Pundit Pap for Sunday, December 21st 1997

PUNDIT PAP
For Sunday, December 21st, 1997
by Mac MacArthur

MONDAY, DECEMBER 22nd, 1997 -- PALM BEACH (APJP) -- This week we cover Fox News Sunday, Face the Nation, and Evans & Novak. We also took another look at This Week at the urging of a reader from ABC Television who said some changes were made worth looking at.

There were. George Will was meaner, George Stephanopoulos was more critical of the White House and Cokie Roberts was without Sam Donaldson -- a big improvement. We missed John McLaughlin and Tim Russert because of a technical glitch from NBC which did not allow our coverage.

FOX NEWS SUNDAY

Tony Snow

Tony Snow spent some too much time with the Mayor of Jersey City and an attorney from the ACLU who was against Jersey City's display of crèche and other religious symbols in public, government paid-for areas. Snow seems compulsively fascinated by this issue and has mentioned it for at least three weeks in a row. One wonders whether he's pimping for the Christian Coalition or owes Ralph Reed a few dollars from a losing poker game.

The discussion was the typical ACLU v. The Virtuous. The Mayor was doing well posing as a sensitive guy who wanted to "celebrate" cultural diversity which he claims was not properly done unless a culture's religion was also featured. The ACLU representative pointed out the Constitutional bars and Supreme Court rulings on the issue, but the Mayor seemed to think that the Founding Fathers controlled -- which has become a new thread of "mystery law" conservatives have lately engaged in their defense of other outrageous conduct. But then the Mayor showed his true colors -- a right wing Christian fundamentalist.

At that point we think he lost the audience.

The mayor started quoting Thomas Jefferson and then went into a sermon. The Mayor got upset and said "We must acknowledge that there is a higher power." "No, we don't," said the ACLU. "You were elected Mayor, not "Defender of the Faith."

Snow next turned to Steve Forbes. Forbes claimed, in his canned cocktail sloganesque style, "the Administration and the IMF are guilty of economic malpractice." Thousands of viewers clicked off.

"The alternative is to urge these countries to stabilize their currencies and open up their economies."

Thousands more switched to re-runs of "Barney" on PBS.

Juan Williams told Forbes that people call him the "Anti-Newt" because he criticized Gingrich's budget deal with the White House. It's a monstrosity," said Forbes, "And it hit hundreds of thousands of families with the alternative. minimum. Tax."

Some viewers switched back.

Snow asked Forbes about the trial balloons Gingrich is releasing concerning his own run for the White House and then quoted Ralph Reed who has said that Forbes is prepared to spend $72 million on a presidential big -- nearly $40 million coming from his own family treasury. Forbes simply said he had not made a decision. The entire panel, made of Mara Liasson, Juan Williams and Brit Hume began to hiss and say "Come on, What?" Snow cracked me up when he asked Looney Toon Forbes -- "Do you think the Republicans love you more for your brains... or your money.? Forbes replied, "Heh." "So, the answer then is brains!" Ha, ha, ha, ha. Snow got him.

Tony Snow then brought out the old Secretary of the Army Ms. Lister who went on about the latest panel recommendations re training girls and boys together in basic training camps. Snow also had Rep. Steve Buyer who kept on protesting that he was not critical of women in the military. He sort of engaged in his own sexual fantasy about what young men and women "do" when thrown together in an intimate living situation. "Having distractions is not good," he proclaimed. Congressman Buyer kept fantasizing -- "we'll put 18,19 & 20 year old men and women together and then pretend they won't touch each other." I was waiting for him to suggest video camera surveillance. Lister, no slouch herself said, "I would hope the would touch each other... "She lost me there in fits of laughter. Lister made it worse going on, "we have not given them (drill sergeants) the right training like a "tanker" - I love "tankers" -- he may not know what to do about training women. You can't let them be sick and certain days of the month."

Lister was hot for tank drivers and not hot for menses.

What a train of thought.

Congressman Buyer spat back, "I'm tired of hearing hollow and silly remarks. I found a loss of rigor and warrior spirit." Oh brother. But it was very funny Tony.

Not to accused of being boring himself, Snow treated us to "UNBELIEVABLE"-- FNS's yoke, which this week featured Pete Stark's ridiculous bill barring contracts made between doctors and their naked patients. The bill has not passed, but would apply if the doc was naked as well. Hear that Gonzo?

Snow, up to his tricks again, brought racism to the fore again. This time talking about the President inviting geeks like Ward Connerly to the White House -- to make fools of them. They all bit. Connerly was this week's Spinterpreter victim: "I was afraid he was going to be a jerk and patronize me and anyone who agrees with me. He really likes me....I think," read the write-over.

Hume said something intelligent for the second week in a row: "I think Mara has it right. This was a legitimizing moment for the conservatives. From now on, it will be clearly unfair for the (White House) to label them as against affirmative action." Sure Brit. And with that he got into it with Juan Williams again. Williams said, "You gotta do something to compensate for the fact that people are being excluded from the American dream."

Brit returned fire, "Juan, I really don't think that's fair. I think that racial preferences are morally indefensible. People hate them. And that is not all that is meant for affirmative action."

Gee Brit. I guess you're right. If people HATE things, they must be morally indefensible. I mean people HATE paying taxes don't they?

The spat continued and Snow finally tired of it and moved on. Everyone, the delight of White House spin doctors agreed the President was really cool to have admitted he made a mistake.

Liasson actually implied he had never admitted making a mistake before. Even Hume piped in with, "I think he deserves no small amount of credit on this issue."

The mandatory year-end awards gave the panel the chance to strut their wit, or lack of it.

First; The Marv Albert Backbiting Award

Juan Williams : To Dick Morris -- who said the President has fallen asleep

Mara Liasson: To Dick Gephardt who makes a speech at Harvard and then uses the President to raise money for the DNC.

Brit Hume: The white house for damning Louis Freeh

Next came the Kelly Flynn Flying High and then Crashing Award

Hume: Fred Thompson Mara: Al Gore

Juan: Al Sharpton

Next --The Hot Air Award

The Earl of Spencer,

Larry Lawrence,

and Bill Clinton for his 94 minute press conference.

For Best Politician:

Tony Blair.

Senator Al D'Amato for bringing up his Favorability Scores by beating up on Swiss Banks for Jewish constituents and now introducing a bill which would not allow the expansion of the UN security council without a seat for Italy.

Paul Wellstone for starting a poverty program and talking about poverty. Wellstone is threatening to become a presidential contender someone opined -- sure after Wellstone's people have been broadcasting his interest for the past three months.

Snow ended with some tear-jerker footage of Jackie O, then Jackie K, and Jack Kennedy and the kids at the White House one Christmas along time ago. Snow signed off with a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah weeper.

FACE THE NATION

Bob Schieffer

Bob Schieffer started out with Secretary of Defense Bill Cohen.

The discussion was about the President's admission that he should not have set a deadline for our troops to be withdrawn from Bosnia. Schieffer obviously thought Cohen was a myth monger. He told Cohen that he had it from impeccable sources that Cohen and Madeleine Albright had fought about Bosnia.

Cohen's reply? "I'm the best source you have Bob."

Schieffer was also bothered by the US not pursuing war criminals in Bosnia and Cohen gave the Administration line that it wasn't the job of our people to go "door to door" searching for war criminals. Cohen offered a lot of pap about why when Schieffer pressed him on it.

Obviously Cohen was dancing. A decision has been made not to pursue the war criminals in order to placate the anti-Muslim elements in the region. Cohen and later sandy Berger kept up the same message -- "We used to have 26,000 troops in Bosnia, now we only have 8,500."

Schieffer changed the subject to Saddam. "You really don't believe that Saddam has miscalculated here do you? A great question. But Cohen merely bobbed and weaved admitting Saddam has divided the Security council of the UN on certain matters - but not ones of substance nor the absolute requirement that Ambassador Butler and his UNSCOM inspectors gain access to wherever they wish.

Cohen described some of Saddam's "presidential sites" as bigger than Washington DC in area. Cohen gave some hint that the Russians and the French want to close out some of the "files" on the chemical and bio weapons that UNSCOM is claiming may still be about in Iraq. Cohen was hard pressed to say that Iraq still had these weapons and continued on his -- "We have to know for sure" line which is the current Administration position.

Schieffer then switched to putting men and women together in boot camp. Cohen ducked the question admirably saying he was referring it the chiefs of all the services for a 90 day study period.

Gloria Borger added a refreshing story on Al Gore and the new Clinton dog "Buddy." The President, Gore, Gephardt, staff and everyone met in the Oval Office about Gephardt's anti-Administration speech at Harvard. Everyone "obeyed" except "Buddy who began chewing on a Queen Anne chair. Al Gore got up to give him a bone and said "This is my new job.... "

Schieffer ended: "Finally, 1997 will be remembered for many things but here in Washington I remember that Newt Gingrich pleaded guilty. This has been a year of putting things behind him just like the Vice President on the Buddhist temple, he's putting that behind him - Spinmeisters would have us belief that whatever you've done is just a matter of 'putting it behind us.' Merry Christmas."

EVANS & NOVAK

"Rollie" Evans -- or is it "Rolly" Evans

We covered E&A this week because their guest was the one and only Art Buchwald who spent his time with the two "looking askance"

Here are the best things Buchwald said. What Evans and Novak said was not important.

"... well no one knows who the Republicans are, I would have to waste a lot of time explaining Trent Lott."

"I write more than about just Clinton. I just wrote a piece on scotch tape there would not be a Xmas without scotch tape."

Evans, always a whore for Republicans tried to get Buchwald to attack the President. As a matter of fact, that's all the Twins of Tripe did during the entire interview.

Here's one exchange. Evans - "...lets talk about Huang. People like that have been getting into the White House. You wrote the DNC is trying to find a scapegoat and if I don't get the name soon I'll think it was the president himself. Who came up with he Lincoln bedroom and the coffees?"

"I don't make charges, the only problem with what you just showed was you didn't show the Republicans taking thousands of dollars form their supporters . Now they find that the Republicans took money from the taxpayers to pay for their convention."

"I suggested that the White House put a pay phone in Lafayette park for Al Gore. I don't think that Gore did anything wrong I just think it was cold outside. We have to admit that there is a tremendous amount of Gore bashing. No one has anything else to write about."

Evans- "It's no longer in fashion that a man gets down on his knees and proposes and then sings some enchanted evening."

"...yes, I wrote that, You can fall in love with a woman and then she can sue you six months later. I think a guy can make a pass at a woman and if she thinks he's cute she's flattered and if he's not she can sue him."

Then Evans, in a rush of guilt after using Buchwald to make their nasty charges against Gore and Clinton, said the most inane thing. He said, "Art. You are our Santa Claus!"

Oh Brother.

THIS WEEK

Laugh of the Week -- to Cokie Roberts for exposing Hatch for what he is.

Cokie Roberts began THIS WEEK with Sandy Berger who gave the same "speeches" on Bosnia that Cohen had on Face the Nation. The same question about us apprehending war criminals came up. Berger - "...well it's the parties responsibility under Dayton. If there is an opportunity.... It must be with acceptable risk. It is not the job of the military to go door to door. . . But getting them is important... to break the hold."

A newcomer Linda Douglass who covers the Justice Department for ABC, asked if there was an exit strategy and whether the fighting would just restart no matter when we leave because of the long history of hatred between Serbs and Croats. Berger replied, "I don't accept that war is genetically determined. They've worked together and married each other... in one square there is a temple, a Greek orthodox church, and a mosque. We have to continue what we are doing. We have o continue that. We have to make sure to continue that They have to mature. We have to..."

Berger than invoked Bob Dole, who will accompany the President to Bosnia today: "As Senator Dole said, 'we're in the fourth quarter you don't take the team off the field.' "

Cokie switched subjects: How long does Saddam have, is there a timetable? Berger, being cute answered, "how long does he have, or how long does he have to comply."

Next came a boring choose-off between Senators Biden and Inhofe over keeping the troops in Bosnia for an undetermined period. Inhofe was most interested in scaring Americans that we are not prepared for war. He takes his role as Chairman of the "readiness" committee seriously. "I think no matter when we pull them out they are gonna be warfare And I am the chairman of the readiness sub-committee... these expenditures have made us not ready" "I just believe that compassion begins at home and that our first obligations to DEFEND AMERICA" From who? I wondered.

Inhofe droned on, "I- well pretty soon Joe will have to realize we have decimated our defense system. We are not doing an adequate job of defending America."

That ended the segment.

Next they brought out Bob Squire to defend Al Gore against his statements that he was the role model for Erich Segal's cheap novel, Love Story. Gore is better off not being the subject of a beach novel in the first place. Squire said he was afraid Dan Burton would now begin hearings on the Love Story story.

Cokie Roberts, finally saying something smart, asked why Gore was trying to change his image in the first place. I agree. He's fine the way he is.

Linda Douglass, however, was out to get Gore. Linda - "why does he seem to handle this so clumsily. Why is it when something snarlish like this happens it's done so clumsily. 8 different stories."

Linda - "why is he having such a bad year Is it his advisers such as yourself?"

Squire replied to all this: "He is not trying to be something he isn't. He has always chosen stuff for himself that is tough. Al Gore is at the very front of the political world here's a man who chose arms control, environment, that made you drop you pen George (Will), telecommunications, instead of getting stuck with popular politics of the day.

The THIS WEEK Weekly round table was next following yet another ADM commercial.:

Stephanopoulos - "sometimes his (Gore's) team has been a little tentative.' Now George S. Is attacking the vice president. Of course, he's been told that ABC will not put up with him acting as a defender of the White House, but why does he seem to enjoy bashing Clinton and Gore so much? .

Bill Kristol claimed to know that the most revealing moment was when Gore called Erich Segal and said "here's what he remembers, what really happened" - according to Segal.

Linda Douglass"... well gore is being criticized for not being Clinton and he is not." Which was a good point.

George Will, who must have been ailing from one of his infamous migraines said the meanest thing I think I've ever heard from him - "Al Gore would be a terrific president of a college not a country."

Kristol jabbed at the Administration as well - I'm not sure its been such a good week for Clinton, he had his Castro-like press conference, The situation in Iraq gets worse, and the president spends all his time with his dog."

Pitiful try Bill.

George Will, sniffing - "What will Clinton's legacy be? Clinton has buddy?"

Will engaged in his "lesson of the day" on something about how women can't throw hand grenades 35 yards and are held to a standard of only 25 yards.

Get real George. Women are perfectly capable of aiming missiles. The next war, if there is one, won't be fought with grenades.

But to his credit, Will also crucified Gingrich saying about his presidential bid, ". . it's like the man himself -- half-rational and half delusional ... People hate him."

Kristol, looking like a jerk, tried to defend Newt saying "- his people think he has a chance. I don't think its too early."

There was some more discussion of Gingrich and his very low approval ratings among voters. Most of the panel simply wrote him off as the loser he is. I think Gingrich is just looking for a cushy job. His days in congress are limited and a presidential run -- no matter how embarrassing -- will at least let his spawn say "Hey, my Dad ran for President."

The funniest was left to last. That is moron Senator Orrin Hatch and his latest stunt -- appearing on the Home Shopping Club to push his new CD "MY GOD IS LOVE."

It's pathetic.

Hatch writes the songs and plays accompanying piano (like his hero Nixon). He writes the songs during boring Committee meetings he chairs. Some of the money will go to a favorite charity of Hatch, and the rest will go to him. Hatch even wrote a song for Mother Theresa and Princess Diana.

Isn't that lovely?

Rod Serling. Are you listening?

And that the way it was Sunday, December 21st 1997.