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               | Found on the Web... July 15, 2002 -- This is just too funny. My buddy Stiggs found this today on one of his (and my) favorite political discussion boards, Capitol Grilling. The thread, now removed from the board (is it something someone said?) was titled "Lindh Pleads Guilty" -- but someone had to take a swipe at John Fund. Thanks to Looby for the cute graphic! [from] <Paul Gigolo> unregistered
July 15, 2002 -- NEW YORK [Fake News Network] -- In a surprise turn of events, Christian Taliban combatant John Walker Fund has reached a plea deal with prosecutors and has agreed to plead guilty to two charges related to his conduct in the War Between the Sexes. Manhattan Assistant District Attorney Miriam Ballbuster announced the agreement in a hastily arranged news conference on the steps of New York's overrated Manhattan Institute, where Fund is alleged to have hid in a bathroom before his arrest earlier in the year on war crimes charges. "Mr. Walker Fund has agreed to plead guilty to charges of causing an abortion and conspiracy to write hypocritical editorials," said Ballbuster. "Charges of harboring a rotating stable of girlfriends, breaking hearts, promoting infidelity, maintaining a filthy and unclean bachelor pad unbecoming of a conservative, possession of obscene amounts of Rogaine, stealing a live-in girlfriend's money, kidnapping a live-in girlfriend's Cuddles and Snoopy dolls, and fishing for trouser trout in Bill Clinton's pants without a license have been dropped." Walker Fund's lawyers couldn't be reached for comment because the press can't figure out who his actual lawyers are.   Copyright © 2002, 2001, 2000, 1999, 1998, 1997, 1996, American Politics Journal Publications, Inc. All rights reserved. Read our privacy policy. Contact us. ISSN No. 1523-1690 | |||
JOHN WALKER FUND PLEADS GUILTY to Two Charges of Crimes in War Between the Sexes