American Politics Journal -- Pundit Pap



"The Pundits, Flush With Pride" courtesy the Wizard of Whimsy.

Sunday, July 15, 2001 -- NEW YORK/WASHINGTON (APJP) -- The big stories this week were maneuvers in the House of Representatives that delivered a short-term blow to campaign finance legislation, Chicken George's hemming and hawing over whether to fund stem cell research, a successful test of dangerous and destabilizing missile defense technology, and new evidence that Republican activists gimmicked the Presidential vote in Florida by counting ineligible absentee votes for the Smirk -- and intentionally delaying absentee votes for Gore to "force" them to become ineligible.

So, naturally, the Sabbath Gasbags once again made their top priority a fresh look into boxers and/or briefs of Rep. Gary Condit (fake Democrat-CA).

Sam Donaldson opened This Weak with a report that the latest "Star Wars" missile test actually worked (the report included Defense Department footage and reporter Jim McQuethy's comments about a "subdued" press conference this morning following yesterday's "primitive" test).

Then Cokie Roberts turned to the story that she and all of her busybody "socailite" friends in the Beltway are no doubt gossiping about at this very moment: the disappearance of Chandra Levy (read: that awful, awful Gary Condit!). Cokie interviewed DC Police Chief Terence Gainer, who said that the polygraph test Rep. Condit took earlier this week is essentially meaningless because the questioner was not familiar with the DCPD's case file. But he also brought up the possibility of Chandra Levy having fallen victim to street crime -- and the fact that suicide still cannot be ruled out. Gainer also said that an NBC report that the DC police suspect an "experienced killer" is wrong.

Gainer called polygraphs an effective tool, and said the DC police can force nobody to take a polygraph (then why all of Gainer's appearances on the Sunday shows to pressure Condit into a polygraph?). Cokie pressed Gainer on reports that the DC police have all but ruled out Condit -- and a sick Washington Times report about some panties found in Condit's apartment that seemed to have some blood on them. All Cokie managed to do with that sleazy question is point out how sleazy the Moonie Times can be -- and how sex-obsessed she herself is.

Cokie: "Bodies seem to be turning up [all over DC]... is [Levy] getting more attention" than she warrants?

Huh? Who's to blame for THAT, Cokie -- the cops, or the whore press and busybody biddies like you?

The next guest was defense attorney Johnnie Cochrane. Okay, so his been lead defense attorney for O.J. Simpson may turn a lot of people off -- but Cochrane is smart, articulate, and quick on his feet. He explained some of the reasoning that he believes Condit and his attorney Abbe Lowell are using. The polygraph, he said -- while not definitive or rising to the scientifically acceptable level of the courts -- is a very useful tool for both sides in a case. And while he had to deflect Cokie's point that O.J. reportedly failed a polygraph test, he added that the volume of evidence is what counts in criminal trials. He did say that he feels Condit should come clean about the nature and extent of his relationship with Levy -- and should have done so early. Cokie asked if the DC police had treated Condit with kid gloves -- and if a black suspect could expect this sort of treatment. Interestingly, Cochrane focused on the role of the media in the case -- implying that press scrutiny has had a great deal to do with the perception that Condit is being "handled with kid gloves."

Following the break, Sam turned attention to the great disappearing surplus -- and the possibility that there will be yet another raid on Medicare and Social Security. Guest one: Mitch Daniels, director of the Office of Management and Budget, who touted Smirk's huge-ass tax giveback (mostly to the wealthy). Sam quoted one critic slamming "bookkeeping gimmicks" -- and Daniels made believe that tapping Medicare funds every year is perfectly okay -- in fact, he practically said it's a good thing. Sam rode Daniels on that comment, and suddenly Daniels went vague on how big these so-called surpluses would be.

But make no mistake -- Daniels was putting up a smokescreen to hide the fact that the nation may run a deficit, and that the big tax giveback was a big mistake.

Sam turned to Sen. Kent Conrad (D-ND), who slammed Daniels' comments and said that claims that the massive tax cut and defense spending increase would be covered by surpluses do NOT in fact add up. He called the tax cut a "fiasco" -- and slammed the present occupants of the White House for policies that destroy programs people want. Conrad supports defense spending increases -- but Smirk and company want to raid tre Medicare and Social Security trust funds to pay for it. "That's a profound mistake" because a decade from now, when boomers retire, "We've got REAL problems." All Daniels could do was use conservative press spin and vague blather, making claims of "misleading rhetoric." The problem is, Daniels was focused on NOW rather than a decade from now -- and many of the Smirk-propping press claims Daniels relied on were based on bad numbers. Sam asked Daniels about the so-called "lock box." Daniels characterized it as "hoarding."

Oh, we see -- "hoarding" money so that retirees on whose back the present prosperity was BUILT can make ends meet is a BAD thing! Such a compassionate conservative, this Mitch Daniels. Compassionate Social Darwinian is more like it.

Conrad went on to slam Daniels about raiding Social Security, pointing out that private companies cannot raid their pension funds -- instead, America should save more, not less, for the trust funds. All Daniels could say is that he and Conrad don't want to raise taxes and that the so-called President is paying off the debt.

"It's the election that just won't die," said Cokie -- and we bet that she wishes it just would, so that "her" people in the press wouldn't look as bad as they do. George Stephanopoulos said that the New York Times's lead story -- about outright fraud involving military ballots -- was the longest article they've run in the paper since Nixon's funeral. He also said that the story has "no smoking gun" -- but that is 100% MISLEADING, because of new reports that House GOP members tried to get e-mail addresses of military personnel in a plan to get them to submit INELIGIBLE ballots, and a separate piece in the Times that showed black absentee ballots were "racially profiled" -- into not being counted.

He also featured a "video bite" of the highly respected Gary King of Harvard University, who said that a proper count of the ballots would probably have not given the election to Gore. King was careful to say "probably" -- as the standard used in the Times count itself is different than that if all absentee ballots that were not in strict compliance with the law were thrown out -- and Gore would likely win.

All Paul Gigot and Claire Shipman could say was that the GOP did a better job pressing their handling of the post-election Florida debacle that the Democrats did.

Funny that none of them have asked if the Justice Department and military are pressing charges against members of the military who committed a felony by voting TWICE -- or if there's any will to expand an investigation of what looks to be massive overseas military voter fraud to states other than Florida.

The solution -- one which Neoconfederates will squeal about -- is to institute a national database of absentee voters to prevent such fraud.

After the break, the panel of fools talked Condit. There were some truly moronic statements: Claire Shipman said that Condit's polygraph backfired -- but failed to ask if this was the result of slanted, tabloid-style press coverage. Sam dissed Abe Lowell. Cokie made a lot about Condit being questioned three times and having his apartment searched -- but failed to consider that this is NOT uncommon in missing-persons cases, especially high-profile cases. Claire claimed that Condit was somehow being uncooperative -- which is ridiculous when you consider that police failed to ask Condit about specifics of his relationship until his third interview with the cops.

Talk turned to the REAL top story of the week, Hastert's attempt to kill campaign finance reform legislation. Paul Gigot naturally said this was good for the GOP, and Cokie -- using a highly questionable anecdotal example -- said that supporters of this legislation need to get the grassroots going. Gigot insulted Americans by saying they "don't understand process" involved in legislation.

Here's some news, Paul: they don't need to. All they need do is understand that they got screwed by Denny Hastert and Tom DeLay. As a right-wing propagandist, you should be able to grasp the concept that the public is more interested in the bottom line than the process.

There was a little talk about some sporting event that will be taking place in China seven years from now -- and whether it is going to "Westernize" and "open up" China. Sam pointed out that the China win was even supported by "some of the conservatives" (read: even some elected bigots who hate "those sneaky slants" and who aren't even inclined to want to know the difference between China, Japan, Korea and all the other nations of Southeast Asia).

And so it went -- but for once ABC didn't squander the full hour as they usually do (i.e. with as little substance as one can imagine). Add to that the fact that they tried to address a larger number of issues than usual, and (despite their right-leaning tenor) This Weak may be the show to start paying attention to on Sundays.

McLaugh-In!
Condit, Serbia, and the continuing dementia of Sunday's loudest pundit

Note to John McLaugh-In: we are sick of the GE ad with the treacley music and "bring good things to life" voice-over. We'd rather hear YOU bellow out the GE endorsement at the top of the show: "GE! They bring good things to life! Firing systems for nuclear weapons! Plastics for our 21st century military! Cheap appliances to drive up your power bills! And best of all, my mad ranting!!"

Issue one: The McLaugh-In Group sticks their hands down Gary Condit's trousers! John -- God bless him -- mentioned that Condit is a Democrat from a conservative California district, gets lousy "grades" from liberal advocacy groups, and supported the impeachment of Bill Clinton.

How can Democrats hold this district? Mike Barone said that California should carve out a new Democrat district, which went 53%-44% for Smirk. Tony Blankley suggested that GOPers be quiet about calling for his resignation -- but never explained his real reasoning: Condit votes with the GOP more often than most Dems. John actually claimed there was some sort of LEGAL case against Condit -- but Jim Warren dashed that madness.

Is Condit a "dead man walking"?
Mike: He's walking in that direction.
Eleanor Clift: His devout religiousness now looks hypocritical. He's dead.
Tony: He's dead.
Jim: This is not the College of Cardinals (what a riot -- a cheap shot at Jesuit John! We bet Warren is thrown off the group) -- and he could win.
John: Provided the pieces fall into place, he could win re-election!

Ha, ha, ha, ha. Here's a prediction for YOU, John: he's not going to run in 2002.

Issue two: Bulletin from the Balkans! John called the extradition of Slobodan Milosevic "extraconstitutional" by Serbian law -- then practically called the new Serbian Prime Minister Zoran Djindjic a neo-Commie and the real power in Serbia. John actually interviewed Djindjic for his other syndicated show (seen by dozens) -- and Djindjic said that Serbia missed the chance to try Slobodan Milosevic legitimately. Eleanor pointed out that there is a genuine danger of destabilization in the former Yugoslav federation, especially if Slobo were tried locally. John said that Djindjic "engineered" an illegitimate removal of Slobo. Djindjic said that Yugoslavia is not a real federation -- and Kostunice is therefore not a legitimate leader!

Gee, maybe Kostunice should hire Karl Rove -- he's good at advising illegitimate right wingers!

Mike is glad Slobo got extradited to The Hague; Jim pointed out that there is a nineteen-party coalition that Djindjic has to hold together -- and Tony actually called him "the FDR of the Balkans." Yep -- that would make him a commie in John's eyes! Djindjic said in so many words that Kostunice is holding back reforms -- and John pointed out that Kostunice is a nationalist. Mike said that Djindjic is pushing Serbia toward more normal relations with the rest of the world.

John then asked Djindjic about the War Crimes Tribunal in The Hague. One of the people indicted is a member of Djindjic's government. Djindjic said that Milosevic is a perpetrator AND symbol of disaster in the former Yugoslavia -- but that Serbia should determine its own future. John added that Djindjic feels that international prosecutor Carlo del Ponte is "unleashing disaster." Naturally, Tony agreed. It should be pointed out that for those that don't follow McLaugh-In or Pundit Pap that both John and Tony have been long-time apologists for Slobodan. Eleanor said that the bar is high for trying Slobodan, and prosecutors have the smoking gun, then said the entire world wants to see justice. Both John and Tony flogged the specter of some sort of horrifying "world government" -- boilerplate proto-paranoid "red meat" for hard-righters. John echoed Serbs who want "limits to this because it is bringing instability." Jim Warren said, "Put [Slobo] in the dock" and see what comes of it. John was worried that Croats will kill (his beloved) Serbs.

Well, gee, John, if you're so worried, what's so wrong with international peacekeepers? They might even bring along some of those wonderful GE-made defense products!

Djindjic then said he wants NATO out of Serbia and Macedonia. Tony said that "we are sliding" into more NATO involvement. Eleanor supports NATO involvement. Mike hopes that there will be no need for NATO involvement. Jim Warren said someone should take responsibility -- namely, NATO.

Predictions!
Mike: The US will support UN membership for new Baltic nations.
Eleanor: Congress will give Smirk the go-ahead to fast track trade negotiations.
Tony: Patients' Bill of Righyts is dead.
Jim: Campaign Finance Reform is dead.

Well, THAT'S a ray of sunshine to start off our Sunday morning! But look at the bright side -- those last two predictions will come back to bite the GOP in the butt!

Defeat the Press
Tim acts like he frets for Chandra Levy -- as he shills for the FOX network!

Tim spent way too much time on missing intern Chandra Levy -- or, we should say, bashing Gary Condit and exploiting the news surrounding Levy's disappearance. At the top of the show, His Rotund Punditness even hyped the presence of John Walsh, host of the FOX broadcast network's America's Most Wanted, as a guest! More on that later.

But first, Tim pompously proclaimed the campaign finance reform crusade of Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) "dead" -- then welcomed McCain. For the most part, the segment was interesting -- "Coroner" Tim let up a bit on the "attack questions" and gave McCain plenty of room to be Mr. Diplomatic-GOP-Elder-Statesman-Nice-Guy.

Before asking McCain a question, he played video of Stealth House Speaker Tom DeLay saying he'd do anything to stop campaign finance reform. Naturally, McCain said " A funny thing happened on the way to a fair vote..." McCain is clearly going forward with his fight -- on the one hand, he wants to sit down and work out a deal; on the other, he's talked with Tom Daschle, who may attach Campaign Finance Reform to another bill; on yet a third "hand", McCain may push for a discharge petition to get a vote.

Tim then turned to Hastert's cheap-shot accusation that McCain is playing politics with reform to build an independent political base. Oh, we see, Denny -- if politics is not done in the context of "our party vs. their party," it's some sort of crime. Hastert also accused McCain of bullying freshmen on the campaign finance issue. McCain demolished Hastert's spin in so many ways it was hard to keep track. McCain did say that he's seen nothing in the way of lobbying against McCain-Feingold from the White House -- then predicted that there would be a vote this year.

Tim brought up the Florida election scandal -- was it appropriate for former House Mangler Rep. Steve Buyer to call the Pentagon and get e-mail addresses of military personnel? McCain gave Buyer very little cover, defending him quite lamely against the allegations. Tim asked McCain about Smirk's proposal to give three million Mexicans legal resident status. McCain said that diplomatic issues are involved -- and it looks like a step in the right direction. McCain was asked about stem cell research -- he supports it.

Tim then turned to one of his favorite pastimes, "attack by poll numbers." He flashed numbers that "proved" Democrats like McCain better than Republicans. McCain gave a modest but evasive answer, acknowledging that he may be popular, but has an obligation to independence in the tradition of Barry Goldwater and Morris Udall. Tim flashed more numbers -- concluding that hard-righters "have a problem" with McCain. McCain said he is working with Team Smirk -- and he will support him for re-election.

But we know that "J.J." is secretly thrilled that he has inflamed the most venal and hate-filled wing of the GOP, namely, its Neo-Confederate Neofascist right wing. He knows the truth -- these ultra-righters are sandbagging the GOP and have turned it into the Party of Intolerance and Know-Nothingness-As-Virtue. He and the GOP are better off without them.

Tim THEN showed the cover of the completely laughable ScaifeMax... er, NewsMax magazine, showing a McCain-Hillary ticket. Remember, this is the magazine that features loony "investigative" boy journalist Chris Ruddy and our favorite ultraconservative wild man writer, Carl Limbacher (Dave "Doctor" Gonzo told me he's politically out of his mind but a very likable, pleasant guy in person). McCain laughed -- but surely he knows that this sort of independent "fusion" ticket could win -- and would stick it to the hard right!

Following the break, Tim wasted most of the rest of the show fishing for Gary Condit's "trouser trout." It was a complete waste of time -- but we stuck with it to see just how low Tim would stoop.

DC Chief of Police Terence Gainer was Tim's first victim. He was asked essentially the same questions and gave the same answers that we saw on This Weak -- though he did try to claim that Condit should have given "more information" in his first interviews. Tim played footage of Abbe Lowell saying that Condit had answered all questions in those first interviews -- including one in his home --to put Gainer on the defensive. Naturally, Tim NEVER asked the money question: did the cops ask SPECIFIC questions about the nature of the Condit-Levy relationship in the first interviews?

Gainer did not get the kid-gloves treatment he got from ABC -- and in the face of Tim's questioning, he looked and sounded defensive, which he did not on This Weak.

Tim then asked about the now-disputed time line Condit provided (an ABC off-air reporter claims to have met with Condit on May 1, not May 2, as Condit claims). Tim: "Is Condit acting like an innocent man?" Gaines blew off the question -- but SHOULD have said, "Tim, the question is, 'Is the whore press depicting Condit as an innocent man?' Of course not, Tim -- you're exploiting the story for ratings." Tim asked about cadaver dogs, then turned to the subject of incredible stewardess Anne Marie Smith and her claims that Condit wanted her to sign a false affidavit. Tim asked, "...is that obstruction of justice?"

Tim asked a series of questions about the evidence that the police have gathered -- including Internet chats and travel plans. Gaines gave the bottom line: there is no evidence yet of a crime, a lot to investigate and examine, and "nothing is off the table."

Tim then gave Levy family attorney Billy Martin about ten minutes to continue scandal-mongering. Now, sure, the family wants answers as to what happened -- but the sort of stunts Martin is pulling by appearing in every media venue he can glom onto is only going to prompt Condit to zip his lip even more securely. This is a losing strategy for the Levy family. Yes, we can understand their pain and worry over their daughter -- but their feelings are overriding common sense and giving the media a huge-ass opportunity to further tabloidize this already tawdry story, which is also causing the Condit family untold grief.

Tim made a lot out of Condit's alleged request for Chandra not to carry ID -- and Martin said he did not understand why.

Got news for both of you -- this is Standard Horndog Procedure in Washington, DC!

During the interview, Tim made about six references to America's Most Wanted. What the hell is going on here? Tim was openly shilling for an exploitative, proto-tabloid show on FOX that "recreates" crimes and has in truth helped solve many of them -- but has also fallen under no small amount of criticism from many in local and federal law enforcement for their depiction and reporting on many cases and tabloid-TV production practices.

Is Tim angling for a job over at FOX? Is NBC no longer right-slanted enough for him?

In fact, during the final segment, Tim interviewed the host of America's Most Wanted, John Walsh. Walsh naturally touted the show's success rate in crime-solving -- but then dropped a bombshell on the "get Condit" gang bang when he said that someone had been attempting to lure women into a van in the Dupont Circle area near where Levy lived on the day before she vanished. Walsh also indicated that there is evidence of a predator or stalker in the DC area victimizing women that fit Levy's profile.

And speaking of predators, Tim's other guest was Michael Isikoff -- the bottom-feeding and corrupt Newsleak... er, Newsweek magazine reporter who essentially took possession of audiotapes of predator Linda Tripp manipulating Monica Lewinsky from the Office of Independent Counsel through an intermediary -- to plug his new Newsleak cover story. Isikoff, a man whose seedy reputation is based entirely on sneaking his sticky fingers down the pants of Bill Clinton, belongs behind bars -- not in front of an NBC News camera.

Walsh called the Levy family "very brave... I've walked in their shoes" (Walsh lost his son to a murderous predator two decades ago). Now that may be true -- but it could be argued that the Levys are playing the press themselves and targeting Condit, who in fact may know nothing about Chandra Levy's disappearance.

The only thing Tim proved on today's Defeat the Press is that there's plenty of hypocrisy to go around -- on the part of conservative preacher-boy turned chick-magnet Condit, on the part of lawyer Billy Martin who seems all too willing to use the press to attack Condit using the understandable grief of the Levy family, on the part of DC police chief Terence Gainer acting as if his department was not leaking like a sieve to feed the hypocritical "serious" press's jones for tabloid sleaze and spin.

The irony of today's program is that the only person to come across well at all throughout the forty-five minutes of spinning Condit and Levy was FOX's John Walsh. He is a thousand percent sincere in his dedication to solving missing persons cases -- and dared to bring up possibilities that the sex-obsessed press would prefer not interfere with their pursuit of tabloid news.

Meanwhile, over at the bowels of CNN, it's...
The Hole-in-the-Head Gang

The gang comes riding out of the East today with all the thrills, chills, and spills we've come to expect. Democratic consultant Bob Shrum filled in for Margaret Carlson -- and provided a rare dose of confidence from the left.

The campaign finance debacle on the hill kicked off today's proceedings. The Gang showed footage of Gephardt, Hastert, and McCain -- Gephardt whining that the right just wanted to enact phony procedural rules that would kill it without a vote, Hastert saying it's "sad" and "wrong-minded" that the Dems want an issue, rather than a bill, and McCain saying he hoped people would "cool down" in order to get something done.

Will McCain prevail? What do you think, Kate O'Beirne?

He won't, she said, because he doesn't have enough votes. Because the Repugs wanted to debate all kinds of goofy amendments to the bill, McCain and Co. decided to let it go down rather than mess with all that. Kate thinks this is "gutless."

Al Hunt doesn't agree with Kate -- which I suggest is a pretty safe position to take 99% of the time, even if you don't know what her views are.

Hunt thinks the bill would have narrowly passed had it been allowed to come to a vote.

Blo-vak quoted Chancellor Bismark about laws being made being akin to watching sausage being made and again cranked up the "smear McCain" machinery, pillorying McCain for saying jokingly that Repubs that voted to kill his bill were "scoundrels."

Then Shrum stepped to the plate and told Blob that his analysis was a lot of "undercooked sausage." HA! That's close to what it is, but not quite. It's actually pre-digested sausage.

Shrum railed about the fact that this thing was not allowed to even see a vote, and said that what fat Denny Hastert did was "pure Bush-league tactics" and said that "you guys are going to keep attacking John McCain [count on that] and you're for sure going to lose the house because he's the ONLY reason you have it by that margin right now."

Right on, brother Shrum!

Shields stepped up and defended Gephardt by praising his courage in standing up to all the entrenched and influential interests and against the "comfortable arrangements" that are enjoyed by Novak and his minions.

Kate spewed the expected horse hockey about campaign finance reform being an "assault on free speech"

My ass! Hundreds of legal scholars and respected figures think it's definitely NOT.

Hunt started to make a point, Kate interrupted, and Al told her she was flat wrong. All kinds of crosstalk flared up. It was like The McLaughlin Gtroup, only less demented. Novak was shown for a split second and he looked as if he was in the process of venting some methane. Then he continued in trademark prissy style, saying that Shields should repeat what he said earlier on Evans, Novak, Hunt, and Shields. Shields was then compelled to repeat that some Republican pol had told him that Gephardt was a phony, which he then proceeded to explain was wrong.

A commercial break followed which -- amazingly and mercifully -- didn't contain the seizure-inducing (to me, at least) commercial ("Uhhh, at first we thought it was a sprained knee...") for Big Pharma.

We were then treated to a video clip of King Clueless at Ellis Island, reading the speech that, as Pete Hamill put it in an article, "would have taken him an entire semester to write on his own." The part in which he instructed a group of immigrant/props to raise their hands, rather than putting their hands over their hearts as is customary, was shown as well. Hamill also reported that this witless wonder asked the immigrants to join him in reciting, as the Chimp put it, the "pledge allegiance."

Now there might be a great number of Americans that might make those same mistakes. But a supposed President? Or is this just one more example of his being a "real" person, as his apologists say? Isn't that merely code for "garden variety dullard"? How refreshing, they seem to be saying, to have someone as stupid and shallow as that nitwit you used to work with (you know the guy) as leader of the free world.

Obviously, that's not refreshing. It's disturbing to 90% of the world. It's like finding it comforting to have a pilot come on the in-flight announcement and say, "I'm your pilot. I'm going to give an announcement. That's what pilots do. Give good, solid announcements. Welcome to flight --- um ---er --- uh --- 17 --- 17--- 1735 to um --- er --- is it Tucson, Karl? Tucson, Nevada. (It's ARIZONA, dope!) Oh! Like I said, Tucson, Alabama. We're cruising at 17,000 feet. No wait! 27 --- THIRTY seven thousand feet. I knew that. Heh, heh, heh. Thirty seven thousand feet? Wow! Really? Is that it Karl? OK. God bless you good hard-working people, I know how hard it is to stow your families in the overhead storage compartments and keep your children in the upright and locked position. In case of emergency, a tax rebate check will descend from the panel over your heads. This is a faith-based flight. God bless 'Murrica. (Turn off the mic!) How? (Take your thumb off the button!) Oh yeah. I knew that. Heh, heh, heh. 10-5, under and out! Heh, heh, heh. 67 hundred thousand feet? Really? (CLICK)"

Just makes ya want to kick back and leave the driving to the Texas Twit, doesn't it?

El Drippo was shown announcing his phony sop to prescription drug benefits as well. Guess the big pharma companies figured they better get out in front on this one and offer some goofy pittance and then spend more millions on campaigns to convince everyone that this is actually a real program that benefits anyone in any meaningful way. Then they can short circuit any REAL prescription benefits.

The question that's been answered a million times so far was put to the panel. Is Bush really fit to be president?

Hunt says that nothing's changed, there's still great concern as to whether corporate America's puppet can "fill the office."

Hell, I seriously wonder if he could fill out a raffle ticket.

Hunt said the Frightened Flake is comfortable talking about tax cuts, energy policy, and education, but is about as comfortable talking about health care as Novak is talking about poor people. HA, HA! Hunt went on to point out that this is (yet another) issue that the Flake doesn't know beans about, doesn't comprehend, and can't address.

Shields threw it to Sunbeam Novak by saying that Novak DOES know poor people, since he has many working for him!

Bob likes this tiny little idea of help with prescription drugs. He thinks that it's not "wrecking" the pharma industry (as if Smirk would allow that!) and it's not heavy government spending, then went off the rails by saying that the left-wingers and socialists, "including those on this panel" love it.

Bubbly Bob then made one of his fairly frequent Freudian slips. He said that the polls showing that America was waking up to the fact that the Chimp is a fraud mean nothing, and that Dim Son is "about where he ought to be. He wasn't in great trouble two weeks ago, and he's not in terribly good shape now." HAHAHA! This was obviously the comedy segment!

Kate tried to say that Bush is getting "high marks" on education and tax cuts and health care. Huh? Are you hearing voices from outer space, Kate?

I complained last week that people like Kate actually get paid for spouting such incredible nonsense. I've now come to realize that she earns every penny. Imagine how hard it must be to come up with something that sounds even remotely sane (which it often doesn't) to defend or legitimatize and praise the unpopular, short-sighted, corporate controlled White House?

I know I couldn't do it. And no amount of money could get me to expose myself to looking downright ridiculous week after week (though I do it more often than that for free). How much is forfeiting your self respect and credibility worth? Kate deserves whatever she's getting.

Then she tip-toed into one of the weirdest spins I've heard in a long time. It was obvious that even she was embarrassed to say it, but she was just stumped for ideas, and we all know the conservative drill by now: when in doubt, whip Bill out.

Kate tried to say that there's still an "echo" of Bill Clinton (only in your dreams, Kate) and that, in light of the Condit scandal, the Dim Wit in charge might benefit from a "Condit bounce" in his poll numbers. She suggests that this is since people see this "nice guy" in the White House that "seems to be behaving himself." Sheesh! Save money on Ipecac syrup, people. Keep a tape of Kate in your medicine cabinet instead. Accidentally swallow some poison? Pop in the tape and it will all come up instantly.

Just HOW much longer can you try to milk this "contrast with Clinton" thing? It's insane! This is the best they can say about their moron is that he's "not Clinton?" I think most people are aware enough to see that he's clearly no Bill Clinton, and but in every increasing numbers, then now WISH HE WAS!!

Shrum shot back to O'Beirne, well prepared and armed with some good zingers. "With all due respect to my friend, Kate is absurd!" (I'm digging this guy.) The same polls Kate cited say that by 67 to 26 percent, people believe big business has too much influence in the Dick and Dork show. (Ya think??) He said that HE doesn't love the White House's phony pharma bill (contrary to Bob's earlier assertion) and pointed out that the pharma companies are free to raise prices to cover this benefit. Shrum said that the White House called this phony sop to the public an "immediate helping hand" when what it's really a "sleight of hand." Because the former governor of Texas broke the budget on his tax give away, there's not enough money to pay for a decent drug benefit program. Because of this, Shrum says, the Dems are going to win the next election by saying that instead of a huge tax break for the very wealthiest in the country, we instead ought to have a real prescription drug benefit plan that works.

Sunbeam Bob got smarmy by accusing Shrum, who just returned from England where he helped Tony Blair to a landslide victory, of wanting to bring socialism to the United States.

Perish the thought, Bob! We wouldn't want to knock your plutocratic ruling elite off their perches to provide a better life to millions. We all know this country exists to provide for the care and feeding of the tiny fraction of the population who are the very wealthiest and most powerful.

Shrum then cut Novak off by reminding him that Tony Blair is doing quite a bit better than Georgie Boy. He managed to point out that the Knuckledragger and his minions have totally lost control of the agenda. (Thank God!) Stem cell research was endorsed by Nancy Reagan, and Shrum shrewdly said that the bogus POTUS should listen to Nancy instead of Karl "Obergrupenführer" Rove and "just say yes" to stem cell research.

Onward and downward we go. China awarded the 2008 Olympics.

Ari "Sliminator" Fleisher appeared on the screen explaining to us that our "President" considers the Olympics a sporting event. Wow. I was encouraged by this evidence of Junior's intellect. At least he doesn't think the Olympics are some mountains out in the Pacific northwest, and I'm grateful to Ari for letting the world know this. It's reassuring in this crazy mixed up world so full of uncertainty.

Not only that, but Puddin' Head also doesn't think the Olympics are political. Well, nothing involving dozens of nations from around the world EVER is. He shows quite a bit of sophistication in realizing this. (Moron!)

But the Chimp hasn't gone soft on China. Oh, no! Not after the frenzy and frothing about how Clinton had received campaign contributions from some figures with tenuous ties to China, not after the constant shouts of treason though all of that. Ari let's us know how hard-nosed Smirk can be when he tells us that his boss considers this as an "opportunity for China to showcase itself as a modern nation."

How impressive! That sure lays down the law in no uncertain terms, doesn't it? Don't tread on me!

What is utterly transparent in all of this, of course, is the fact that Smirk's corporate handlers don't want to tick off the "repressive and dictatorial" Chinese leadership, lest they lose all those lucrative contracts that may or may not materialize in the future.

Repeat after me, "Profit above all, including the well being of American workers and human rights and anything else you might throw in there."

Novakula thinks China is a great nation and deserves the Olympics. He thinks that China might have been "mad" if they hadn't gotten them, and now they'll behave themselves and won't invade Taiwan. (Snort!)

Kate read a laundry list of disgraceful abuses China is guilty of (including 1751 executions in the past year -- betcha George is green with envy) and said it was wrong to award the Olympics to them.

Al Hunt agreed.

Shrum said that Novak probably thought 1700 executions was an asset, not a liability for China, and Novak essentially agreed. Shrum then mentioned that China wouldn't invade Taiwan no matter if they'd have gotten the Olympics or not.

Bob, apparently thinking this would be a great argument proving how nice China is, said, "Did you know that they started allowing Christian missionaries in for the first time in 50 years?" This was greeted by a collective yawn from everyone.

Hey Bob, that's great. Let's hope they have a little better luck than they had among the "savage" Native Americans, Africans, and South Americans. We all know how missionaries have always signaled the beginning of the destruction of entire peoples and cultures they set out to "save" -- a harbinger of ruin, strife, and death for the people they seek to convert. If I were China, I'd sure be glad to see them coming. NOT!

Shields brought a very interesting proposal. Since this is all about opening up China for Smirk's corporate minders, why not have the "Official China Olympic cattle prod", or the "Official Beijing attack dogs", or as Kate suggested, "souvenir human organs." Good one! Shields pointed out that not only are there 1751 executions, but there are supposedly 8000 lungs, hearts, and kidneys harvested on the black market.

Novak got condescending and said, "There's no future in China bashing, it's unintelligent, and I expect more from you than that." What a clod.

This got Shields hot under the collar and he fired back at Novak, saying that Bob should tell China that they should stop deserving criticism and censure for what they do to their own people, that they brutalize their own people, "and I know it, and you know it too!" Bombastic Bob sat there with a look of undisguised contempt while Shields tore him a new one, continuing, "and if this wasn't driven by profit and markets, you'd have a different position!"

All the ignominious Prince of Darkness could do was to meekly say, "It's getting better." At this point, Shields howled, "Ohhhhh! I've been hearing that same song from you, Johnny One Note, for ten years!!"

Shrum jumped in and asked that if there's so much freedom of religion there, why don't the Chinese let the Pope pick Catholic bishops rather than the head of the Communist Party, as is the case now? Novak said, "A deal could be made on that in 5 minutes," which set off even more howls of derision.

Novak and his ilk don't even have to be near correct. Their opinions don't have to be based on anything resembling reality. As long as it is in service of ever greater profit margins for ever fewer entities, all is forgiven, and he's richly rewarded for abandoning his integrity and character and spouting the corporate line.

After the Capital Gang "bad acid flashback," they thanked Bob Shrum for appearing, and Novakula told Bob that he wanted to tell him that we are heading for a SECOND Bush one-term presidency. If there's any justice in the universe, and people don't sit on their butts next election, that heartening prediction just might come true. Ahhhhh, won't it be sweet? The only dark lining to that cloud is that there had to be a second Bush term at all!

A news break followed. D.C. police "looking around" in photo-op search sessions for Chandra Levy. A rocket blasting off in a faked-up, irrelevant and inconclusive test of the bogus "Star Wars" missile defense/defense contractor enrichment program that occurred last night.

And then -- sink holes in Florida. Cool. Finally, some guy appeared in front of a map telling me that there was weather going on today in America.

Very enlightening.

Heading up the second half, Al Hunt interviewed Kwesi Mfume, president of the NAACP. Apparently no one told "Sliminator" Fleisher last week when he made a statement critical of remarks made by Julian Bond, who is the new director of the NAACP. Bond had made a reference to the Taliban wing of the Republican party. Slimenator said that remarks such as Bond's were never made when Mfume was president of the NAACP. Well, he still is, Ari. So much for this administration being run by "grown ups."

They touched on whether the Democrats are going to have problems holding on to the black vote. Mfume drew a parallel between the period after emancipation, when over 90% of blacks voted Republican, to when they swung to the Democrats because the Republicans took them for granted. He hinted that this may be happening to the Democrats today.

Al Hunt finds it stunning that for all of the Smirking Chimp's bloviating about "uniting" people, after 6 months in office he's STILL not met with either the head of the AFL/CIO or the head of the NAACP.

Kate thinks Bush would "make a mistake to meet with this phony" Mfume. She also smeared Mary Frances Berry, the courageous and just head of the U.S. Civil Rights Commission investigation of election fraud in Florida, as a "phony" as well, saying that the Civil Rights Commission was "thoroughly discredited."

Not yet, Kate: you have to keep repeating that lie a few thousand more times. The Commission actually places the blame where it should be -- squarely on the shoulders of Jeb Bush and the unethical, clueless, and inept Katharine Harris for their many demonstrated and proven actions on their parts that resulted in black voters' ballots being 20 times more likely NOT to be counted. Just because they expose this fact to the light of day does NOT mean that they're partisan or deserving of being "discredited." Just because you and the other far right thugs say it's so, doesn't make it so.

Kate called Julian Bond's remarks a "vicious, hate-filled" attack, even though she couldn't tell you exactly whom it was directed at if you asked her.

The Gang Bang then turned to the Condit "affair." I don't even want to touch this topic with someone else's ten foot pole. As someone wrote recently, wake me up when this is all over. I feel this story is in the tabloid frenzy stage now, and it's not helping to solve the case.

Then came the Outrages of the Week!

Shields: China getting the Olympics. As do many people, Shields feels that a country that brutalizes their own citizens, terrorizes their neighbors, and destabilizes the world with nuclear transfers should NOT be rewarded with this plum event simply because of corporate interests.

Novak: Bob is outraged about an economic subject. Surprise! He's out after "Crazy" Al Greenspan cutting interest rates again. Bob says Al only asks for assistants that are "yes men." He is pissed because Bush let Al pick a guy that Bob doesn't like as an assistant.

O'Beirne: Kate's chapped because a fitness run at a military base in Miami was cancelled supposedly because a female soldier complained that her feelings were hurt due to the fact that she was slow and was ridiculed by faster runners.

Al Hunt: Hearing Newt Gingrich chastise Gary Condit stuck in Al's craw. He reminded us of what an insensitive schmuck Newty was to his FIRST wife when he delivered divorce papers the day she got out of cancer surgery, and how he led the feigned outrage against Clinton's affair while actively carrying on one himself with a member of his staff at the time.

We feel your pain, Al. Republican hypocrites are so thick in Washington and elsewhere that you can't swing a dead cat without hitting one anymore.

-- Dash Riprock

Morrie Friendly is a political consultant, retired advisor to GOP officials, and gifted golf hustler who lives in Washington and just sold his home in the Virginia suburbs -- to a Democrat!
Dave "Doctor" Gonzo quit his job as a disgruntled entertainment industry executive to become a disgruntled political commentator.
Dash Riprock is a self-unemployed character based in Moline, IL who looks forward to not getting a tax "rebate." You can reach out and touch Mr. Riprock at dashriprockapj@hotmail.com He reminds his readers to follow the Webb Wilder credo: Work hard. Rock hard. Eat hard. Sleep hard. Grow big! Wear glasses if you need 'em.