Rejoice, anthropology fans! Time for another turgid installment of...
Cro-Magnon Mail!
Letters from readers in their pre-agricultural stage!

From: "D.Steadman"
Date: Oct. 17, 2003
Subject: Socialistic [sic] liberal idiots

Dear socialists,

You are dumbasses jealous of the conservtive [sic] majority. You're [sic] hatred and victimaization [sic] of Bill O'Riley [sic] and Rush make real americans [sic] puke. A liberal political party such as yours can only use lies and smears to victimize real role models. I wish cancer and Aids [sic] on you all.

A non-compasionate [sic] Conservative patriot and veteran

From: JJ Balzer
To: D. Steadman

Your hilarious hate mail had -- heck, it still has -- our staff and writers laughing out loud.

"Victimaization?" Get with the program, Mister Conservative Patriot: if you had any clue as to what the baronets of blather are saying on RNC State Broadca... excuse me, talk radio, you'd be well aware that Bill "Lying Liar" O'Reilly (and please, do note the proper spelling -- I guess we can rule out any chance you posess a Harvard degree) and "What a Rush!" Limbaugh are among the most vehement rhetorical opponents of the "culture of victimhood." Not to put too fine a point on it, but they'd be among the first to tell you that you do NOT speak on their behalf. Now what was that about someone being a "dumbass?"

And we're not a "political party" -- we're an e-zine.

By the way, if you're such a patriot, whaddya say about reupping and serving a military rotation in Iraq?

After all, a real red-blooded red-state Conservative patriot such as yourself could help accelerate all that "progress" the former Texas Governor tells us we're making in bringing Halliburt... excuse me, I meant to say Democracy to that war-ravaged land. It's the least a concerned and erudite (snicker) patriot such as yourself can do now that you've shown your true colors. After all, you wouldn't want us to think you are just a fair-weather patriot who only loves America when things are safe and secure now, would you?