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Pundit Pap - The Sunday Spew
For Sunday, October 26th 1997
All drawings and sketches - Copyright©American Politics Journal 1997
Editorial Note: This is the first in a weekly series on television political pundits and their guest. The feature is important inasmuch as what network "analysts" tell the American voter is often taken as gospel. Always keep in mind that TV pundits owe their jobs to the very elected and appointed officials they are supposedly watching for us. You'll rarely see a pundit offend a congressman, with this exception -- Brit Hume -- always a cantankerous in fighter. You'll also rarely see a pundit correct a pol or insist on an answer to the question they actually asked. This leads to high hilarity - worthy of comment here. Watch for the "Quotes of the Week" [QOTW] Awards on these pages and the "Barb of the Week" which is an award for the sharpest remark to or about an elected official. - JMK
Tim Russert on Meet the Press - The best, as always.
Bill Bradley wailed
New York -- Well, it was a slow newsweek but television pundits pulled out the stops trying to keep the few hundred of us who actually watch this stuff awake. As usual, Tim Russert led the quality, with guests Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, and former New Jersey Senator Bill " The Whiner" Bradley who moaned about the sorry state of campaign finance for more than half the time Russert gave him. I thought I'd shoot the screen. Bradley wasn't complaining when he took money while in the Senate.
Tony Snow of Fox News Sunday - Too well done
Tony Snow of Fox led off as usual on his 9 AM show -- the name of which I find hard to remember. Snow, obviously no slouch for hours of sitting in the "blow-dry chair at Vidal Sassoon," was joined by the ever-boring Mara Liasson -- boring because she's smart. Juan Williams, a great guy, seemingly unaffected by his clear intellect.
Brit Hume
Tom Brokaw-wanna-be Brit Hume, who just has to have had mega-injections of something in those pouting lips of his, was petulant as usual. Snow's first guest was the ever-lovable Utah Senator Orrin Hatch who discussed the virtues of California's Proposition 209 which needs no further comment other than Hatch thinks racial preferences are a dirty word and Snow agrees with him.
QUOTES OF THE WEEK #1: "If she doesn't appoint a special counsel, all Hell's gonna break loose."- Orrin Hatch
Orrin Hatch
But Old Orrin's best comment, talking about Attorney General Janet Reno was: "If she doesn't appoint a special counsel, all Hell's gonna break loose."
Janet Reno better watch out! Senator Hatch doesn't use the "H" word and risk going there himself without good reason.
Bill Paxon
Snow also hosted Rep. Bill Paxon -- Newt Gingrich's Brutus -- to tell us all about Global Warming and how much it will hurt big business. Paxon was checked by the blonde lovely, Katie McGinty who made her Sunday pundit debut defending the White House, where she works. Clinton has a good eye.
The lovely Katie McGinty
QUOTES OF THE WEEK#2: "If it's too cold it's global warming. If it's too hot it's global warming. I don't get it." -Tony Snow
Paxon started out his rant by excusing himself, "I'm not a scientist," he said -- and that's when we should have turned the dial. Basically he felt that America's corporations were going to be hard-pressed to meet the President's guideline while McGinty replied, "What's good for the environment is good for the economy." Where have we heard that one before -- and for how long do we have to?
QUOTE OF THE YEAR: For some reason Snow mentioned that half the Congress fled their chambers last week to get to the Stones concert. And then he said this -- "Keith Richards has... .a face like melted wax." Hey Tony, what was that about. Didn't get a good seat?
Juan Williams
Juan Williams, Mara Liasson, Hume and Snow agreed that Clinton wouldn't take Dole up in his POTUS-baiting invitation to testify before the Thompson circus.
Mara Liasson
Hume again, naturally
Eager to get in good with Bill Gates, corporate butt kissers Hume and Snow spent a lot of time defending Bill Gates and Microsoft against the Justice Department's attack on Microsoft's net explorer.
A Microsoft Executive VP defended Gates on "This Week"
"I follow this stuff," preened Hume,"It's kind of a fuzzy problem," but then went right on to defend MSFT to the death. Juan Williams took the other side, "What about innovation?," he asked.
Quote of the Week -Honorable Mention: Williams then sent a zinger to Washington State with this stunner: "Netscape's Navigator is a better product." Ho Ho, you might as well forget about getting on NBC Juan.
Tony Snow
Tony Snow did have an interesting parting comment. It was about Kiddee Kash - something we've written about here many times in the past. Snow's against it, and chides Congress for not making it a part of any campaign finance fix thus far proposed. Kiddee Kash, bluntly is when parents launder money through their kids "checking accounts." But Snow lost a little credibility when he said Kiddee Kash contributions added up to about $2 million in 1996 -- how does he know? How can anyone know that? The answer - they can't.
Ambrose Evans Pritchard - Go Home you fruitcake!
A quick check of CSPAN revealed the totally unknown British "author" of "The Secret Life of Bill Clinton." The writer -- Ambrose Evans Pritchard -- a real mouthful -- was obviously appealing to American conspiracy theorists (all 23 of them) when he tried to link the Oklahoma Bombing to Bill Clinton. How, you ask? Well, something about the fact that Bill didn't take personal responsibility for Waco, which caused the Whackos to form militias, which bred bombers which -- and get this - never would have happened -- and this is a quote "if Paul Tsongas had been president."
Huh?
Roland Evans
Ah, and then the nauseating team of Evans and Novak - well "Rollie" Roland Evans isn't so bad, but Novak, a real media hog was at it again - boring us to death with House Ways and Means Chairman Bill Archer who's one of the few Republicans who has my vote. The topic -- screwing the IRS and why GOP Senator Roth isn't helping Archer.
BIll Archer
That question never got answered like most of Evan's and Novak's inquiries. But Archer held his own as Novak played Devil's advocate for Clinton. Archer wants to put the burden of proof on the IRS rather than on the taxpapyer which means the "guilty until proven innocent" theory of law under which IRS runs now would be out the window.
Bob Novak
Bob Novak, pretending to criticize Archer for producing a 9,000 + tax code got his head handed back when smiling Bill Archer said he wanted to abolish the IRS altogether -- of course he's been saying that for years -- "We want to abolish the income tax," said Archer who then moved to first place in the GOP race horse for president.
John McLaughlin
The McLaughlin Group, or the Mc "Laugh In" Group as I call 'em, was really pathetic today. The usual up-tempo style of the wonderfully entertaining and usually insightful John McLaughlin just wasn't there as the panel - this week made up of prep-schoolboy James Carney, too cool for words Morton Kondracke, silly Fred "The Beetle" Barnes, and male impersonator Eleanor Clift.
Fred "The Beetle" Barnes
Hot topics: Have the Democrats proved the Republicans were as trashy as they were with campaign finance? Mort and James: No; Fred: Yes; Eleanor: (and she gets the Golden Spike award for this) said about Senator Bob doles's upcoming testimony before Fred Thompson:
Eleanor Clift - THE GOLDEN BARB AWARD WINNER THIS WEEK!
"Dole should wear an ADM sweat shirt when he testifies," sneered the left of center Clift. I have to say I cheered her on as the others ignored her hoping ADM would miss her quip. Clift was referring to Archer Daniels Midland Corp being the "Supermarket to the Congress" but even McLaughlin wouldn't touch that with a ten foot pole.
James Carney
McLaughlin asked the guys and "gal" whether they thought Thompson was "finished." All agreed he was, and implied he hadn't done a very good job as chairman of the Senate campaign finance circus. Someone remarked that Thompson might be saved if he got that Indian Tribe to testify against Clinton for zapping their gaming license and, get this, if Jimmy Carter would testify that Clinton was a scum.
Fat chance.
Morton Kondracke
McLaughlin then queried his pundits, "Was Gore's remark about Ellen Degeneris's coming out of the closet damaging to his candidacy for Prez in 2000?" Mort: "No;" Carney"...unfortunate remark;" Clift: "Ellen's coming out show was very positive -- Where's Imus when we need him to drop "the bomb." Barnes: Said something unintelligible. McLaughlin said: "It was a plus for Gore." And John was right. People who actually criticized Gore for his support of a lesbian kiss on television would never vote for Al anyway. Now he's got the Hollywood money and 10 million or so gay American votes.
McLaughlin Predictions: Fred Barnes: "The GOP will increase the Defense Department budget next year;" Eleanor Clift: "Whitman wins for Governor of New Jersey." Not a squeaker Eleanor. James Carney: GOP sweep in '98. Sure Jim.
Madeleine Albright
Meet The Press. Well Tim Russert, handily winning the ratings war with the crowd of gimps at ABC's "This Week" did it again with Madeleine Albright defending "Red" China with all she had. Russert wouldn't let her get away with it, although I suspect he's backing the White House in it's treatment of President Jiang Zemin thus far. Russert spent a lot ot time asking Albright how the US could treat the Chinese dictator like they might treat the President of France, including a state dinner and a 21 gun salute. Albright, unruffled, laid out her usual line of excuses and pretended she and the President were tough on China for human rights violations, etc. Here's a great line from Albright:
"He (Jiang Zemin) actually sings American songs and quotes Jefferson and Lincoln." Sure, and probably on their private attitudes towards slavery. Albright also defended the White House posture because (1) China is a huge country and (2) China is a huge country.
ASIDE: By the way, what's with General Electric and ADM? Are they the only ones who advertize on EVERY SINGLE political opinion show that airs, every day of the year? Yep, and you know why, because every congressman and staffer watch these shows to see what they think of each other. It doesn't hurt to flaunt the power of corporate gigantism to those folks.
Russert also hit Albright with the story of the Chinese priest who was arrested for building a shrine to the Virgin Mary, but Madeleine had him there telling Tim that the priest had been released and that the Chinese were going to have some kind of a priest summit. Yeah, that fixes everything. Essentially Russert made it clear that the press wasn't falling for Chinese boot licking while they ran helter-skelter over everything supposedly important to Americans -like freedom for instance.
Andrea Mitchell
Andrea MItchell, a co-host to Russert yesterday, chimed in with "Do the Chinese know what they're in for when they arrive?," speaking of huge anti-China demonstrations planned for college campuses the Chinese delegation plans to visit. Albright put her mind to rest saying, "Well, they ought to be." Some talk ensued about "giving" China nuclear reactors while they were selling nuclear weapons to whoever. Albright retorted "We aren't giving anything away!" I guess that explains it. We must be selling it to them.
To Tim Russert's ridiculous question about how Albright feels about Chinese leadership remarks that the U.S. is "too pushy" about Democracy, Albright looked sharp replying, "I don't agree."
QUOTES OF THE WEEK #3: Albright looked a bit foolish discussing the fact that the Chinese leader adored the song "Love Me Tender" as does Bill Clinton. She actually said, "You never know when Elvis might show up."
John Glenn - QUOTES OF THE WEEK #4:
John Glenn was Russert's next guest. Glenn was boring as all get out and praised Bob Dole, but lit into Dole aides Coe and Reed saying he would push for Thompson to enforce and then file a contempt of Congress charge on the two whippersnappers who sent word through the RNC that they would never testify before the Senate Committee. Glenn, for Glenn, was infuriated. He snapped the two had simply said "Shove It"
Lisa Meyers
Co-hostess Lisa Meyers, always probing, asked whether Glenn thought the delay in the White House tapes and documents delivery was "an obstruction of justice." Well, Lisa, what did you expect Glenn to say. His answer? "No."
David Broder - Used to be my hero
Russert ended the day with David Broder and Bob Novak - [NOT AGAIN!] Broder though partisanship was driving the Thompson Committee hearings on campaign finance. Of course he was dead right but Bob Novak, God Bless Him. was there whining that Broder wasn't being fair to Thompson. Broder, who must have gotten beat up a lot in grade school, instead of sticking to his guns that Thompson was a total Republican whore -- said only this, "I wasn't criticizing him."
Oh Lord.
Broder also came out for a national sales tax or flat tax while Lisa Meyers called that "class warfare." Obviously she hasn't done her homework and doesn't realize that flat taxes are proportional and a lot fairer than graduated income taxes as long as food and clothing are exempted. When are these idiot liberals going to attack state sales taxes and all state and local fees as "class warfare?" They're the same thing! You don't spend, you don't pay. You spend a lot, you pay a lot. As Broder pointed out, they've been doing it in Western European democracies forever.
Bob Novak on China: "We can't rule the world."
Oh yeah, why not Bob?
Sam Donaldson
Now on to ABC which has the highest paid bunch of pundit clowns on the network scene including oft-mentioned senate candidate George Stephanopoulos who began his campaign today saying some very unfriendly things about the White House and George Will who ought to step aside and take the job as Commissioner of Baseball.
George Stephanopoulos
Stephanopoulos was highly critical of the way the White House was rolling ou;the red carpet for Chinese leadership despite their horrible human rights record. "The Chinese are playing them like a fiddle." he sneered. Sam Donaldson, not known or his brains, agreed wholeheartedly with George but then disagreed with him as well. But this is typical Donaldson and no one listens to him anyway - -not even members of the panel he "chairs" on television. George Will muttered something, and then Cokie Roberts, who I openly loathe, asked "Why are they being so cowardly?"
Mark Mobias
Byron Wien
Guest Mark Mobias told ABC viewers that he thinks things will get worse in Hong Kong financial markets and Byron Wien of Morgan Stanley seemed to agree. No one much cared.
"Cokie" Roberts-I heard her Mom plotting against Jesse Jackson
George Will, always ready to put a psycho-spin on things offered this pap: We are slowing making the region collapse because we engage the Chinese in "contracts" and other American stuff that will force them to become a democracy and get rid of the current leadership. Anyway, something along those lines. If you watch Will, who is brilliant when he isn't having migraines, you'll know what I'm talking about and why he should stick to the written word.
Bill Kristol
Bill Kristol, a card carrying right-winger, hit it on the head when he muttered "1.2 billion consumers... that's the answer.
Yep.
Then the show, as usual, deteriorated with "Cokie" Roberts talking about the massive problems with child care and Donaldson weeping, "Yeah, we need a child care system," which threw Bill Kristol into a spasm, "Ridiculous," just about sums up his feelings on the matter. Stephanopoulos, eyeing that New York Senate seat talked up the "real" problem of "after school" child care.
But professorial George Will saved the day with a long speech that went something like this: " There is a considerable level of anxiety in the country about whether parents are making the wrong decision not having mothers stay at home..... ". Snoring could be heard around the nation.
Finally - everyone on every show, including me, wish the First Lady, (Hillary Clinton in case you forgot), a Happy 50th Birthday!
And that's the way it was.
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