American Politics Journal -- Fundish Update from the War Zone

Fundish Update from the War Zone
An Open Letter to John Fund
By Melinda Pillsbury-Foster

Jan. 16, 2001

It seemed a little strange today to call my daughter, Morgan Pillsbury, on her cell phone and hear John Fund ranting in the background to reporters on his landline denying that they were living together. But as I think I said earlier, nothing about this is normal.

Morgan told me, after he left for a few minutes, that he was completely enraged when Lloyd Grove read my entirely moderate and conciliatory statement to him. I think the thing that annoyed him the most was being called a small pundit. But I want to assure him that I recognize that he is over six feet tall. He is also rather overweight, as are many of us who are now middle aged.

So he is not small, at least in that sense.

I actually meant he was only a small presence on the national scene. Others might see this differently. I am sorry if I hurt his feelings.

His continued assertion that he and Morgan are not now domestic partners, as the saying goes, is specious. She irons his shirts, does his laundry, handles his dry cleaning, cooks his meals, pays his bills, keeps burritos in the refrigerator, and scrubs the toilet. That is about as domestic as you can get. John gives her stuffed animals, named Cuddles and Snoopy, good night hugs and has even offered to pay child support for them if and when the two part. In pillow stuffing, but at least he understands his responsibilities to them.

That is marriage. The wedding was entirely a formalization of what is; an afterthought.

Morgan has some other recordings in addition to the one she gave to John Connelly. Since John seems determined to continue to deny their relationship I suppose she should play them for him over the phone - at a safe distance - then to his attorney.

Then we can perhaps avoid having to listen to them on line.

So, John, have a very nice day. I'm going to take the kids to Disneyland tomorrow. We will be thinking of you when we see Grumpy, Dopey, and most especially Mickey Mouse.