Jan. 13, 2001 - SAINT PAUL, MINNESOTA (APJP) -- Gentle Readers:

For the January 12th edition of "ScaifeMax" (http://www.newsmax.com/showinsidecover.shtml?a=2001/1/12/21330),  Carl Limbacher wrote a story concerning the 'rumor' of 'liberal' Arlen Specter's allegedly desiring to become a Democrat. 

Here is an excerpt:

<<Washington has been abuzz for while about Specter's off-the-wall comments and mental well-being. 

At one recent committee meeting, Specter excused himself to the restroom and returned, apparently oblivious to the fact that toilet paper was hanging from his pants. >>

Uh-oh! Don't let TP catch on your pants, or Carl Limbacher will sic the rubber-room folks on you!

Got anybody willing to go on the record about this, Carl, or is your source for this your own anus?

Ah, but there's even more heinous stuff:

<< On TV appearances, Specter's public comments also have raised eyebrows. 

Appearing on TV shows, Specter's answers to questions never seem to match the question and his responses seem to be heavily scripted. >>

Excuse me, but how does this differs from every other GOP pundit-show guest's behavior? 

The way I see it, Mr. Limbacher had one of three reasons to write this story:

a) He honestly believes it to be true.

b) Specter is rumored to be wavering on Ashcroft -- understandable, since as a Jew, Specter has GOT to feel more than a tad uneasy about the racist/Nazi/'Christian' company Ashcroft keeps -- and NewsMax wants to goad its wingnut racist readership into pummeling that nasty little uppity 'Christ-killer' into submission to the GOP line. However, to do so directly would get them in trouble, so they have to take a roundabout route to sic the dogs on Arlen.

c) ScaifeMax wants to lash at that uppity 'libbrul Jew' Specter just for kicks.

Any comments?

The hottest Rumor du Jour is, of course, ScaifeMax's revival of the Jeb-and-Cruella rumor, first referenced in these pages a few weeks back.

I was wondering why ScaifeMax was reviving the rumor, only to shoot it down as just yet another nasty tabloid smear (smearing both the rumor and the tabloids set to carry it), when last week's Examiner hit the stands. On the cover: A headline for a story outlining the Bush-Moonie connections. Also, this week the Washington Post ran a story on why we should never, ever trust anything in those awful tabloids. 

Hmmmmmmm. Coincidence?

And rounding out our rumor trifecta:

<http://www.scifi.com/scifiwire/art-main.html?2001-01/11/11.30.rumors>

<< Clinton To Appear In Bond? 

The Popcorn U.K. Web site reported a rumor that president Bill Clinton may make his acting debut in a cameo in the next James Bond movie. Clinton leaves his current job Jan. 20.The rumor is that Clinton would play a U.S. president at a reception attended by Bond. >>

Oh, please, God, let this be so!

I can just see Our Bill, looking straight into Pierce Brosnan's eyes, holding a martini (shaken, not stirred), meeting him laser stare for laser stare, saying: "The name's Clinton. BILL Clinton."

(Cue Bond Theme.)

That's all for now. Have a happy and productive MLK Day, and don't forget to tell your Senators to nix Ashcroft!