The Education President
by Dave Gibbons

Friday, Dec. 22, 2000 (AmpolNS) -- Since the one-trick phonies of George W. Bush’s Iron Triangle convinced the press of their boy’s “inevitability” prior to his coronation by the Scalia Court, I think it’s proper for liberals to start looking to the bright side of a President W. "administration" action plan.  The top of this list has to be education.

Just look what Team Bush has taught us already, after usurping the office:

• You can’t find an American anywhere who doesn’t know what the Electoral College is.
• We all know exactly how many electoral votes Florida has. 
• We know more about Florida government than anybody, even in Florida, knew the day before the election. 
• We know how to rent a mob and force people not to participate in a democracy.

But this is just the tip of the ice cube. Consider what four or eight years of a W. regime will bring to our national education, specifically in terms of vocabulary words. As a writer, this is a subject close to that blood-pumping deal in my chest. By the end of Dubya's reign, everyone in America would know these words and possibly be able to paint some of them on a protest sign:

• vacuous
• arrogant 
• delegate (the verb) 
• befuddled 
• incompetent 
• uninformed 
• garbled 
• intimidation 
• incoherent 
• hypocrisy

I think the word thing is a great start to a true "education presidency."  I just wish it didn’t spring from such a shameful disdain for counting.

Copyright © 2000, Dave Gibbons.  Reprinted by permission.
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