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November 3, 2001 -- WASHINGTON (APJP) -- The Doc figures the APJ readership needs a break from Osama, anthrax, and the Smirking Imbecile's disturbing attempts to look "presidential" every time he gets within schmoozing distance of school children.
Come to think of it, if he's the target of what he calls the "tairists" he's declared war against, why the hell is he placing kids in danger too?
But I digress -- although not too much. It's enough to make you cringe these days to see Republicans in action. If they're not contradicting their own words with their actions, they're busy coming up with other ways to show their true "values".
After all, actions speak louder than words -- and nobody "speaks" Orwellian quite like your garden variety conservative Republicans.
Case in point: the bizarre and disturbing tale of one Randy Ankeney.
Now, unless you're from Colorado, chances are you've never heard the name -- especially when you consider the fact that this particular bit of news emerged mere days before a group of faux-Islamic nutcase hijackers slammed fully-fueled passenger jets into the World Trade Center and Pentagon.
So sit back, relax, and let The Doc fill in a few of the seamy details.
Mr. Ankeney is described in an article in the September 6, 2001 online edition of the Rocky Mountain News as "a fixture in El Paso County Republican politics until his arrest in July in a sex scandal involving a young girl." The article fills in a few more details: he named his dogs Reagan and Nixon, and was active in coordinating election campaigns for local and state Republicans. He had worked since last November as one of Colorado Governor Owens' economic development representatives.
Ankeney is also thought by The Doc's sources in Colorado to have possible ties to the notorious Rev. Jim Dobson of Focus on [Abusing] the Family infamy; other sources tell The Doc that Ankeney's father, Dave Ankeney, is a member of Fellowship Bible Church in Colorado Springs and New Life Church, pastored by a Dobson protégé, Ted Haggard (Dobson himself attends Nazarene Church Eastborough in Colorado Springs).
Yessireebob, it sure sounds like Ankeney must be one morally upstanding guy, at least according to the hypocritical GOP definition -- if you're familiar with the conduct of such "morally upstanding" Republicans as Newt Gingrich, Tim Hutchinson, Bob Livingston and "O.J." Watts, you know exactly where The Doc is coming from.
In fact, Randy Ankeney stands accused of serving alcohol and marijuana to a 13-year-old girl he hooked up with through the Internet, signing on with the screen name "coloradofella".
The girl told officials that Ankeney photographed her topless, but she became frightened when he tried to take off her pants and asked her to touch him.
The best Ankeney's lawyer, Kevin Donovan, could say at the time was that the girl's affidavit contains a "number of misstatements," and Ankeney will plead not guilty. Ankeney himself declined to comment, and resigned his state job.
And his fellow GOPers are scrambling for cover -- according to the Rocky Mountain News story published online on September 6th:
McElhany said he was surprised to learn his colleagues considered him Ankeney's "mentor."
"Really?" he said. "I knew him, of course, but that's because he was involved in a lot of campaigns around here."
...not to mention a lot more than campaigns!
The politician Ankeney is reputedly closest to, state Rep. Bill Cadman (R-Colorado Springs) was, according to the Rocky Mountain News, "reluctant to comment".
But what makes this story particularly interesting is the Orwellian manner in which Colorado pols in the GOP are handling the story -- they're turning Ankeney into an "unperson," at least on the World Wide Web.
When the story went public, two of Colorado's governmental web sites immediately purged references to Ankeney.
A source close to Colorado politics discovered that references to Ankeney had been erased from the Colorado Office of Economic Development Staff web site -- but we have the cached page that shows him listed at the end of June.
A press release announcing his appointment by Governor Owens was also "disappeared" from the state's web site -- but again, we obtained a cached version.
Delightful, isn't it? Sure, it's easy to understand members of either political party wanting to keep a little bit of distance between themselves and pols accused of crimes and perceived as "radioactive -- but the outright "un-person-ing" of Randy Ankeney brings "distancing" to a new and ominous level.
But then, what else would you expect from the party behind Iran-Contra, the phony impeachment "scandal", or the outright theft of the presidency from its rightful winner, Al Gore?
'Nuff said.
Copyright © 2001, 2000, 1999, 1998, 1997, 1996, American Politics Journal Publications, Inc.
