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April 14, 2002 (first edition, 2:30 PM) - NEW YORK/CHICAGO/WASHINGTON (APJP) -- The situation in the Middle East remained dicey this morning as the live pundit shows were forced to deal with the "breaking news" out of Ramallah: Secretary of State Colin Powell's three-plus-hour meeting with Palestinian Authority boss-man Yarssir Arafat. Members of the misadministration spun the meeting as a good first step toward getting allparties to takk peace, maybe; hawkish pundits spun the characterization of the talks as indicating failure; nobody dared mention that Powell is cleaning up after the mess that Vice President Dick "Bomb Saddam Big Time" Cheney left a few weeks ago.
Thanks for NOTHIN' -- except more bsiness for Halliburton -- Dick!
It was a great excuse to ignore other political events this week: the thwarting of GOP efforts to undermine campaign finance reform, Rep. Cynthia McKinney's call for an investigation of ties between the Doofus Regime and parties involved in the September 11th attacks, and, of course, President-elect Al Gore's devastating speech on Republican malfeasance and mismanagement yesterday.
FAUX News Sunday
Powell: Lets roll...for peace?
Tony Snow's only topic was Powell's Mideast visit.
He first turned to a FAUX reporter in the region who emphasized that Powell had not gotten a cease-fire, nor has he settled the standoff at the Church of the Nativity (FAUX translation: he's a failure and a failure at saving Christian monuments and values -- real-world reaction: nobody expected a cease-fire, and why isn't anyone mentioning the fact that most of the gunmen there are Christian?). The reporter also made much of the continued presence of Israeli forces in Palestinian refugee camps.
Tony's first guest was Little George's Chief of Staff Andy Card, who practically admitted from the top that he was out of the loop (another sign he'll be leaving -- our guess is real soon). Tony spent most of the segment casting Arafat as the warmonger, proclaiming Sharon as trying to save Israel from terrorism, and denouncing thugs who strap explosives to themselves to kill innocent people (and we agree, they're thugs -- but interestingly, he did NOT use the phrase "homicide bombers" at this point, but "suicide bombers") . Card was unable to make any definitive forecasts, predictions, or details of next steps -- but then, nobody can.
Can Arafat actually stop the suicide bombings? Card didn't answer; instead, slammed Arafat for doing nothing for education or health care -- making him sound, oddly, like the Dunce-in-Chief, who seems intent on keeping poor kids uninsured and diverting funding from public schools to American madrassas and fly-by-night charter school scams!
Tony quizzed Card about "definitive" proof that Arafat is paying off families of suicide bombers. Card deflected to "[Arafat] has to do more for piece...Arafat has a responsibility, Prime Minister Sharon has a responsibility...Arafat [must] step up to his responsibility as a leader." Card said the talks were a constructive step and may provide a road map to the various steps toward peace.
Andy's comments on "responsibility" were a hint: with Arafat and Sharon, this whole war is personal -- and they're using their followers as fodder for their bad blood. This was a signal to both sides: grow up, and now. Our guess: Card is in the Powell camp. He did his share of Arafat-bashing (and if anyone deserves bashing -- Yassirree, he does), but this was also a signal to Sharon.
Interestingly, Card BACKED OFF on saying that Arafat's a terrorist at this time, acknowledging his past terrorism. This gave Tony a chance to wheel out the latest favorite spin-phrase of the hard right: "moral clarity" and the Administration's lack thereof on dealing with Arafat.
"Moral clarity" is code for putting everything in either the "good" or"evil" categories, a form judgmentalism in black and white with no shades of gray. It is being bandied about to oversimplify the "reasoning" of Smirk Boy and his illegitimate junta -- in this case, supporting the thuggish Ariel Sharon, who these days is coming across as no more of a good guy than Arafat.
And Card fired back at Tony, explaining that the situation is far more complicated than Tony implied. Card also re-explained the Tenet-plan-to-Mitchell-plan-to-Mideast-peace path that events hopefully will take (and it could -- assuming Arafat and Sharon are removed from the equation), and broke a little news: Powell will be visiting the leaders of Lebanon and Syria (hopefully, to prevent them from letting Hezbollah enter the fray).
To our surprise, Tony then slammed Sharon for not obeying Smirk (that "immediate withdrawal...I said what I said" pap of early in the week which Sharon essentially dismissed). Card backed off for his hapless boss: now the bogus POTUS is not being "specific" on when he wants complete withdrawal.
Will Powell work out a cease-fire? Card said that ALL leaders in the region have to help work their way to a secure Israel, a Palestinian state, and regional peace. He also praised Saudi Prince Abdullah for his bold move toward peace.
Following a brief break, Tony welcomed Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE). What should Powell say to Lebanon and Syria? Biden said that it's not fair to Powell to speculate; he also said that countries in the region want America to spearhead an even larger initiative, and unless we get serious and kick the effort up a notch (i.e. keep Perle and Wolfowitz out of the picture), Powell's trip may be doomed to failure.
We were hoping that Biden would go a step further and say that Shrub's lack of engagement is the crucial underlying factor in Mideast turmoil.
Brit Hume tried to blame Arafat -- going so far as to say that under Clinton, the then-president and PM Ehud Barak gave Arafat a generous offer and he turned it down. Biden's take: Arafat is caught between the U.S., Israel, Arab states and "the street" (translation: Hamas, Hezbollah, the Al Aq'sa Brigades and even Al Qaeda, and they are out of his control -- if anything, they may now be in league with bin Laden).
Biden also brought up two other issues that nobody seems to discuss.
First, control of drinkable water in the region is a crucial issue. Cut it off, and Arafat is toast.
Second, Saudi Arabia is a card we should play -- let's get them on the world stage. Hume broke in, saying they held a "telethon for terrorists" (a typically simplistic, jingoistic and dishonest Hume spin on the fundraising effort -- but truth be told, given the abysmal record of Saudi Arabia's religious establishment, we're not ruling out money being siphoned to troublemakers in the name of furthering the Wahabi-Islam cult's influence). Biden fired back by saying that Saudi Arabia is undergoing changes (translation: Abdullah has pulled off a de facto coup) and (finally he says it!) the Chimp-in-Chief had not been engaged. Hume asked if the region will be better if Sharon destroys Palestinian terrorists. Biden said yes, but at a huge cost to Israel in the end. Tony said, "So Israel should get out." Biden said yes -- and took a last swipe at Smirk for squandering American prestige and influence.
You tell 'em, Joe!
There is reason to pay special attention to Biden's comments on Saudi Arabia. The kingdom continues to be buffeted by questions surrounding bin Laden's ties to their religious establishment and "morality police", and the ill-timed telethon did not help their image -- but there are some major changes going on within the power structure there. Abdullah has emerged as the de facto boss -- and he may move to rein in the influence of the extremist religious establishment in the kingdom.
Panel time! Tony flogged "Powell and Arafat disagree" spin, based on the announcement that they had "cordial" talks. Huh? Hume is worried that world opinion may go against Israel (huh? are you crazy, Brit? it already is). Ceci Connolly mentioned reports out of Jenin that Israeli forces engaged in massacres of whole families; Hume interrupted, saying that there's been no independent confirmation; Fred "The Sleaze" Barnes verbally slapped Ceci for not saying there'd be no incursion if Palestinians had not launched terrorist attacks, and Israel has found documents that just plain PROVE Arafat's a criminal. Juan said that the big news is Israel "has acted with arrogance." Hume tried to spin it as Israel living "in a parallel universe" and called the King of Morocco a "pip-squeak" for criticizing Powell for having gone to Morocco before Jerusalem!
What a riot! So anyone who skewers Smirk's miscalculations is a "pip-squeak," huh, Hume? You can bet Powell probably wanted to head for Jerusalem and Ramallh first, but remember -- he's not exactly working for Stephen Hawking. Morocco's king showed cajones and candor -- speaking of which, you sound like you have a "pip-squeak" sizeproblem yourself.
Hume and Barnes tarred Arafat as a terrorist for decades (which is pretty much true). Juan basically agreed -- and jumped all over Barnes "...so you want to wipe out the Palestinians???" Barnes backed off; Ceci said that there is a need for Israel to pull back so Smirk does not look ineffectual, and Card sure didn't reveal any signs of a cogent peace plan!
Bingo, Juan! This is a crap shoot, and about the only guy with the brains and prestige to pull off a miracle is Powell. But you missed the chance to slam Cheney for having screwed up the situation even more with his "get Saddam" foray, but Barnes actually spoke the truth when he touched on it, saying the real issue for Prince George is his lust for an attack on Iraq this fall, and it just can't happen if the Middle East mess continues! Hume said Arabs have done nothing and the Saudi telethon was "obscene". Barnes whined that Arabs have done nothing for thirty years. Juan slammed American Jewish hard-liners and their right-wing friends. Barnes: "It's not driving me and I'm not Jewish."
We don't believe Barnes -- he's being defensive in a weak attempt to prolong the illusion he's an "independent conservative thinker", an oxymoron in and of itself.
After the break, the panel decided to pile onto Al Gore's rousing speech in Florida yesterday. Ceci liked it -- as a 2000 campaign speech -- and dissed it as "inappropriate" during a war on terror. Oh, please -- with His Fraudulence trying to shove a far-right agenda down our throats during undeclared "war" time, it's about time someone called him on his Bushit. Barnes said the Middle East and "war on terror" are the ONLY issues. Juan said that what would be inappropriate is a resolution in support of Israel -- and how can there be a loyal opposition when the world seems on the path to war? Hume made fun of Gore sweating in a too-hot room, then slammed the tone of Gore's speech as being "out of touch with the world" and mocked the "big guy vs. little guy" message. Juan said the message will resonate with Democrats; Hume said nobody cared about these other issues.
We're actually glad Hume said that. It shows how out-of-touch the oligarchic hard-righters in the media are -- and as long as they believe that, they shall continue to make fools of themselves.
Barnes had to concede that the "small" issues may be important in '04 -- but, my God, there's a war on terror on! Ceci said that Joe Lieberman and John Kerry are being selectively critical.
Tony took a last swipe at Al, making fun of Gore's new theme song: "Y'Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet".
Well, Tony, it beats the two we'd pick for Smirk: Soul Asylum's "ship of Fools" and Bob Dylan's "Rainy Day Women #12 & 35" (better known under its unofficial title, "Ev'rybody Must Get Stoned").
-- J.J. Balzer
Feed the Press
Condi does Smirk's dirty work, feeding eager Timmy the latest West Wing spin
Tim Russert's first guest was National Security Luddite Condolleeza Rice. Question one: what happened at the Powell-Arafat meeting? Rice characterized it as "businesslike" but did admit there was follow-up on the "very positive" Arafat denunciation of terrorism; ideas about more specific follow-ups were discussed; Zinni will meet with Arafat tomorrow. Did Powell secure a cease-fire? Surprisingly, Condi would not say no (a hint that something may be in the offing); she characterized the current situation as complex. Tim said that Arafat said he cannot move without an Israeli withdrawal, giving Condi a chance to say the meetings are about what each player has to do now and they must concentrate on the immediate next moves.
Naturally, Tim the Catholic obsessed on "the place where Christ was born," the now-occupied Church of the Nativity; Condi said that there is a need to resolve the occupation. Condi also said that international agencies should get involved, and that with regard to Jenin, "transparency" as to what occurred will be welcome (translation: Sharon had better cook up a damn good excuse for whatever has happened there, and quick).
How's Mr. Arafat's physical state (translation: does he look like death warmed over yet)? Condi said he appeared to be in good shape and is operating with his team. For some reason, Tim acted very concerned with Arafat's health; what has he heard that the press isn't discussing? Tim then asked (assuming, apparently, that Arafat's going to buy the farm) about what happens if Arafat becomes a martyr; Condi expostulated on the need for a secure Israel as part of the establishment of a Palestinian state, and Arafat has to use what authority he has (in other words, she;s implying he's being undermined from within and without, despite his huge popularity in the Arab world). Condi said she had talked with Smirk, and it's time for all parties to act responsibly; he "will call all parties to account." Would he consider bringing in other Arab states and European nations to resolve the problem? Condi said he'd be open to the idea, then acted as if Smirk were a real leader when she said he'd laid out the requirements for moving forward.
Funny, Condi, but Arafat and Sharon don't seem to be heeling.
Condi made a point to praise Saudi Prince Abdullah for his bold proposal for peace, but kept pushing her point: all parties must work with the U.S. toward a cease-fire and do what has been asked of them (but how soon, Condi?).
Will Smirk send American forces to the region? Condi predictably said it's premature to say that, and with equal predictability deflected back to resolving the situation and getting parties to do what they need to do. Again, she praised Prince Abdullah. But, asked Tim, what of both parties saying only the U.S. and its troops can keep the peace? Condi deflected.
Tim then turned to the latest whine from hard-righters: talking to Arafat is a violation of the Smirk Doctrine of not dealing with terrorists. Hey, Tim: what about the growing number of Americans that feel Sharon's a terrorist also? And what about smirk's support for proto-fascists in South America who secured and maintain their regimes using institutionalized terrorism? Condi tried to spin Arafat as a non-terrorist, saying there are mechanisms Arafat can use to deal with the security situation.
Tim then whipped out a copy of a document signed by Arafat authorizing a payoff to the family of a suicide bombers, and evidence that terrorist groups are "loyal" to Arafat (well, that's what they claim, Tim). Condi mentioned the now-notorious cargo ship from Iran filled with arms for the Palestinian Authority that was intercepted by Israel a couple months ago. Condi said that the Oslo accords are alive. Will we cut off aid to the Palestinians? Condi wouldn't answer, calling it unproductive before launching into the steps Palestinian leaders can take now (translation: probably, if they don't heel).
Tim then flashed up Smirk's demand 11 days ago -- Israel must withdraw -- and his "I meant what I said." Tim: Israel is ignoring the Pretender! Horrors! Condi: this conflict has been going on for decades; our war on terrorism will take time, and so you have to expect Israel to move, but slowly. So the Israelis have not defied the President? Condi continued to essentially argue Israel's side of the argument -- but said they must "be cognizant" of the fact they cannot win this conflict by military means alone. Tim kept pushing the "Israel's defying us, dammit!' spin, asking if it's time to withhold aid to Israel. Condi said Israel's got to do what they need to for their security. Tim asked about "moral equivalency" -- a ploy to cast Palestinians as the bad guys, Israel as the good guys.
Yessir, Timmy, in BushWorld, everything is "with us" or "agin' us", and if you attempt to explain that the situation is complex, well, you're not playing "moral equivalency" and must lack hard-right virtues.
Tim then said that conservatives are slamming Smirk, calling him morally wobbly and Clintonian! Condi said "the STRENGTH of this president..."
Strength? We were too busy laughing to catch the rest of her answer. And Clintonian? "Clintonian" means eight years of peace and prosperity, sweetie. Bill Kristol and other conservative whiners need not worry about the comparison -- Smirk will never rise to Bill Clinton's level of excellence.
Condi found herself defending against the justified criticism of Smirk being both disengaged and wobbly. Oh, no, she kept insisting, he's engaged and asserting his authority, and supports Israel's self-defense, and understands that Israel's short-term military moves are a component of working toward peace, and so on and so forth. If her defensiveness weren't so pathetic and symptomatic of Bush Baby's overall weakness, it would be hilarious.
And Tim kept firing away, reading an op-ed concluding that the Chimp-in-Chief is "arrogant and ignorant." Has Tim turned on his favorite president ever? Or was he just returning to the "attack" behavior that characterized his conduct during Clinton's second term?
One thing was certain -- his lame "Clintonian" Clinton-bashing had morphed into a Bush bash, and in response Condi sounded angry and defensive as she whined that conditions changed, and lied OUTRIGHT when she claimed Team Shrubby had been working tirelessly from day one of his misadministration for Mideast peace and better ties with Arab states.
Okay, so that second point is true -- after all, it helps Bush Daddy and his business pals at Carlyle and Bechtel clean up!
Tim then said that there's criticism that Bush did not follow through on Clinton's efforts -- how about getting Mitchell or Clinton himself involved? Condi tried to dismiss the idea by saying that all sorts of nations in the region are involved.
Then Tim said that Venezuelan President Chavez is back in power. Condi went on a snippy anti-Chavez rant, saying he was working against the people of Venezuela.
That's outright horse-crap -- Chavez made the unforgivable sin of defying the International Monetary Fund, the World Bank, and Big Oil at a time when Iraq cut off supplies. The Venezuelan military just did the dirty work of the IMF and Venezuelan "Chamber of Commerce", in effect trying to pull off a fascist coup. Well, it failed, the people prevailed (for once), and hearing Condi say that Chavez had damn well better listen to the people -- which he had been doing all along -- just underscored the fact that "Doctor" Rice is just another cheap-shot, US-first, screw-the-people, hard-right Hoover Institute talking head.
The second segment was nearly worthless. Tim's two obscure guests are actually "players" in the present mess -- Nasser Kidwa is Palestinian representative to the U.N. and Dore Gold is a senior adviser to Sharon -- but they spent most of the segment rearguing the same pap we've heard from each side in the Israel-Palestine mess for decades.
There were a few notable moments, though.
Tim obsessed early in the segment on "the Church of the Nativity, the birthplace of Christ" to mollify all the evangelical viewers out there. Kidwa wants investigation of war crimes against Palestinians; Gold complained that Palestinians used ambulances in terrorist operations. Tim insisted that Al Aq'sa Brigades pay allegiance to Yassir Arafat -- as he whipped out more "invoices of terrorism." Kidwa: "Payments for what?" He called it Israeli propaganda; Tim said Al Aq'sa pays allegiance to Arafat; Kidwa said Al Aq'sa is not part of Fatah and does NOT take orders from Arafat, and said there's a difference between suicide bombings and defending Palestinian camps and towns. Gold said you can't be occupied and have an authority at the same time (huh?).
Naturally, there was little in the way of insight, and nothing in the way of progress. We tuned out early.
-- J.J. Balzer
Later today: more pap!
J.J. Balzer is a former television news producer. He lives in New York City.
Art Layman is a media junkie and political activist.
Dash Riprock is a freelance smart-aleck based in Moline, IL. Reach out and bludgeon him about the head and shoulders at dashriprockapj@hotmail.com
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