Contact Information for Pundit String-Pullers The New York Times The Washington Post ABC News Robert Iger ABC Radio Networks NBC CBS Westwood One |
Jocks, Jets, and Hillary-and-Al Bashing
by The Editors
Sunday, November 14, 1999 -- NEW YORK/WASHINGTON (APJNS) -- It was NBA "old home week" and a double serving of Al-and-Hillary bashing among the Sunday Opinion Mafiosi -- along with "breaking" news of the recovery of the cockpit voice recorder from EgyptAir Flight 990.
Here's what happened:
Lox News Sunday
A Feeding Frenzy on the Clintons
Pat Pukeanan, who seems to have had a stroke sometime between the last time we saw him and today, was the first incompetent guest Tony Snow interviewed this morning on Lox News "Scumday".
Pat preached the anti-China gospel, saying America should put the same tariffs on China as they do on us, tell them to stop pointing missiles at us [note: they are not], and stop persecuting Christians [read: but not Jews].
"The Puke" thinks that we should go back to the 19th century and become a manufacturing giant (which we already are, even now) and wake up and smell the roses! He then attacked the Israelis for transferring "lethal" technology (radar -- with the full accord of Congress and the White House, by the way). Naturally, he chose to attack Jews (like his hero Hitler) -- knowing all the time that it has been this country's position to give such technologies to potential enemies.
China is not our declared or secret enemy! Get that through your head, Puke. This crap about some war existing between us and China -- hot or cold -- is just a bald-faced lie.
Pukeanan has now adopted a PITCHFORK as the symbol of his campaign and the Reform Party. Satan, do you hear me?
Pukeanan thinks he is special and better than the other candidates because he worked as a third-rate aide to Dick Nixon. Well, so did Attorney General John Mitchell -- and he was a criminal, like Reagan's Ed Meese.
Snow asked the Puke if he has a skeleton in his closet. He said yes. But doesn't say what -- he then attacks Clinton for having a "walk in closet" for his skeletons. We know that the Puke was thrown out of Georgetown. He threw his sister Bay out of the Buchanan manse across from Sidwell Friends School because she dared to marry a Mormon -- and then took her back after she divorced him.
How compassionate of him.
Lenora Fulani -- an open socialist-communist fool -- said there is no man that can speak to the "corruption" in big party politics like Pat. Of course, Pat participated in it and encouraged it -- in a big way -- with Dick Nixon, Dwayne Andreas and their friends. Now he is running for President so he can get his monkey hands on $15 million of your tax dollars that the Reform Party will get in matching funds from the US government. Snow asked how Pukeanan and the obese Fulani can get along. Neither of them are going to give up their social interests -- but they are not going to run on those issues anyway, Fulani said.
Pukeanan seems to have changed into a partial leftie. He mentioned black and working- class American boys should not have to fight "America's Imperial Wars" any longer.
Well, Go Pat Go, we say on this issue. But where were you during Vietnam? Plotting with Nixon on how to create a meat- grinder for these boys and protecting punks like BushBaby from serving in Saigon!
Pukeanan correctly pointed out that the "new" Democrats have taken the black voter for granted. We agree with that -- that's why we attack the DLC so often. But then he blew it: he said he would sit down with Farrakhan! Fulani then said that Jews have been oppressing blacks for years, and what's wrong with saying that -- because some Algerian psychoanalyst told her that people who have been tortured tend to torture others later. Oh, God! Pukeanan said it is not fair to say that Jews have oppressed people. "I would not associate myself with Lenora's statement." Fighting again! "Dr. Newman, a Jew," should be interviews about this, Fulani said.
Wow! Could Pukeanan have been a better liar? I bet some Jews called him and told him to forget about any long term plans.
By the way, Pukeanan has been physically attacked since his malicious statements supporting Hitler's genius. We have seem some of these tapes with Jews smacking him with signs and placards. Funny that the networks haven't shown these! If you can find them, don't miss them -- they are a riot!
Of course, Snow then turned on Hillary Clinton for "embracing" Mrs. Arafat after Madame Arafat accused Israel of poisoning Arabs and gassing them. Mrs. Clinton, of course, had no idea what the swinish Mme. Arafat was saying, and had to wait a day in to clear what she said with the White House and the State Department -- standard operating procedure. She did not embrace what Mr. Arafat said -- not at all, in fact she stated just the opposite.
Snow had has-been Al D'Amato -- a nobody -- and Geraldine Ferraro -- another nobody -- to comment on this. It was a bore. Giuliani claimed he would have strangled Mrs. Arafat right there on the stage in so many words. And of course, he's a liar as well -- he probably would have tried to have an affair with Yassir's wife!
That idiot from the Washington Post, Juan Williams, said that this means that Hillary Clinton is not the best Democrat candidate based on the polls done after her Israel trip. Williams then claimed that the DNC has moved into New York running soft-money commercials! We guess Juan is now the Colin Powell of the Washington Post. D'Amato chimed in like the weasel he is to say that the FEC will step in and find the DNC party- building commercials illegal.
No such chance, Big Al. By the way, Al, you are the Loser of the Century --and now, your Mafioso power base in Nassau County, New York finally dumped the GOP from its county government, ending the Republican reign of terror on Long Island.
Ferraro thinks the DNC ads were a mistake. We think so too, but the Democrat's own little pathetic punk and moron, Joe Andrew, is running things on Ivy Street now and he hasn't got a clue about much of anything. We've spoken to top financiers of the DNC during the last month and a majority of them have little nice to say about Andrew as a person or a strategist.
D'Amato said that Adolf Giuliani will swamp Mrs. Clinton upstate. Really? If he knows so much, why is he now EX-Senator D'Amato? He lost to the not-so-nice Senator Charles Schumer, who seems to be a personality clone of Bob Torriccelli (or is it "Torri-Surly"?).
Snow then welcomed Weasel of the Century Ken Starr, ostensibly to tell us that the President was wrong to say that he was trying to protect the Constitution when he fought against Hyde, Starr, and the other hypocrite Nazis who tried and failed to lynch him.
The truth is that Starr is appearing a lot these days trying to save his partnership at the law firm of Kirkland & Ellis -- and his reputation, which is lower than Satan's in American polls.
Snow then asks whether Starr thinks that Clinton will be disbarred. We were rolling on the floor at that one! Starr said that the (REPUBLICAN robot) judge -- Susan Webber Wrong -- fined Clinton for some non-crime carrying out her orders from the Reich. Starr does not mention -- nor does Snow -- that Wright is a right- wing fundamentalist judge who has had a personal hatred for Bill Clinton for decades.
Then Snow turned on Gore -- and asked Starr whether the nation should support Gore's comments supporting the President against the Starr lynch mob. Starr referred to GOP mole Diane Feinstein -- who hates his guts - showing what Gore should have said.
Starr then commented on Louis Freeh and Charles LaBella. Freeh wrote a letter to Starr kissing his ass. Starr said that Freeh can fight the Justice Department "pressure." Then Hume said that this is "most politicized" Justice Department in history.
What is this asshole talking about? Janet Reno appointed no fewer than half a dozen independent counsels, including the satanic Starr! Is he saying that the Meese Regime was less politicized?
Then Starr began showing his real hand. He began talking about himself in the third person. He said that he felt Reno should have stepped in and defended his ad hominem attacks on the White House when they instead began "attacks on the Independent Counsel."
Now, anyone who has passed Psych 101 knows that a statement phrased like this is a sure sign of a paranoid schizophrenic mind and one that may be delusional. Starr's own law partners hate his guts -- and hate the fact that he is paid more than a million dollars a year for doing nothing.
Talk then turned to one of the few people whose polling numbers are lower than Starr's: "Ms. [Linda] Tripp is under indictment and faces serious charges and I don't think I can comment on her character," Starr tells Snow -- a man who may himself be arrested and charged for his involvement with Tripp and the tapes. Starr, in tears, did tell Linda Tripp that she was a "great hero and should hang in there."
Well, at least Starr admits that she is perhaps a serious felon along with everyone who involved themselves in the coup to overthrow the President.
Hume, Snow and Williams were joined by Jeff Birnbaum to talk about John McCain -- who we predict will beat the BushBaby hands down in every state in the union. Birnbaum made a fool of himself saying that only one poll has shown that McCain is so close to Bush that it's a real horse race.
We conducted a 5,000- respondent poll last week which showed Bush and McCain neck-and-neck in many states. Similar private polls show Gore closing on Bush in a horse race in many strong states. The press, as usual, doesn't know what they are talking about.
So here's a clue for our readers: NEVER believe anything you read in a newspaper or see on television. And never even bother to consider as fact any item you hear on radio.
Snow continued the onslaught on Hillary. Birnbaum then hit Hillary on Mrs. Arafat's statement, saying that Mrs. Clinton went to Israel to "pander" to Jews in NY state. Williams said she is there as the First Lady and must therefore be denied any opportunity to become involved in an international dispute. Birnbaum was right, however, when he said that Mrs. Clinton should have stayed in Israel and away from the Arafats. Birnbaum, however, has a lightweight mind.
Hillary does need some new advisors. Maybe NaiMoani Wolf is available?
Snow pointed out the GOP is moving toward a giant Congressional spending spree next week, breaking the record. "The era of big government is not over. No one is cutting taxes or spending. Everyone is cutting deals."
A commendable line for a Republican, we'd say!
What else is new?
This Weak
Jock love fest and boys, boys, boys
Sam and Cocky began the show talking about how important the Microsoft monopoly decision was.
"The Cokester's off today," said Sam Donaldson (referring to his co-host, Washington brown-noser Cokie Roberts, and not Shrubya's "connection").
Guest one: aviation specialist John Whoever to discuss the findings from information on EgyptAir Flight 990's flight data recorder. Sam did push for "definitive" speculation on what occurred, and Whoever talked about mechanical problems or "something [that] would have to have scared [the pilots] to death... this [40-degree nosedive] is not something a rational pilot would do."
Of course, the reason the press is covering this story so extensively is that they themselves are convinced that the crash was caused by a "human factor": terrorism, hijacking or a suicidal pilot. All of the major networks are merely setting the stage for further sensationalized coverage of the story.
Sam then introduced a "Bill Bradley spectacular" -- a parade of retired basketball players and Bradley's former coach Bill Jackson, who said that "Bill was schooling himself for just this opportunity."
George Swill, showing disdain for the subject, asked about Bradley making racial tensions an issue. Swill, of course, could not resist mentioning that the NBA is a "showcase for African-American talent" and that the three most popular Americans are Oprah Winfrey, Michael Jordan and General Colin Powell.
According to who, Swill? Are you trying to say that we have reached racial hegemony because the NBA provides some form of "equal" opportunity and some unnamed and no doubt hard-right think tank fed you a few celebrity names? Well, here's one you missed: where's Bill Clinton, who has been called "America's first Black President" by some of America's most celebrated black leaders?
And where did Colin Powell come from? He's popular, yes, but not that popular.
Sam talked about Bill's "character" as a player as some kind of qualification for the White House. "Why didn't he always shoot?" asked Sam of basketball legend Earl Monroe -- as if the fate of the Republic hinged on it. Willis Reed mentioned that Bradley "was just about the last person in the world to wear 'earth shoes.'"
Crikey -- this is what political "public affairs" programming has come to?
Following a break for Merrill Lynch, GE, Sam welcomed retired Gen. Colin Powell (no wonder Will had to work his name in) to discuss the "pressing problems" facing "America's sons." This was part of the build-up to a series of reports to come this week on ABC News programs. Sam talked about fatherlessness and "pointing the finger at the media."
He was righter on the second count -- a media that acts as a biased conduit for "conservative" views and messages that are in the interest of their overwhelmingly Republican owners' and stockholders' portfolios. We have been saying this for years -- and week after week, the pundits prove it for us.
Powell began by saying that "there are a lot of good things" happening among boys -- but "there's something breaking down in the American family... they're not getting values."
Oh, please -- this nation has withstood over two hundred years of bad families and bad parents with less-than-saintly values. Wife-beaters, kid-beaters, alcoholics, neglectful parents, unloving parents have all left scars on kids for nine American generations, and guess what? The country has turned out a lot better than one would expect! Powell was demagoguing in the extreme -- demeaning one-parent families, declaring them some sort of crisis.
Sam then began to beat the tom-tom of school violence, invoking the horrific specters of Columbine gunmen Klebold and Harris. Powell talked about the "graphic violence" in entertainment "carrying a message."
Amazing -- Powell is ignoring the "message" coming the taunting cliques of jocks and "preps" at Columbine were themselves -- and the clear indications that Harris and Klebold were mentally unstable in the first place. Powell blathered about "quality school systems" -- but where is the quality if it stands by and lets the "star" pupils abuse disenfranchised kids because they are "better"?
As for escapist media "violence" -- most people watch it these days so that they can spend ninety minutes forgetting what a mess the Republican Revolution and Contract On America made of our culture and nation, setting people against people, community against community, religion against religion
Powell, whom we had thought might -- just maybe -- be sincere in his efforts to help kids, now sounds like another talking head for such "morals" mavens as Bill Bennett and Pat Robertson.
What a disappointment -- and outright shame.
Spots for "America's Pharmaceutical Corporations" and Xerox preceded a taped interview with Tipper Gore conducted by Cocky Roberts. The topic -- ostensibly boys, but in reality families dealing with mental illness, and "traditional values." Cocky recounted Tipper's personal struggle with depression and campaign to slap warning stickers on "explicit" CDs.
Of course, Tipper played right into the hands of the Record labels who wanted these warning labels made quasi-mandatory in order to encourage the 13-to-18-year-old audience to buy "explicit" discs.
And Tipper played right into Cokie's hand, talking about violence in the media and entertainment -- but said that perhaps this argument is overstated. Cocky said something stupid about "turning boys into girls," showing that she's no Dr. Joyce Brothers. This gave Tipper a chance to talk about "warning signs": no fathers, no male mentors.
Hey Tipper, would you rather live in a one-parent family or a two-parent household with easy access to guns?
Cocky recounted the story of a "liberal" parent suddenly trying to "protect" her sons from R-rated movies and declaring "I'm turning into Tipper Gore." It's more like Cocky turning into Bill Bennett, if you ask us -- the entire segment had a blame-Hollywood, blame-music, blame-single-parents tone to it we nearly lost our breakfast. Tipper talked about Al's support of "father-to-father" networks, to make Al look like a "family values" guy -- but what about families with NO fathers? We know of more than a few -- and the kids turned out OK.
Tipper said that with respect to the behaviors of the sexes, she was still a "feminist," but "confused" in the context of the manner in which one has to raise kids these days. You just know that hard-righters are going to glom onto the remark -- out of context, naturally.
The "roundtable" wasted twenty minutes of our time. Sam started in by bashing Hillary Clinton over her entirely proper handling of comments by Mrs. Yassir Arafat -- the content of which she had no idea of at the time. George Staphylococcus called it a "disaster," and Bill Kristol fired away at Hillary. Will called the PLO a "terrorist organization dressed in lies" and tried to make a lot of Hillary wanting to "replace" Pat Moynihan, whom Will tried to play up as a diplomatic genius -- which, we can tell you based on the views of one Congressional source, he just ain't. Will only supports Moynihan because of his past Clinton bashing.
Of course, none of them dared say that Mrs. Clinton was on a
Sam tried to cast commercials in support of Hillary now running in New York as some sort of scandal. Will said she was "breaking the law" which was an unconstitutional anyway.
But George, she is not running the commercials!
Staphylococcus dissed Hillary for being the "first" to use soft money ad, and Kristol spun it as Hillary being "worried" over a Giuliani "lead" -- a meaningless lead with practically a year until the vote and Hillary still undeclared.
Staph asked if "Hillary could still get out off the race... it's a joyless campaign." But how the hell would he know? Nobody from her campaign would talk to this snide little Judas if their life depended on it.
And joyless? We can tell you for a fact that the media pack is as covertly abusive toward Hillary in their editorial departments and editing rooms as they were overtly abusive of Al Gore in their press room during the New Hampshire debate with Bill Bradley -- yelling, guffawing and bad-mouthing Gore no matter what he did or said. They derive joy from tearing people down -- in this respect they are no better than gossip columnists.
After a break, Sam gleefully brought up the "Monica Lewinsky business" using interview footage that was over a week old -- including Clinton's comment that "I was right to stand and fight." Sam, of course, claimed that the President committed obstruction of justice and perjury "in the name of defending the Constitution." Kristol said that Gore must have been livid, giving Staph a wide opening to talk about the "tension" between Clinton and Gore -- tension which we can tell you is almost entirely created by the media.
Sam: "Is the Constitution strengthened?" Will: "No."
Us: "You don't get it." It is not over -- and members of the media will pay for their attacks with their reputations. Tim Russert passed on a lie as news and then retracting it. Sam sensationalized every lurid rumor he could get his hands on -- and now accepts both sins as "acceptable" conduct.
Oh, by the way: the Constitution is stronger now. Fake impeachments that subvert it are far less likely to happen again -- but quite justified impeachments of corrupt judges are far more likely.
Kristol started to spin Bush: "Few people have seen the real George W. Bush." He predicted that Bush would do well in the forthcoming New Hampshire debate. For once, we think Kristol is 100% wrong -- it will mark the beginning of the end for Bush.
And, naturally, there was no mention of the leaking of Bush's Yale transcript to the press -- a transcript which documents a mediocre-at-best academic record.
This Weak concluded with another big plug for the "America's Sons" news reports.
The McLaugh-In Group
For All His Bellowing, Boring as Usual
Issue One: "Doctor knows best!" United Health Care has decided that doctor knows best and will allow doctors to have the final say on what patients receive. UHC said that the old pre-approval plan where secretaries made the decisions cost United about $100 million. And the clerks agreed with them 90% of the time!
But twice a year, United will issue a report on Doctors' "Care Records." Does this mean "Care Not" records?
Michael Buffoon -- oops! I mean Barone -- who we guess is now an expert on HMOs and trial lawyers, said nothing more.
Tony Blankley, who looks MUCH OLDER in person that he does on the tube, said that HMOs have had a difficult time in Congress and so they are moving to the left.
It was a boring discussion. Punk Journalist Hay Carney of Time said that he was a member of United Health Care.
McLaughlin, who makes money from HMOs, said that the HMOs are a "whipping boy" for the Congress. Clift said the pols on the Hill will kill any changes planned and force a huge confrontation during the election cycle in 2000. How erudite can you get?
McLaughlin wants to know whether this will mean better health care or higher premiums! Higher premiums of course; its a win-win situation for HMOs. A good move.
Some moron in Decatur, Illinois -- a town OWNED by Dwayne Andreas and his ADM corporation -- expelled 6 Black students for fist-fighting where no one was really hurt. The boys were also indicted for "rioting." Blankley said this was justified: they were truants, and are now charged with a felony. Clift said this was too rigid, and not all the students had the same record (one of them had a 3.6 average and was Captain of the basketball team). Clift said that Jesse Jackson should take the compromise on the table. Barone lied, saying that he thought two years was a long time -- then launching into an attack on the kids.
Hey, Barone, here's a fact that may shock you: kids have been fist-fighting in school since the beginning of time.
Carney said there is a great deal of racial tension in Decatur. That's an understatement, we can tell you.
McLaughlin then began his own attack on Hillary Clinton for her trip to Israel -- and the soft money ad campaign the DNC put on in New York last week showing pics of Hillary Clinton and mentioning her name, blaming Hillary for these ads! McLaughlin also attacked Hillary for taking her daughter on the Middle East trip!!!! What a cretin. Barone said that Chelsea Clinton should have been sent alone. Clift said, "Get used to it, John! Presidents and their family get perks."
No one mentioned that Mrs. Clinton did not hear what Mrs. Arafat was saying -- until after the moment was over.
McLaughlin then "boosted" Giuliani by showing him cracking some good jokes on Hillary. Giuliani posed as a "Godfather" and said he was on a listening tour. A new New York State "poll" shows that Giuliani is beating Clinton 48 to 36. Of course, it is the Quinnipiac College poll -- a joke.
Stop and think. What does a poll mean today? Nothing. Nada. It merely shows what the trend is now -- a full year before the campaign has started, and well in advance of anyone having announced for this Senate seat. Those numbers will reverse when Giuliani is caught in the headlights of his own Neofascist programs in New York City -- policies which have marginalized the poor, the mentally ill and the downtrodden in favor of super-rich New Yorkers' "right" to shop on Madison and Fifth Avenues without having to "smell" distasteful beggars.
Predictions: will the Fed increase interest rates next Tuesday? NO by all, but John added that if they do, it won't be more than one quarter of one percent.
Eat the Prezz
A complete waste of our time!
Tim Russert wasted nearly two-thirds of the show talking about EgyptAir 990 and asking retires basketball stars about Bill Bradley -- and getting far less penetrating answers from his gaggle of guests than Sam and Cokie got on This Weak.
Tim essentially "faxed in" both segments -- there was no semblance of spontaneous questioning, just predictable question after predictable question in the former, and a pile of softballs to the basketball players in the latter.
Yawn.
The roundtable was about the only segment we bothered paying attention to. Tim began by attacking Al Gore, quoting the most derogatory, snide "article bites" he could find.
But all this stunt did is remind us of how the "journalist" elite were caught by a couple of moles whooping it up in New Hampshire in an orgy of catcalling and loathing aimed at Al Gore during his debate with Bill Bradley. Russert, one of the leaders of this journalistic pack of hyenas and a promulgator of unvetted rumors concerning the Clintons himself, has absolutely zero credibility quoting other Gore-loathing journalists.
When talk turned to poll numbers on Bush, some female panelist whose name we missed had to mention the "Clinton legacy" -- which inevitably means making a dismal assessment of the Clinton Legacy. Bob Woodward's platitudes about "let's have serious questions in these debates" had us laughing out loud -- because we know that the press corps will be howling, hissing and catcalling no matter what Al Gore says.
Tim tried to make a lot out of poll numbers that claim white women and Jewish voters in New York support Giuliani over Hillary -- we can only wonder how they worded the questions. Then Tim tried to embarrass Hillary by running tape of Mrs. Clinton following protocol with Mrs. Arafat. Joe Klein, whose trashy and trite "anonymous" book Primary Colors garnered much money while demeaning the Clintons, said that Hillary should have slapped Mrs. Arafat.
Someone should bitch-slap lying third-string pundit Klein for his fraud and duplicity in originally denying that he wrote Primary Colors.
Bob Woodward then addressed one Bush issue that is not going away -- the "pop quiz" on world leaders that he failed -- and said that the measure was not pop quizzes but what the candidate has to say.
Thank you, Bob -- because you reminded us that BushBaby has had nothing of substance to say outside of "prosperity with a purpose" and "no comment."
Tim ended by plugging his pathetically low-rated CNBC program featuring guest Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Maybe Tim should make it his regular practice to invite jocks and action movie heroes to Eat the Prezz. We -- and political junkies -- will be less inclined to watch.
The Great Big Missing Issue Again!
Hardly a word was spoken about the struggle between the White House and Congress over the federal budget -- because the GOP is taking it on the chin so badly. Lord knows, the pundits don't want to make their hard-right pals look like the bruised palookas they are, are scared to concede the fact that Bill Clinton has again trounced the sorry lot of bigots and hatemongers known as the GOP Congressional Leadership -- and admit that the majority of Americans support Clinton.
Only CNN Late Edition mentioned a latest "most admired man in America" poll -- 51% said Reagan. 52% said Bush (which one?).
82% named Bill Clinton. Need we say more?
Copyright © 1999, 1998, 1997, 1996, American Politics Journal Publications. All rights reserved. ISSN No. 1523-1690