down.

George Staphylococcus was on next to talk about the Gore/Bradley debate. Bradley said that the two candidates should push each other to be the best each can be (ho hum). Then Gore said, let's instead have a debate about Iowa farming! The crowd cheered. Gore hit Bradley on walking away from the Democratic Party when they had needed him most. Gore won the debate, hands down.

Cokie, obviously wanting to attack Gore, found a way, saying she is "worried" that if Gore bashes Bradley it will hurt the Democrats. Cokie, of course, is a closet Republican--doing the bidding of her Republican "boss" Jack Welch (top banana at GE, the prime sponsor of This Weak), so whatever she says, we don't believe her.

John Sweeney, President of the AFL-CIO, pissed off Sam and Cokie because he is going to give Gore the AFL-CIO endorsement. Gore and Cokie were disappointed. Donaldson tried to tell Sweeney that at least 40% of his people "want to wait." Sweeney quietly chuckled--alluding that Donaldson doesn't know what he's talking about. Of course. Labor is back--and thank God!

Donaldson tried to slam Gore, using labor again. He said Gore is for NAFTA and China WTO membership and Sweeney is not. Sweeney just looked at him through sleepy eyes (he is in Los Angeles) and brisked by Donaldson's stupid question, sticking with Gore. Sweeney also said that the Teamsters will go with Big Labor in the end. Donaldson, of course, tried to correct him. In the end, however, Gore will get the nomination--does Sam think that the Teamsters will endorse Bush? What a jerk. Sweeney knows this. Whatever the Teamsters do--or don't do --in the primary, Gore is still their man in the end.

Donaldson returned to the "issue" of Ventura. God, who cares? First of all, who cares what lake-bogged Minnesotans think about anything? And Jesse's hardcore supporters are libertarian nutballs who have interbred for so long that they aren't sure where their slippers are--ever.

Following a break came the "big draw" segment. Cokie, Sam and an obviously disdainful George Will actually went to Minnesota to meet with Ventura in the Governor's office. It was a riot--and it shows what desperate sycophants for an audience they are. Ventura wouldn't say he likes Ross Perot. So what? Ross Perot is now marginalized within his own party--and the only way he can get power back is to throw another $25 million into its treasury! Ventura then tried to explain what the Reform Party is about. Nothing, of course, is the answer. Will asked if Ventura could support Pat Pukeanan. The answer, of course, if no--but Ventura plays politician and said he would have to talk to Pukeanan more.

Will, in an attempt to cast Ventura as "weak on crime," asked him why he disagrees with three strikes and you're out. Ventura said, why not "one strike and you're out"--which to him means, you do a crime and you get sentenced, for that crime only. Sam asked him about religion--and his negative comments on it in Playboy. Ventura tried to wiggle out. Cokie then asked, stupidly, if his wife would appreciate his story about her weakness in doubting, sometimes, her religious convictions. Sam then lowered the bar asking why Ventura does not respect someone who kills themselves. Ventura said one exception would be severe mental illness. What a moron. I think we'd all agree that anyone who does the Hari Kari is pretty mentally ill. Ventura also agrees with suicide from extreme illness. Ventura put him down--as we laughed--and said, Look Sam, when you ask me a question, give me the choices--don't attack me because I don't choose all the choices you have in your [demented little] mind so you can attack me for missing one.

The gang turned to God. Cokie quoted polls that claim the majority of people say he is embarrassing instead of refreshing, and a recall petition that has been brought by a fraudulent little psycho who sues Ventura all the time. Cokie, of course, didn't know this--because she never does her own homework. Jesse told Cokie she's an idiot!

Hey, maybe he isn't a moron!

In fact, he was just getting started. He said--look, people can't take the truth. He yelled at the stupid Cokie, and reminded her that his comment on Tailhook was that (1) he did not condone it, and (2) he did understand it--because we create Frankensteins: professional soldiers trained to kill and be animals. Cokie then said--can't there be a difference of views. Of course, he said--but they are my views and I have a right to express them. He reminded her that he used to support the death penalty--and now does not.

Will the Wimp then said, "Well, that's because you don't want the responsibility." So what, Ventura said! Will then accused him of being "undignified" because he wants to come back in his next life as a Double D Bra. Ventura then literally laughed in his face. We were beside ourselves with laughter, too! It was great. Come on, George (you moron). George then moved on to Kennedy and the assassination. Ventura thinks that Oswald could not have done this alone. Will mentioned forensic claims that he could have: " Don't sit and tell me that I have to accept the Warren Commission." Will kept it up. Will then said that because Perot claimed that the CIA disrupted his daughter's wedding (which they did, by the way) Will O' the Wimp said this causes "problems" because the Reform Party looks nutty.

Well, we must point out that the Reform party is largely made up of marginalized nuts. No one will argue with that.

But the amazing point here is that THREE of the most "intelligent journalists" had just been made out to look like totally arrogant, moronic slobs by a professional wrestler!!!

Jesse, we're with you 100%!!!

Cokie then moved on to foreign policy and the congressional showdown with the White House on the Nuclear Test Ban Treaty, which Segregationist... er, Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott thinks is dangerous. So now the White House wants a postponement. Sen. Jesse Helms (R, Cro-Magnon) said that he must formally request the withdrawal of the treaty in writing and that it won't be condensed during the rest of the Clinton term.

Madeleine Albright was the next guest--and said this is about the most important treaty in history. Albright said she wants the treaty to be debated intensively. There have been no debates, no hearings. Cokie said the Democrats haven't done their homework--as if she would know. Cokie's too busy shopping at Bergdorf Goodman to concentrate on anything. Then Cokie said--To the Secretary of State--why are so many people against it?

We'll tell you why, Cokie, you cretin: BECAUSE THEY ARE REPUBLICANS. THEY LOVE WAR. THEY LOVE BUILDING NUCLEAR ARSENALS. OR DON'T YOU GET IT, COCKY?

Poor Madeleine. She had to answer these idiots. Donaldson then brought up the defense lab security issue--and the reliability of our nuclear stockpile. Albright corrected him, saying they are only worried about their funding. Will said that Senator Lugar--whom he calls LOU-GAHR--supports nuclear non-proliferation but attacks this treaty. Albright took down Will in a second. Will said the US can't detect EVERY small nuclear test. Albright agrees--but those tests would not threaten us. Will then went into more "difficulties" with the treaties. Will, a moron of the first degree, might think about looking at ALL treaties, any of them--they are only as good as the signatories wish. God--kick this imbecile OFF THE AIR!!!!

Will then got snide--or continued to be snide, we should say--and said we are not after Costa Rica, but North Korea. Will said, why would nuclear rogue states listen to a group of nations--even a majority? Will does not understand international pressure, because he lives in a daze of migraine headaches. The US does not test anyway (you idiot) so what do we have to lose? alludes Maddie.

Cokie then brought up the fact that Jamie Rubin said the Iranians were involved in the bombing of the U.S. citizens. Albright then said that some government officials in Iran may have been involved, but that the bombing has not been proved to be officially sanctioned by the government of Iran.

The "gang of fools" roundtable followed: Staphylococcus said that Bradley looked "stunned" at the end of the debate--and angry. Gore killed him. Sam said that "Gore was somewhat improved." Cokie said, "Watching C-span on Saturday night Sam--pathetic" (that sums up Cokie's preparedness for this or any show--she is nothing more than a bimbo GOP shill with a prep-school vocabulary). William Kristol, the only man on This Weak with a mind (a bad mind), said something about shouting and impact. Will said "The truth for Al Gore is to get to March 14th." Now that had us laughing! He also said that Bradley is STRONG on both coasts. Hahahahaha... that is simply not true. Gore leads Bradley nationally --EVERYWHERE. He is just weaker than one would assume.

God--what liars!

Staphylococcus said that the barbs are starting to get to Bradley. So what, we say? He is a quitter and a wimp. He could never beat George W.

Cokie then moved to Bush, showing a clip of Bush attacking the GOP young ultra-right Congress. And in doing that, he picked up at least 10% with us.

Will is obviously upset with this, and looked visibly so--since he is a little closet Nazi--and he said Bush has done it, and now he should put it away. But we will tell you--he won't. He reads the polls, Will. America is sick of the "Class" of Gingrich, Hyde and Starr!!!

Kristol talked about campaign commercials Forbes will run against Bush starting this month. Kristol said he thinks that Forbes feels that Bush is not a real conservative.

Staphylococcus gives points to Bush for being up in Harlem this week trying to add to his base and not shore up his base as the Democrats are. Nice, George. But Bush was lucky to have gotten out unbruised by eggs, tomatoes, or worse.

Kristol points out, rightfully, that Bush better not be on the wrong side of the health care issue. So far they are. But now, of course, the GOP will pass a health care bill and a raise in minimum wage--as the President wants. But this time the people will realize what the GOP House are doing--and vote them out of office.

Sam said just one more stupid thing--and Cokie, of all people, blasted him for it. He said, "Isn't it funny that a 'lame duck' president can stop the GOP?" Cokie retorted, "He may be a lame duck--but he is still the President!"

Hahahahaha--talk about schizoid!

Eat The Press

Bill Bennett offers his heartfelt apologies--for everyone but himself
Butt-whipped Tom DeLay, slipping from power, talks "compassionate Neofascism"

Tim Russert launched his always-boring program telling us what to expect and disrespect during the next hour: "The White House tries to save the nuclear test ban treaty. George W. admonishes the House Republicans. Have the Republicans lost control of the House? Bill Bennett returns..."--and was a jerk as usual. "Jesse Ventura... will it be Pat Pukeanan or The Donald?" (Neither, you fool.)

The entire show was another Clinton-bashing orgy. How long can this go on before America turns these pundits off and chases them from the screen?

For months, Democrats clamored for a vote on the Nuclear Test Ban Treaty--but now the GOP wants to vote it down. Secretary of Defense Bill Cohen said this is not (we could hear him thinking "this is not, Master Russert..") a test of manhood, but a test of statehood. (Either way, Russert would fail.) "We are now about to send a message to the world that we don't care about the threat of nuclear proliferation. We need a lengthy debate--not a vote down along party lines. If the treaty is rejected, it sends a message that we are about to go back to testing ourselves." General Ralston agreed--and he is the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs!

So what are these GOPers up to? They are up to threatening your children with "nuclear destruction" so they can get votes.

Russert claimed that most ex-Secretaries of State are against this treaty. THIS IS A TOTAL, OUT-AND-OUT LIE. Cohen reminded him of that. Russert sidestepped, but did not escape.

Russert brought up Cohen's comments from when he was a Senator--many years ago. Russert is a dog--he is just trying to make a fool of Cohen. Cohen essentially said that Tim had used a quote brought out of context--what he had said was that we needed to test portions of weapons that might not be operating safely. Russert had the nerve to quote a claim by Senator Inhofe--a raging Neonazi--that Cohen is now correcting his own remarks. Hahahahaha--Russert, will you stop at nothing?

Russert said "most of us Americans don't trust the Chinese, the Iranians.... Why not let the Chinese sign first?" We'd remind Tim that Most Americans are idiots as well--they get their opinions from jerks like Russert. Even worse (if that is possible) General Ralston said as much. He is a military guy, through and though.

What is going on here? What is going on is the military-industrial complex--led by GE and Jack Welch who make many of the systems used in these bombs and missiles. They want more weapons and more testing--even if it means the death of your children. My god--are we moving back to the 1950s ?

Russert then WELCOMED racist, gay-bashing, anti-choice, Hitlerian, sniveling House Majority Whip Tom DeLay to the show--as if he deserves even a modicum of respect. Tim played a clip of Bush saying DeLay and his cronies are trying to balance the budget on the backs of the poor. DeLay was trying to kill the earned income tax credit--a help to millions of Americans who make so little that we take some of our taxes and give it to them to help them.

Anything wrong with that?

DeLay said yes. What a piece of crap he is. Russert seems to be agreeing with him. DeLay's plan is now dead--even though he said it isn't. He now claims that he might give the working poor a "monthly stipend" instead.

Well, what is the difference? What a weasel DeLay is.

Russert played more Bush GOP bashing--such good bashing that we might support Bush for the GOP nomination. Get 'em George!

DeLay said that Russert did not show this "excellent" speech on education in its entirety. We laughed--talk about changing the topic. Russert did not recover. He claimed Bush was just talking about mean-spiritedness, and we can "improve" said DeLay. Ray LaHood--a DeLay crony--is angry with Bush. Russert said "Bush knows that people hate these clowns--he shoed them." He "shoed" these guys! You've gotta laugh!

DeLay said he hates to disappoint James Carville, but he supports Bush for President and the Bush will let DeLay do what he wants.

Sure, DeLay--that is, if you get re-elected yourself. We will editorialize you to death on our Texas mirror sites next year!

Russert called Rush Limbaugh, of all people, "A very leading Conservative leader." We were laughing out loud! So what is Russert a leading moronic leader? Russert honored Mr. Insolence in Broadcasting this way because Rush did Russert's one-hour show (which no one watches) on CNBC.

Russert then took on DeLay, asking why 68 Republicans voted to let people sue their HMOs--as DeLay is in the back pockets of the HMO industry in America. DeLay could not answer.

DeLay claimed that the President is trying to bankrupt the nation with medical care for the poor, the aged, and children! Hahahahaha. DeLay looks great, doesn't he?

Russert showed a poll showing that America by 60% thinks the GOP congress is doing a lousy job.

DeLay said that those numbers were even worse in January--a good "pol" move--but "we are stopping the raid on social security"

...the raid THEY started. Hahahahaha! Oh God, get me to Russia!

William Bennett--loser of the year--was next. He said that Bush should not have attacked the GOP Congress. However, it was good that he said what he felt. Bennett then went on to defend Tom DeLay because he adopts foster children.

Hahahahaha. What a great, "moral" guy that makes DeLay. Maybe he abuses them--how does Bennett know? Most foster children hate their foster/adoptive parents. In DeLay's case, it's not hard to understand why.

Bennett said well we have our disagreements, that is what a FREE AND OPEN party does! Again, we were rolling on the floor! Free and open--the party of Newt? And Bennett was Newt's biggest defender--before we got rid of HIM.

Then Russert held up Bork's newest Bennettian-Hitlerian tome, Slouching Towards Gomorrah. Bennett defended Bork and attacks Bush. But then he turned around and defended Bush by saying he was not really attacking Bork. Bennett thinks that Bush is "politically" correct on the issue of earned income tax credits. He said Bush is REALLY compassionate (not a phony like Bennett himself). Bennett too brought up the Bush trip to Harlem. You've just gotta love that--they really want Bush to look like a guy who loves blacks.

If that's the case, why, only months ago, did Bush sell his house with a "no nigger" clause in its deed?

Bennett said that Rush is a friend of his. Bennett then apologized for Rush and said that Rush read the speech the next day and liked it. It was another gut-busting Eat the Press moment--how many people has Bennett now apologized for without their authorization? Rush, Bork, DeLay, Bush, himself (snicker).

Bennett wanted to know whether Bush committed a felony by using cocaine. Bush hasn't told him.

Nor should he.

Bennett claimed that Pukeanan was flirting with fascism. Oh. please--and just what is Bennett flirting with? The Muppets? Bennett said that Pukeanan should go on to the Reform/Carnival party.

Two nuts from the Reform Party--Russ Verney (outgoing nobody Chairman of the party) and Jack Gargan (the incoming nobody)--respectively think and don't think that Ventura should resign for what he said to Playboy. Of course, no one cares what either of these nutballs say. Verney said, "He does not share our views. Ventura should resign and start his own party."

Hey, Russ, if he did, where would the Reform Party be? We'll make it simple for you--NOWHERE. Hey Jesse--we say you should stick it to this nutcase Verney and do just that. These crazies--the same people who backed Howard Stern for Governor of New York--did nothing for you, anyway.

Gargan defended Ventura and said you have to read the entire Playboy interview to realize that what he said was nowhere as bad as people say (well, of course not). Varney likes to pick on Ventura for picking on fat people. God, what a "problem"--some of us are fat and we pick on each other all the time.

Gargan said he does think that Ventura should apologize just for unintentionally hurting someone. Russert told them that Ventura doesn't care what Verney thinks--Verney speaks for "Squeaky" Perot. Gargan, who will become the Chair of the Party in January, pointed out the Ventura's approval ratings are higher than most Governors in the US--even after the Playboy interview. He wants to know why Verney does not challenge Pukeanan for his Nazi ideals. Verney said it is because Pat ain't a member of his party. What a riot.

Verney said he embraces Lenora Fulani--a Black National Socialist who once stood next to Libyan dictator Khadafi and renounced the United States. Verney said she has now "embraced" the Reform Party's platform. He said he would attack her too if she said something dumb. Well, Russ, Fulani's guru said that JEWS sold out the country. That stupid enough for you?

Ventura said that Pukeanan is a "retread"--does Gargan agree with him? No, he says. Well, that's Gargan's out. Gargan looks like a nice local plumber. Gargan said that Trump could be the nominee of the Reform Party--but anyone can claim they are going to be our nominee, but until they get on the ballot in thirty states and win the primaries--they are not a candidate.

Verney welcomed all to come and bring their organizations and their money. Yeah, sure, we bet they're going to come flocking.

Not!

Finally, Russert asked both nobodies to respond to Bill Bennett's depiction of the Reform Party as a joke, a carnival, a circus. As if their answers would matter except to the two dozen or so committed (or "should be committed") members of the Reform Party

And that was it for Eat the Press!

Left Unsaid

What little was said about the passage of the Patients' Bill of Rights included one bit of spin: it has little chance of passing in the Senate. Don't believe it--Trent Lott, who still refuses to apologize to blacks for his involvement with the Council of Conservative [White Segregationist] Citizens, may still be Majority Leader, but enough sane Republicans in the Senate know darn well that a failure to pass this important legislation will boomerang back on the GOP--in the worst way--and that Tom DeLay's dire hint that this is another step toward Hillary Clinton Socialized Medicine does not resonate with uninsured people and families that are fed up with HMO shenanigans.

The Sabbath Gasbags will have to address this topic sooner or later. Let's see what they do next week--if and after the Senate votes up or down.