Jeff Koopersmith

News From the Bush Kamp(f)
George W. Bush will lose in November.  Here's why.
by Jeff Koopersmith

Wednesday, March 15, 2000 -- WASHINGTON DC (APJP) -- Forget the media hype over the "tight" race expected for the presidency in November.

The truth is that the Republican Party has no idea what's going to hit it during the late summer and early fall of this year -- that is, if the DNC and Gore's campaign team know what they're doing -- and we think they finally do.

There is no close race in the offing.  George W. Bush will lead the GOP to the party's most humiliating defeat in the nation's history -- and take the House and perhaps even the Senate with him!

First and foremost, George W. is a loser -- a born loser. It's written all over him, and its been demonstrated time and again throughout his lackluster life.

He is the candidate who waltzed into the Austin Governor's mansion on Daddy's say-so -- and by lying through his teeth about iconic former Governor Anne Richards.

He has done countless "favors" for big business -- favors that hurt the voters and environment of Texas badly -- and he continues to do so. His little "bend over" for the funeral industry and his friendship with the now-indicted chief of coffins in Texas and around the country is enough to make Watergate look like a child's prank.

Allegations of Bush Baby having been busted for cocaine possession and the subsequent fixing of a judge who sentenced him to community service will also turn out to be true -- although it will have the effect of making him popular with certain users in our culture. The things he did while an admitted drunk, drunk driver, and worse will also come to the fore as the media hone in, looking for the dirt that makes their profits.

To put it in seven words: Bush is a goner before he starts. 

Here's a little hint to all of you "real" reporters out there: find out why the Bush Campaign pulled down the entire DumbBellYou Bio section of the official campaign web site which featured -- prominently, mind you -- pictures of BushBaby "volunteering" with a community group at just about the time he was alleged to have been arrested and sentenced to community service.

Although another man did order the murder, who would be better than former inmate Hatfield to know the inner workings of the judicial and penal system in Texas -- and who would have a better ear for jailhouse gossip, which any beat reporter will tell you is more often than not true. 

Better yet, we suggest that the actual journalists who read Ampol find out why the State Department and the NSA are flying their best and the brightest to Moscow this week to placate the Russians, who are angrily bitter and frightened over the possibility that this punk might actually reach the Oval Office, where he's likely to restart the Cold War with his hype about "rebuilding" the US military -- already so overwhelmingly strong that even Mars won't attack!

But for purposes of argument, let's assume that BabyBush gets off on these more flamboyant charges and that no one exposes him for what he is: a pampered, undisciplined brat who didn't even break a sweat until his late forties. And even then, Daddy had to buy him a ball club which was merely fiscal preparation for the Baby to step into the Governor's mansion with enough money to pay for his daughter's private school tuition.

Let's assume that the Bush womanizing -- which didn't stop at least until he hit the floorboards of the Austin Governor's Mansion (and some say still hasn't stopped) -- is also overlooked at the behest of
right-wing network executives and their right- wing bosses at their parent companies, who would rather have a crook in the White House they can control than a Democrat they can't.

Let's assume all of that -- and analyze the real impossibility of BushBrat winning even 105 electoral votes come November.

First, by moving far to the right during the primary, Bush has aligned himself with such luminaries as Newt Gingrich, Henry Hyde, the House Mangler Lynch Mob who took a dump on our Constitution and broke umpteen federal laws in an attempt to force Clinton to resign from the Presidency.

Second, let's tune in on BushPals Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell, two snotball televangelist thieves who think the Christian Right is in their back pockets. The truth is that Robertson and Falwell combined control less than 1.5 million votes in this nation -- and at least half of those idiots don't bother to vote, or cannot, because they've given all their spare cash to $4,000-a-suit crooks like Robertson to support his billionaire lifestyle and have no way to get to the polls. Robertson, who ran telephone commercials for Bush in Michigan, saw how well they worked.

They didn't. 

Third, we have the Bigot BushBrat - who misses no chance to bash Chinese-Americans for doing what his buddies in corporate boardrooms do every minute of every day: buy access to powerful government leaders. Imagine this crass piece of rich white trash, George W., accusing Al Gore of being a hypocrite for allowing the Democratic National Committee to accept funds -- which they thought were legal -- from a couple of crooks like Charlie Trie and John Huang. 

Everyone in America knows that Huang and Trie and their partners in crime were merely doing what American business does all the time: paying cash for access to people like the Bushes, the Reagans, the Nixons, the Carters (remember BCCI?), the Fords (less so than most), and the Clintons.

What Americans don't know is that most politicians aren't that stupid. Sure, they take money legally from anyone they can get it from. But when it comes to doing favors -- well, the suckers who contributed don't get jack squat.

That's right.

Pols take advantage of big givers all the time. They take their money -- but they give nothing but maybe a White House dinner or a private tour of the Oval Office in exchange. And that's all these corporate creeps want -- a chance to push their snake oil in person with the Chief, whether that's the President or the Governor of Texas.

However, in Bush Baby's' case, the money can be directly traced to gubernatorial favors that cost Texans millions of dollars. But Bush goes further: he actually pays off his contributors with favors which give them or save them billions.  All he does is take a piece of the action -- a famous RNC ploy as a campaign contribution, or series of contributions.

Fourth, wonder why oil prices are so high today? Well, it's no conspiracy theory that Kuwait and the rest of the thieving Arab Oil Sheiks are paying Old Man Bush back for his largesse in Desert Storm. Yeah. We supported a crooked hideous regime -- the Kuwaiti government, another non-democracy which preys on women, in order to stop Saddam Hussein from trying to grab a warm-water port.

Remember, even though we agree that Saddam is crap, the Kuwaitis and Saudis are no better. And now they are holding you hostage today to make the Clinton-Gore Administration look impotent in the arena of lowerinf gas prices, only to offer the BushBaby a chance to "lower gas taxes," making their oil even more alluring to western crackers like HexxonMojo and Gulf.

You see, lowering the gas taxes -- and, by the way, ruining you local road-building projects -- does nothing more than make gasoline blending cheaper for all those concerned, including the Arab oil sheiks!

The gas tax proposal by the Bushes is also a payoff and a warning to Dwayne Andreas and the  near-monopoly his Archer Daniels Midland has on fuel ethanol in our country. Every time gas prices rise, and every time gas taxes go down, ethanol enjoys huge price increases because it is more economical to blend than other octane enhancers. Forget ethanol as a environmentally safe fuel component -- it's not -- but it is a good octane enhancer and less pollutive than methyl alcohols from
oil now favored by the majors.

And you moron corn farmers -- take a look! I bet you ADM has not raised the price you pay for your corn one cent even though they are getting 40% more for their corn-based ethanol. What's their excuse this time?

If you think that Bush couldn't possibly get the Arabs to curtail production and raise oil prices to record levels - think again.

Remember, it took a lot for Bush Daddy to intervene in the Gulf. You might recall that George Sr., Jordan's King Hussein and Iraq's "Sodom" Hussein were bosom buddies for decades, and the reason Bush didn't flatten Iraq was for just this reason. And if you don't believe that (and that Colin Powell was little more than a Bush puppet), check out the superhighway we were building and continued to build between Jordan and Baghdad before, during and after so-called Desert Storm for the benefit of Saddam AND King Hussein.

Things are dicier than you think.

Add to this the fact that George Sr. and even the Baby Bush are still big players -- in an influence-peddling way -- in the oil "binniss."

Think: why isn't Bush calling for an attack on these Arab oil-producing nations and instead suddenly pushing to lowering gas taxes? When Saddam threatened American pocketbooks Bush Sr. went to war (well, sort of). Now we are threatened again, but everyone just sits by and lets Americans pay the price.

Something is rotten in the Middle East -- and it ain't Israel!

Let's get back to Bush.

Fifth, you hear tell that Bush is really popular among Latinos in Texas.

Well, that's not true. More than 45% of them hate his guts. Sure, Bush won some Latino votes, some stupid Latino votes -- but the truth is that Bush has let the Hispanic population in Texas down time after time, pushing Anglo education standards difficult if impossible to meet for Spanish-speaking kids. He has favored school vouchers, which deal out poor Latinos from good schools -- and he has left Latinos and Latinas and their babies to starve at the Texas borders in "colonias" on the US-Texas soil that rival the ghettos of Eastern Europe under Hitler.

Only when the BushBrat decided to run for office did he weakly try to do something about these stick-towns full of cheap labor for his buddies -- and still HE didn't go down there to personally throw his weight behind the effort.  Instead, he sent his stooges to try and get them some fresh water. Up until that time they had none, nor did they have schools, medical care -- nothing.

Sticking to bigotry, lets move on to Bush having sold his home in Texas with a deed which forbade the buyers both to sell to any "Negro" family and to allow Blacks to even live in their home except as servants. Now, such deed provisions are unconstitutional -- but I can tell you that this writer and many others have had those provisions struck from their deeds before passing ownership.

Bush didn't even bother, although he knew very well about this provision when he purchased the house -- or should have known as a future "inclusive" public official. 

Bigotry again: let's talk about Bob Jones University. First of all, "Bob Jones" is not a "University" at all, but rather a training ground for bigoted little blonde-haired punks and punkettes to excuse their hatred for others through God. God pukes on Bob Jones and his followers -- of that I can assure you. Not only did Bush visit this nothing institution of Lower Learning -- but he endorsed their prescriptions against Blacks, Hispanics, Orientals and anything not "born-again" and white -- including Catholics -- by not severely scolding them when he had the chance.

And don't tell me that Ronald Reagan went there as well -- Ron Reagan was too silly to know where he was -- and I love the guy.

Of course, we could excuse Bush Baby on these grounds as well -- but as far as I know, he isn't a candidate for Alzheimer's. Reagan may have been suffering from the disease long before we all thought (ask Leslie Stahl at CBS) -- and Bush still isn't a big enough man to fill one of Reagan's shoes with his entire body.

Care for more bigotry?  Let's look to Bush's record opposing runs against affirmative action and early education programs for minorities. He was on the front lines against equal opportunity admissions to colleges in Texas and supported the racists in California who crafted Proposition 209 and passed it, thus denying admission to college to Black and Latino students in record numbers. No room for late bloomers -- or kids stunted by poverty in Texas or California. Wow, what an INCLUSIVE man the Bush Baby is. 

Let's talk about Bush's "service" in the air. It is a fact that George W. Bush wormed his way to the front of the line of the Texas Air National Guard and took the place of others who stood in that line far longer than he. He didn't do this alone -- he was accompanied by the son of a well known DEMOCRAT US Senator in league with him and his Daddy during the same week.   Bush spent the Vietnam war cruising around in a taxpayer supplied mini-jet patrolling the Las Vegas desert looking for Vietcong fighters. The rest of the time he got drunk and slept with anything female that moved. He did this to avoid being killed in Vietnam -- and despite what he tells you now, his Daddy would never have allowed him to go to Saigon. Ever.  His Daddy was one of the architects of that American bloodbath -- remember that.

Who knows whether one of the kids in the back of that long line to the Texas Air National guard was killed or wounded taking BushBaby's place on the ground in South Vietnam? 

So who will Bush will appeal to in the upcoming election? So far we know it will be
(1) Bigots;
(2) Reformed drunks;
(3) Reformed drug users;
(4) Reformed womanizers;
(5) Rich brats;
(6) People who got into the Air National Guard even though they failed the written entrance exam;
(7) People who nearly flunked out of Yale;
(8) All 300 living members of the Skull & Bones -- a fraternity for brats which occasionally admits a token minority to their midst for fun;
(8) Crackers;
(9) Rednecks;
(10) Adulterers;
(11) Drunk adulterers;
(12) Coked-up adulterers;
(13) Prep school failures;
(14) Sons of ex-President/CIA Directors;
(15) Buddies of Queen Noor.

In terms of American voters , who are these Bush people? Well, Southerners -- or so you might think. But even they won't vote for Bush in numbers large enough for him to get their electoral votes. Remember, Clinton-Gore beat Old Man Bob Dole and Bush Daddy in five key Southern States, both in 1992 and 1996.

So just where will Bush get his votes? 

Well, let's give him Texas -- although I am unwilling to give him even his own state which must be fully aware of his reckless unworthiness for even the governorship. That's 32 electoral votes of 270 needed to win.

I'll give him Mississippi -- the state with the highest rate of illiteracy in the land -- only rivaled by Rwanda, and led politically by helmet-headed Trent Lott.  That's another 7 votes. Total thus far: 39.

Oklahoma -- yes! It's a state stupid enough to elect a Black Republican to the House of Representatives (JC "Daddy" Watts, an American oxymoron) and a janitor to the US Senate.  Oklahoma would definitely go for Bush. That's 8 more votes, for a total of 47.

Iowa -- why not? What else would a bunch or corn blowers and pig farmers hope for but an arrogant
smirking punk like Bush? That's 7 votes. Subtotal - we'll give him 54.

Idaho -- land of killer cops, psychotic militiamen, and white supremacist "Christian Identity" racists, with 4 electoral votes.  Idaho is also Bush country (assuming Buchanan doesn't take the state) -- so now Bush has 58.

Throw in the farmer state Dakotas, Dole's Kansas idiots and Nebraska, and BushBaby gets another 17 for a new sub total of 75.

Now, I'll even give him the Carolinas -- although he might lose North Carolina, which has some good universities in it. That's another 22 votes for 97 electoral votes.

Then there's Alaska, where men are men and women are men. That's another three votes for a Grand Total of 100 electoral votes.

100! And that's it.

I wouldn't give him another state -- including Colorado, Nevada, Utah, Georgia, Virginia, or Indiana, which have some very smart people in residence and a lot of minorities who don't cotton to bigots and will turn out to vote against him -- minorities and Whites too smart to vote for someone just because he happened to be born.  That's what will defeat him in the end -- Mormons don't like bigoted punks either. 

Now let's turn to Gore.

Well, the math is simple: Bush gets 100, Gore wins the rest -- including California (54), New York (33) and Illinois (22).

Just these three states, and Bush is beat. 

Lets also get rid of this fairy tale that Bush tells about the Tsi Lai Temple. What Bush expects you to believe is that Gore sat down with Bruce Lindsey and all the "Chinks" (that's what Bush calls them) in Washington and plotted to take money from self-impoverished monks at some temple in Los Angeles. Bush thinks you, the American voter -- smart enough to have become the world's only superpower -- will believe him when he accuses Al Gore of being a felon even though the entire FBI is against him and would have loved to prove Bush right, but couldn't. 

You're supposed to swallow this pap rather than the obvious: that Maria Hsia, an indicted
felon, delivered these checks full of laundered money (which she laundered) ON HER OWN to John Huang.  Or was it Charlie Trie? Or was it just any Chinese-American the GOP could finger? That's what Bush is trying to do: confuse you with lies.  At any rate, she did it so she could get closer to the White House -- which is exactly what AT&T, the big pharmaceutical companies, and everyone else in corporate American does every day.

Bush also wants you to believe that Clinton and GORE are Chinese agents ready to sell
the country to Beijing at the drop of a hat.

Well, I guess he wants you to believe the same thing about Haley Barbour -- the former chairman of the Republican National Committee who floated down Kowloon Bay with Chinese businessmen and took millions from them which he refused to return -- a crime far worse than Bush so foolishly accuses Gore of. 

Well... are you that stupid!!??? 

I think not. If you are, then you believe Congresspsycho Dan Burton, another Bush supporter, who continuously tells you that Bill and Hillary Clinton had their best friend Vince Foster murdered and the body thrown in a park. 

Bush says he wants to bring RESPECT back to the Oval Office. Hah! 

This is his definition of RESPECT -- you deserve to be President if: 
1. Your father was president.
2. You consider yourself a born-again Christian to the detriment of all non-Christians, gays, Blacks, Chinese, Catholics and Latinos.
3. You nearly flunked out of a prep school you shouldn't have been admitted to in the first place.
4. You nearly flunked out of a university you shouldn't have been admitted to in the first place.
5. You use race as a way to get votes from rednecks.
6. You give pep speeches to racists who attend phony colleges that are or were exempt from taxes.
7. You sell you home with a "No Niggers Allowed" clause in the deed. 
8. You are for school vouchers to make certain that minorities can't get a public education and can't afford a private one. 
9. You tout the pharmaceutical company "plans" to pay for drugs for seniors and the impoverished.  You know the one, the one that makes YOU the taxpayer, your children, and grandchildren pick up the entire tab through sky-high tax increases as the pharma giants make unprecedented profits on the backs of Americans -- and Europeans, Asians and Latin Americans pay about 25% of what you and your family do for the exact same prescription medicationss.
10. You get busted for cocaine possession or worse, fix the judge, walk away with a slap on the hand and do community service for a few months while a Black boy in Texas is doing 25 years to life for the same offense.
11. You murder, via the death penalty, women and minorities who may be guilty of murder even though you're not 100% certain they are guilty. After all, who could be? And you do it only to attract lower echelon thinkers in the ultra-right-winger voter category who get a kick from standing a death watch on criminals and pray every day that executions will be on cable TV soon. 
12. You imprison 8 times as many minorities as whites in your Texas jails although they represent only 12% of the population and White people like yourself get off with a clean record after a few weeks of picking up garbage on Texas freeways. 
13. You allow disease-infested shantytowns along your state borders and do nothing about it until you are just about to announce your father's intention for you to become crowned President. 
14. You cut to the front of the line to volunteer for the Air National Guard to keep yourself out of Vietnam while men like John McCain rot in tiger cages in Hanoi. 
15. You make certain that your biggest contributor's industry -- funeral homes, which prey on the bereaved -- are allowed to operate with almost no oversight and then fire the state officials who accuse you of paying off your friends. 
16. You make certain that you do not know the names of any leaders of foreign nations, including the Prime Minister of Canada, who you actually thank for "endorsing" you for President after a DJ "pranks" you with a phony phone call just last week.  Still haven't memorized that list of leaders, have you Georgy? By the way -- even a third grader knows that foreign leaders do not "endorse" candidates for President of the United States. But you don't. 
17. You hire rats like Ari Fleischer and Neo-Nazi Karl Rove to run your campaign -- men who wouldn't know the truth if they were lying face down in it. 
18. You rely on your mother to beat up the press for you. 
19. You practice your sneer and your smirk every day in front of the family mirror. 
20. Your grandfather and uncles financed Adolf Hitler through the Harriman Bank after he took power in Germany in the thirties.

Yup -- that's your definition of "respect."  And that's all it takes to be the next President of the United States, George W.

Not. 

JEFF KOOPERSMITH is a political consultant, opinion research authority, policy analyst, and self-described "renegade lobbyist."