Meet the Tim

"Afghanistan!... Middle East Violence!... Condoleezza Rice!... Six months since September 11th!... Rudy Giuliani! Guidelines for September 11th victim benefits...are they fair?"

Yessir, Tim was taking on a broad range of issues -- not.

"Dr. Rice, welcome back to Meet the Press."

Funny, but Tim NEVER welcomed the Ph.D.s in the Clinton Administration as "Doctor"!  Doctor Rice... Doctor Kissinger... Doctor Strangelove... when you put it in perspective, maybe it's a good thing that Tim wasn't so generous with academic credentials of Team Clinton.

Condi, of course, plugged the success of Operation Anaconda in Afghanistan, only to see Tim mention that the resistance has been tough. Condi, oddly, tried to play down the distinct possibility that some of Al Qaeda's leaders may be into the caves (oh, that's right, Smirk reneged on that promise to get the leaders of "global ta'ir"). Tim again reminded DOCTOR Rice that the US went in unprepared, adding that Afghan allies seemed to retreat and there's a sense that Al Qaeda had been tipped off to the campaign. Condi: "...adjustments had to be made...we're effectively using Afghan forces." She gave a rosy forecast of success -- which, she said, will make it easier to stabilize Afghanistan's new leadership. She also said the US will not stop until all pockets of Al Qaeda resistance are rooted out (read: quagmire).

Realistically, asked Tim, how long will this continue? Condi thinks it will continue for months. There will, she said. be no sanctuary for Al Qaeda anywhere in the world. (Translation: a decade of war is on the way, and America will foment it.)

Tim then brought up the BIG story that the US press seems to be scared to report (we read it this morning on the BBC's news site) -- eleven Iranians captured by American forces in the West of Afghanistan. This gave Condi a chance to indict Iranians as troublemakers out to destabilize Afghanistan (as if it weren't already destabilized, DOCTOR). If Iran will support the interim authority, said Rice, that would be okay -- but they can't come in as troublemakers.  Condi at least had the decorum not to remind America that Iran is a charter member of the Texas Dauphin's "Axis of Evil". 

Tim then brought up the ties between drugs and terrorists (but somehow neglected to mention to viewers that the Reagan Administration was propping up narcotics traffickers and right-wing regimes in Latin and South America), pointing out that the poppy crop in Afghanistan is being harvested. Condi said that crop substitution issues are being discussed; America cannot tolerate drug crops; there has not been legitimate financial opportunity in Afghanistan.

Tim then asked about two American hostages being held in the Philippines by the Abu Sayyef group -- will the US approve of ransom payments? Condi said negotiating with terrorists is not fruitful, and the US is working with the Philippines to secure the hostages' release. But would the US object? The US has a longstanding policy of not approving of ransom, she said (in other words, it's the Philippine government's call).

Tim shifted focus to the Middle East, quoting stories from the New York Times on the shifting situation and failure of Smirk and his handlers to get engaged. Condi said mediator Anthony Zinni is on the way back (yeah -- on Thursday). Condi boosted the Tenet and Mitchell plans.

Huh? So Prince Abdullah's plan is chopped liver? Isn't that what you and your Smirk-o-lationist cronies want, Condi -- less American engagement?

Condi then fretted about terrorists in the Middle East and the fact that nothing is being done on either side of the Israel-PLO standoff to ratchet things down. Did Sharon go too far this time? Condi said that attacks such as that in the Israeli cafe yesterday are intolerable, and we're sending Zinni in (like that'll do any good). We need to convince Arafat that terrorism is no way to get political goals. "We're very concerned" -- and that includes the plight of Palestinians who cannot earn a living.

Tim then asked Condi about VP Cheney's mission to twelve Middle East and Arab countries. Condi admitted that Iraq will be a major topic of conversation -- and claimed that President Bush has made no decisions about Iraq before launching into a tirade about Iraq's unacceptable behavior.

With the Middle East on fire, said Tim, it's not plausible to mount an attack on Iraq anyway. Condi claimed that the Israel-Palestine dynamic is independent, and the status quo in Iraq is unacceptable.

Tim then turned to nukes -- new weapons, new contingency plans, secret reports -- quoting the New York Times and LA Times. Condi said the leaked report should surprise no one, and tried to tie any US use of weapons of mass destruction to other nations' or other parties' use of one against us. She tried to pawn off the report as pointing toward making use of nukes less likely -- and play up our "strategic relationship with Russia". It's just a review of contingencies, she said (just remain calm, everybody, even if we are busy destabilizing the planet militarily and politically). Tim fired back, saying that suddenly it seems that nukes are being looked at as weapons likely to be used. Condi retreated to "deterrence". Will we use small nukes against cave complexes? Condi would not give a straight answer, emphatically saying "no one wants to use nuclear weapons."

Who do you think you're fooling, Condi?  With Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, and Richard Perle spoon-feeding Smirk?

What was your most vivid memory of September 11th? Condi said it was the plane going into the Pentagon -- and America rallying.

Following the break, Tim welcomed former New York mayor Rudy Giuliani. The interview focused on September 11th: Rudy's strongest memories of lower Manhattan after the attack, people jumping from the highest floors of the World Trade Center, firefighters putting up the American flag. Tim went Catholic on Rudy, talking about firefighters who gave impromptu confessions before going in to rescue people in the World Trade Center. Rudy said that he had an inkling that hundreds of people might lose their lives.

Yep, it was mostly sentimental pap. Ho-hum. But some good moments followed.

Tim did get in a great dig, which even had Rudy laughing -- the perception that when things were good, Rudy didn't look good, but after September 11th, when things were at their worst, Rudy was at his best.

What should be done with the site? Rudy reiterated a view the world already knows -- he wants it to be a memorial site, but he wants it to be informative and educational as well as beautiful. He envisions business towers surrounding the "footprints" of the Twin Towers.

Tim finally turned to politics -- and a critique in the SF Chronicle chiding Rudy and the GOP using the events of September 11th for political purposes along the lines of the Karl Rove game plan. Rudy scoffed at the critique, saying he'd been a Republican long before September 11th, and why should he get out of politics?

"Will you seek elective office again?"

"I don't know... I need some time." Rudy said he'll support GOP candidates, and will even spend time shilling for California loser-to-be Bill Simon.

Would you like to see the Republican Convention in New York City in 2004? Rudy wants both conventions in New York. What happens if Cheney does not seek re-election? Rudy said Cheney's doing a great job; Tim pressed him; Rudy would not relent, saying he wants them reelected in 2004.

Rudy then blundered, saying that it was good that the Smirking Imbecile -- excuse me, Bush -- was in the White House on September 11th.  (Right, Rudy.  Eight years of peace and prosperity down the drain just a couple of months after Smirk's pals told the Taliban they had a choice between a carpet of gold and a carpet of bombs.)

Will you be less combative? Rudy scoffed -- "I am who I am."

Tim's final guest: Special Master Kenneth Feinberg, who oversees the federal September 11th victim compensation program. Feinberg detailed the purpose and procedures of the program. 

When talk turned to the option of suing vs. getting a settlement from the government, Tim pointed out the Congress has capped liability of airlines.

Tim then discussed a message he got from a September 11th widow who brought up the issue of a cost-benefits analysis made by the FAA some years ago that concluded a $2.7 million is justified -- and all the government gives is $250,000. Feinberg, who has a bad habit of sounding defensive the minute anyone disputes his very difficult decisions,  argued that getting a check today and banking it makes more sense than waiting as long as 10 years for a settlement that won't amount to $2.7 million.

Tim brought up the issue of victims that would have made a huge income: what happens to their families? Feinberg discussed the complex issue of tax-free benefits and life insurance coverage.

Tim then played the emotion card -- a fold-out cover from People magazine showing the dozens of babies born to September 11th widows. Feinberg looked a bit perturbed, saying they would of course be covered! He also said that illegal and undocumented aliens will not be penalized, will be protected and will get benefits.

Tim said gay partners and domestic live-ins are left out of the program -- and Feinberg, who did sound concerned and discouraged over the position he has been forced to take on this aspect of the controversy, said he was at the mercy of state laws, and would be sued if he didn't follow those laws.

What about families in the two African embassy bombings, or Oklahoma City -- shouldn't they be included? Feinberg said he's restricted to September 11th. Well, asked Tim, shouldn't Congress act? Feinberg said it's Congress' move.

Feinberg was on the defensive throughout the interview -- but we have to empathize with him: no matter his decision, many people directly affected by the attacks on our nation are going to be angry and disagree with his position.  He is in just about the least enviable position of anyone in the present government and, agree with him or not, he seems to be making a real effort to be fair.

-- JJ Balzer

McLaughlin Group Grope

Our widening Bush world war and the suitably macho-named "Operation Anaconda" to mop up Al Qaeda and Taliban forces was topic one.

This question created an odd pairing -- with Pat BuKKKanan and Eleanor Clift taking the same side! Both took the rational view that it would be absolutely foolhardy to try to even think of mounting military offenses against Iran, Iraq, or North Korea. These of course are the three countries labeled by Bush as the very "Axis of Evil" -- a remark that has had the intended effect, which is to get everyone looking at these countries as being prime targets for U.S. aggression.

Pat also thinks that the effort in Afghanistan will likely turn into an endless slog, with the "evil-doe's" being able to retreat into and reemerge out of Pakistan.

Tony Blankley, in full Republican blind arrogance mode, thinks that we won't get bogged down in Afghanistan (because it differs from Vietnam) and still seems to hold the view shared by the White House -- that this is like a big game of Risk! in which we can just pick out which countries to invade on a map and go have fun with our billions of dollars of war machinery and American lives.

Blankley consistently beat the drum for targeting other nations and made great efforts to continue to turn attention to Iraq and Iran. One can tell that the idea of a vastly widened war really tickles Tony and those he serves.

Tony also argued against the Chicago Tribune's Jim Warren, whose opinion is that the military is in danger of spreading itself too thin. Tony thinks that we can easily fight battles all over the planet. (Which is amazing -- in that Blankley and the "Dick and Dork" team constantly muttered that the Clinton military was practically unable to even get out of their bunks anymore and couldn't manage to defeat a girl's field hockey team, to hear them tell it. Have any of Rumsfeld's reforms kicked in? No! This war is being fought with Clinton's military!)

Then Mad John asked if the administration would "put off" invading Iraq. I didn't realize this was a plan that could be "put off" to begin with, but evidently so. The majority felt that they'd have to put it off, and a new spin point was trotted out: one prime reason for not trying to take on Saddam now is that there is nothing to replace him with, and that it would likely touch off even more instability in the Arab world.

Next, it was on to the escalating fiasco, train wreck, blood bath, religious insanity, and madness in Israel.

Various peace initiatives were batted around, and Pope John has actually proposed his own peace plan. There was a lot of talk about the Palestinian "Right of Return", with McLaughlin suggesting that the Palestinians should completely give it up in return for being given 100% of the West Bank and Gaza. John feels that in addition to this, the Golan Heights should be returned to Syria, and that the Jewish "settlers" currently living on Palestinian land should be allowed to stay if they desired to, but that they would then be dual Israeli and Palestinian citizens. If they don't want to stay, they get paid off to move.

And in his most goofy proposal of all, McLaughlin said that Jerusalem should be an open city, much like the Vatican, and be ruled by clerics from the Jewish, Muslim, and Christian faiths.

Hoo boy. In addition to the fact that this would deteriorate into an unworkable situation immediately, Mad John most bizarrely said that this arrangement would "defeat Al Qaeda recruitment of Muslims terrorists." (Excuse me, Pope John, but if someone is a Muslim terrorist, do you really need to recruit them? I mean…don't you have to recruit someone and THEN make them into a so-called terrorist?)

How will Jerusalem being administered by clerics of three different faiths serve to eliminate anyone becoming terrorists? (Apparently only Muslims qualify.) Beats the hell out of me, but John thinks it'll work.

To this, Blankley got pretty excited. He said that the only problem with the plan was it didn't account for Iran. Huh?

Tony frantically tried to un-wedge a slip of paper out of his tightly-packed thousand dollar suit and read what some Iranian cleric had said as supposed proof that we need to go after Iraq. I think Tony is saying that we shouldn't even THINK that there could be any solution to the Israeli problem unless we wage an enormous war against Iraq. (Though one suspects that he'd be happy if it was Iraq, or perhaps the Sudan -- or maybe Somalia. Actually, anyone! The only important thing is that we have war -- and lots of it! Heck, the more, the better in Tony's view!)

The true tragedy and mental disconnect in all this is that war is always just assumed. The most vital question, whether this dubious "war" should be widened at all, is simply ignored. They don't dare even risk questioning whether further military aggression is prudent or warranted. It's not should we attack, but only WHO should we attack next.

I guess it's un-American to ask if it's necessary to invade anyone at all.

Think about this: we've gone from eight years with not one combat death to a state where unending and open-ended war is assumed without question.

Then, to fulfill his apparent obligation to come up with at least one completely dopey and out there idea every week, John then waxed rhapsodic about a supposed plan to hold Congress in New York. He mentioned a plan to have all 100 senators and 435 members of the House of Representatives meet in New York somewhere.

I can't think of a more meaningless, vapid, empty, and utterly useless (but typical) idea. It will likely cost millions of tax dollars to have the entire legislature spend what amounts to a party week in New York. And in our cheap, hype-saturated market, this is seen as something "real" that will somehow make us all feel better or stronger, or something. I myself am sick to the point of nausea of stupid, concocted empty gestures, ceremonies, and stunts designed to continue to artificially inflate the sense of national crisis and resolve. Even if one feels it's a good thing, the manner in which it's done is nothing but insulting to our intelligence.

What does the panel think? Warren, giving it as much seriousness as it deserves, thinks they should hold it in Yankee Stadium. Tony, showing his cards, said that it's "important that people be reminded constantly of the struggle we're involved with" (emphasis mine) and so this would be a good idea.

Damn straight, Tony, got to keep those war drums pounding -- at least until 2004.

As if to reassure us, McLaughlin stated that this would be "mostly symbolic" and that "probably no legislature would be passed," as if that even comes close to making it any less of a stupid and needlessly expensive gesture.

The final prediction segment is where the pundits, and especially McLaughlin himself, completely cop out at even attempting any serious predictions, since this would reveal just how little they actually know about what they're supposedly so wise about.

Jim Warren said that the retirement of Fred Thompson (R-I'm gonna go cash in now, seeya!) means the return of Lamar Alexander to the Senate.

Pat thinks Saddam Hussein will allow weapons inspectors in and "complicate our problems in invading him." Well, we can't let that meanie Saddam go and "complicate" our invasion! Now I know he's evil!

Eleanor, who had a bad cold and could barely muster much above a whisper, said that Pat was right, and added that Congress will pass tougher pollution standards on cars and trucks.

Tony "Stuffed Sausage" Blankley went out on a limb and revealed that he thinks Paula Jones will beat Tonya Harding in Fox's new garbage TV celeb boxing match.

First of all, he couldn't be more wrong. Tonya could pound Paula into a grease spot anyway, but since the "pure" and "wrongly maligned" (snicker) Paula has revealed that she's concerned about wrecking her store-bought nose, there's no way she'll win. If there were any justice, Harding would pound on her until she looks exactly like she did before her blond harpy "advisor" Susan "Suzy The Coozie" Carpenter-McMillan saw to it that Jones was fixed up with a new face.

John made a prediction about something much more important than usual, and even then, it has nothing to do with politics or the direction of the country. He said that a jury would find the mother in Texas who slaughtered her own young children insane.

Perhaps John focused on this subject due to his subconscious fear that someday soon, a panel of his peers will reach the same conclusion about him. Most of America already has.

-- Dash Riprock