American Politics Journal -- Keep Talkin', Wayne



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Doc's DIS-patch:
Keep Talkin', Wayne!
by Dave "Doctor" Gonzo

March 17, 2000 -- New York (AmpolNS) -- Politicians, proponents of gun control, and the media are in a loud uproar over recent comments by National Rifle Association Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre.

The fun started Sunday. LaPierre was a guest on ABC's ghastly Sunday political chat show This Week. In response to President Clinton's latest attempt to revive legislation that would put limited control on some guns (tokeep kids from being murdered in schools among other things), LaPierre claimed that the President is "willing to accept a certain level of killing to further his political agenda." His comments visibly shocked two of the most notorious Clinton-hating pundits, Cokie Roberts and Sam Donaldson (you can catch our coverage of LaPierre's appearance in Pundit Pap).

Wednesday, LaPierre was back on ABC News. When a correspondent asked LaPierre about Clinton's suggestion that LaPierre "look into the eyes" of parents who have lost children to gun violence, LaPierre angrily retorted, "Has he looked into the eyes of Ricky Byrdsong's family? Because that blood is on his hands."

Ricky Byrdsong was the college basketball coach murdered by a man who had been prevented from buying a gun at a gun show -- but managed to score one from an unlicensed dealer. LaPierre seemed oblivious to the rather well-known fact that Clinton has been trying his level best to close gun law loopholes -- and stop unlicensed dealers from selling guns.

As a result of his verbal volleys at Clinton, LaPierre unleashed an opinion frenzy among the pundit elite. We over at American Politics Journal are truly enjoying this latest dust-up between the President and the most powerful "pro-gun" organization in the world.

In fact, we just can't get enough of this LaPierre guy!

The Doc says keep talkin', Wayne! We love what your trash mouth antics are doing!

First, your foolish comments serve to call attention to the fact that you and your colleagues at the highest echelon of the NRA are extremists, pure and simple.

Second, it highlights that crucial NRA "agenda" -- so-called "gun rights" at the expense of the public safety, especially that of children. And speaking of your organization's bizarre, convoluted interpretation of the "right to bear arms," don't you find it funny that you don't dare use the specious "definition" of the Second Amendment with which you hoodwink NRA members into forking over their dues in front of the Supreme Court?

Gee, why's that, Wayne? Could it be that the highest court in the land -- despite being run by a gaggle of hard-right judicial activists -- finds your definition of the Second Amendment's so-called "guarantee" of a "right to bear arms" so ridiculous that even Clarence "Long Dong" Thomas and Tony "Big Surly" Scalia are likely to laugh it out of Washington?

But I digress.

Third, it calls attention to the huge wheelbarrows of cash that gun companies pour into NRA coffers in an attempt to keep that "seller's market" viable.

Fourth, it makes you look like a self-serving clown following on today's news that Smith & Wesson, the largest gun maker in the nation, has reached an agreement with the Clinton Administration on new steps to make guns safer -- in an effort to avoid devastating class-action suits already being brought by municipalities.

Fifth, it makes you and your "three million" members political dioxin. Even George "Bob Jones" Bush knows you're toxic: yesterday, the presumptive GOP presidential nominee said, "What they said about the president, I don't think, is right ...I thought they were wrong in saying the president condones killing." To his credit, Bush is following in his daddy's footsteps on this one point: Bush Sr. resigned from the NRA five years ago to protest comments in an NRA fundraising document calling agents of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms "jackbooted thugs."

Yep, the guy may not be a rocket scientist, but he knows a cesspool when he sees one!

So keep on talkin', Wayne, my man -- but remember to open wide.

Six million feet take up an awful lot of room in your mouth. Hmmm... maybe "Charlatan" Heston can spare some room in his.

'Nuff said.

Click here to read more of Dave "Doctor" Gonzo's articles in American Politics Journal.