Steve's* ESPN Rush News of the Day
*An extreme far-centrist foundation!
Limbaugh Shows His True (Lack of) Colors
by Steve Young

Oct. 1, 2003 -- LOS ANGELES (apj.us) -- When ESPN hired Rush Limbaugh to play football analyst on their NFL pre-game show Countdown,many people questioned their judgment.

But now there's no doubt the geniuses in Bridgeport, Connecticut knew exactly what they were doing.

And it took all of the season's first four weeks to confirm it.

ESPN said they hired Limbaugh to "... be the voice of the fan." And that fan is David Duke.

If you happened to be busy listening to Sean Hannity giving his weekly Major League Baseball best bets on his "Guaranteed Winners" segment or Bill O'Reilly's "Fantasy Soccer Draft" on FOX Sports this past Sunday you may have missed Rush waxing of his own personal kind of conservative values by attacking African-American Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb and "the media" that has overrated him because:

"... the media has been very desirous that a black quarterback do well. There's interest in black quarterbacks and coaches doing well."

That McNabb just wasn't "as good as everyone says he has been."

No matter that McNabb has hauled the Eagles' floundering offense around on his back for the past 5 years carrying them to the NFL championship game for the last two years.

Limbaugh's black-is-an-NFL-advantage take is becoming a regular part of Limbaugh's "fan's voice" weekly analysis. In Limbaugh's first regular season's game, Rush took on the NFL rule that requires teams with a head-coaching vacancy to interview at least one minority candidate. Limbaugh opined:

"With this rule, the NFL's made it official that hiring more black head coaches is imperative. It is important, folks, because 71% of the players are black in the NFL, but only three of 32 head coaches are black. But this rule, remember, says nothing about hiring anybody. I'm going to tell you -- this could be a setback for minority hiring. This is the opposite of what everybody wants."

How absolutely Martin Luther King Jr. of El Rushbo. He's doing football's only color commentary with color that has to use separate water fountains. No wonder ESPN bypassed Trent Lott for the spot: Trent just didn't grasp the "voice of the fan" the way Rush does, lighting a fire under the viewers and using that fire to light up the burning cross-bars.

At least he didn't blame the hiring rule on Hillary. He's betting it's the ACLU fault. He's holding Senator Clinton responsible for the Jets' loss to Dallas.

This is not to say that there aren't some out there who buy Limbaugh's point. I'm sure many of his listeners believe that having three black coaches is a problem.

"Why so many?" the dittoheads will ponder.

How soon before the Right's chief attack dog begins the "Take Back Doug William's Super Bowl MVP Award" movement?

They should have hired Rush to host "ESPN CLASSIC: The Nostalgic Pre-Jackie Robinson Years."

My guess is this is just the beginning. Rush is a fan of all sports. Don't be surprised if Rush starts pushing to get the women out of the WNBA. Damn dunkin' feminazis.

Thank God he's not covering Broadway. We'd lose all the Nathan Lanes.

I don't know what the ratings have been for Countdown since bringing on the man working with talent on loan from God, but you can bet that this conservative sports thing is gonna spread like wild fire.

How soon before... .

• American Spectator will be sporting a sports page?
• Matt Drudge will be scoring scoops on that stain soiling Paul Tagliabue's tie?
• The Ten Commandments will be painted in the end zones... God's end zones?
• The shotgun formation becomes a second amendment battle?
• Ann Coulter out-trash-talks Deion Sanders?
• Pat Robertson will be praying to have the Dallas Cowboys wear pantsuits?
• Tom DeLay tries to redistrict the Houston Texans?
• Jerry Falwell blames 9/11 on Liberal use of Gatorade?
• Richard Mellon Scaife will be funding the Cincinnati Project? Bengals got to be hiding something!

Damn. I wouldn't be surprised if they try to take drugs out of sports.

But still, if ESPN feels that Rush Limbaugh will deliver the fans, then that is their right and responsibility to the shareholders. Let's just hope the fans aren't wearing hoods.

By the way, don't forget to catch John Madden's report of the Iraqi war and the budget deficit on this week's Meet The Press.

Former California gubernatorial candidate Steve Young is an award-winning television writer, director/writer of "My Dinner With Ovitz"", and author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" (Tallfellow Press -- check out the web site at http://www.greatfailure.com). He writes a regular column for Jewish World Review".