Sunday, October 29, 2000 -- NEW YORK/WASHINGTON (AmpolNS) -- Our New York staff had been hoping for a seven-game "Subway Series" -- not so much because we're sports fans (most of the staff are not), but because the antics surrounding the event were sure to drown out the snide, petty bickering that passes for political reporting and advertising these days.

Unfortunately, the series lasted only five games.  The good news -- the team from New York lost!

So, with the Presidential race a squeaker, with Rick Lazio lying about Hillary, and with John "bought by the GOP" Zogby now showing Lazio in the lead (come to think of it, two years ago he predicted a D'Amato win), we began our perusal of the Sabbath Gasbags in our own "Beltway Series."

Here's what they spun:

FAUX News Sunday
Tony Snow hits it out of the park -- but then, FAUX News is out in right field anyway...

"Gore and Bush accuse each other of playing dirty -- but this is war, isn't it?" said Tony Snow at the top of FNS.

Well, yeah, Tony, but is that any reason for Bush to constantly LIE about Gore?

Guest one: Karl Rove, whom Tony asked about Bush's plan to bankrupt Social Security.  All Rove could do was deny it, and mention the right-wing Wall Street Journal.  Rove pushed "individual accounts" which would give BILLIONS to Wall Street.  Tony said that Bob Ball, former Social Security commissioner, said Gore's criticism "did not add up."  Rove talked about surpluses (supposedly) needed to pay current SS beneficiaries -- "there's more than enough money... to move to personal accounts."

That's the BIG LIE, folks.

Rove accused Gore of signing IOUs.  Bob Shrum interceded, saying that the WSJ analysis shot down Bush, and that Gore plans to fix the need for a surplus.  Shrum then shot down a couple more LIES -- Rove's "IOUs" are in fact Government Bonds with a guaranteed return of interest.  Shrum then said that Bush's promise of ONE trillion to TWO different age groups "pit generation against generation."   Rove looked peeved and unnerved, and could only repeat his pap about a misleading spin on a WSJ analysis.  Shrum SAID "Karl Rove is being deceptive... the Wall Street Journal editorial page is a PROPAGANDA page!"

Wow -- we doubt Bob "Truth to Power" Shrum will ever be invited back -- he made Rove look that bad!

For a minute it was like The McLaugh-In Group -- Rove trying to interrupt Shrum saying that Shrum was "insulting" WSJ, Shrum firing back, both hollering over each other -- but Shrum looked like he was enjoying it, Rove looked uncomfortable.

Talk turned to negative phone calls in Michigan, one from a lady talking about her husband who died in a nursing home.  Shrum fired away at Bush, saying that Houston is the most polluted city in the country, and Tony quoted EPA stats that claim LA is the most polluted.  Shrum said Houston is the smoggiest city, Texas is the most polluted state.  Rove ADMITTED Texas has a big pollution problem, then tried to claim that an 11% reduction (not much, really) -- then claimed that Bush was HELPING nursing homes and was not responsible for the nursing home death.  Rove tried to inject Gore being responsible for 2500 nursing home deaths -- and Shrum said Bush sided with nursing home owners, not patients -- and Texas is 50th in health care for kids.  Rove looked a little out of breath -- he was having trouble keeping up with Shrum's broadsides, trying to address EVERY one of them.

"Does Al Gore still believe that Bill Clinton is one of the greatest presidents in history?"  Shrum said look at the record. So why, Tony asked, is Clinton not campaigning?  Shrum said that Al Gore is his own man and has his own message -- and is not worried that Clinton is a liability.  Rove said Gore had not mentioned Clinton once in the debates -- which is, face it, a tacit admission that Gore is his own man -- then said that Gore is afraid of having Clinton on stage.  Shrum tweaked Rove about GOPers running against -- Bill Clinton!

Tony then asked why Gore's face is not being seen in any of his ads -- and Shrum said Gore IS being featured in his ads.  Rove said all they're doing is attacking Bush -- which, we would point out, is a good strategy.

Next up: Sen. Don Nickles vs. Sen. Tom Daschle!  Tony made much of Clinton having said the budget "was being held up by right wing extremists."  Nickles gave a boring response ending with "if he wants a confrontation, he'll have it," then talked about tax cuts.  Will Daschle sign off on a tax cut?  Daschle said yes -- and that the current session was the shortest in 50 years and suddenly the workload has caught up with the Senate.  "We can finish this work this week... we're getting closer."  Brit Hume said to Nickles that the GOP is the big spender!  All Nickles could do was whine about the "goalpost... moving."  For the second time, Nickles talked about "giving local schools flexibility."  Daschle said the issue was providing for school construction -- but interest rate relief must be an element of construction.  Nickles LIED, implying that there was no flexibility on how federal money could be spent -- Daschle blasted the lie out of the water.  Nickles went desperate -- actually trying to tie school construction to some sort of giveaway to labor.

Tony then quoted the President, saying that the GOP never apologized for impeachment.  Nickles LIED -- saying that Clinton lied under oath.

REALLY, Don?  DID HE?  Can you QUOTE the EXACT lie Clinton made under oath?  It WAS on videotape, after all.

Nickles even said Clinton committed perjury.  Yeah, prove it.

Daschle wants to put the entire thing behind Congress. What a wussie!  He should have asked Brit Hume for an apology for passing on lies from an Internet gossip columnist as truths -- and an apology from Nickles for claiming the President committed perjury when he clearly didn't.

Nickles then LIED about Gore's so-called "lies."  Daschle should have debunked Nickles' claim about Gore -- instead, he said Bush has to account for untruths himself.

Tony asked about the death of Mel Carnahan -- will Mrs. Carnahan run?  There was a little insubstantial back-and-forth, and Daschle brought up the possibility of a court fight, but said nobody will know until Mrs. Carnahan announces her intentions tomorrow.

Following the break: poll talk.  Tony went over some FAUX O-spin-ion Dynamics numbers.  Hume said Bush was ahead in all the polls -- Mara said that likeability and "gut feeling" issues give Bush an advantage.  Hume said size of government iss giving Bush a bulge in some areas. Juan said that Gore wins on education, drugs and Social security -- then deflated Hume by saying all polls were within the margin of error.  Mara said generally Republicans have a better turnout.

Should the President campaign? FAUX O-spin-ion Dynamics say no -- and Tony claimed that's what the Gore people say too.  Hume echoed it.

Huh?  Are these bozos kidding?  Clinton is Elvis --the King of politics.  If he campaigns, Gore wins.  Period.  Gore's team has one last chance to wheel out The King this very week -- and smash Bush Baby's hopes once and for all.

Then Tony showed the notorious Esquire cover.  Hume said Clinton looked like W. C. Fields.  Juan brought up the issue of Lewinsky -- and said the Bush people WISH the election were about it.  Mara blabbed the Bush campaign line, "Restore honor and dignity."  Hume acted as Karl Rove, saying that Bush never mentions Lewinsky, impeachment, scandals.

Yeah, right.  "Restore honor and dignity."  What ELSE could he be talking about?  Funeral homes?  Grandfathering polluters?

Following the break, Mara claimed that Bush has presented himself as a democrat on some issues!  Please -- Tony -- make her stop!  We were laughing hard -- it almost hurt.  Hume again pitched for Bush, talking about tax breaks across the board and privatizing social security, practically praising Dubya.  Mara said that voters are not aware that Bush is pro-life (read: "Anti-choice").  Juan said that he's afraid to talk about it.  Tony then said the FIRST really dumb thing he's said all year -- that Bush wants to change hearts before he changes the law.  Now, Tony knows this is a lie -- that Bush wants to load the Supreme Court with more Fat Tony Scalias and Slappy Thomases.

Tony turned the talk to ad strategy -- and the "Daisy" ad that appeared briefly this week, a remake of an anti-Goldwater ad.  Tony showed a segment of the ad -- but CUT the part where the producers lie and say that Clinton sold out to China!  Hume said that it got more exposure just now than it did when it ran -- then lied and said it was a "media story."  Juan said the Bush people told the producers to take it off the air.

None of them addressed claims that Newt Gingrich was one of the parties behind the ads.

Then Tony ran part of an NAACP ad that blasts Bush for not supporting strong hate-crimes legislation in Texas, Juan blasted the NAACP for running a "scare ad."

Oh, please, Juan -- the ad makes a strong point about Bush's own not-so-soft bigotry.

Hume deflected, claiming that the "Daisy" remake drew attention from the NAACP ad -- then predicted that Bush would go positive and Gore negative.  Hume then lied when he implied he'd be surprised to see Gore's face in any TV ads.

Tony and Hume were correct when they said the GOP base was "stirred up."

Tony's final word was mostly on the mark -- he's fired up about the election and it's political journalist heaven!  Tony sound psyched -- we think he secretly wants Gore to win so he'll have a nice big target for the next eight years!

The McLaugh-In Group
Fielding a team of psychotics in need of shock therapy

Issue one was a LIE!  Pope John McLaugh-In claimed that Bush has Gore on the defensive as a big-spending liberal and has drawn blood, and that Gore has helped him by criticizing big business, which 40% of Americans own. John claimed that Gore will do anything to be President -- and that Gore was lying when he said that he would not increase the headcount when he wants to add programs.

Was this a paid political ad by GE?  We say YES!

Michael Barone said Gore is trying to line up old-school Democrats behind him and that "people" have taken a second look at all of Gore's programs.  Eleanor Clift said that Gore was late to respond to the "big government champion" critique -- and that Bush spends more than Dukakis and Mondale combined.  John ADMITTED that Gore is a DLC centerist.  Tony Blankley said that Bush has taken advantage of Gore's weak responses (hint to the Gore team -- he's right).  Larry O'Donnell said Dems don't think he's liberal enough -- and that Clinton was more CONSERVATIVE than Reagan, which Nader is using as his issue.

The Pope then put up phonied-up poll numbers that "prove" Clinton as a campaigner would be a liability to the Gore campaign.  Tony claimed that Gore is claiming that he's publicly distancing himself from Clinton while getting Clinton to campaign in urban areas.  Tony is mostly right -- and gives the lie to all the talking heads who claim there is real "distancing."  Larry said Jesse Jackson used to get out the black vote -- implying he does not do so anymore.  John LIED unconvincingly, claiming that the Gore people "LOOOATHE the idea" of Clinton campaigning.

Now, catch this PHONY question: "Did Gore shift too far to the left to compensate for the Nader surge?"  Has Gore shifted to the left in the first place?  We don't see much of a shift if any -- and John's implication that Nader's a leftist is not true either!  Here's the panel's opinion... 
Barone: Yes.
Eleanor: Nader is petulant.
Tony: Yes.
Larry: It's a fake move to the left.
Pope: Gore is inflaming class warfare.

Score one point to Eleanor, half a point to Larry (for a half-truth).

Issue two -- Gore-Chernomyrdin Pact!  John tried to create a "scandal" by claiming that Gore and Chernomyrdin made a deal which compromised national security!

John did this for two reasons -- first, lie about Gore to hurt his political chances, and second, to make people demand more of those zillion-dollar GE devices that defend America from those wily Russkies!

GE -- they bring good things to the Dumbya campaign!  Were it not for Eleanor, this would be a 30-minute ad for the Bush campaign.

What does this tell us about Gore's foreign policy experience?  Tony said that Gore showed poor judgment in keeping secrets from Congress.  John flogged Iran as a bad guy that might block the Persian Gulf.  John accused Gore of causing the Cole disaster by setting up a diversion of the Cole from Bahrain to Yemen.  Eleanor said that Russia never held up their part of the bargain -- and that Reagan sold arms to Iran, a terrorist state. Tony tried dissing Lieberman over a claim he made about submarines.  Barone said that this "proves" that Gore's not a good strategic thinker.  John brought up his good friend Slobodan Milosevic!  Larry said Gore's deals were good.  Eleanor called John's whole segment "red-baiting."

Then John turned to a DIA defense analyst who resigned when his warnings of an imminent terrorist attack went unheeded.  John did NOT mention that the DIA gets hundreds of warnings -- but Barone did!  Eleanor said Michael was right.  Tony said that Barone was right BUT there should have been concern.  Larry said Barone was right.

Then -- John shouted "Wag the dog!" and implied that Clinton might retaliate against Osama bin Laden -- even without "proof" that bin Laden was behind the Cole.  John brought up the Lewinsky scandal -- and an attack days after the scandal broke when the US struck an Afghan base of bin Laden's and what John claimed was a mistaken strike on a Sudanese pharma plant.

Hilarious -- given that the press has spun TERRORIST claims the Sudanese plant was a drug plant while ignoring evidence that it WAS owned by bin Laden interests and appeared to be gearing up to make chemical weapons!

Final prediction: who will be the next Senator from New York?
Barone: Lazio.
Eleanor: Hillary.
Tony: Clinton, "but Lazio could pull it off with a late surge."
Larry: Hillary.
John: Too close to call.

Defeat the Press
Russert baits Lieberman with Farra-Con, fouls out

First up on Defeat the Press was veep candidate Joe Lieberman.

Naturally, Russert read a nasty editorial from The Washington Post: "Where is the old Joe Lieberman?" -- which focused specifically on his supposedly lauding Louis Farra-Con, who said the Jewish faith is a gutter religion.

Lieberman said that this was a shockingly irresponsible and false editorial.

Well, of course it is -- anyone with half a critical mind who has read it knows that! The Washington Post is one of the sleaziest newspapers in the nation -- notorious for inaccuracy and most hateful toward anyone who has or had anything to do with the Clinton Administration. In a town packed with insipid, self-centered writers and talking heads and pundits who know nothing about what they say, the Washington Post leads the way in both non-journalism and cruelty to everyone it attacks -- including, we would point out, Chelsea Clinton, the innocent daughter of Bill and Hillary Clinton.

If you've read that book by the all-too-celebrated matriarch of the Post, you realize that she is nothing more than an over-rich, shallow old cow who celebrates her supposed intellect in a mansion fit for a Sheik. If she actually did have half a brain, she'd realize the damage her rag has done to our nation and down a bottle of Seconal at the first opportunity. Under her watch, The Washington Post has become a media piranha, a lying yellow rag, and the home base for some of this nation's best liars.

And that includes the biggest liar of all, the arrogant Bob Woodward. Don't be fooled by his reputation -- he is King of Liars, a man who made his reputation on the mistakes of Richard Nixon and the misery of his family. And how? By doing nothing but reporting a combination of others' lies and truths (he did not know which was which) whispered by the so-called "Deep Throat" -- we think it was Henry Kissinger who practically dictated his reports.

After that joke, "Woodwork" (hate to break your bubble) went on to write other fiction about national politics and national politicians -- including scathing attack-novellas and lies about Bill and Hillary Clinton.

The fact is that no one in Washington -- except other sinister underminers of our nation, its Constitution and its leaders -- would talk to him in the first place. He is persona non grata by truthful men and women, elected or not, on both sides of the aisle -- who regard fiction writers like him as a plague on our nation.

Russert then began to attack Lieberman, using other people's words, on every program Gore and Lieberman stand for. Russert had the gall to ask Lieberman about "his" and Gore's Social Security plan. Russert, a moron, quoted the New York Time's UNTRUE claim that the White House and Congress are spending 40% of the surplus right now. This is, naturally, a lie: Congress is spending a lot, as they always do in an election year, but not on programs for the people -- they are pumping up pork programs for their corporate backers. Problem is, Bill Clinton asked Congress to spend funds on people -- and not DOW and NASDAQ symbol.

Russert -- like every other Republican with access to a television camera -- LIED "Big time" about the NAACP commercial featuring a relative of James Bird talking about Bush's refusal to sign into law a statute that would make dragging a "nigra" behind a truck a hate Crime. Russert said that Bob Kerrey said that the commercial was horrible and should be pulled.

THE TRUTH IS that RUSSERT, last week, harped on Kerry until he SOUNDED as if he agreed with Russert's statement. The Bird commercial said that Bush Baby's failure to sign REAL Texas hate crime legislation was like her father being murdered all over again.

Russert led the attack on this NAACP-sponsored ad last week and the middle of the week before. Why? Is it so hard to believe that when your father is dragged behind a pickup truck over dirt roads until his body flies apart in hundred of pieces that you are traumatized? And what is this crap, Tim? In Texas, George W. has made HATE an acceptable method of living by allowing people to carry concealed weapons (save criminals) so they can shoot each other at will.

Tim Russert has become such a piece of crap, such a creature, such a miscreant that we suspect many frustrated viewers might want to drag the blubbery, blustering pundit behind a truck. Unfortunately, he is so heavily naturally padded and so massive that he'd probably inflict more damage than he'd receive -- that is, if you could find a truck powerful enough to drag his butt!

Russert then dredged out his polls. In every battleground state GORE is leading -- despite that swine Ralph "Not Green on Paper" Nader taking 4-7 percent of his vote. Ha, ha, ha, ha -- then Tim sat with sellout David Broder to say that the race is "so close" that they have to figure out "the old way." Whatever that is.

Gwen Ifill said that Democrats are terrified and Republicans are jubilant.

Don't believe the hype. The FACT is that the GOP leadership are terrified -- scared to death that they will lose.

She added that Democrats are shocked -- that's true, they're shocked that a punk crook like Bush could poll even 30%. But that's about it.

When voters go to the polls, they will think twice about pulling the lever for the Prince of Texas.

Russert asked Broder if Nader is going to be a factor in this race. Broder said -- no doubt.

Nader, a phony from the word go, who sits around in his Connecticut mansion clipping coupons -- corporate coupons from a monopoly called Cisco Systems. Nader could deliver this election to the BushBrat -- and if he does, he will become one of the most hated "progressives" in the nation. The Green Party -- my butt! When Nader registered for matching funds, he didn't give any party affiliation!

Tim said to David Maraniss, "You have studied and written wonderfully about Bill Clinton." Oh, brother. Maraniss -- or, as we call him Mare Anus, decided to write a new book on Gore -- saying that Gore was the powerful vice president in modern times and does not want Clinton around. Mare Anus said that Gore made a mistake a couple of years ago (whatever that was).

Broder said that Clinton should not go out and campaign with Gore because he is a better campaigner, and therefore diminishes Gore.

That is what the morons think at the Gore campaign. But they are wrong. Dead wrong.

LOOK AT THE NUMBERS, MORONS: CLINTON -- loved by 70% of America. GORE -- hated by 40% of America. No one cares about Clinton's sex life and Bush's "appeal" is that he is a drunk, a drug addict and a womanizer. American's love a bad boy. LEARN THAT, GORE, AND YOU WILL WIN.

Russert quoted Clinton, who said that unlike the GOP he apologized for what he did -- but the GOP did not.

But of course -- everything they did was for power.

Russert wondered if this complicates Gores race.

Sure it does, Tim -- everyone reads Esquire. NOT.

The usually erudite conservative Bill Kristol got it wrong when he said that Gore was only ahead when he picked Lieberman -- a Clinton chastiser.

Broder called Clinton's interview with Esquire "ridiculous."

Why? Because Bill Clinton would love to spit on the obnoxious Broder and his punk son.

Why do you think that GOP wants Clinton to stay out, asked Tim. Even Kristol -- who knows better, we assure you -- was saying, "Keep Clinton out" this weekend.

GORE SHOULD SEND HIM IN -- ALL OVER THE COUNTRY.

Clinton should speak at rally after rally in key swing states, urging the electorate to send a message to the GOP about everything they have done for the last six years -- from the Contract ON America to Soviet-style sex scandal claims to a trumped up. criminally fabricated "impeachment" -- and vote for GORE.

Russert, who is now a not-so-stealth racist, sneered about Gore appearing on the Queen Latifah Show -- a program that black Americans and women happen to like very much. Broder foolishly said that Latifah is ridiculous. Russert then insulted Rosie O'Donnell, Jay Leno (his own network's king of talk) and David Letterman. Only Maraniss said that Latifah and shows like this might do the trick for Gore.

Kristol suggested the panel look at the polls -- Gore was substantive and his numbers went up, but "now he isn't." Huh? This after Russert's polls show him ahead of Bush in all but 2 battleground states? Russert included Tennessee because Bush is leading there. Well, of course he is -- can you say "hillbillies?"

Russert showed the stupid GOP effort at imitating the "Daisy" commercial, a remake of a legendary spot run by the LBJ Campaign against psycho Barry Goldwater.

Gwen Ifill sneered that Gore did not ask the NAACP to stop running the Bird ad.

That was unbelievable -- a black woman who knows that the NAACP ad is filled with truth.

Here's the truth: that commercial should be picked up and funded to the tune of $20 million by the DNC -- and shown non-stop across the nation three days out.

Russert interpreted this as Ifill saying, "Win nasty if that what it takes." Mare Anus said that Gore is the kind of man who must win at all costs -- he does not know how to "frame himself."

Ha, ha, ha -- better not to know how to frame oneself than not to know how to construct a coherent sentence without butchering the English language. "Is" our pundits learning? Don't count on it!

Kristol said that BushBaby is going to give a speech tomorrow that said that Gore is peddling fear.

"Gore said he needs a clear issue message" -- but focus groups tell us that no one cares about that or most of the issues of this race.

Readers, the truth is that this, like most presidential elections, is a beauty contest. Who would you like to have a drink with? Who would you like to sleep with? Who would you like to play golf -- or chess with? That's what it boils down to.

Thank God that Debbie Stabenow, according to even the polls quoted by Tim, is beating that pig in the senate race in Michigan this week.

Russert claimed that Hillary Clinton is losing in New York -- but this is a lie. Every professional in the business we know, Republican or Democrat, has already accepted the fact that Clinton will win. Lazio will not -- he does not have a chance.

Russert the liar will do almost anything to make certain that Hillary Clinton loses -- but in the end, Russert is the real loser in American politics. He has sold his journalistic soul, even though he never was a real journalist in the first place, to General Electric, Archer Daniels Midland and the pharmaceutical companies which keep him in luxury cars, big houses, vacations, vacation homes and private schools for his kids.

Mare Anus said that Clinton's biggest problem -- if Hillary and Al lose in New York, that is "where [Clinton] will live." Ha, ha, ha, ha -- good one.

Our final word on Defeat the Press: "Watch for Gore to begin climbing in the polls over the next week and win at least 39 states on Election Day. Then watch for Tim Russert to get the ax within a few weeks thereafter." -- Mac MacArthur, Austin, Texas

This Weak
Weak host, weaker guests.

This Weak started out with Cokie "Cocky" Boggs Roberts and her first guest: Joe Lieberman. She asked whether Lieberman thinks that George Bush is up to being President of the United States. Lieberman hemmed and hawed -- and then said that based on his Texas record and his plans he is not ready to be President of the United States.

Well that's an understatement. Bush is an alcoholic, drug-sniffing MORON, Joe.

Cocky pushed him to comment on Bush's competence that the Democrat's surrogates are attacking now. He refused

The wimp!

Cocky then attacked Lieberman, using Ralph "It's Not Easy Being a Fake Green" Nader, calling Joe a corporate puppet, insurance whore and pharma slut.

"Ralph and I are old friends." Oh, God, Lieberman, why not just say he is a liar? Nader IS a liar!

Lieberman made an effort to appeal to those who are considering voting for Nader.

Cocky attacked Lieberman again -- saying, "You say you are an independent Democrat..." but would have supported Bork and voted to confirm him. Lieberman pointed out that Bork was his neighbor and his law professor. He said he doesn't remember saying that he would have confirmed him -- but Cocky forgot to point out that Lieberman was NOT IN THE SENATE when this comment was supposedly made!

Cocky said that Lieberman will vote with the GOP in the Senate -- so why is that so different from people voting for NADER? What a stupid question! Cocky was obviously in a nasty mood. And Lieberman was such a wussie! What a loser. We have grown to hate him --and hope that Gore marginalizes him at the White House.

Cocky asked what would happen if the Senate is split? Cocky then showed an ad that Lieberman had run years ago against Lowell Weicker, concerning Weicker's poor Senate attendance -- Cocky had to say that Lieberman has not shown up in the Senate since he got the nomination.

Here's the truth: Lieberman's attendance record was close to 100%. Cocky was such a one-sided Bush whore -- did she ask Bush why he hasn't been in Austin. What was going on here? Did her husband Steve, who is a Bush pimp, threaten her?

Cocky asked whether Clinton will help or hurt this week. Lieberman said Clinton will help -- but the fact is that Clinton's name is not on the ballot and that WE BETTER REFLECT AMERICA'S VALUES! What a joke!. Well, we hate to tell you, Joe -- but Clinton has a 70% rating. What is yours?

Next up was Sam "Scam" Donaldson interviewing the asinine Ralph Nader, talking about our Corporate Government. He attacked Lieberman! After Lieberman was good to him. What a putz! Scam pointed out that Gore could win easily if Nader were not on the ticket. Nader said he is running to "establish" a progressive political reform movement.

Sure. He is nothing but an arrogant do-nothing.

Scam showed a commercial run by a pro-choice group that opposes him. Nader said this is a scare tactic because two other right wing judges could have undone Roe v. Wade. Do you believe it? Nader rationalizes everything. He said that Thomas the moron and Scalia the Neo-Nazi were "put in by the Democrats." Right -- like GOPers are not at all responsible for the two worst justices on the Court.

Nader is really angry because big business is running the country and he quotes Business Week as agreeing with him.

Scam read statements made by the leading environmental groups challenging Nader's statements about Gore's environmentalism. Nader made up some bullshit about three idiots -- including Barry Commoner -- that do not support Gore. "Will he fight for any of these things?"

There is a difference between what politicians say and do -- something you have capitalized on, Sam, for your entire career.

Scam was now getting peeved. Nader pointed out that neither Gore nor Bush will make decisions on anything they are talking about. Here he is right, because the truth is that AARP will make the decisions on Social Security -- corporations will make the decisions on taxes and schools.

But the problem with Nader is that he thinks something called "the people" should run the country.

Well, have you see the nation, Nader -- or do you simply curl up with your ugly hag girlfriend -- who now runs YOUR corporation -- and ignore the fact that the average American is an ill-educated, uncouth, sex-obsessed, greed-minded slob?

Yes, we hate to say it -- but this is the truth.

And Nader wants these trailer-park denizens to ruin the greatest society this planet has witnessed?

Hey, despite all their faults and their own greed, we'd choose the MBAs who at least are smart enough to know how far they can push America before it drags THEM behind a pickup truck.

And that's the way it is, Ralph, you pseudo-adult. You look like an acne-scarred teenage-minded idiot, and show all the political sophistication of one. Why not return to your freshman dorm and have a demonstration against cancer drugs? You haven't done ONE thing for this country since you killed off the Corvairs and made us wear seatbelts. Where were you on all the other dangerous autos, where were you on alcohol that kills so many?

You -- even more than Bush or Gore -- are truly the BIG GOVERNMENT candidate. The one who trusts Bobby-Joe Schlock -- a guy with a fourth-grade education living in a filthy trailer park next to Linda Tripp -- to decide what to do about the security, financial and otherwise, of the United States. Are you joking? It is you who are a traitor to this nation and its businesses who educated you, coddled you, bought your lying books and allowed you to waltz around without being dragged by a truck yourself! It's you, Nader -- a liar who knows he is lying. All you want to do is run yet another elitist government staffed by losers who haven't been able to change a thing in the last thirty years because instead of getting into the system and changing it, they preferred to smoke pot and throw stones from their verandas on the Connecticut River. You, Ralph Nader are a fraud -- pure and simple.

Next, Trent Lott refused to apologize to the nation for the lynching of the President, a process over which he presided and, of course, lost because it was a sham.

Lott said it is Clinton who should apologize -- over and over and over again. It was just a laugh-riot. Lott, you are worse than scum. Of course you cannot come clean, can you? Because if your did, you would end up in federal prison along with the rest of your party for reducing the Constitution to the piece of trash that you regard it as -- even as you say it is so important. You are sickening excuse for a human being -- let alone a legislator.

Lott looked disgruntled. He knows he is losing, his party is losing, now he is talking about BLANKET AMNESTY for illegal aliens -- as if such a thing exists. He claimed that Clinton is trying to give blanket immunity to illegal aliens. What a joke -- and this is the "reason" he may shut down the government.

George W. said Lott will not have this kind of atmosphere next year. Cocky replied sure -- if you have a majority in the House and Senate. That is scary for many Americans she said.

Stupidly, she asked whether DC will become a conservative city if Bush wins and the House and Senate are in GOP hands.

It already is, Cocky, with lying little biddies like you doing your best to hide the truth.

What it will become, Cocky, is the Fourth Reich. Big time. And you will probably be arrested for being the daughter of a pseudo-Democrat while Tim Russert will become the Secretary of Censorship -- a new Bush Baby Cabinet position.

We'll have the lackluster General, "Colon Bowel" -- now a Republican puppet, a tragic minstrel for the racist GOP -- as the Secretary of Defense.

We'll have some nutball -- probably Condo-Loser Rice as Secretary of Isolationist State -- yet another black American who prostituted herself to the Republican Party so she could get ahead -- and fast.

But why stop there? Ward Connerly -- the anti-affirmative-action moron who outlawed Civil Rights in California, now a university chancellor -- would be the Secretary of Education. Alan "The Preacher" Keyes, fiery orator and never-had-a-chance GOP candidate for President, could be Bush's Attorney General. J.C. Watts, the promiscuous congressman from Oklahoma, could be Secretary of Agribusiness. Armstrong Williams could be White House Press Secretary.

That's right -- Bush could have an all-black Cabinet, appointing the worst racists of all -- black Republican men and women like Bowel and Condo-Loser as his Secretaries. He'd have Fat Tim as his token cracker -- to show he has compassion for loser pundits and rich, fat, white men.

George Staphylococcus said that he went back and looked up Clinton's schedule. Cocky said that Bush could win without Florida, Michigan and Pennsylvania.

Will thinks the election could come down to personalities.

Wow -- that is so insightful, George Will. IT ALWAYS COMES DOWN TO THAT! Don't you remember that America elected RONALD REAGAN -- a lovable man with severe mental handicap -- TWICE?

Americans vote first for the BOY and then for what he stands for -- if they even know.

The round table, like the FAUX News Sunday panel, are very PRO BUSH -- as we would expect -- but it turned out that in the end, SAM DONALDSON is rushing to the side of GORE, albeit sneakily.

Good for you Sam -- we guess you are worried about croaking soon.

We missed Reliable Sources, but one of our readers didn't...
If I hadn't heard it with my own ears, I wouldn't have believed it. Howie Kurtz, on CNN this morning, read a statement defending that network's redacting of Larry Flynt's accusations regarding George W. Bush because, it said, the charges were old and they had been unable to substantiate them.

So, I guess, after years of Whitewater, Ken Starr, Larry Klayman, Henry Hyde, Jesse Helms, Bob Barr (remember him), the great "W" himself, and other assorted GOP weasels, all of a sudden CNN wants to be responsible. Hello?

Is anyone listening?

And in a related story, what ever happened to the FBI's investigation into that Bush campaign tape which was mysteriously sent to a Gore staffer? Finally, I see the Bushettes have adopted a version of Nixon's old "V for Victory" hand sign. Of course, there are now three fingers extended. And don't think I don't know what that middle finger is telling me.

Yours,
Brian

Same As Last Week...
Well, it IS high election season, so there was nothing but the occasional indirect mention of the USS Cole, Middle East turmoil, even Clinton's very slick budget maneuvering -- which keeps incumbents from campaigning in their home districts.  This is especially damaging to the  GOP as there are far more Republican incumbents in trouble than Dems -- and even we think that the one Dem in the most trouble, Jim Traficant, should be defeated, indicted, and thrown in the slammer for a good long time.

But the big surprise for us was the discussion of the "Daisy" ad remake.  NOBODY came out and said that this spot has backfired badly -- or that the claims about Clinton selling out to China are a complete lie.  Here are a few facts the "Daisy" ad seems to have omitted.
FACT: All of China's missiles are aboveground -- and take HOURS to fuel.
FACT: The missiles are not reliable -- it is questionable that they could deliver a warhead to Taiwan, let alone an order of moo goo gai pan ten meters without failing... that is, if, in a hypothetical heating up of hostilities, they were not leveled by cruise missiles first!
FACT: The Chinese have no reason to attack America -- and dare not attack Taiwan. They need a free Taiwan even more than they need Hong Kong -- and they need America as a friend and trading partner to maintain economic viability.
FACT: As a result of the exchange of high technology, America has managed to get MASSIVE quantities of intelligence on mainland China -- including plans for all their VERY vulnerable rockets and peripherals.

FACT: The right wing has bombed again.

But the biggest backlash of this commercial is that it raises the issue of the FACT that the moronic Dubya will be a national security disaster.