American Politics Journal

Osama's Funniest Home Videos
By Steve Young

Dec. 14, 2001 -- Los Angeles -- While anyone who has access to a map of Afghanistan (or knows what a cave is) is chasing the twenty-five million dollar prize hung on one particular Satan's dome, the morticians' best friend himself, Dumber-than-a-llama-Osama, seems to be after Vin d'Bona's $10,000.00 first prize -- or at least a shot on Animal Planet's America's Favorite Pets.

Okay, it's not as funny as a dog "Pushing a rock. Pushing a rock!" or some guy getting popped in the crotch (gets me all the time).

But it's sure to have more shock value.

Can you think of another reason why the brilliant mastermind of death and destruction, who has led to death so many Americans AND even more of his own people, would be so blithering STUPID as to leave this smoking tape laying around for world-wide consumption?

It's like O.J. leaving his victims' blood on the steering wheel of his car. You just don't do that. You'll end up getting yourself convicted. I mean it.

Perhaps there's some more nefarious reason for what seems like a fatal blunder; for someone to be so absolutely sloppy with damning "evidence." I offer the following possibilities

1. It's some type of marketing move to get this 40 minute tape into a U.S. Film Festival as a short film entry.

2. Osama is trying to show up Hitler.

3. It's a pilot for the new FOX reality show, You Think You're A Maniacal Idiot?

4. He's using this as a dating tape for "After You've Written To Lifers, Try Us" escort service?

5. It's some kind of challenge to Johnny Cochran, which says, "You think you're so great? Try and get ME off!"

6. It's a last ditch effort to nail down the Time Man Of The Year cover... or maybe Mad Magazine Man Of The Year.

7. He wanted to send a message to potential Taliban soldiers reminding them that when you take on a job for Osama you'd better find out if there's an expiration date on your job description...and it's the same day as your job!

But no matter what the reason...even Bob Saget has more sense than to touch this one.

Steve Young, Prism Award winner and Humanitas Prize nominee for his television writing, is contributing editor at the Writers Guild of America's "Written By" magazine and author of the forthcoming "Great Failures Of The Extremely Successful," Tallfellow Press, 2002. Steve can be read regularly in his column at
newsandopinion.com. Email Steve at theeothersteveyoung@juno.com