American Politics Journal

Tucker Carlson, Stealth Hate Monger
by Jeff Koopersmith

"If The Republican National Committee Was A Prison, Tucker Carlson would be Newt Gringrich's favorite bitch." -- Leon Smith


Tucker's Mag
Wednesday, October 29th, 1997 -- NEW YORK (APJ) -- This must be the week for goofball e-mail.

I got a phone call at 5:15 this morning from a 15 year-old intern of ours. She was crying. She told me, through teenage tears, that punk journalist Tucker Carlson, the baby-faced image of Bob's Big Boy, had sent me an e-mail with two words. She wouldn't tell me what they were. I calmed the intern, whose job it is to ferret out hundreds of pieces of junk mail, and went to my office to see for myself.Here's an exact copy of what I found:

Received: from kds5.kivex.com (kds5.kivex.com [204.177.32.2]) by hiway1.exit109.com (8.8.5/8.7.3) with ESMTP id QAA29132 for <editors@apj.us>; Tue, 28 Oct 1997 16:12:16 -0500 (EST)
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Message-Id: <199710282113.QAA23358@kds5.kivex.com>
X-Mailer: Microsoft Internet Mail & News for Macintosh - 3.0c (405)
Date: Tue, 28 Oct 1997 17:14:33 -0500
Subject: greetings
From: Tucker Carlson <tcarlson@weeklystandard.com>
To: editors@apj.us
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Dear Jeff,

Fuck you.

Sincerely,

Tucker Carlson

I've been watching this adolescent nemesis for about a year now. Carlson, who is easily spotted as a thug who accidently "made it" too quickly, must have read something I wrote about him in American Politics Journal. I'm not sure what it was; he isn't that important, but I'm sure it wasn't flattering.

My response to his ever-present creamy white skin on pundit television: huh? Who's he?

It turns out that Carlson was spawned by the ever-truth-twisting Heritage Foundation where he was a shooting star that landed at Bill Kristol's Weekly Standard, where he's now a staff writer.

Carlson must have one brilliant agent, because you can hardly turn on the television lately without seeing him making a fool of himself -- often sporting a bow tie in honor, I suppose, of George Will.

I've seen entire tribes of Tucker Carlsons come and go during my 25-odd years in Washington, and I can't understand why Kristol -- who's one of the few conservatives with a good mind -- keeps him around. Maybe it's because he's so cuddly.

Anyway, I fired off copies of Carlson's e-mail to the Heritage foundation, the White House and the Weekly Standard -- for openers. Sometime today we'll get around to faxing it to the FBI, which frowns on such language in uninvited discourse, and then to most House Republicans and as many Christian Coalition-type leaders and organizations we can find.

It will be fun.

Tucker's suicidal note reminded me of my own boarding school antics. Only difference is, Carlson is in his late 20s and we were 14.

Sitting down reading his e-mail gave me the impetus to find out more about him.

So I wandered into my computer and pulled out searches on Mr. Carlson. Thought I'd familiarize you with his pap.

Here's one possible explanation for his note this morning:

"I just like to fight, and I think he does too. It's fun to throw nasty letters back and forth."
-- Tucker Carlson, Weekly Standard reporter, on his war of letters in Slate with fellow conservative journalist David Brock.


...prints a lot of Tucker's stuff.
Curious to see his wordy fight with Brock, I found the letters they exchanged in a back issue of "Slate" -- the best general webzine on the Internet.

Carlson, a self-appointed watchdog for the book burners , took on David Brock in a series of two exchanged letters regarding Brock's problems with the conservative elite in Washington who locked Brock out of their petty "inner circle" doings after his book on Hillary Clinton failed to immolate her. Brock found he actually liked and respected the First Lady, and surrendered his visa to a variety of "American Nationalist" dinners, teas, and plotting sessions because of it.

Tucker writes to Brock about Grover Norquist -- a truly disgusting character -- and the head of the RNC front group Americans for Tax Reform.Norquist evidently began a whispering campaign on Brock (a favorite Republican tactic) for "helping the other team." He also mentions that mega-liar Oliver North and Nixonite G. Gordon Liddy (one of my favorite entertainers) barred Brock from their radio shows, and then Carlson cleverly, albeit underhandedly, "re-outs" Brock as being gay by quoting Brock himself.

What a piece of work.

Carlson tells Brock he's "disingenuous" in his feeling that he is unfairly attacked by the right and left undefended by the left for his scathing book on Anita Hill.

Tucker himself calls Norquist "a mean-spirited, humorless, dishonest little creep." Don't we all hate most in others what we loathe in ourselves? Tucker goes on to call Norquist a "repulsive, drunken uncle everyone wishes would stay home."

But then Carlson shows his own true, some would say power-inebriate, effeminate, viciousness -- attacking Brock for having a desk at the American Spectator as a "high-paying, low-obligation" job. He also accuses Brock of getting "rich from a book that didn't sell."

Only a cretin, or me on this day, would publicly attack a man on personal and private grounds -- especially one who feels isolated from his former friends simply for telling the truth as he sees it.

Carlson gets personal again in his second letter to Brock, who wrote about his exile in Esquire. He actually counted how many times Brock referred to himself in his first reply to Tucker (45) and admonishes him for his lack of attack or defense of conservative ideology -- whatever that is.

Tucker also thinks Gingrich is the cat's pajamas. He says this about "His Feloniousness," the Speaker:"Newt Gingrich, as close to a Mother Teresa as conservatism has..."

Carlson may be right, but which conservatives does he speak of, Germans?

Carlson is nothing much more than a hired stooge for the Republican Party -- and there's nothing wrong with that. After all, most television and print journalists have become GOP whores or pseudowhores since the RNC takeover of Congress. They know where their bread is buttered.

His cover? The Weekly Standard -- which openly criticizes Newt Gingrich and other "conservatives" who don't toe the Hitlerian line. So, Carlson can say he's open minded by staffing the Standard yet continue to make his name attacking women like Hillary Clinton and, full of awe, respecting media-hyped events like the Promise Keepers rally which he -- guilt-ridden -- thought was moving.

Attending the rally, Tucker wrote -- again to Slate -- criticizing his fellow journalists for being bored to death with Christian breast beating. He says he had to remind himself that the men there "weren't crazy" and rationalizes this by pointing out that the group had "... bikers, pudgy middle managers from the Middle West, and [read between the lines] a surprisingly large number of Black Men... . "

Why surprising, Tucker? Aren't blacks capable of being hoodwinked by Christian hucksters?

Tucker opines that Promise Keepers operates under the assumption that repentance is good and that they're right, but he fails to see the most obvious PK ploy used by thousands of snake-oil salesmen, most recently by EST leader Werner Erhardt: keep them guilty, hungry and mad and you can convince them of anything.

Hitler knew that well.

Carlson reveals himself even more, writing, "Men are pigs. If you only knew what was going through our minds a lot of the time."

Really, Tucker?

Here's another clue to his psyche:

"Wives and children are the great civilizers of men. More than law, police, jail, or fear of death, having a family induces men to become good citizens."
--
Tucker Carlson -- in neoconservative Policy Review

Here's another laugh:

"Three Madison Awards Given For Pro-Gun Articles and Editorials"

"The Second Amendment Foundation is proud to announce that The New York Post, Tucker Carlson, and the Tempe Daily News Tribune will receive James Madison Awards this quarter...Our second Madison Award goes to Tucker Carlson for his analysis of guns as a 'public health' issue. His article, entitled 'Handgun Control, M.D.', appeared in the April 15, 1996 edition of The Weekly Standard."

His article began by reporting on a rally of doctors in Washington, D.C. for "[t]he latest addition to America's ever-expanding definition of health care: gun control." One pediatrician was quoted as saying, "Guns are a virus that must be eradicated."

Guns were also considered a "pathogen" and gun violence an "epidemic" by this group.

Their way of thinking was "debunked" by Mr. Carlson when he stated that, "For one thing, guns aren't pathogens... Genuine pathogens, as any doctor knows, cause disease when introduced into a pathogen-free environment. Considering that there are more than 200 million privately owned firearms in the United States, only a minuscule fraction of which are ever used in acts of violence, guns don't qualify under this definition."

Carlson noted that suicides are included and therefore the number of deaths involving family members and friends are greatly increased.

Duh.

He then correctly pointed out that "[s]ome of the countries with the world's strictest gun-control laws -- Japan, Hungary, Cuba -- also have the highest rates of suicide."

His logic here is escapable, and typically silly.

Tucker ended by stating that, "The arguments that surround gun violence are complicated, the obvious conclusions often less obvious than they appear. Perhaps it is a subject that, as a doctor might say, is best left to the experts."

Yes, so why didn't you, Carlson?

Tucker Carlson, on a radio show, attacked CIA critics because there has been no evidence that the CIA knew that contras were selling cocaine to South Central Los Angeles drug dealer "Freeway" Ricky Ross.

But that's the point, moron. The CIA should have known.

Carlson has also been adopted by federal felon Chuck Colson for "protecting" the births of Down Syndrome babies. Carlson wants doctors to keep delivering DS kids, but, I suspect, doesn't want to pay for their care.

In his heart-rending and misleading article titled "Why Max Deserves a Life," Colson says aborting DS stricken fetuses is eugenics and cites Carlson who wrote about Republican-bludgeoned Dr. Jocelyn Elders -- a black woman, of course:

"Here was a public health official praising 'the eugenic utility of abortion,' " notes Tucker Carlson in the Weekly Standard.

But Carlson's sick logic offers no discussion with DS kids themselves who grow to adulthood in underfunded "cages" supplied them by the conservatives he defends.

As Carlson put it, in a time when people with Down's syndrome can live lives that are "strikingly normal," they have been "targeted for elimination."

I'd say that's journalism in its highest form, wouldn't you? After all, people with Down Syndrome really do lead strikingly normal lives. They don't attend regular schools, they're most-often incontinent. They can't drive or often date. They rarely marry and regularly die at a very young age. But Tucker, bleeding heart conservative that he is, want s to preserve his opportunity to "feel good" about himself, much as Martha Stewart wants to make you guilty for not baking fresh Armenian bread every day of the week.

In defense of Carlson, he was a Bradley Scholar -- whatever that is.

Carlson is also a cop lover. Well, so am I, after all I represented about 30,000 of them in my time. But Tucker takes it to an extreme and really insults police by writing stories lauding rent-a-cops as the answer to public tranquility. He cites neighborhood watch groups like the Grand Central Partnership based in New York City where property owners are taxed an additional 12.5 cents per square foot to:
hire private street sweepers/trash collectors;
purchase garbage cans/street lights/flower boxes;
h
ire multi-lingual tour guides; O
open "drop-in centers" to feed the homeless;
AND, most important to hire uniformed security guards.

You see, Carlson thinks that having your own private police force is the answer to hunger and poverty in America.

"Keep 'em out of your neighborhood and you'll be able to live like a white man" seems to be Carlson's neatly-conceited philosophy.

As Carlson emphasized, "if the results of these private firms are any indication, this sort of policing can help restore community life-keeping everyone less busy worrying about crime and more busy building families and neighborhoods."

Translation: Hire private thugs with no training who'll keep minorities and other felons off YOUR streets so you can drive an expensive car and pump out more white kids.

Other notable Carlson "journalistic endeavors" include "Al Gore's Globaloney", which criticizes Gore saying that global warming is a "complicated scientific question, but not in the White House's book." Carlson again appeals to his constituency -- big business polluters who've excited and enticed him with their "power."

Carlson also irresponsibly attacks Vice-President Al Gore, claiming, in error, that he has broken campaign finance laws. Carlson argues that without a conviction, the effects of such charges will be small on the vice-president's intentions to run for president in the next presidential election. Well, one can't argue with that assumption. Carlson qualifies Gore's complacent attitude by indicating that in the end, it will be Gore who will have to answer the questions, and everybody will be listening.

Nothing could be farther from the truth, and even a wet-behind-the ears tyro like Carlson knows it. Carlson hasn't a scintilla of proof showing any wrongdoing by Gore and knows full well that this issue will be dead well before 2000 rolls in.

Everyone in Washington knows Carlson for what he is, and what he is not. What he is, is a bought and paid for journo-thug whose target is Al Gore. Besides his pathetic little pieces criticizing the Vice President for not showing up at some Earth summit, Carlson is constantly heard calling Gore a criminal

In a Weekly Standard cover story, "The Real Al Gore," Carlson provides a shockingly false profile of the vice-president. He writes that Gore's press conference to explain his role in the growing fund-raising scandals stunned a lot of reporters.

Sure. I submit it would take a lot more than that to shock those people.

Carlson spews that it allowed them to see a side of Al Gore which "has escaped detection" for so long. Hmmmm -- sounds mysterious. Again, no beef.

But this transcript from Tony Snow's Fox News Sunday tells the story of Tucker Carlson and who he is:

Thanks to Fox News Sunday for this transcript!

FOX NEWS SUNDAY

Sunday, December 22, 1996

Mr. TUCKER CARLSON (Weekly Standard): Dr. Kissinger, you've been one of the most consistent voices urging the United States not to take a confrontational tone toward China, and yet since 1989, China has become both more repressive internally and more aggressive toward its neighbors, most notably Taiwan. I'm wondering what the advantages are of continuing this sort of Cold War policy of not confronting China. How exactly do we benefit from laying off and not pushing the--the Chinese for concessions on, for instance, trade and human rights?

Translation: Those commies bastards are repressing their people and not obeying the American Way. They're trying to take Taiwan back and even though we don't recognize Taiwan as a nation that's bad because we have a lot of investments there. Why don't we bomb Beijing, and what's the good of preaching free trade and human rights to a bunch of pinkos?

Dr. KISSINGER: That is--that is not my--you have not stated my view exactly accurately. I'm saying that we need an overall policy towards Asia. And in that overall policy, China, by its size, by its history, by its impact on its neighboring countries, will play a significant role. I do not favor confrontations which we then reverse and which cannot be related to a--to a long-term policy. Again, I have no objections to a--to asserting our interests on the issue of trade. And on the issue of human rights, we have to balance any one issue against the long-term evolution in China, which I believe has led to a greater degree of well-being for the population, though the human rights issue is--is far from settled. I'm asking for establishing the thing in a--in an overall relationship and not to believe that in Asia, if we conduct confrontation accords on our own, we will not be tot--totally isolated. And that's what I'm trying to avoid.

Translation: What are you, a moron?

TONY SNOW: Topic number one, the Oakland, Ca--the Oakland, California, public schools are now going to teach Ebonics, which is a ba--a black English they're going to recognize as a parallel language to English. Your reaction, Tucker Carlson?

Mr. CARLSON: Well, I think it sounds like something the Klan thought up. I mean, this is--you know, it's like saying, `OK, don't speak intelligible En--English. You'll never get a job. I mean, this is--this is a language where nobody knows how to conjugate the verbs. I mean, it's ridiculous, and I think it shows once again that the most dangerous group in America are public school administrators who would push something like this.

Translation: Why should we teach them how to talk using their own language first. I mean they'll never get off welfare if they can't speak my kind of English. Even I can conjugate verbs. Pandering to Blacks is a joke. I think we should abolish public schools so everyone who is deserving can go to fancy prep schools.

SNOW: Do you buy that, Tony Coelho?

Mr. COELHO: I don't buy the last comment...

Translation: What is he, a moron?

SNOW: Are you telling me also that there is any parallel between the allegations against Jim Wright and those against Newt Gingrich?

Mr. COELHO: Well, it's a question if--of: Are you pursue--were you pursuing money for some interest? It's obvious here that the issue is--is money. The issue was Newt was trying to get money into the political system in a way that you couldn't do it otherwise. And it was creative. You went through a tax exempt foundation...

Mr. CARLSON: Oh, wait. Hold on. He wasn't getting the political system. He was giving it to some dippy college course in Georgia. I mean...

Translation: Uh oh! I'd better change the subject, Coelho's getting too close to the truth. Maybe if I embarrass Newt by calling his course "dippy" they won't suspect I'm his whore.

Mr. CARLSON: It was a very dangerous college course, I agree.

Translation: That course was a bad joke.

Mr. COELHO: Yeah.

Mr. CARLSON: But I think that the--the--the point that is-- Tony's making is that, you know, Gingrich has admitted to something, the president hasn't. And that is the very point--is that Gingrich has had some ridiculous, tiny violation having to do with 501-C3 tax law. Nobody can understand it and he admits it and Clinton has had arms deals...

Translation: Gingrich got away with murder by copping plea on a federal felony, but that doesn't leave him off the hook for future indictment by Reno. I know...I'll call it a "tiny violation" to launder money through a charity...that'll throw them off. Yeah, and then I'll change the focus to Clinton.

SNOW: But one of...

Mr. COELHO: Everything is tidy--everything is tidy when a Republican does it and it's major when a Democrat does.

Mr. CARLSON: No, I'm not saying that.

Translation: Yes I am.

SNOW: Very quickly, this was a great week for media bashers. ABC TV lost a second liable case, this one involving Food Lion grocery stores. What does this mean?

Mr. CARLSON: Well, it means that people hate the press, and I think, for a good reason. I mean, we're obnoxious and arrogant and horrible in a lot of ways. On the other hand, ABC didn't do anything wrong, which is to say it didn't run anything that was untrue. And so I think it's very dangerous to put Freedom of the Press, guaranteed by the Constitution, in...

Translation: Who gives a damn about Food Lion, I'm making some money being a hateful little jerk and I'm proud of it. So I'll defend ABC -- I shop at Safeway anyway.

Mr. CARLSON: Well, there ought to be a law then, only positive news. I mean, come on, you can't control us. The First Amendment control--I mean, guarantees it.

Translation: So there!

CARLSON'S PREDICTION:

Mr. CARLSON: Gingrich gets unanimous support from House Republicans the 7th of January. He gets a reprimand from the Ethics Committee, and he becomes the most silent speaker in American history for the next six months.

Wrong again, eh, Tucker?

By the way: how did your parents decide to give you that name? It's weird.


A Word from Eliot Janeway:

"Jeff Koopersmith, a client, a friend, and one of the keenest minds in American politics, told me one afternoon: 'A good place to begin thinking critically about American and Western European politics is to ask yourself: What kind of man or woman would choose to run for public office? Think about that.' -- I did."

Now, come and read Jeff Koopersmith who, for more than 25 years, has elevated the phrase "There's a sucker born every minute" to dazzling heights.

-Eliot Janeway, 1991

From an Introduction to Jeff Koopersmith's "Washington -- The New American Babylon"


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ISSN No. 1523-1690