First there was CLINTON
  Then there was GORE
    Next there was CLINTON
      Followed by HOLLYWOOD
        Then CLINTON again...
          and now,
          LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
          PLEASE WELCOME AMERICA'S NEWEST ENEMY...

THE ANTI-WAR PROTESTER!
by Steve Young

Feb. 25, 2003 -- LOS ANGELES (apj.us) -- I've been listening to a lot of talk radio lately and thanks to these brave spokesmen for right is right, I have now realized my worst fears.

It seems that all the while we've been endeavoring to keep our enemies from infiltrating our borders, I find, to my horror, that they're already here. And they're actually trolling our very streets. They call themselves Protestors -- and gosh begosh, they're trying to bring down America!

I've heard impartial correspondents who've been out on the street and interviewed these dastardly demons of dissent. Okay, I know that someone said he had interviewed forty of them, but there is absolutely no doubt that these guys hate the U.S. of A.

Even worse, they love Saddam Hussein. Their whole point is to give aid and comfort to the other enemy... the terrorists.

Just ask Bill Bennett!

Just who do they think they are, these warfare weenies marching down our streets, carrying signs, speaking in unequivocal disagreement with our leaders? Will these nuts stop at nothing to obliterate our freedoms?!

If they lived in most other countries they wouldn't even have the liberty to march. Here we just plain don't want them to march and if they do we'll rip 'em apart. See, in America we have the right to renounce those who are exercising their rights. That's what freedom is all about and these damned demonstrators should know better than to protest against the country that allows them to protest.

These anti-Americans are bad. BAD. I'm pretty sure if they had it in their power these characters would cut off our precious supply of duct tape. Bastards!

Steve Young, contributing editor at the WGA's Written By magazine, writes on talk radio at newsandopinion.com. He is author "Great Failures Of The Extremely Successful" (Tallfellow Press), in which he interviewed both Al Franken AND Michael Medved. He can be reached at theeothersteveyoung@juno.com.