Guest Editorial
Citizen Joan, Who Disrobed to Conquer
or, If a girl took off her clothes during the inaugural oath and nobody reported it, would the streak still have happened?
by Banana Postino

Tuesday, Feb. 13, 2001 (Banana Republicans via APJ) -- The Corporate
Media failed to report perhaps the most interesting event that occurred
on January 20th, 2001, and predictably, it wasn't the swearing in of GW as
"president" of the United States, an event that was 100% banal, except 
for the fact that the wrong man was being inaugurated. 

The moment the Man was placing his creeping hand on the Bible, Joan Roney, a 
young citizen activist from New York, stood along with a companion and 
removed her clothing twenty feet away from Bush and Rehnquist, baring her 
naked chest where written were the words:
"No democracy?" (with the question mark's point painted on her navel)
Her arms read:
"One person one vote" and
"Ricky, How could you?"( referring to inaugurator Ricky Martin)
Her back read:
"Hail to the thief!"

A male companion of Joan's also removed his clothing to reveal messages 
decrying the theft of our democracy as well as denouncing the prison system 
in this country.

It was like a scene out of a Buñuel movie. While all others sat, our two 
compatriots stood and walked among bourgeois women draped in minks with their 
hairs blown blond who immediately began to scream threats at them. Their 
husbands and the secret service looked on in disbelief while Rehnquist and 
Bush, oblivious to the commotion, continued their malfeasance.

Photos were taken, the cameras rolled and the audience was shaken. Joan was 
interviewed in front of news cameras immediately after the happening, and 
documented the experience. However, the next day there wasn't a sole picture 
or a single story printed about Joan in the Corporate Media. Fortunately, the 
Grassroots Media (in this case Indymedia of D.C.) saved the day. Photos, 
stories, and video links were published about Joan and how she and her friend 
had taken a stand and denounced the farce.

Thanks to documentation obtained through the Internet, we all know that the 
Shrub couldn't perform his pseudo-presidential duties in oblivious peace. His 
motorcade was booed and fingered all the way along Pennsylvania Avenue. The 
Corporate Media once again ignored and denied the real story, that of the 
thousands of citizens like Joan, who came to D.C. to denounce the coup. 

Bringing us back to our question, If a girl took off her clothes during the 
inaugural oath and nobody reported it, would the streak still have happened? 
To which this reporter can only conclude that the Corporate Media is a white 
elephant, bound to die a natural death and... long live the Internet!

In closing and dedicated to Joan Roney:

Ode to Citizen Joan, Who Disrobed to Conquer

Upon the day of swearing in,
Amidst the polished gentry thin,
Sat our valiant citizen Joan,
Knowing that 'twas she, alone,
Could rip the garments from the ruse,
And of their tyranny accuse.

Etched it all on petal skin,
And gave the shout for all our kin!
Causing stares of fascinated horror,
And threats of pneumonia, and more.
Quickly, quickly, ah, to cover,
The message that can't help but hover.

The empire stands without its clothes,
And we heed Joan, who was so bold,
And did disrobe, thought, word and deed,
The mother lode they would impose!

Banana Postino is webmaster of the Banana Republicans Web Site

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