The Top Ten Reasons to Vote Republican This November
By Jackson Thoreau

Oct. 22, 2002 (Jackson/Thoreau/APJP)

No. 10: So schoolchildren can pledge allegiance everyday to "one nation under God and Enron."

No. 9: So super-wealthy Americans can afford to hire some more special guards to keep the increasing number of protesters and homeless population out of their sight when they venture into public places.

No. 8: So more far-right judges who stop our elections to tell us who really won can be appointed to the Supreme Court.

No. 7: So HMOs can replace your doctor with "customer service representatives," and so universities can teach courses on the proper way to say, "Do you want fries with that?"

No. 6: So Wall Street interns can learn the ropes by gambling with Social Security funds in the stock market.

No. 5: So Republicans can control all branches of our government and bring about a real dictatorship.

No. 4: So your children and grandchildren can view some "nice, clean oil wells," instead of the scenery, when they visit our national parks.

No. 3: So we can continue to blame everything that goes wrong on Clinton.

No. 2: So the poor and minorities can fight and die disproportionately in perpetual wars to make the world safe for democracy and keeping Republicans in office.

And the No. 1 reason to vote Republican in 2002:

So Ann Coulter can be appointed Secretary of Foreign Affairs and either put up or shut up!!!!!

NOTE: A more lengthy version of this list is at http://www.geocities.com/jacksonthor/essays.html.

Jackson Thoreau is co-author of We Will Not Get Over It: Restoring a Legitimate White House. The 110,000-word electronic book can be downloaded at http://www.geocities.com/jacksonthor/ebook.html or at http://www.legitgov.org/we_will_not_get_over_it.html. Thoreau can be emailed at jacksonthor@justice.com.