American Politics Journal -- Pundit Pap



"The Pundits, Flush With Pride" courtesy the Wizard of Whimsy.

Sunday, April 22, 2001 -- NEW YORK/WASHINGTON (APJP) -- Well, whuddyaknow? The Funeralgate scandal seems poised to reemerge and torpedo a possible future Supreme Court nominee -- along with the bogus POTUS.

Meanwhile, His Fraudulence remained inside a barbed-wire compound in Quebec City doing his damnedest to remain coherent and exude an air of "authoritability." during Western Hemisphere trade talks. Yet even a carefully tailored speech to the Free Trade Cartel could not erase the anger and resentment of America's allies at the large number of off-putting "initiatives" hatched by the Cheney-Card team and their front man, the "Smirk Puppet" -- especially over environmental and emissions issues.

So we fully expected the pundit shows to be playing up Dumb-Yuh as "the respected statesman" and "environmental president," given that EPA boss Christy Whitman and Oil Drilling Secretary Gale "Federalist Arsenic Girl" Norton were the two highest-profile motormouths making the rounds of the Sunday shows.

Here's what we saw on three of the most offensive so-called "political affairs" shows:

"Can the White House change its image on the environment?" asked "Kooky" Cokie Boggs Roberts at the top of This Weak.

Here's a better question, honey: "Can the current White House occupant's team change its image from a bunch of usurper thieves to a legitimate, respected executive branch?"

But the first matter of business for This Weak an update of news surrounding the downing of a small plane in Peru -- on which a missionary and her young son were traveling. It was assumed to be a drug-smuggling plane.

ABC reported that a surveillance plane under the control of American intelligence had wrongly identified the plane as an "Air Cocaine" flight -- and reporter Bill Redeker said that Congress would surely be taking up the debacle. Reporting from Quebec City, Terry Moran said Dumb-Yuh was "saddened" (golly!) and that South American leaders are not happy with the military component of America's failed "war" on drugs (truth be told, so would most Americans -- if the press would get their thumbs out of their mouths and do their job). Moran also said that all was not rosy with trade negotiations, but that a "first draft" of a treaty was in the works, and Smirk is doing a lot of "talking baseball."

Well, gee, that's no surprise -- seems it's the only topic he CAN discuss intelligently.

The first guest was Lori Wallach from Public Citizen, who said that the politics of globalization has shifted such that even Shrub has to talk about NAFTA being bad for the environment -- and that expanding NAFTA to some 35 nations is bad for the hemisphere's environment.

Cokie then said "there is no sense as to what [people in Quebec City] are protesting." She -- and her network, owned by Disney, which is (except for their policies on benefits for gay couples) not much better than the far-right Cap Cities, only have themselves to blame, focusing on clashes between protesters and the police and NOT on the substance. Wallach said, plainly and simply, that the biggest message of the protesters was the negative impact of globalization on the environment.

Then George Stephanopoulos did a short segment on "Earth Day" -- that quickly turned into a commentary on Smirk's declining approval numbers on environmental issues, especially in light of his genuinely stupid decision to put more arsenic in kids' drinking water. "Staph" argued that Cheney's so-called "energy task force" will tell the real story on his position on the environment.

Cokie then welcomed Gale Norton, and pressed her on drilling in the Gulf of Mexico. Naturally, Norton said that "the need for energy" and a "strong economy" trumps all -- but there would be an "environmental analysis."

Cokie quoted David Bonior, who said that old-style pollution is coming back thanks to the Smirk Regime. Norton quickly got off that touchy topic and started talking about endangered species -- and LIED when she said her position is the same as Bruce Babbitt's. Cokie said that Norton wants to stop private lawsuits that put animals on the endangered species. Norton said that these lawsuits should not be the sole criterion for declaring a species endangered.

Norton snickered at a political cartoon of a bloated patient being told by his elephant doctor that he needs more domestic sources to cure his "starvation." The message was that conservation, not oil exploration, is the answer. Norton kept shilling for drilling in protected areas, and the best Cokie could say was that the idea is "controversial," allowing Norton to give her sales pitch: new, high-tech drilling and surveying that won't impact the surface.

Yeah, sure -- this sounds SO reassuring coming from someone who wants more arsenic in our kids' drinking water.

Cokie also slammed the secrecy with which the energy task force is meeting -- funny how there's been NO talk about this on any of the network nightly news shows!

Interestingly, Norton looks to have had a makeover -- most notably bigger hair. But it hardly helped -- her couched catch-phrases and bureaucrat-ese only served to send a message that "We plan to drill in national monuments and drill hard."

Next up: Sen. John Kerry (D-Ma), who pulled out the tactical weapon: if a bill to drill in the Arctic hits the Senate floor, he will filibuster. Period. Cokie played the devil's advocate (not a stretch, given her near-Satanic slandering of the Clintons), parroting Norton's "high-tech" pap, and Sen. Murkowski's claim that Alaskan crude will replace Saudi oil. Kerry came one step short of calling the claim complete bullshit -- and said that it worsens the present energy quandary by giving a false sense of security. There is no wisdom, he said, in breaching protected areas -- and there is more greenhouse gas coming from the Alaska oil pipeline than from all of Washington, DC. What about new nuclear power plants? Kerry said that nuclear waste is an issue -- but he will not rule out nuclear power altogether. He did say, interestingly, that he does want to see present nuclear plants better utilized. Do Dems plan to bring the environment into the 2002 campaign? Without saying yes, Kerry emphatically indicated so -- focusing especially on Shrub's arsenic debacle. Finally, Cokie asked about the Peruvian shoot-down. Kerry slammed any downing of a plane based merely on suspicion. Should the surveillance flights stop? No, but this is a case of a badly implemented policy.

Following the break, Cokie echoed the "family values" spin of a study that essentially says that kids who spend long hours in child care are more likely to be unruly when they hit kindergarten -- in other words, Mommy should be at home and not take that job to help make ends meet -- not to mention that she should be in a nice, socially acceptable, evangelical-approved marriage, or she is something less than a decent human being and not entitled to any respect. The ABC reporter, Michelle Norris, lamented the "fact" that the report had not gotten much attention.

Well, gee, Michelle -- amybe it's because the so-called "report" is a joke when it comes to anything approaching serious methodology, and its conclusions are highly suspect.

Cokie then welcomed the round table, with PBS's Gwen Ifill replacing Sam "Scam" Donaldson, who we imagine must be out having his wig overhauled. George Will predictably said that kids should stay with Mommy, but quite surprisingly admitted that the methodology of the report was vulnerable to criticism. Gewn tried to draw a contrast between the personal and public policy response -- and "Staph" reiterated the question about the methodology. Will LIED when he said the nation is twice as rich as a generation ago.

Hey, George -- the FACT you neglect to mention is that the modern dollar has a FRACTION of the buying power of the 1950s dollar, and in most cases where Mommy works, she NEEDS to do so to meet her family's expenses. You want traditional families? Then tell your sponsors to DOUBLE their male employees' salaries so Mommy can be a good little homemaker. Talk about living in the past...

Ifill actually raised the issue that preschool girls may be learning more assertive behavior in day care -- and that may well be a good thing. Woman-hater Will bristled, bringing up a pointless anecdote about an animal shelter not letting people adopt puppies if they work full-time.

Then Cokie turned to Smirk's asinine arsenic call! Steph said it is W's "gays in the military" stumble, but he's skeptical about whether it has legs. Ifill said that nuclear power will be a controversial issue. Will, naturally, dismissed the "hysteria" and then brought up some silly study on caribou. Then he LIED -- claiming that there had been "predictions" of a New Ice Age 25 years ago in scientific journals. But these were NOT forecasts -- they were speculative pieces about what might happen if there were a major environmental catastrophe. Will lied a second time, saying most people blame big business for arsenic in the water when it's a natural mineral -- of course, he IGNORES the FACT that natural arsenic is a removable poison.

There was a little yammering about congressional redistricting -- and Ifill made light of the possibility that Bob Barr may lose his district in Democrat-controlled Georgia. Steph theorized that black districts had actually hurt Democrats -- and that's why the Supreme Star Chamber is leaving the law in place! Cokie claimed that Democrats are in disarray over redistricting -- but Ifill said that both parties are beholden to their special interests. She also said that the CBC will not budge on redistricting.

We ignored George Will's final comments on the Reagan legacy overkill, and remind you of the real legacy: the worst deficit spending in this country. The biggest tax giveback to the rich in American history. Encouraging bloodthirsty Ayatollahs to hold Americans hostage so they could steal a national election in 1980. Selling arms to these same terrorists. Financing the trafficking of cocaine. Honoring Nazi soldiers at Bitburg. And failing to see any evidence of the pending collapse of the Warsaw Pact and Soviet Union.

Of course, Reagan's handlers -- not Reagan himself -- were at fault. Old, affable Dutch was just their "front man," perhaps the best political propagandist of the latter 20th century.

One thing remains certain: This Weak remains the dullest of the pundit shows, especially without Sam Donaldson.

Issue one: Alan the audacious! John dissed President Greenspan for raising interest rates six times over the last couple years fearing inflation, then cast him as "daring" for this week's surprise half-point cut. Does it help the Smirk? Larry "Trickle-Down" Kudlow said he had been critical of Big Al, but liked this bold move, and "the Fed figured out this is a supply-side downturn" -- i.e. the rich want more money and power. Eleanor Clift called it a desperate attempt to restore consumer confidence. John congratulated Tony Blankley on his natty threads -- and let Tony pontificate on the tax bill, which he predicts will go through in the fall. Jim Warren laughed at "freedom to farm" politicians caving in, and said that talk of "the magical Greenspan is sophistry." Kudlow gleefully agreed.

John asked, in a near-frothing panic, if Shrub is doing enough on the phone to whip GOPers and seduce Democrats to save John's tax cut. Kudlow said -- catch this -- that it's worth trading judges for tax cuts! Following a vid clip of OMB boss Mitch Daniels, there was some more recycled tax cut pap. So... was Greenspan's move in the nick of time or too little too late?
Larry: Alan is always too late -- and "attention campers: buy stocks!"
Eleanor: On time.
Tony: Won't impact for 6-8 months, not in the nick of time.
Jim: Too late.
John: Nick of time, I WILL be proven right!!

Issue two: Dead man walking! The McVeigh execution, said John, is turning into a media extravaganza! John recounted the McVeigh media-justice execution schedule. Why the saturation coverage? Eleanor said it's news -- the federal execution of a mass murderer that families of the victims have asked to witness. Is there a need for a limit on this coverage, or should the appetite be fed? Jim Warren, who sounds as if he read Mac MacArthur's commentary of McVeigh, slammed the concept of "deterrence." Tony lamented an end to public hangings -- no doubt because the Clinton-hating Blankley would love to see Bill, Hillary, and all those other uppity liberals get the noose. Jim slammed Ashcroft for "going down this raod" -- and turning McVeigh into an even bigger celebrity. Eleanor said we've given publicity to Hitler for decades.

Hey, Eleanor -- why not name some of those facilitators? F'rinstance, there's Prescott Bush!

Will McVeigh's death bring closure?
Larry: No
Eleanor: No
Tony: Yes
Jim: Yes
John: Yes

Issue three: has The New York Times gone senile? Ha, ha, ha -- has John been taking his Prozac? John boosted Smirk's plan to drill in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge -- and slammed the Times at length for their "Despoiler Bush" editorial, which is a 180-degree turn from a long-ago editorial. Jim said "They're quaking that you may cancel your daily and Sunday subscription!" He said times and views change. Tony said facts have not substantially changed, and the Times is fashionably liberal -- totally liberal, in fact. John: who's running the editorial page, Greenpeace? Kudlow: the facts have changed -- we have a huge shortage of electricity.

John, in his oiliest voice, asked if the Times was being intentionally dishonest. Eleanor slammed the idea -- because the Times had been wrong on Prudhoe Bay environmental damage.

How much damage has this done the Times on a scale of 1 to 10?
Larry: A little.
Eleanor: 0.
Tony: Unfortunately, 0.
Jim: -2!
John: 3.

Prediction: "Will the Chinese return our plane?
Larry: Eventually.
Eleanor: I agree.
Tony: Yes -- "but they'll delay it a lot, and it'll come back in a box!"
Jim: Yes -- "all that'll be left will be three seat cushions inside!"
John: Yes -- "a few days before Bush's visit to Beijing in October."

As usual, Tim Russert oversold the top issues: Bush's environmental record under attack! And the "national debate" over the war on drugs!

Up first: EPA boss Christy Whitman, who immediately defended Shrub's arsenic ruling using shaky science, suspect statistics and the usual spin -- and said that there has to be some consideration of water utilities and a peer review of ways to solve the problem. She conceded that 50 parts per billion is too high and can cause cancer. Tim Russert essentially slammed the move, even going so far as quoting a Wall Street Journal editorial calling Shrub's decision a bonehead move, saying "the science is unequivocal." Russert spent nearly a minute firing away, and Whitman was stuck laughing, looking uncomfortable, and saying again that there is no question that the science is unequivocal -- and was on the defensive as she insisted that there was not going to be a delay in implementing standards.

Tim then went on the attack: What is the standard in your home state?
Whitman: 10 [PPB].
Tim: So why can't the rest of the country have that standard... rather than [looking as if] you've been gotten to by the mining industry?

Whitman was completely unable to answer Tim convincingly. She swore that she had not talked to people in the water or mining industry -- but so what? She said that since the Clinton version of the arsenic rule was not going into effect in 2006, she would push to have it "dramatically lower than 50 [PPB]."

Then she contradicted herself -- saying that there was "no definitive science" to prove that 10 PPB was better than a slightly higher level. Huh?

Tim then turned to global warming -- and an article in Time that essentially reports rising global temperatures and forecasts hundreds of millions displaced as regions become unlivable. Again, Whitman hid behind the argument that we have to "deal with" greenhouse gases -- but offered NO specifics. Tim then made Whitman a hypocrite, quoting her on the CO2 issue some months ago, then recounting Shrub's decision to reverse course and reading editorial comments from around the world. Whitman said that W. was not going to support the protocols because all nations except Romania have problems with it -- and there's an energy crisis, meaning caps on CO2 will drive prices up and ruin the coal lobby's push to burn filthy so-called "clean" coal. Tim then threw Whitman a bone, quoting a writer for The New Republic who claims that Europe "set us up" on CO2 levels, since they would not be able to comply either. Whitman, of course, agreed -- then said that China, India and other nations have to cut their emissions.

Whitman essentially said that much of the present controversy is a result of Earth Week -- and that there would be legislation on controlling lead pollution and that there may well be a treaty. What about nuclear power? Whitman said we're in the 21st century and there is much new safety technology -- the biggest environmental problem is oil tanker spills. Yep -- she supports nuclear power. But what about cuts to the budget for controlling nuclear waste? Whitman tried (in vain) to deny that the budget is being cut, but "reallocated".

Tim then turned to a favorite "scare" story -- hoof-and-mouth disease. Huh? Why is he asking Whitman when this should be directed toward the Agriculture Department?

The whole segment was a riot -- an exercise in typical Team Smirk doublespeak. Whitman came across as nothing more than the messenger girl for a bunch of Smirk's financiers, and a shameless one at that.

Following the break, failed drug czar Barry McCaffrey was one of the guests. McCaffrey was saddened by the shooting down of a missionary plane -- but almost seemed to justify the deaths by saying thousands die from South American narcotics. Nauseating. New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson (R), who was billed as a sort of "anti-drug-war activist", said that the best solution is for people NOT to do drugs, but legalization and a harm-reduction strategy are needed for marijuana. Does a dope smoker indulging in the privacy of his own home merit a jail sentence, he asked hypothetically? No --but driving stoned, for example, is and should remain a crime. Johnson argued that marijuana is not addictive. McCaffrey said that people "have to go to" the NIDA and other agencies that argue that he's wrong -- after all, law enforcement types know best.

Oh, please -- law enforcement could be better deployed than going after marijuana users.

Johnson said that there is now strong evidence that decriminalizing narcotics does NOT increase drug use -- and in fact causes crime to decrease -- citing examples from Switzerland and Europe. McCaffrey then LIED when he said he asked where the evidence comes from, and some cop said Rolling Stone.

Hey, McCaffrey -- where did Rolling Stone get the story? Is Rolling Stone, with their decades of cautionary journalism on the chemical excesses of innumerable rock stars, pro-drugs? Please, you hypocrite -- who do you think you're fooling?

Tim said that drug use is down 50% in 20 years -- but Johnson said he feels this number is wrong. McCaffrey was right for once when he said that this is a global problem, and prevention and treatment must be encouraged. Tim got in some gratuitous Clinton-bashing as he said Clinton pardoned a drug dealer. Hey, Tim -- didn't Bush pardon a bunch of felons tied to selling cocaine in L.A.? Ever heard of Iran-Contra?

Johnson said that marijuana use does not merit rehab -- and that dope-smoking laws are used in a discriminatory manner against Hispanics in particular. McCaffrey said that marijuana is a gateway drug.

Hey, Barry -- what about TOBACCO, the BIGGEST gateway drug to other addictive substances?

Johnson reiterated his point: incarcerating users does not work. McCaffrey ended on a vague, broad, warm-and- fuzzy family values note.

The next segment was a plug for Mike Deaver's new book on the Reagan Years -- and more pap about the Reagan "legacy."

On CNN's Reliable Sources, E.J. Dionne echoed our own Mac MacArthur as he slammed a known Web pornographer for moving to webcast the McVeigh execution.

Now, if some intelligent prosecutor out there would look into said Internet promoter attempting to pass himself off as a "journalist" in court papers...



Home • Latest • Archive • Search