Brownshirt Road Trip
GOP's Paid Thugs Heading Back to Florida to Stop Recounts -- Tacit Admission That Gore Wins Any Full and Fair Hand Recounting
by Tamara Baker

Friday, Dec. 8, 2000 -- SAINT PAUL, MN (AmpolNS) -- This just in: MSNBC reports that the same paid GOP thugs who re-enacted the Munich Beer Hall Putsch in Miami-Dade are even now on buses heading back to Florida!

Their intent: to stop, by any means necessary, the hand recounts ordered by Florida's Supreme Court -- recounts that will certainly topple Bush's microscopic 150-vote lead.

Floridians, get ready to defend yourselves and your precincts. The Republi-thugs will be targeting the heavily-Democratic counties of Miami-Dade and Pinellas, of course.

You know what to do.

Now, you may rightly ask, "Why is Tom DeLay sending down his Sturmabteilung to Florida again? Gauleiter Jeb's got the Republican snake-handlers running the Florida State Legislature to hold a special session to pick their own slate of electors. And won't the Bushies just run back to Don Vito Scalia and ask to have the FSC spanked?"

Sit down and grab a cuppa, boys and girls. This will take some 'splaining.

First off, the SCOTUS's earlier ruling to remand the FSC's initial decision allowing recounts has been grossly misinterpreted by the media (a discussion of just how badly the US press handled that news event in particular, and the 2000 elections in general, was the topic for one hour of Minnesota Public  Radio's 'Mid-Morning' program yesterday). This was NOT an 'overturning' of the FSC's earlier Gore-friendly ruling. It was, instead, a request by the US Supremes to clean up the earlier ruling and make it as airtight as possible. Once that was done, the USSC would accept the ruling. The Florida Supremes have done this, and the Bushies know it: No sane lawyer thinks that the USSC, having once already punted this hot-potato back down to the lower court, will be eager to reopen it once again, even to put a Republican in the White House, simply because of all the unsavory precedents it would set. And when the results from the Florida Supreme Court's mandated hand recounts come back, there's no way even Don Vito Scalia will dare to go against both the will of the people of Florida and the will of the Florida Supreme Court.

Same goes for the Florida State Legislature. Even The Honorable Mr. Feeney, the GOP House Speaker who has been called 'Florida's David Duke' for his all-too-obvious race-baiting and fascistic bent, had best think twice before voting to send off a slate of FSL-picked electors when the recounts give Gore the lead and the state. It would just be too obvious that Feeney is trying to thwart the expressed will of the people of Florida.

The GOP's only hope is to stop the hand counts.

To that end, they are even now working on having their attorneys tie up Judge Terry Lewis -- who gained jurisdiction in the Miami-Dade County recount, since the infamous Judge Stalls (er, I meant 'Sauls' -- no, I didn't) finally did the honorable thing and recused himself. Their intention appears to be to buy enough time to delay the start of the recounts to allow for the re-arrival of Tom DeLay's Beer Hall Putschers.

This is why it's time for you, my Floridian readers, to get out there and guard your county courthouses. Now. Don't let the Sturmabteiliung spook your elected officials.

NOTE FROM THE EDITORS: Earlier this week, the Washington Post's Al Kamen named names and provided occupations of a few of the Putschers featured in a Reuters photo.

Steven Brophy, former aide to Sen. Fred D. Thompson (R-TN.) and presently with consulting firm KPMG (5)

Rory Cooper, political division staff member at the National Republican Congressional Committee (3)

Duane Gibson, aide to Chairman Don Young (R-AK) of the House Resources Committee (8)

Garry Malphrus, majority chief counsel and staff director, House Judiciary Subcommittee on Criminal Justice. (2)

Layna McConkey, former legislative assistant to former Rep. Jim Lightfoot (R-IA), currently with Steelman Health Strategies  (10)

Roger Morse, aide to Rep. Van Hilleary (R-TN) (7)

Tom Pyle, policy analyst, office of House Majority Whip Tom DeLay (R-TX.) -- speaking of Dixie Cro-Mags (1)

Chuck Royal, legislative assistant to Rep. Jim DeMint (R-SC) (9)

Kevin Smith, former House Republican conference analyst and more recently with Voter.com (4)

Matt Schlapp, former chief of staff for Rep. Todd Tiahrt (R-KS), at the time with the Bush campaign staff in Austin (6)