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THE DAILY COMMENT

Christian Activists: The New American Klan

Paula JonesRalph Reed

What do Paula Jones and Ralph Reed have in common?

Wednesday, November 5th 1997: Despite my reticence to even bother to comment, let me devote a paragraph or two to yesterday's election results: Americans voted the "Greed and Narrowmindedness" ticket yesterday nearly across the board. Continuing their theme of "Let's get ours while we can," voters predictably stayed with Republicans and offered American business a new multiple entry visa for their rape-conomic passports. In New York, voters who less than a decade ago supported good health care and basic services for the poor now endorse Rudy Giuliani's "SlaveFare" which forces working mothers to ditch their kis and work at Burger King for minimal wages. In New Jersey, voters -- in the closest of calls gave millionaire dilatante Governor Christie Whitman -- ironically a dead ringer for Ellen Degeneris -- a blank check, which Whitman will deposit with auto insurance companies.

In Virginia, low class and low IQ "Christians" opted to pay a few dollars less in automobile personal property tax while ushering in cretin Jim Gilmore (R), whose claim to fame is bosom buddy "His Holiness" Pat Robertson and other televangelist snakeoilers. Next thing you know, Virginians, who during the 80's finally crawled out of there corncobber reputation, will secede, annexing themselves to the Vatican.

Speaking of Pat Robertson, Jim Gilmore, Ralph Reed and, lately, Paula Jones -- let's look at some survey results I received from a reader this week. The survey shows that "Christian Activists" -- you know, the kind that still sneak off on 707s to Sweden to have abortions -- think that members of the ACLU and gay rights groups "should not be allowed to: make a public speech, run for public office, demonstrate in public, or operate legally. Forty four percent said the "dangerous ones" should not be allowed to teach in public schools." Thoughtful Christians around the world are red-faced

NEA watch out.

Around a third of Christian Activists (C.A.s) said the ACLU and Gays in general were the number 1 and 2 "most dangerous" groups in America with only 5% citing militias in this category. One could draw two conclusions here: First, the average Christian activist is a moron, or; Second, the average Christian activist is a moron.

The 1997 survey was done in cooperation with the Institute of First Amendment Studies, the Bliss Institute of the University of Ohio. There were 600 respondents representing somewhere around 300,000 Americans.

Of course the respondents were 97% White. Blacks and other minorities aren't dumb enough to label themselves Christian "activists" -- they are largely just plain Christians if Christian at all. A whopping 47% of these kooks claimed they had post-graduate degrees which I'll bet, dollars to donuts, amount to correspondence "doctorates" in roadside preaching offered by this or that mail order "University" in Christiandom.

Keep this in mind when you need a laugh. Eight six percent -- yes folks 86% believe in a literal interpretation of the Bible. That means they think that the earth is only about 6,000 years old and that Charles Darwin was a Hollywood producer. Of course, to be fair, they really don't believe in literal interpretation -- they're simply liars and hypocrites who use the Bible for self-serving antics.

The same eighty-six percent say that Satan is a real being. And guess who that is?

Sixty percent believe the world will end in Armageddon, and 56% believe that Christians are obligated to try to convert Jews, which isn't so bad in itself. Most idiot savantes try to convince you of something.

Now remember these are the folks who are mucking up elections with full-blown leaflet wars that rate candidates on their "Christianess." And in places like Virginia, most of the South and parts of the MId-West, they're doing a great job. This makes sense, of course, when fifty-two percent of these self-appointed gurus agreed with the statement, "Christians should take dominion over all aspects of society, and Christians should be in politics to protect their values."

Ninety nine percent think "moral decay is the cause of America's problems." Of course, moral decay to them means being poor, Black, Jewish, Moslem, or Hispanic.

Most agreed with the statement, "The US has prospered when it obeyed God," thus it's obvious that "Clergy and churches should be involved in politics, " they thunder.

But here's the kicker -- 90% identified themselves as Republican, or "leaning Republican." That shouldn't be a surprise -- ya know "Birds of a feather." And Republicans, some with basic intellect, use their idiot C.A. cousins for all they're worth. Frankly, I'd be embarrassed if I were a Republican linked to these fruitcakes.

"Ethnic, racial, and religious diversity scored low, with only 40% supporting such crazy "ideas." Again, no surprise, since only 31% said 'a person can be both a good Christian and a liberal.'"

One thing's for certain, If Jesus was alive today, he wouldn't , by any stretch of the imagination, be a Republican.

Here are the groups leading the Christian Activist Top Ten (in order):

Ninety eight percent of C.A.'s think the news media has "too much influence." -- I agree with that, but only because the majority of the press can't or won't read - except scripts "researched" and prepared by college interns. Next in the "too much influence" category were "Feminists" -- Well that's a crock, when was the last time you saw Gloria Steinem doing "a good thing" on the Martha Stewart Show. (I have a sneaking suspicion that Stewart is a cross-dressing Promise Keeper.) Feminists were followed by "Hollywood movie makers" at 92% - which just goes to show you that Bob Dole and Orrin Hatch aren't completely impotent -- at least with this group anyway.

Here's some good news for New York - only 20% think Jews have too much influence. Of course they were probably scared to respond any other way -- I mean Jesus was a Jew, wasn't he?

Favorite C.A. personalities? Predictably, the men - no women - who profit most from corralling these "deep thinkers":

Personally, as a Christian Activist myself, I would've voted for Tammy Fay Baker - what a dish!

Ninety percent of these people voted for Bob Dole. The ten percent that didn't probably wrote in Katherine Kuhlman.

Just in case you think Christian Activists focus only on "family values," 93% support school vouchers, and 69% said environment laws have gone too far and should be reversed. --

Where'd that come from?

Oh, I guess a "literal interpretation" of the Republican National Committee's platform last year.

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From an Introduction to JK's, "Washington - The New American Babylon"