"Bush's New Clothes" courtesy the Wizard of Whimsy

Saturday, Jan. 6, 2001 -- NEW YORK (APJ) -- The Doc got off the phone with a good friend of his, a big-shot Capitol Hill aide -- the type who knows where all the dead legislation is buried and the real reason why -- just before CNN cut to coverage of the Congressional certification of the Texas Dauphin, George Dumbya "Putsch."

Naturally, The Doc was relishing the near-likelihood that he would have His Illegitimacy to kick around for four years -- that is, if Li'l George manages to stick it out and not get impeached, indicted, or otherwise derailed by any number of scandals-to-come.

And the aide, who had been infuriated with the skullduggery in Florida and the right-wing U.S. Supreme Court that had cost the real presidential winner in that state -- Al Gore -- the election, sounded unusually sanguine.

"Yep, it's been a real interesting week, Doc.  We managed to pretty much de-fang Bouffant Boy [his pet name for Senate Minority Leader Trent Lott] and Wall-Eye [his nickname for the Senator from the Cigarette lobby and "rank" minority member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, Jesse Helms].  We share the power on the committees... Lott may be Majority Leader again after that doofus is sworn in as POTUS, but he's squashed like a bug.  Cheney may break the odd tied vote, but how much legislation will there be to tie-break?"

"Oh, puh-leeeze," The Doc replied.  "Your boss and the entire Democrat caucus are living in wussland.  [Rep. Alcee] Hastings, [Rep. Maxine] Waters,a nd a few others will object to the Florida electors in writing -- and not one senator has the cajones to step up to the plate and hit Mr. Texas Rangers out into the foul area!"

"Calm down, Doc," said my friend.  "First off, there's enough Vegas in this move to make your pal Stiggs happy -- but the [Senate] GOP caucus is furious about the arrangement.  DeLay and his pals in the House have had the wind knocked out of their sails with this move.  And are all the hard-righters counting on any help from the Senate are apoplectic.  You can hear Cheney and the real Bush Baby puppeteers practically shouting 'Ice-buuuuuuurg!  Dead Ahead!'"

This got a laugh out of The Doc, but then his trusted Beltway insider pal added this zinger: "One other thing -- if you don't think there's a relationship between sharing committee power and promising not to ruin Li'l Shrubya's coronation by objecting to Florida's electors in writing, you've got your head in the sand.  Not a lot of Al Gore's friends and supporters like this move now -- but just wait a few months. Things just turned south in a big way for the GOP, bigger than most people can imagine."

'Nuff said.