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Contact Information for Pundit String-Pullers |
Sunday, January 13, 2002, 12:00 PM EST (APJP) -- With each passing day, more and more news about the exploding Enrongate scandal emerges. It looks poised to become a matter that will dog former Texas Governor George W. Bush and his team of handlers that presently occupies the Oval Office and West Wing.
Naturally, the Sunday shows -- with the unremarkable exception of The McLaugh-In Group, made it the top issue of the weekend. Other matters that bubbled to the top included the bizarre lovefest between Shrub and Sen. Ted Kennedy and the next direction or directions the continuing war to shore up the oil business... um, we mean, the war on terrorism would take.
And in an unusual development, there was actually mention of the dumbest political move of the week -- Little George's outright lie concerning Kenneth Lay and the fallout. Of all places to hear this matter discussed, "immoderators" on the Shrub-friendly FAUX News Sunday and CNN Late Edition both brought up the matter. In the latter case, Wolf Blitzer asked Tom Ridge -- but gave him plenty of leeway to try to spin the story, and asked a marshmallow "follow-up" that essentially said that it's a non-issue.
Come on. Bush LIED to the American People. If Gore were president, "Liar! Liar!" that's ALL we'd be hearing from the network's evening newscasts and the 24-hour-a-day "news" outlets.
Here's more of what we saw.
FAUX News Sunday
"From the Toast of Houston to toast!"
"Did Enron executives break the law?...Did politicians?" Well, what a pleasant surprise! Tony Snow would indeed tackle Enrongate as "issue one" on FNS -- no doubt trying to distance the Shrub's handlers from Ken Lay, and certainly not under that name. If anything, we expected to hear the word "scandal" used once or twice, but only in the context of "this is a business scandal, not a political scandal, there is no Bush scandal, what GOP-Enron scandal?"
First (as always in the wake of Sept. 11), Tony did his requisite "update on America at (ho-hum) war." Bottom line: no Osama, no Mullah Omar yet, but tons of intelligence.
Then immediately on to the collapse of Enron -- Tony took pains to blame the "already weak economy" as a factor in "the largest [business] collapse in history" with "intrigue" surrounding e-mails from Ken Lay and possible insider trading.
Ooooooh! Intrigue! How -- well, intriguing -- that FAUX is looking for anything but the word "scandal" to describe Enrongate!
Tony then greeted his first guest, Treasury Secretary Paul "I'm Still Here!" O'Neill -- and gave him a chance to "defend" himself against the taint of scandal, asking if Lay asked him anything untoward in the course of telephone calls to O'Neill. He said no...until Tony quizzed O'Neill about the propriety of a CEO calling him for technical advice on the legality of derivatives trading! O'Neill immediately diverted attention to all the work he's done with Congress on peripheral issues.
But the "damage" was done. This would be the ideal way for the Bushistas to dispose of the scandal and O'Neill: paint him as the bad guy who did something, anything "unethical" in his dealings with Lay.
O'Neill admitted he "cannot recall" the substance of a second phone conversation he had Lay, which took place the day after the first, but did mention an October call in which Lay said Enron was being investigated by various agencies. O'Neill said that given "the war on terror and all", he didn't feel it important to let the White House know about their chief financier's calls!
Was O'Neill surprised about the collapse of Enron's share value? O'Neill said "I guess, no" as he proceeded with the egregious blather of the week: a screed espousing the "genius" of laissez-faire capitalism and its risky nature.
In other words, if a company engages in possibly criminal money-shuffling, then shreds documents that cover up wrongdoing and possibly government complicity, with the consequence being thousands of people seeing their life savings and retirement funds wiped out -- well, that's sheer genius! Count on O'Neill being torn apart by BOTH sides of the aisle for that ill-considered outburst.
Tony tried to compare Enron to Long Term Capitol, the Greenwich, Connecticut-based derivatives trading outfit that nearly dragged down Wall Street not too long ago; O'Neill tried to tear the comparison apart. O'Neill continuously asserted that Treasury "had done the right thing" and is looking for ways that could prevent workers from being disadvantaged if they have tons of retirement money in company stock and their company fails.
But O'Neill missed a chance to refute Tony's implicit point: business regulation of both Enron and Long Term Capitol failed.
Tony then confronted O'Neill with the sense that O'Neill (and others) took a "hear no evil, see no evil" attitude toward the calls from Lay and other Enron poobahs -- and accused O'Neill of being reluctant to discuss the calls with the bogus POTUS. Now that's kind of ironic, since the opposite would also be a troubling scenario (i.e. O'Neill shilling for Lay to Smirk). Tony also brought up Henry Waxman's calls for investigation of a lying Lay e-mail to employees about the future value of Enron stock -- and O'Neill had the nerve to dismiss Waxman's sticking up for the little guy: "You'll have to ask Ken Lay...what he had in mind when he sent that e-mail!"
That's e-mails, plural, O'Neill -- and you can bet that Lay's going to be grilled about that little matter!
O'Neill admitted to a sophisticated knowledge of the mechanics of derivatives, highly risky and volatile investment devices. Well, isn't that special! Now there's something Congress can ask O'Neill about!
And, of course, by admitting so, O'Neill may be setting himself up to an even greater degree as Twig's "fall guy".
There was a little inconsequential chat about George's recession about seven minutes into the interview -- and then O'Neill was outta there.
We were pretty surprised. In the midst of pressure from right wingers and even players in the Cheney-Card Misadministration, O'Neill had looked pretty good last week when he defended the Bogus POTUS's economic policies and tax cuts. This week, though, he looked and sounded terrible -- defensive and even evasive. He used too many "umms" and "errrs" in his answers.
Put him back on the "endangered" list -- and look for him to take the early blame if any "evildoing" is discovered at Club Smirk.
Following commercials for FAUX entertainment, Rep. John Dingell said that he wants to investigate "Enron's behavior and Andersen's behavior" -- along with the administration's connections to Enron, especially their push for deregulation.
Here's a hint: Enron NEEDED deregulation to survive!
Brit Hume asked if Dingell wanted separate investigations of Enron's fall and Enron's influence, and Dingell said "It all ties together." Hume, interestingly, did not challenge Dingell. Dingell then slammed Enron on the implications of th 401(k) meltdown and the company's cozy relation with the Arthur Andersen auditing firm.
Rep. Tom Davis, a prime Republican stooge, first whipped out a poorly-written Washington Post op-ed that claimid Dems are "losing the mid-term advantage" (which is baloney) and then went on the defensive: "We haven't learned that there's any impropriety on the part of the administration."
Oh, really, Tom-Bob? What about Smirk's LIE about Ken Lay supporting Ann Richards in '94? He lied to the American people. He violated his oath of office.
Dingell admitted that Enron gave him $10,500 -- but then said he has contributed the bucks to a fund to help Enron pensioners who lost everything. He challenged fellow pols to do so. Hume commented that Dingell did not support Enron's positions -- and called their campaign contributions "a poor investment." Hume then asked if Dingell would call ex-Clinton team member Bob Rubin, who had made calls on behalf of Enron. Dingell said yes. Good, we say.
Tony called Congressional investigations "token help" foir those who lost their pensions, which gave Davis a chance to look as if he wants a rigorous investigation of Enrongate -- was there illegality and impropriety, he asked, and do we need new regulations?
Ouch, Davis -- the Cato Institute and the Club for Growth won't like that!
Dingell echoed Davis from a more probing perspective, making note of the "massive" destruction of records. Davis said "there is no evidence" of impropriety by anyone in the Administration. Dingell said he does not want to make this a partisan issue.
We guess Dingell in fact wants to make this a "take back the House" issue after the REAL buffalo chips hit the fan. Dingell was also alluding to the possibility that a present-day Howard Baker may emerge to put Team Twig's heels to the fire (hint: don't look to the House, but think Sens. Lincoln Chafee, Arlen Spector and Olympia Snowe, all of whom have been made to feel like outsiders by 1600 Pennsylvania).
Panel time -- does either political party have an advantage? Hume called it a "bipartisan scandal" and mentioned that democrats also took Enron money (but Hume DARED not detail the statistics, including the fact that since '94 Lay himself gave half a million simoleans in soft cash to the GOP and nothing to Dems, a fact that demolishes his weak spin); Mara Liasson said the same thing; Fred "The Weasel" Barnes said that a "scandal" would require quid pro quos and there's no evidence of that so far, but Juan debunked this by mentioning the Shrub's and GOP's sweeping push for deregulation (and de facto price-fixing). Hume tried to claim that the job of the media is to show HOW this differs from a scandal (what a laugh -- it is the job of the media to propagandize and put up cover for Smirk, he means), but Tony said that there are questions about Enron's influence over energy policy.
Then followed a great moment -- Brit ADMITTED that the death of Vince Foster was a suicide. Got that, Chris Ruddy? Taking notes, ScaifeMax? How about all you Freepers?
Juan Williams essentially slammed the lapdog media with a snide comment: "...who could IMAGINE that there would be a scandal in the Bush Administration?"
We took a brief break when Tony cut away to some guy named Geraldo reporting from Somalia, and reclaimed the recliner when Tony asked the panel about the progress in the "war on terror", saying that the possibility that cells are re-forming contrasts with the notion that Afghanistan's pretty well clean; Hume said there still is a threat; Mara said the conventional part of the war is over, and now it's up to special forces to mop up; Barnes wants America to attack Iraq while the memories of the September 11th attacks are fresh.
To our surprise, Juan agreed -- even as he said that there will be little international support for such an initiative. There was some talk about the news that one of the Sept. 11th hijackers had been stopped for speeding in the late summer of last year, the thrust of which was that there are gaps between agencies when it comes to information sharing.
Well, come on, what the hell do you expect? With right-wing thugs like Injustice Minister John "KKKrisko" Ass-KKKroft, who refuses to let agencies share data on gun sales and seeks to downsize enforcement unless it comes to abortions and public protests, it's no wonder that not only are there gaps, but that things are in fact getting worse -- all to shore up a specious interpretation of Second Amendment "rights".
After a commercial break (featuring a spot for the best news program on the FAUX flagship network's prime-time schedule, The X Files), there was talk of Smirk's recess appointments. Mara called it partisan bickering, and Hume demeaned Bill Lan Lee as he boosted Gene "Conflict of Interest" Scalia and said Otto Reich had not come up for a hearing. Barnes talked about Bush's fake approval numbers. Juan, God bless him, slammed ultra-right-winger and anti-human-rights activist Reich for his illegal use of State Department funds. Hume then asked why Dodd did not bring it up for hearings, and Juan said it was wrong for Dodd not to.
But they're both wrong. Dodd didn't bring Reich up for a hearing because he is not only simply not qualified but bad for relations with our hemispheric neighbors. In fact, there's no reason that Dodd can't hold hearings concerning Reich, expose his illegal activities, and with any luck get his Neo-Fascist ass fired and indicted.
Finally, there was edited footage of Shrub singing Ted Kennedy's praises; Barnes is all upset that "Kennedy is backing Daschle" on budget and taxation issues (essentially lying about Daschle's position on a tax giveback repeal) ; Mara clarified the situation, saying that Ted's going to call for a repeal the tax cuts for the rich. There was some screaming about the tax cuts -- Tony said he thought his head would explode!
Right -- but more over the fact that the rich may have to pay their fair share of taxes again!
In a nod to FAUX's real moneymaker -- their sports cable operation -- there was some debate about the franchise name "Redskins" in an effort to dismiss political correctness.
Tony's final word dealt with the notorious "hockey dad" who was found guilty of manslaughter, replete with plenty of hand-wringing about "values".
Oh, we see -- when you're from Boston, you have no values, but when you're the parent of a kid from conservative-leaning Florida who crashes a plane into a building, you'll get no media scrutiny for your "permissiveness" or "bad parenting".
-- Dave "Doctor" Gonzo
McLaugh-In
Issue one: Party Animal!
Holy cow -- madman John McLaugh-In decided to make the most important issue of the week George W. Smirk's fundraising on behalf of his crooked brother, Jeb Crow (he called Tom Daschle "a shiv-wielding street fighter in his own right", which will surprise rank-and-file Democrats who think he's a spineless milquetoast).
Did Daschle succeed in taking Bush down a notch?
John Fund tried to say something, but the moment we saw his face, we had to laugh out loud.
It looks like he's trying to return to TV following his so-called "book leave" from the Street Wall Urinal... excuse me, Wall Street Journal. Fund was the subject of an article by John Connelly on the weaselsearch.com site back in September of last year -- an article that focused on "Mister Morality" having allegedly forced his live-in girlfriend (the daughter of a woman with whom he was involved at that) to get an abortion at the height of the political attacks on then-President Clinton's private life (attacks which Fund himself was making), along with the transcript of the taped conversation between Fund and the woman.
Fund has also been the focus of intense online gossip in recent weeks, including rumors of major trouble between the hard-right editorialist and that same girlfriend, particularly on the Capitol Grilling web site. Threads on this site concerning Fund tend to get yanked just as the juiciest details get posted -- including claims that police case numbers involving visits to Fund's apartment following calls by the woman in question have surfaced in law enforcement databases, that Fund has been cheating on said live-in girlfriend, that he's been cracking up. One that hasn't been removed seems to imply that the so-called leave is actually graceful cover for his dismissal from the print paper.
The truth is, it's no surprise to see McLaugh-In trying to "rehabilitate" a shamed conservative bad boy. John McLaughlin also welcomed Larry "Laffer Curve" Kudlow after his bout with, and laudable breaking of, addiction; similarly, FAUX News Channel has provided a haven for Dick "Can I Pay to Lick Your Toes" Morris and Newt "Poontang Express" Gingrich. You see, in the Bizarro World of incestuous conservative pundit gang-bangers, there is no sin -- unless you can label the alleged malfeasor a "liberal."
Eleanor Clift said the present economic disaster lands in Chimp Boy's lap. John M said he thought Bush would reply during his State of the Union address; Tony Blankley LIED both when he said Daschle "did not have all his ducks in a row" (i.e. Dem support) and that Dems were fleeing (well, why is Ted Kennedy calling for a repeal of tax givebacks for the rich?). Larry O'Donnell believes that Smirk knows he "cannot reclaim" his 84% approval rating.
What a laugh -- in real, scientific polls that deal with a broad array of issues, the Texas Dauphin's favorability score just barely cracked 60% after the Sept. 11th attacks and has plummeted since.
And John M even mentioned that the failure to get Osama already is seen as a failure of the war; Tony said that Afghanistan is Osama's Dunkirk; Eleanor said that the Misadministration has stopped talking about Osama, people are less interested in the war on terrorism, and the economy is emerging as the big issue. Tony, sounding panicked, tried in vain to argue that America is focused on the war.
Then -- the REAL issue one: "Enron erupted". Fund claimed that it's a business and legal story, predicting people will go to jail, and claimed "there's no smoking gun".
What a laugh -- "no smoking gun"? Bush's lie about his relationship with Ken Lay sure smells smoky to me, abortion boy!
Oddly, Larry O'Donnell echoed Fund, and then asked about which Democrats got calls from Enron -- hinting the story would break soon. Eleanor said that when the top execs of a company are buddy-buddy with Team Smirk and make millions then see it go bust, the story has tentacles all over the place and it will have an impact. Even John M said that Cheney is withholding documents, but Tony, sounding less panicked, said that the White House brings in hundreds of people, but Cheney made a mistake in withholding the papers. Fund said something, but we were so damn busy laughing at him we didn't hear it. Is it a bipartisan scandal? Fund, embroiled in scandal himself, again said it's a business scandal.
Will Enrongate become Smirk's Whitewater?
Fund conceded: If there is a cover-up.
Eleanor: They already covered up phone calls -- there are numerous probes going on, this will be a big distraction.
Tony (responding to John's comment about Ass-KKKroft's recusal): It'll be a distraction, I don't think there's a cover-up.
Larry: The scandal is an accounting scandal -- Arthur Andersen gave money to Democrats! (Hey, Larry -- their chairman turns out to be a $100,000 "Pioneer" fundraiser for the Texas Dauphin -- funny how you FORGOT that).
John: A mini-scandal!
Issue two: Smirk and Ted Kennedy -- Washington's new power couple! Kennedy, according to John M, supported Twig's "edjamacation" bill -- but the truth is, His Fraudulence saw his original "destroy public schools" legislation get demolished. Tony boosted the bill as emblematic of some sort of new bipartisanship. Eleanor pointed out that Kennedy won't run for President (in essence, Kennedy's the good cop, Daschle the bad cop). John, who could see that Enrongate had turned his issues on their head, talked about all sorts of events in the news; Tony said that the "Kennedy play" is "fascinating because it takes the edge off Democrat" criticism (somehow Tony omitted the fact that Smirk's original bill was gutted). We just barely heard through our laughter that Fund predicted the most gridlocked Congress in a long time.
Predictions -- who is helped the most!
Fund: Bipartisanship
Eleanor: Dems
Tony: Both
Larry: Both
John: John McCain!
-- Dave "Doctor" Gonzo
Face the Nation
Schieffer puts the heat on Enron
The main focus of Face the Nation was the emerging Enrongate scandal.. Bob Schieffer's guests: Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), ranking Republican on the Senate Commerce Committee, and Sen. Joe Lieberman (D-CT).
Lieberman said that subpoenas were already being issued in the Enrongate matter -- the questions: how did this happen? Where were the people who should have been preventing this?
Schieffer said that many at Enron supported the present administration -- what do you need to know from the Bush team? Lieberman said that he needed to know what the administration had and had not done and when they did (or didn't) do it; there is also the issue of Enron's influence over energy policy and appointments (and, by implication, oversight and regulation).
Gloria Borger asked McCain whether the Smirk Team should not hold their own investigation; McCain said he's sure they are. Should there be full disclosure of communications? Yes, said McCain, segueing into the fact that thousands of people lost their retirement money; had this been a hurricane, that would've been one thing, but if people (i.e. at Enron and Andersen) did not prevent this, that's another matter.
Schieffer quoted O'Neill's earlier blather on FAUX News Sunday: "Companies come and go... that's the genius of capitalism", along with his claim that it's the responsibility of the company, not the government, when it comes to shareholders. McCain said this is NOT a "laissez-faire" country, and people should be help accountable. Lieberman agreed -- he called O'Neill's statements "outrageous [and] cold-blooded"; Enron's "was not a natural death", but involved offshore deals and shielding of debt. Corporations "have no conscience" and that is why there is regulation.
Borger turned to campaign finance reform -- would there not be accusations of favoritism if O'Neill had intervened for Enron? McCain instead turned the focus to the Securities and Exchange Commission and apparent illegal transactions engineered by Enron execs -- and added, "This whole thing is tainted by the huge amounts of soft money washing around."
Bravo, John! It's worth pointing out that in the last six years, Ken Lay himself gave half a million dollars in soft money to the GOP -- and none to the Dems.
Schieffer said that both guests took contributions from Enron. Lieberman said he is looking forward to a bipartisan investigation, and downplayed the possibility of a special prosecutor now, calling for slow and thorough investigation (translation: be patient, now is not later). McCain said that campaign money taints politicians and politics -- it's time for reform.
Borger asked Lieberman if Arthur Andersen's shredding of huge amounts of paper is a crime -- and Lieberman said it could well be. This was not, he said, a routine shredding -- and both key players at Andersen and Enron knew the company was in trouble. Lieberman was hesitant to immediately call it obstruction of justice -- but he bandied the term about pretty assertively.
After the break, Schieffer asked McCain about Lay's appearance before the committee; McCain changed tack and said there are questions about Andersen's role as a consultant as well as auditor (translation: they were acting more like a defense attorney than auditor). He added it is important to get the information out and let the chips fall where they may -- the longer facts remain hidden, the worse a scandal gets.
And yes, McCain used the "S" word, and emphatically at that.
Borger asked about the possibility of freezing the assets of Enron honchos. Lieberman said that Enron rank-and-file could not sell their stock while the top dogs could -- and Lay himself was touting a stock he knew was tanking. McCain agreed, and added that various financial analysts on cable business channels were pitching Enron -- it's time to investigate that as well!
Now THAT is big news. There's long been the noting that CNBC add CNNfn are nothing but infomercials for stocks. McCain should also call in Michael Powell -- and demand regulation of these cable outlets.
Schieffer asked both McCain and Lieberman about former Clinton honcho Bob Rubin having called members of the administration about Enron. McCain has questions; Lieberman said that it's beginning to sound as if Rubin was reluctant to make the calls. He then applauded efforts to get to the bottom of de facto defrauding of Enron 401(k) holders.
On the subject of India-Pakistan tensions, McCain slammed a bellicose Indian general and praised Pakistan strongman Musharraf -- while saying he has to deliver on promises to crack down on self-styled "Islamic" extremists. Borger asked about the next target in the war on terrorism; Lieberman over-optimistically characterized the week's developments as a sort of civil war within Islam.
Huh? We have not heard one of Islam's big holy men denouncing this extremism or calling for a fatwa against extremists who have hijacked a fringe cult within Islam for political reasons.
Schieffer's final word was on Wilbur Mills and Fanne Foxe -- yes, it was fun to watch that ol' coot make a fool of himself, but there is nothing funny about thousands losing their pensions, and nothing funny about Ari Fleischer's handling of the story.
Hear, Hear!
-- Donna Wynner
Meet the Crook
with Timmy "Alter Boy"... er "Altar Boy" Russert
Don "Toast" Evans sweats like a whore in church; Timmy shows Christian charity by not going for the easy kill.
The first segment looked for all the world like a vintage 60 Minutes segment in which a crooked businessman sweats and stammers his way through being confronted by Mike Wallace with his obvious guilt.
The crook in question was Don Evans -- Bush butt-boy, fund-raiser, fixer, and all around toady, who's in the Enron scandal up to his armpits. And if this interview is any indication, he's sinking fast.
The part of Mike Wallace was played by Tim Russert.
Evans started out by feigning concern for the vast number of people that have lost their shirts as a result of Enron's criminal con game. But both he and Lawrence Lindsey, another fat rat that was on Enron's payroll and who is now Smirk's economic advisor, use as a defense when pressed, the claim that their first concern was whether or not this bankruptcy would affect the oil and gas markets, and point to the "fact" that it didn't cause any major disruption in these markets -- as if that absolves them completely.
That's an important consideration, no doubt, but they reveal that that's ALL they were worried about.
I'm sure that they're surprised as hell that ANYONE is actually asking questions. They never dreamed that the press, in the midst of a stage-managed "war on terrorism", would suddenly take note that a small clump of Bush supporters banked hundreds of millions, even BILLIONS, of dollars by running a corporation into the ground, while leaving thousands of "little people" ruined and their life's savings stolen (sort of like what Little Lord Smirkleroy did back when he was in the oil bidniss, but on a scale thousands of times larger). They're shocked that suddenly the press is pointing out that these people did it over a period of YEARS. And they're shocked, SHOCKED, that anyone might be upset now.
This is due to the fact that no one in the press seemed to give a damn while they have methodically gone about literally running the government with little or no opposition or complaint. In true Republican style, they thought they could keep stealing more and more and more and more, up to and beyond obscene amounts, until someone catches them. They always go way over the line of ethics and morality, and their greed is virtually unlimited.
Let's hope that this thing slows down their looting of the public treasury -- at least for a short while.
Evans sounded phonier than a $3 bill while downplaying his connection with Ken Lay, the chairman of Enron. He acknowledged several phone calls, but said that was because he (Evans) liked to keep in touch with what the economy was doing "in real time."
Come on. Evans and Lay are joined at the hip, yet they were only talking because Evans was so concerned with doing his sacred duty for the "economy."
He spouted some b#llsh!t about how his office "belongs to the people," and how all he wanted to do was protect the "integrity of the office," and that's why he didn't take any action. In a truly goofy rationale, he said that had he intervened and stabilized Enron's stock price, then WHAT WOULD HE SAY to the poor woman with her entire life savings tied up in Enron stock? What would he SAY to this woman when the stock then tanked?
Good Lord! I guess he was really doing the responsible thing by just letting it tank with NO warning to this fictitious woman. He makes it look like he actually did a freaking FAVOR to the stockholders by standing by and not saying a word or doing a thing while the seventh largest corporation on the planet went completely flat broke!!
I'm sure those little stockholders all wish they could thank you properly for your selfless service to them, Don. I bet they would REALLY like to express their gratitude in some physical form. And I'm not talking about a hearty handshake either.
Don continued to gurgle downward until he seemed up to his chin in slime when confronted with the fact that a former Energy Department head has said that Ken Lay had called him and told him that if he changed his views on issues that would enrich Enron, Lay would support him in keeping his position. The guy didn't go for it, and Bush immediately replaced him with a crony from the Texas Energy Regulatory board.
Ken Lay has denied that this call ever occurred (yeah, right!). Timmy asked Don what he thought about it.
Evans immediately said, "If Ken Lay said it didn't happen, then it didn't happen!"
Just like that. Evans doesn't know any more than you or I whether this happened, yet he is CONVINCED that if Ken Lay says so, it must be true.
Right. If that's really the case, it's also a safe bet that Evans also believes in the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, and Supply-Side Economics.
Tim then cut to MTP graphics of a list about a mile long. It was a roster of people in the Smirk occupation force with deep ties to Enron. Tim asked Evans to remark on the obvious close ties between the administration and Enron. One after another he listed the Bushoids and their huge investments in and former positions with Enron as consultants, lobbyists, and even top executives. "The tentacles are deep," Tim concluded.
What was Evans' response? He launched into a spiel that has to be nominated for the most phony, nauseating, over-the-top, downright embarrassing spin attempt of the year -- or perhaps the decade.
Now, bear in mind that he was asked about the deep ties between Enron and the Bush operation in D.C. Evans, incredibly, recited some STUPID tale about some "average Joe" named Ken Dortch. Evans, a billionaire, related how he and The Simian Prince had flown to Oregon and went to a Boys' and Girls' Club. He recalled Smirk sitting on the floor and talking to the boys and girls.
At this point I was so embarrassed and amazed at where he was going, I couldn't even watch.
Smirk talked to the kids about their future, Evans said. Dim Son asked how many were going to college. Several raised their hands. Here Evans raised his hand to show us how it's done.
Now remember: this answer is about Enron.
"While I was standing there a man walked over and handed me an envelope." Evans said, warming up and talking in reverential tones, "And on that envelope, it said, 'Governor George W. Bush.'
"Now bein' the finance chairman at the time, I figured it had a check in it. And I said to him, 'Are you supporting the Governor?' and he said, 'Yes I am.' and I said, 'Whaah?' [That's "Why" in Texan], and he said to me 'Because I want to trust America, and this man makes me feel good about America.'
Remember, this is an answer about Enron and its deep ties to the administration.
Evans continued this horrible line of crap... er, inspirational tale: "I took away from that conversation, from -- uh -- Ken Dortch, that this was a man that wanted a president, that would -- that would bring trust in this country. I walked out of the door -- being the normal finance chairman -- took the envelope out of my pocket, opened it up and looked at it. Pulled out a cashier's check for $38.39. Ken Dortch, who had two children in the Boys' and Girls' Club, knew what his rent was, knew how much his utility bills were, and knew how much his food was gonna cost that month, he had $38.39 left. I'm not gonna disappoint Ken Dortch, and this president isn't gonna disappoint Ken Dortch. All through the campaign, when I talked about contributions, I told people, for this contribution, you're gonna get good government. You're gonna get a -- you're gonna get -- a puh -- a president that has a great mind, a big heart, and an extraordinary leader, and this whole world can trust."
So that was Evans' response to Tim's question concerning Enron's ties to the staff of "His Subliminable-ness". If that isn't world-class CRAP, I don't know what is.
Thanks, Don. Thanks for taking us all for imbecilic fools! This is the kind of solid waste that we've come to depend on from you and George's gang of thugs. Idiots soak it up like a sponge. It fogs their minds with drivel, and diverts the subject from the obvious.
Timmy, to his credit, asked, "In all honesty, would Ken Dortch have as much access to the top levels of government as Ken Lay?"
This is an easy one, right? The answer is no. But not for the snake Evans. He replied, "If Ken Dortch wants to call me up on the phone, I'd be happy to take his call."
Um, Don, that's not what Tim asked.
Timmy then asked if Ken Dortch could call the Treasury Secretary or talk to the Vice-President. Hilarious! Evans sputtered like a 50-year-old outboard motor and finally spit out, "Ken Dortch represents the hundred of millions of hard-working people across this country. It's not just Ken Dortch, it's the HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS of HARD-WORKING AMERICANS that LOVE THIS COUNTRY!!!"
Unspun translation: "Yeah, Tim, you dope, I wasn't telling the truth!! I was only USING this poor schmuck to try to say that hundreds of millions of 'hard-working Americans' -- which is our party's code phrase for white men with guns or good jobs -- just LOVE 'this country' -- which is code for the Smirking Chimp-Boy and the rest of our gang of thieves."
I only wish Tim would have messed with him some more. A kid could have broken down that pile of nonsense in a matter of moments and left Evans glaring like he was going to leap across the desk. It would have been simple to get him to drop his fake demeanor and start swearing and vowing to get back at Russert and all he holds dear. I would have paid big money to hear Evans crack and start screaming, "You don't know who you're messing with here, you liberal media bastard!!! You're toast, TV boy!"
Have you ever heard a more transparent attempt at deception? (The Chimp's utterances don't count.) In one custom-memorized bunch of crap, Evans pushed all the "warm'n'fuzzy" hot buttons: he mentioned Bush and cute little kids, the Moron-in-Cheap being "compassionate" at the Boys' and Girls' Clubs (who's funding he has reduced), and an "AVERAGE GUY" being duped into giving a contribution. Then he LIED and made up the details of the story and says, though he has no way of knowing, that this was all the money, down to the last penny, that this poor schmuck had left after paying for the necessities of survival, and he wanted to give it to Smirk.
This is getting me misty-eyed just recounting it. How touching!
Why would Ken Dortch give his hard earned pennies to Bush? Why? Don says it's because he wants to "trust America" and he thinks Bush is going to make him "feel good about America."
If that guy actually said this, I'll eat my computer.
What Don Evans doesn't mention is that the reason the guy only had a few bucks left to spare is because Evans and Bush and all the private-jet Texas Oil goons have rigged everything and control the price of energy. He doesn't mention how Ken could have more money in his pocket to blow on Smirk -- or whatever he wanted -- if they all weren't as busy as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest giving away the surplus to the wealthiest in the country.
But I'm sure that if you pointed out these or any number of reasons this tale stands out as the rankest form of "butt burritos", Don would only point out that it's not about just Ken, it's about the MILLIONS OF HARD-WORKING AMERICANS that LOVE THIS COUNTRY!!
But, but, but, but... but Don! What about all the people that hate what you and your gang are doing to this country? What about all the people that will see clearly what a bunch of crooks and corrupt thugs you all are when more of this scandal comes out?
Does that mean they don't love this country?
Guess so. Just more of the biggest BIG LIE. The one this entire administration is hiding behind: "You either love us, or you hate America."
Yes, of course its two entirely different things, but they want to con you into thinking it's one in the same. Don't buy it. And don't let anyone tell you that liking what these thugs are doing means you don't love this country. And how absurd is it to get into a "country loving" contest anyway??
Following the break, Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE) appeared, wearing a leather jacket in front of a huge roaring fireplace somewhere. He looked for all the world like he was about to pitch a brand of wine. ("After a day on the slopes, I like relaxing with my latest press clippings, a leggy campaign aide, some soft money... er, music, and a glass of hearty merlot from Pretension Vineyards.")
In the interests of space (not outer space, the "way too many words to read" type of space) I'll skip that segment, except to say that Biden thinks that the Enron scandal will be huge if anything comes out that connects contributions and favors. This probability gets a little slimmer with Enron's accounting firm, Arthur Anderson, admitting that they outright destroyed so many records that it had required dozens of people working around the clock to accomplish.
In the strange bedfellows department, the next segment was a great one: Pat Buchanan, doing the rounds flogging his new book "Circle the Wagons, White People!" (or whatever it is called), and a guy who is probably sporting wood over the Enron collapse, Ralph Nader.
I find Buchanan, aside from his often racist and reactionary views, to be a very likable guy. Say what you will about him, but the guy has integrity, something in such short supply that it's refreshing no matter where it comes from.
Both Buchanan and Nader have a lot to contribute, though they're both burdened by fatal flaws, Buchanan by his peculiar vision of a Holy War to defend the White Race, and Nader by a sort of self-centered blindness that prevents his many excellent views and proposals from gaining wider acceptance.
And they both tell it as they see it, unvarnished and raw -- ya gotta love that.
Pat zeroed in on former Clinton Treasury Secretary Bob Rubin as having done something wrong in calling the current secretary to see if something could be done about Enron's credit rating. As Rubin now is an officer of Citigroup, who held $750 million - that's million -- in loans to Enron, it appears that he was trying to finagle a way to unload them before the bottom dropped out, according to Pat.
Nader said Enron's crimes are only symptomatic of widespread corporate/government corruption and an indictment of the current campaign finance system. He is 100% right, of course, as everyone knows. He also called for, among other things, real prison time for corporate suite crimes. Amen to THAT!
Pat doesn't think the Enron mess will have any political ramifications however, as the Smirk gang didn't take any action on behalf of Enron. This seems to be the preliminary Republican position, pending more smoking guns.
The discussion was turned to the 2000 election by Timmy. In his typical slanted and peculiar way, he put up vote tallies that showed that, were it not for the Buchanan votes in four states, Bush would have won those states, thus actually winning the election. Who but Timmy would think this one up? IF all the Buchanan voters would have voted for Bush, in ALL FOUR of those states, then the Chump would have won.
See, Tim says brightly, Bush really IS president!! Naturally, he ignores the option of write-in votes for Pat.
This was supposed to shame Buchanan, and Timmy asked him if he ever lay awake nights thinking that if it wasn't for him, Bush would have won. Pat said that he didn't want it written on his tombstone that here lies the guy that helped Al Gore win the presidency. He said that he failed in his candidacy, and so in the later days of the campaign, he didn't want Gore to win. He urged Timmy to show how he "helped" Smirk in Florida, and Timmy obliged by showing the massive fraud caused by the "butterfly ballot" in Palm Beach county.
Buchanan said he believes that at least three-quarters of 3,400 Buchanan votes in Palm Beach county were actually intended to be for Gore - a fact which is clear to EVERYONE but right wing kooks. He also said he's convinced that "99%" of the 12,000 spoiled ballots that were thrown out were intended to be votes for Gore.
Wow. This is the kind of honesty that I appreciate. Sure, it may be partly motivated by his long standing hatred for the Bushes, both Daddy and Doofus -- but hey, anyone that hates the Bush cabal can't be ALL bad.
Does Nader regret preventing Al Gore's election? "Of course not," said Ralph. "You don't run for president to help elect your opponent." One might suggest to Ralph that Bush was more of an "opponent" than Gore.
Then Timmy tried to bait Ralph by asking him if anything would have been different now if Al Gore had won. He pinned Nader down into saying that the tax cut probably wouldn't have been so huge, but Ralph tried to say that even that was impossible to say. He went down his usual list of how the two major parties are one and the same with respect to NAFTA, global trade, civil rights, and a slew of other issues. He is correct to a great degree, regrettably.
Turns out that Ralph has a new book out, too. He said it's in response to people feeling that they've lost control. They've lost control of their government, lost control of democracy, their genes, their privacy. He says that there needs to be a break up of the "concentration of power" in this country.
I, for one, couldn't agree more strongly. Nothing but good could come from busting up the small group of economic elites that have way too much power and who are only solidifying and expanding that power under Smirk.
Will Nader run again? He won't rule it out, he says. What about Pat? "The people have spoken pretty clearly," said Pat, with a twinkle in his eye. He's not going to run again. Wow, a guy that knows when to get out. You have to admire that.
Speaking of "getting out", I did a double take yesterday when I saw a promo for a new show on MSNBC hosted by -- get this -- ALAN KEYES!!! Yes, you read that right. Where's the big cosmic hook when you need it?
But it's a natural. Keyes is conservative, a religious zealot, a loud mouth, intolerant as hell, glib, and so insane he's certain he's right on all things. Sounds like every one of the glut of conservatives with their own shows.
I'd also like to suggest you tune in to C-SPAN this coming week if possible. They are having a nightly series of prime time shows dealing with various aspects and implications of the Enron Scandal. Should be a good education on the issues involved.
Dave "Doctor" Gonzo is an award-winning producer and political gadfly. He has returned tanned, rested and refreshed from a stint terrorizing fellow skiers on the Vail slopes to his highly fortified high-rise compound on Manhattan's Upper East Side.
Donna Wynner is a senior partner with Reid, Whitney, Fine. She lives in Fort Lee, New Jersey, with a Weimaraner puppy named Mortimer and a housebroken husband.
Dash Riprock is a free-lance smart aleck based in the nerve center of politics, Moline, IL. You can share you thoughts, comments, kudos, and condemnation with him at no additional cost to you at dashriprockapj@hotmail.com
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