Nice Pants!
Internet Gossip Maven Can't Get His Mind Off Democrat Trousers
by Dave "Doctor" Gonzo

Now, it seems, the two most talked-about "news" items emanating from the right wing's Sultan of Sleaze reveal in lurid detail his underlying passion: the trousers of elected Democrats.

Last week, Drudge made much of the Rolling Stone cover featuring our next president, Al Gore, and the "air-brushing" of a certain area of Gore's khakis to compensate for a common problem: "tenting."  Any idiot in the press or magazine publishing industry will tell you that this was not the first time that a national magazine has had to "tone down" trousers -- especially the khaki-wearing guys.

Drudge, on the other hand, deems it "newsworthy" so that he can "talk trou."  As one of our readers pointed out, 'he's obsessed with Gore's 'non-erection erection.'"

This week, His Omelette-ness ran the screaming headline on his home page: "NEW CLINTON PHOTO CAUSES STIR."

Well, maybe for Matt Drudge and a few members of the Clinton-hating "kargo kult."

The photo, from the December issue of Esquire, is of a smiling POTUS sitting on a stool in a position not uncommon for guys seated without the benefit of anything supporting their backs: with his legs a little apart.

In the accompanying and unintentionally hilarious commentary, Drudge writes, "'The best way to describe it is to say that it is "Monica's View,"' declared one media heavyweight on Friday from New York City."

You've just got to laugh.  The Doc can only conclude that Drudge is not only envious of Miss Lewinsky but is going to be heartbroken when that view -- and, let's face it, the man who made Drudge, President Clinton -- is gone from the White House.

If it's any consolation, Matt, you'll have Al Gore's airbrushed crotch to fantasize about for the next eight years.

'Nuff said!