American Politics Journal -- Pundit Pap

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Pundit Pap
for December 29, 2002
Crisis? What crisis! Powell's latest tour of duty
by the Pundit Pap Team

Dec. 29, 2002, 5:00PM -- NEW YORK (APJP) -- Usually, the Sunday political talk shows subject viewers to a wrap-up of the year's "big issues and events" on the last two weekends of the year. But with the buildup to Operation Desert Storm II: The Sequel® back to full tilt by midweek -- inspectors from the UN patrolling Iraq in search of weapons of mass destruction, recriminations, and War Secretary Don StrangeFeld's "We can fight TWO wars at once, dammit!" declamation -- we had expected Iraq to be issue one on Wednesday.

Boy, were we wrong!

By Saturday, the press was frothing over developments in North Korea -- "Dear Leader" Kim ordered a reactor with plutonium-separation capabilities started up because, the North Koreans claimed (cue nervous laugh track), the US had stopped oil shipments and they needed to generate more electrical power (forget the fact that the reactor isn't designed to generate electricity).

To the horror of Ari Fleischer and Karl Rove, the press -- and Democrats -- were treating the news like the crisis it is (if only they'd made a little more of the fact that "president" Chimpy W. Happycrack was, as usual, disengaged and more intent on taking a two-week vacation).

Worse yet, China and our allies in Asia were pretty upset at the amount of saber-rattling emanating from the executive branch.

Result: the Doofus Administration unleashed Secretary of State Colin Powell on -- catch this -- five Sunday talk shows! His message: the US wants to resolve the North Korean nuclear proliferation issue (he assiduously avoided the word "crisis" even though it is clear from earlier Administration rumblings that this is a non-crisis crisis) with diplomacy, but not direct talk. The position was best summarized by a comment Powell made to Tim Russert on Meet the Press: "We cannot suddenly say, 'Gee we're so scared. Let's have a negotiation because we want to appease your misbehavior.' This kind of action cannot be rewarded. We are looking for ways to communicate with the North Koreans so some sense can prevail."

Well, that's a shift from the non-crisis crisis mode -- now they're seeking a non-talk talk with North Korea. Put your money on one of our envoys meeting one of their envoys in some third country by the end of January. And pay attention to what Joe Biden said on Meet the Press -- then ask yourself why Junior doesn't consider this a full-scale crisis.

Here's what we caught.

ABC This Weak
Bellicose Powell speaks...

Thank God for the non-crisis crisis. George Stephanopoulos skipped the usual padding at the top of This Weak and jumped right into it with Powell. Here's our "shorthand" version of the interview (with our inimitable commentary in parentheses).

Steph: What will we do?
Powell: The situation is extremely grave. (But not a crisis? that sounds pretty ominous Colin!). We're talking to our allies. North Korea is impoverished; they must come to their senses, restore the IAEA inspections and shut down plutonium processing.
Steph: Extremely grave! (And yet not a crisis! Well, look on the bright side -- Smirk is still on vacation, which means the grown-ups, or what passes for them in the Shrubbie Regime, are in charge.)
Powell: It's not a crisis! Diplomatic tools are appropriate at this point. And so is force.
Steph: So force is an option!
Powell: Well, we're not deploying troops. Here's the background: in 1994 they agreed not to make weapons-grade material, then they secretly started another program. We caught them and confronted them. North Korea has decided not to improve the lot of their people and stop the program -- so we cut off their oil.
Steph: So you and the Bunnypants Administration have no leverage!
Powell: Well, we have food aid. North Korea threw out UN inspectors. Chinese President Jiang Zemin strongly supports de-nuclearization of Korea. (We'd hear that comment a lot from Powell this Sunday.)
Steph: Will the Chinese cut off aid?
Powell: I can't speak for them. (But the fact he and Steph are bringing it up won't escape North Korean diplomats here in the US.) They have their ways of talking. (In other words, China may open up a can of whup-ass on Kim.)
Steph: You're not talking to the North Koreans.
Powell: Listen, you little twerp, I talked to them back in October. Get on the Rove script, dammit. I sent in a State Department guy in October. We can't negotiate -- and appease them for bad behavior! They're bad! They have to be good! (This spin point would also be repeated a number of times elsewhere on the weekend political shows.) We're not totally out of touch, we have channels through friends. North Korea violated their agreements and put the region at risk -- and must correct their behavior before the international community provides any more aid.
Steph: Kerry said the situation was avoidable through use of diplomacy.
Powell: He's running for office. I respect him, but the intelligence about the uranium program has been there during the Clinton years (right, Colin -- let's blame Clinton even though your national security advisor is a rank amateur) -- even though I have to credit them for defusing the original mess in 1994. Smirk had said we have no hostile intent, then all of this intelligence about uranium suddenly turned up! They ignored international obligations! (Meanwhile, it's beginning to sound like His Fraudulence and not the Big Dog dropped the ball -- big time.)
Steph: Does North Korea want a credible nuclear deterrent?
Powell: We think they have two weapons. If they start this plant up and reprocess that fuel into plutonium, they'll get another 5-6 weapons. That doesn't feed starving kids.
Steph: But that's a deterrent.
Powell: C'mon, Steph, we have no plans to attack. (In other words, they have no oil fields for Exxon-Mobil to plunder to rape and their top export is refugees.)
Steph: They said that plutonium was "red line not to cross."
Powell: We've abandoned that policy and are using diplomacy. The international community must come together! They keep saying we reach for the gun, and now we're not, and the international community is whining!
Steph: North Korea has a bigger chemical weapons program than Iraq!
Powell: We're using diplomacy. Iraq used WMDs against their own people and neighbors. They are intimidating the region. In North Korea we're using diplomacy. Some are calling it a crisis. It's not! Don't panic! All is well! It will play out in the weeks and months ahead. We're not mobilizing forces. They're not. Hey, Steph, now don'tcha think Junior was right to push missile defense?
Steph: Do you have evidence that Iraq is not complying with the UN resolutions?
Powell: They're bad. Bad. They've been cooperating with the inspectors. We're feeding UNSCOM certain intelligence. Smirk wants a peaceful solution, but if we find WMDs that have not been surrendered, we have the right to act.

Next up were Senators Carl Levin and John Kyl. Levin said he supports a diplomatic approach -- and he was gratified to hear Powell is taking that approach, and hopes it reflects a tendency to use diplomacy instead of the more frequent saber-rattling (a shame he didn't name the inept Rummy-Cheney-Wolfowitz Axis of Testosterone as the main rattlers). Levin added that this is a refreshing change from the Smirk-a-lateralist, go-it-alone and screw the rest of the world approach.

After John Kyl smacked down Steph for putting words in his mouth (and good for Kyl -- he may be a conservative, but Dems should follow his lead and smack around Little Judas for the tactic of bending politicians' words, which seems to be his favorite), he talked about the possibility of war on two fronts, but said that Team Snippy is now saying that diplomacy will rule the roost with regard to the North Korea crisis (as if this were cause for relief). Steph replied with the assertion that military force is off the table, and Kyl gave a rambling answer about China, Japan, Russia and the IAEA putting the screws to North Korea and, if they fail to cooperate, using the UN to apply sanctions and pressure.

Kyl also pointed out that North Korea uses illegal drugs as a means to get hard Western currency (interesting that we rarely hear a word about illegal drugs from the evangelical-moralist Smirk Cadre). Levin countered some of Powell's spin about Clinton, talking about his success in tamping down North Korea missile proliferation, and said it is time for the US to step up to the plate and talk directly to North Korea -- no appeasement, no concessions -- as opposed to Powell's "back channel" approach.

Good for you, Carl. We're none too pleased with this halfcocked "back channel" strategy -- but we're none too surprised, since it appeases the unilateralist hawk wing of the Bush Baby Circus.

Following a break, there was one of those long and usually boring taped "setup" pieces, but this one reported the story that seems to have been swept under the rug by most news organizations: states are out of money. Steph asked Governor-elect Mark Sanford (R-SC) how he will handle the shortfall of money. Sanford mentioned restructuring, consolidating health venues, raising the cigarette tax (shock! horror! a Republican raising taxes!), and a nickel increase in gas price to fix the transportation infrastructure. Sanford admitted it will be difficult -- a $1 billion shortfall on a $5 billion budget. Steph asked Governor-elect Janet Napolitano (D-AZ) if she wished she hadn't won -- and she replied that she demands a recount! Napolitano said that as a border state, they are absorbing huge expenses from illegal immigrants, Medicaid costs -- and the federal government (read: Smirk) has "not come through." Shutting down programs is no solution, and she is not asking for any handouts, but rather that the federal government pull their weight. Sanford said that as a member of Congress, he saw an appetite for programs in DC but no will to fund them.

So how did we get in this mess? Napolitano said state legislatures hastily passed tax cuts without considering long-term ramifications, and states are also at the mercy of sales taxes that themselves are at the mercy of the market and national economy. Sanford, in typical screw-the-little-guy fashion, blamed "spending" and "programs" -- and the "end of the bubble".

Huh? You mean the eight years of peace and prosperity under an elected Democratic President?

Napolitano fired back, saying that you have to pay for big state services.

And that's true.

The roundtable was actually worth watching because of the presence of author-comedian Al Franken, in only somewhat facetious and highly observant mode. Franken pick for the big story of the year was interesting -- that there was no terrorist attack on the US. He does not think that we are prepared for a second big attack, and that the Thief-in-Chief and his team are using it as a political issue. We are not, said Franken, serious enough about homeland security -- and asking people to be alert is just not enough. George Will, in typically smarmy fashion, said you can't help but improve on zero (in essence claiming falsely that Clinton didn't do a thing about homeland security). Michelle Martin thinks criminal terrorists are biding their time.

Steph turned the focus to the economy and the collapse of many companies -- and Smirk did not pay the price. Will rattled off a pile of statistics that supposedly show that things are not that bad -- ignoring the millions of people whose nest egg has taken a hit, or the tens of thousands whose pensions were erased. Martin said that the stats don't take into account the number of people in profound trouble. Franken pointed out that there has been NO job creation.

Steph then brought up Lott's demise as Senate GOP leader. Martin made it seem as all sort of people have been called to account -- CEOs, the clergy, and now Trent Lott, tied to racists, adding that many people feel that enough is enough, and it's time to call on national unity. (How thoughtful, Michelle -- so how about those who have never been called to account for stealing the 2000 election by you and your pals in the media?) Will said that the new generation doesn't care about the 1948 Dixiecrat platform, but also slammed the "brain-dead old line civil rights movement" (translation : anyone that stands in the way of restoring American apartheid, which seems to suit Mr. Will to a T). Franken said that nobody asked Thurmond what he thought of the mess -- and we now live in a nation where the number one rapper is white and the number one golfer is black! Franken essentially called Lott stupid and added the GOP will pay the price for their institutional acceptance and support of racism.

Predictions? Will wants to see Iran's mullahs overthrown. Martin wants an end to Israeli-Palestinian bloodshed. Franken facetiously said the War in Iraq "might be a big story" -- but then blasted Bush and Cheney for claiming that the Clinton armed forces were "decimated."

Go, Al! Before Will started his weekly blather, we grabbed a refill on the mochaccino.

FAUX Spin Sunday
Clinton-bashing Powell speaks!

Tony Snow, blessedly back from vacation, started the security-obsessed FAUX News Sunday with the North Korea debacle and Colin Powell, first asking if Ambassador Kelly was going to talk to North Korea. Powell said no, but there would be talk through third powers. Tony then shifted from the diplomatic mess to the more important bullet point on the Ailes agenda -- getting Powell to talk about what exactly is going on in that fuel reprocessing plant. This gave Powell the chance to talk about another program that North Korea started four years ago and that Team Smirk claims they only "found out" about a few months ago.

Interestingly, Tony also prompted Powell to talk about Russia's desire to run the Trans-Siberian Railroad through North Korea all the way to Seoul and the exchange of soccer teams> Tony abruptly shifted to promoting the notion that talking to North Korea and using direct diplomacy is some sort of "reward."

Has military action been taken off the table? No, said Powell, but the problem with taking out the facility would be the spread of radiation. As he had said on This Weak, Powell said that China wants Korea de-nuclearized. Does Powell expect a UN resolution dealing with North Korea and its nuclear program? Powell was noncommittal, but pointed to a possible move on Jan. 6, 2003 based on actions by the IAEA.

Tony then turned to the latest "get Saddam" rumor; that the missiles shipped from North Korea to Yemen were intended for Iraq. Powell downplayed the rumor without completely dismissing it.

Has Smirk decided to use force against Iraq? No, said Powell, but forces are being put into place. (Tony looked relieved -- FAUX News would be able to get its war on.)

Following the break, Tony welcomed Sen. Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), who said that North Korea is a belligerent nation with lots of missiles and artillery, and there is a rising tide of anti-US sentiment in South Korea, so it is time for us to step up to the plate and work to stabilize the region. Sen. Sam Brownback (none too bright-KS) talked about the wave of refugees fleeing a failed state, and said this ups the stakes by North Korea in an effort to get more aid from the West. Tony tried to compare a potential collapse of North Korea to that of the Soviet Union, and Feinstein said that North Korea, unlike the defunct Communist state, is profoundly isolated. So Kelly should talk to North Korea also? Absolutely. Brownback pointed to North Korea 's record of using bad behavior to extract aid from the West:"We cannot trust their word." He also feels that the refugee issue must be pursued.

Tony then turned to the claim by the "Raelians", a bizarre UFO cult, that they have cloned a human. Now, we pretty much tuned out from this debate, but this is just the sort of story that FAUX News spins like no other -- biased infotainment for a paranoid, superstitious public, news tailored and reported in a manner guaranteed to inflame evangelical Christians and social conservatives. And while the issue of legitimate medical research is worthy of debate, it's clear that Roger Ailes, grand high mullah of FAUX News, wants to have it both ways, tying legitimate research to the over-the-top conduct of an alien cult to sell it as "science gone too far."

Defeat the Press
Terror-baiting Powell speaks -- with help from Joe Biden!

Colin Powell was Tim Russert's first guest. Tim talked about those ominous fuel rods -- what will Smirk do? Powell again mentioned the agreement in 1994 in which North Korea agreed not to make plutonium -- and the "discovery" a "few months ago" that North Korea was secretly engaged in a new project to purify uranium. The US immediately started a multilateral effort to convince North Korea not to go forward -- and now North Korea is claiming that the cutoff of fuel prompted North Korea to start their other big reactor to supposedly provide electrical power when in fact it cannot provide much.

Tim: "They're up to no good."

Naturally, Powell expounded on this rather obvious talking point. Powell then did his song-and-dance about negotiations being appeasement and a "reward" -- and, naturally, Tim did not challenge him on it, rather allowing Powell to talk about the North Korea non-economy and failure to listen to the West.

Tim asked what would happen if North Korea reached out. Powell said that at that point, they would consider what to do. Powell also specified that China provides North Korea with 80% of their energy, and again said that China wants a non-nuclear Korean peninsula before bringing up North Korea 's fake claim of "making more energy." Powell again mentioned January 6, 2003 -- the day the IAEA may move through the UN to push for action.

Powell also talked about the North Korean army -- it is bigger than the South's army, but their nation and culture are in woeful straits (hmm... could he be hinting at the possibility that some factions may turn on Kim?).

Tim then replayed Clinton saying -- nine years ago -- that North Korea must not be allowed to build nuclear bombs. And Powell complimented Clinton on his handling of North Korea, acknowledging that they may have had bombs already. Powell then said that Smirky had authorized Powell to engage with North Korea at the end of July in Brunei just as intelligence "appeared" that North Korea had started a second nuke program about four years ago. (Gee, why didn't Powell mention that turn of events on the other Sunday shows? The timing does sound a tad suspicious.) Interestingly, Tim implied that Smirk and Co. knew this when Smirk declared North Korea a member of the "Axis of Evil." Are there plans to preemptively attack North Korea? Powell said we are not "planning" one or trying to "create a crisis atmosphere" (translation: plans were drawn up a long time ago and North Korea is creating the crisis atmosphere). What about the possibility that North Korea will threaten to export nuclear weapons? Powell said, "We'll see if this is brinkmanship", then blasted a needy North Korea (read: Kim) for nuclear brinkmanship when the world stands ready to provide substantial assistance. Tim then turned to the North Korea shipment of SCUD missiles to Yemen, and Tim raised the possibility of North Korea building and selling nukes.

Why not go after North Korea instead of Iraq? Powell scoffed, saying that the US is using diplomacy and not charging in and promoting a crisis atmosphere.

Tim said Saddam Hussein is in material breach of UN resolutions -- so when do we deal with him? Powell explained his case for material breach in his declaration, but said that he is waiting to see what Hans Blix and the IAEA report, and said the present situation will have to be dealt with eventually -- and our forces are being positioned. If we go in, what happens to the oil fields? Powell said they belong to the people of Iraq and there will be an effort to protect the fields so that they may generate profit in accordance with international law.

And after the break, Tim let Sen. Joe Biden (D-DE) explain his major worry concerning North Korea -- that they may sell a nuke to, say, Al Qaeda. Biden also blasted Team Smirk for making Saddam a bigger priority than North Korea. If, say, Al Qaeda gets a little plutonium, they have a weapon of horrific destruction. "I think this is a crisis." Should the US pursue negotiations? Biden said no, not now -- and unlike Iraq, we cannot go it alone, so we need to work with the new South Korean leader, Japan and especially China to put the screws to North Korea -- but give them a way out that won't reward them (in other words, a face-saving maneuver for Kim), but in which North Korea must give up something.

Sen. Richard Lugar (R-IN) agreed with Biden -- this is a bona fide crisis. There is time to deal with the situation through the UN -- and given the anti-American sentiments of South Korea's new president, we have to get to know him and start talking soon; if we succeed, there may well be negotiations through other powers in the region or even through the Food for Peace program. What about military action? Lugar called it the last option. Tim then said the North Korea army has a million soldiers, we have 37,000 US forces in South Korea, and a war would be very messy. Biden emphasized that any progress in resolving the crisis is dependent on getting on the same page with South Korea.

Tim asked Lugar about fighting two wars at once -- in Iraq and North Korea. Lugar said it could be done -- then, in a comment obviously meant to chide Don Rumsfeld, Lugar added that we should not be conveying this message in a bellicose way.

Yow! Rummy must be steaming!

And hats off to Dick Lugar -- the most consistently sane Republican to frequent the Sunday orgies of bloviation and ego.

-- JJ Balzer

JJ Balzer is a former television news producer. He lives in New York City.