American Politics Journal

Answer:
A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE
(Q: What are Usurper Boy and His Minders and Minions Caught Between Because Of the Phony VandalGate Scandal?)
By Tamara Baker

Monday, June 4, 2001 -- SAINT PAUL, MINNESOTA (APJP) -- I'd have more respect for the clowns currently illegally occupying the White House if they didn't need their oil, legal and media buddies to keep bailing them out and covering for them on a 24/7 basis.

They spent $200 million -- four times what Al Gore spent -- and they STILL had to call in Nino Scalia's Felonious Five to keep the fix in on what should have been a lock back in August of 1999.

Hell, they almost didn't make it past John McCain in the primaries -- and even Bob Dole could have squashed McCain with little effort!

And now, we see these buffoons shooting themselves in the foot over their idiotic "vandalism" FauxGate directed at Bill Clinton.

My God, these people don't even know how to keep their fingerprints off of the damned smear they started. Even with their minions anonymously leaking lies "on background" to their compliant Beltway CelebCorps buddies, even with CNN and the Big Three networks following Uncle Rupert's FAUX News' smeary lead, they just couldn't do the follow-through.

Thing is, they should have known that the smear would have eventually been disproved to a fare-thee-well by both GSA and the GAO.

And it has been.

And the Democrats, with outraged former Clinton staffers such as Jake Siewert in the vanguard, have been demanding an official recantation of, and apology for, the VandalGate smear.

At that point, the smart thing to do -- and what every other Republican administration would have done at this point -- would have been to find some expendable low-level minion, make him or her take the fall, and arrange for Enron or Halliburton to give said minion a payoff in the form of a cushy, lucrative seat on the Board of Directors.

But NOOOOOOOO!

What do Idiot Boy's handlers decide to do?

They dig themselves a DEEPER hole, that's what!

Rather than apologize, ax a minion, and let the story die away, these stupid fools are trying to keep it alive by making up new instances of "vandalism" -- instances that neither the GAO or GSA, which spent months investigating the vandalism claims, ever found, because they didn't "exist" until Ari Fleischer pulled these "instances" out of his own sphincter the other day -- and in the process handed the slandered Clinton White House staffers, not to mention Democrats as a whole, a club with which they can relentlessly pound the illegal Shrub junta well into the 2002 elections.

Up until now, Shrubbie's minders could have done the it-was-all-the-work-of-a-few-isolated-apparatchiks bit and gotten away with at least the appearance of deniability, as far as the blowback for this embarrassingly botched smear job went. But now, with spokes-geek Ari Fleischer giving the Shrubbery's Official Seal of Approval to the lie, they are now irreversibly glued to this radioactive tar baby and trapped between a Rock and a Hard Place:

The Rock: Continue -- in the face of the GAO, the GSA, the outraged and slandered Clinton White House staffers, and even the very denial that vandalism occurred according to their own alleged boss, Shrubbie, -- to insist that the vandalism stories are true. This brings back memories of nearly thirty years ago, with the emerging story of Watergate break-in, the abuse of power, the immense evil it revealed (Nixon, among other things, used both the IRS and FCC as weapons against his enemies) and the way in which it slowly ate away at Nixon's presidency, showing it to be nothing but lies and corruption.

or:

The Hard Place: Do a far more painful variation of the scapegoat-the-minion strategy -- except that in order for it to work now, they'll have to dump Ari Fleischer and half of their staff, and they won't be able to buy or frighten all of the sacrificial lambs into keeping their silence.

Their only hope right now is that they can keep the Beltway press in line, and the story ushered off center stage, as soon as possible.

But even then, they won't be able to shove this genie totally back into the bottle. And 2002 is just over six months away.



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