Who In Hell is Tammy Bruce?
Dec. 2, 2002 -- Washington, DC (APJP) -- Recently I've lately been peppered with mail pleading with me to look into one Tammy Bruce -- who I must admit I have spied a few times on FOX News, but knew little about.
I heard she "poses" as a liberal on various cable news shows, but blathers on more like a right-wing nut.
When a reader wrote me a couple weeks back asking, "Who in hell is Tammy Bruce, And when will she - please, please, PLEASE - pass through the digestive tract and sphincter of media detestation and into the septic tank of television history?", I popped the term "Tammy Bruce" into a Web search engine.
What I found amazed me.
She's written a book. She seems slightly schizophrenic about almost everything in life. She's not terribly good looking. She has people that hate her enough to create entire anti-Tammy-Bruce web sites -- complete with unflattering pictures of the pundit. She is a self-described lesbian, a past officer of the National Organization for Women, pro-choice, but voted for Reagan and was proud of it.
I also discovered that she lives in Los Angeles, which immediately made her suspect.
But the crowning achievement of my Google search was finding her columns on that lunatic Chris Ruddy's web site that is laughably called "NewsMax."
There is nothing newsy about NewsMax -- and certainly nothing Max about it either. It's a great source of half-truths, innuendo, crazed conspiracy theory, and pathological, obsessive Clinton-bashing.
Suffice it to say that when I saw Bruce's piece "Skippy Reads The News" -- a mean spirited and poorly written diatribe aimed at Aaron Brown of CNN -- on Ruddy's site, I knew why Steve Young had asked me examine her folds (pardon the pun).
I can't recommend that you read Ms. Bruce. Her command of the language is less than limited and her perspective is filled with ill-placed detestation. In two words, she's a malicious dog.
First, Ms. Bruce chose to attack CNN -- not for becoming a clone of FOX News Channel's all lies all the time format and content, but because CNN wasn't living up to FOX News Channel "standards."
After one stops laughing at this, one is carried forward -- much as a novice embalmer is attracted to a corpse -- to read further. In just her introductory paragraph of the "Skippy" piece, Ms. Bruce insults -- cruelly -- Ted Turner, Connie Chung and CNN anchor Aaron Brown (renaming him "Howdy"), claiming that the trio she mentioned have caused "a catastrophe so vile that Christiane Amanpour would not cover it."
Ms. Bruce never makes it clear what the "catastrophe" is -- but then again, her style, which lacks even a scintilla of aptitude, would not leave much room for this.
Bruce claims that when she "wants" news she watches FOX News Channel and especially Greta van Susteren -- another FOX clone who cut her teeth (pardon the pun) on O.J. Simpson's murder trial and most recently underwent painful cosmetic surgery which should have moved her to a courtroom as a plaintiff against her plastic surgeon.
I preferred the old Greta -- tough-jawed as she was -- although I must admit I would not go to FOX News Channel or Greta if I "wanted" news. Greta, as I write, is interviewing Lynne Cheney, a woman I consider -- with great reason -- to be one of the most dishonest people who has ever claimed to serve this country, but instead served herself. Greta feeds one Larry-King-softball question after another to Cheney.
But this appeals to Bruce -- and as "hard news."
Bruce opines that Fox "beats" CNN in rating wars because they deliver "fair and balanced news." One wonders whether Tammy has her head up her proverbial behind. Where does she hang out? The Green room at "The Factor?" Only a naive high school student would mention Roger Ailes' sham news programming in the same sentence with a criticism of CNN's "inspired leftist tripe fashioned as objective news gathering."
It's enough to make one vomit -- through uncontrollable laughter.
Bruce goes on to lie once more claiming the "we" are tired of being taken advantage of and frankly lied to (allegedly by CNN) and implies that FOX is beating CNN in ratings because it is "better" than CNN.
In what way?
Bruce seems not to know that FOX News Channel has few "reporters" and almost no newsgathering capability. It does not need them because Fox is a 24-hour-a-day, 7-day-a-week ultra-right wing "operation" launched by Neonazi Roger Ailes, a former nobody in the Reagan Administration and the Frankenstein who created blonde blowhard and former liberal turned fascist Chris Matthews. FOX does not gather news -- it copies it from wire services, misrepresents it, and then broadcasts it as propaganda -- usually in support (and in awe) of George W. Bush, in defense of the Republican National Committee, or as a cover for the filthiest of American corporations -- NewsCorp, its parent, being one of them.
What was Ms. Bruce's evidence about Aaron Brown that made it "crystal clear" that Fox is better than CNN?
Get ready to guffaw.
It was because Aaron Brown -- who Bruce calls "the dreaded Clueless-But-Sanctimonious-Anchorman" -- did not know the NAME of the Beltway Sniper for TWO WHOLE MINUTES after FOX News Channel announced it!
Of course! That makes SUCH sense! How stupid could I be? It is impressive, is it not? FOX reported something unimportant two minutes BEFORE CNN! That's an Emmy if I ever saw one.
My guess, of course, is that CNN has what the industry calls "fact checkers." FOX, of course, does not need fact-checkers to protect its viewers from erroneous news reports -- it produces false news reports as a matter of course.
Thus it wasn't unusual that CNN waited for 120 seconds to announce two names that mean nothing. After all, FOX called Al Gore the winner in Florida before it learned that the Bush family had some skanky helter-skelter in mind for the "Scum Shines" state and, later, the United States Supreme Court. FOX does not deal in facts -- it deals in half-truths and slant.
Roger Ailes -- the chief culprit at FOX -- has already been called on the carpet by the United States Congress for this type of ersatz news "reporting."
Ms. Bruce tries. She even used the tired old trick of alliteration when she described -- over dramatically of course -- how Rita Cosby broke into Greta van Susteren's show "breathless" with the names of capital M Muslim, capital M Miscreant John Muhammad and his "Jamaican" accomplice Lee Malvo.
What is funny about Ms. Bruce's commentary here is that she claims "we" the nation were waiting with baited breath to find out the names of these two murderers.
"We" weren't. I really don't see what the two psychos' actual names had to do with anything.
What "we" were waiting for was to know the police got their men and that we were safe to go to the Social Safeway in Georgetown without getting shot. The "names" of the two had little or no news value at all save for their family, friends and acquaintances who were hurt by the news. No one else cared, and if one launched a poll today perhaps 0.2% of the American public would be able to name one of them -- let alone both.
Bruce then naively suggests that CNN should be watching FOX News Channel. She is so patently ill-informed that she does not know that CNN always watches FOX, CNBC, MSNBC, ABC, NBC, CBS, BBC World, Al Jazeera, Reuters, Associate Press -- and all their wires, all the time.
By the way, Ms. Bruce -- FOX watches CNN. That's just standard best practice stuff. Are you a moron, or a paid hateful little nobody who picks up a paycheck from the likes of Richard Mellon Scaife or his toadies?
For some reason Ms. Bruce wants us to know that Aaron Brown's high school nickname was "Skippy," claiming the name "reeks of nothingness." That's a strange thing for a "nobody" to say, especially a lesbian nobody who should know the repulsiveness of hate-filled name-calling all too well.
Ms. Bruce also conveniently forgets the demographics that FOX News Channel relies upon for its high ratings: the masses of do-nothing Americans that populate the rust, corn, and porn belts of America, the dumbest of the dumb Americans who spend time sullying their double-wides and drinking 2.6 cases of cheap beer each week before and after beating up their wives and kids. Roger Ailes -- a master of Hitler's Big Lie Theory -- knows who to suck up to, John Locke's Masses of Asses.
I imagine that Ms. Bruce will also appeal to the holier-than-thou televangelist clique -- until, of course, they find out she's a lesbian and is proud of it. Then they'll probably be calling for her lynching.
Even more embarrassing is Bruce's own stupidity. She tells us that Rita Cosby broke the "news" regarding the sniper's names to van Susteren -- but then goes on to say that Greta van Susteren "stunned" the TV world (the TV "world"?) by "rocketing" to number one in a time slot that competes with nothing -- including Aaron Brown on CNN. She quotes -- of all co-morons -- Matt Drudge (is he still alive?), conveniently forgetting not only that FOX fired Drudge for being an incredible ass but that Drudge is also one of the most untrustworthy pseudo-writers in America.
Bruce goes on to call Aaron Brown "Ted Baxter on valium", which she does not capitalize as a brand name nor "r" as a registered trademark -- something Roche Products, Inc. could sue her over.
She calls Brown's demeanor "golly-gee" -- but forgets to mention that she poses as a spokesperson for Democrats when in fact she's a card carrying shill for hate peddlers with neither liberal bona fides nor progressive credentials nor Democrat documentation either. Ms. Bruce is either a petty streetwalker for the right or a junior high school malefactor with absolutely no grip on reality. In some circles she might be described as a sociopath.
Bruce is so inconsequential in fact that she picks on CNN for asking what Brown's Jamaican citizenship had to do with his murderous criminality -- especially when that criminality has not yet been established. Remember, even though the evidence presented to us suggests strongly that Malvo and Muhammad are guilty, we still live in a land of laws... or do we? Has Ms. Bruce heard of innocent until proven guilty? Perhaps not -- especially since she supports van Susteren.
Bruce claims that "everyone" else "gets" why it's important that Malvo comes from Jamaica. Gee, I don't get it -- and I've had eight years of postgraduate education and have spent 30 years in Washington, New York and Los Angeles.
Let me guess... is it because he's black? Is it because Jamaicans enjoy their Ganja? Is it because Jamaica is the spawning ground for Al Qaeda members? Stupid people? Angry people? Suspicious, angry black people with accents? From a sniper proving ground?
What is it, Ms. Bruce? I just can't guess.
Oh, I do get it! It's because we Americans are small-minded and bigoted!
Bruce doesn't waste a moment conveying her narrow-mindedness and hatred for Muslims. She claims that Aaron Brown "exposed himself" as a "man" (I find the choice of the word "man" interesting because of her sexual persuasion) that wanted to save "us" from our racist, Muslim-hating selves."
Yet she does not go on to say that she is not a racist Muslim-hating cretin herself. Instead, she says "Yes, we learned once again, that a Muslim had probably murdered another bunch of people, with his illegal alien buddy."
Bruce piles one idiocy upon another writing that she has a right to "think critically" -- but obviously having no idea what this means. She tells us that Roger Ailes would encourage "us" to decide for ourselves!
When I read that, I laughed out loud. This woman is beyond far-fetched.
Bruce implies that the nation "would view the world realistically, leaving you [Aaron Brown] all alone in your pit of nonjudgmental, morally vacuous, faux serenity."
Well, here's a wake up call for you, Tammy:
You are irrelevant.
You couldn't write your way out of Bob Jones University English 101.
You are repugnant.
You are not easy to look at, either (just don't ask Greta for advice on a decent plastic surgeon).
You are a disgrace to women everywhere, an embarrassment to lesbians everywhere, and a humiliation to the National Organization of Women -- who unthinkingly elected you the president of their Los Angeles Chapter once upon a time.
Of course, your appearance on that scene marked the end of NOW's viability, did it not?
Talk about "Oops!"
It's you, Ms. Bruce, who are alone.
Most likely forever.
ISSN No. 1523-1690