Jeff Koopersmith

A classic APJ  commentary from 1996
Society Dork
About William Safire's "congenital liar" outburst
by Jeff Koopersmith

June, 1996 -- NEW YORK (apj.us) -- Bill Safire is a society dork.

He makes a living sniping at women and prigs.

His claim to fame is looking up silly words in the OED.

He's a smug, arrogant creep who wears black tie to the office.

Recently he took First Lady Hillary Clinton to task. To show you what a silly ass he is, after being fried by his colleagues for virtually calling her a liar with no substantiation (other than that from his GOP chums), Safire had the gall to print a new column reiterating his crude remarks about Hillary.

	Look, Lola. I am rich, bald, boring and like to prey on women -- especially first ladies. What more could you want?

To the right is an official photograph of Safire. What a joke -- especially the eyeglasses in the hand. Poseur! We particularly like the way his hand is wrapped around the arm of the couch, like a pussycat. Will he spring, or merely lick his paws?

Here is the letter I faxed to him and the New York Times the day his first attack piece came out:

William Safire, the Prince of Pronouns, demonstrated his lack of breeding and his obvious bent to pimp for the Republican party, Rush Limbaugh and Newt Gingrich when he labeled Hillary Clinton a congenital liar.

Safire, who surely must have looked up the word congenital, forgot to follow with a peek at the word gentleman in his page-worn Oxford English Dictionary.

Perhaps Safire, a well-worn example of the Peter Principal, looked around and saw Howard Stern making mega-millions on his books while Safire -- a self-proclaimed master of language -- languishes in old age, low book sales and failure to communicate with any but the oldest fossils at the Times or anywhere else in Manhattan. What better way to say, "Hey, I'm still alive!" than to lash out at a woman who, because she is first lady -- and a Southern lady -- must refrain from answering his adolescent mutterings.

Any current examination of the charges against Mrs. Clinton does not reveal this new disease Safire calls "congenital liar" -- which means a born liar, a person who lies because of some genetic predisposition. Safire must feel that Mrs. Clinton's forbearers were also liars or so his comment suggests.

My guess is that if Safire decides he went too far he will, in his following column, whine that his definition of congenital merely pointed to the fact that Hillary must be lying because of genetic defect -- for she has no reason to do so otherwise.

But he won't. People like Safire live in a dream world constructed by sycophants.

The fact is that Safire, who is anything but connected to the current Washington establishment -- on either side of the aisle -- has not even a scintilla of knowledge or evidence about much of anything, let alone wherther or not Hillary Clinton ever lied about anything. Yet, in a reckless and hopefully career-shattering move, he drove President Clinton to threaten to punch the old cad in the nose.

The President, despite his office, should take the first opportunity to do so for two reasons.

First, Safire deserves it.

Second, Bill Clinton's F-scores -- his positive rating from voters -- would soar.

Bill Safire underestimates his few readers and the general public to think he might be cheered for his boorish display of bad taste, lack of grace and disrespect for the White House and women in general. How naive he must be to think these personal attacks on the wife of a sitting President are anything but another example of Republican bigotry and despair as they too sink into the same oblivion waiting for Safire himself.

I suggest that Old Bill Safire apologize to Hillary Clinton and the President, submit his resignation to the Times, and go to where all used up and bitter men retire, the Heritage Foundation.