Flush twice... it's a long way to Sally Quinn's place!

Pundit Pap
for Nov. 1, 2003
A Whole Lot Uglier
The mess in Iraq worsens drastically overnight as the Sunday shows revert to lapdog mode
By JJ Balzer
with Steve Young

Nov. 2, 2003 - - Shortly after we began downing our morning coffee, we tuned into CNN to witness the latest bad news from Iraq: a couple of surface-to-air missiles had downed a Chinook cargo helicopter with just over 30 American soldiers, some reportedly headed for some "rest and recreation" time. The initial report we saw on CNN said some thirteen soldiers were thought to be dead; by the time we went to press, the number had risen to fifteen.

No doubt presidential puppeteer Karl Röve and stealth president Dick Cheney had decided to dispatch War Secretary Donald Rumsfeld in anticipation of a threatened wave of "resistance" to coincide with the beginning of the Muslim Ramadan season. And for his part, Rummy did his best to trot out that old, reliable "pithy but lovable" act that the press seems to eat up and continues to allow him to pull off even in the wake of the emergence of a memo from "Grampa Donny" that asks the sort of questions that the entire nation should have asked prior to Smirk's Feud in Iraq. This morning, he had varying degrees of success in maintaining that charming "I'm in charge here, pally, and you're gonna love it" persona as he toured all of the major Sunday morning coffee-and-hangover shows (except CBS' Face the Nation).

Here is what we saw of the festivities.

Meet the Press

Since the local NBC affiliate was running coverage of the New York Marathon, MTP got broadcast at the inhumanly early hour of 8 AM, we'll have to wait until the LA affiliate runs it in the early afternoon to have a look. Our readers tell us that Rummy was not in the best of moods with a few tough questions from Tim-MEH Russert -- and that Zell Miller sounded like an utter hypocrite despite a slew of softballs from the rotund Bush apologist who holds court on the formerly great political interview show.

This Week
Players: host George "Steph" Stephanopoulos, Rumsfeld

Steph started with an update of news on the helicopter attack in Iraq -- with not many new details coming from the put-upon ABC correspondent beyond news that at least one other US serviceman was killed elsewhere overnight.

Steph then welcomed Rummy, who looked genuinely unhappy, sullen, sleep-deprived and saddened for the first time we can recall since his boss seized power, called it "clearly a tragic day" as he admitted that the Iraq situation has become worse before immediately changing the focus to those evil evildoers cutting off people's fingers (who, we would remind readers, have been removed from power to the regret of absolutely nobody save Saddam and the handful of his henchmen that our forces have failed to round up and bring to justice).

How many surface-to-air missiles are there in Iraq? "More than hundreds." Rummy again blamed Saddam for the shoot-down, saying that he hid weapons in hospitals and mosques along with other recycled pap (that is not relevant to the present mess other than to underline the failure of Rummy and the neocon wrecking crew to adequately plan for the containment and security of these conventional weapons in the run-up to the war). Rummy used those MIG fighters that Saddam (presumably) ordered buried in the sand as yet more "proof" that it must be Saddam hiding all this stuff.

Steph said that Gen. Sanchez is reporting two to three dozen attacks a day against Americans -- but Rummy disputed Steph, saying that the number includes attacks that were also being launched against other Iraqis that cooperate with the "coalition" (read: attacks on allies of the US). Rummy claimed that the Iraqi force went from zero at the time we took Baghdad to 100,000 a year from now. (Note that that number differed from figures others would bandy about this Sunday -- and Steph failed to follow through with a "Well, shouldn't this have been the case much, much sooner than now, and isn't your lousy planning the reason it took months to reconstitute an Iraqi security infrastructure?")

George Will, who in recent weeks has gone from being intolerably irritating to a mere nauseating reminder of persistent pro-conservative bias at ABC, said that one apparent goal of the attacks has been to dissuade Iraqis from cooperating with Americans, then asked if one of the remaining dozen or so Iraqis from the Administration's infamous "Deck of Cards -- collect 'em all!" was coordinating these attacks, perhaps Saddam himself. Rummy said he has no idea if Saddam is coordinating the attacks, citing "outside forces" (presumably the foreign fighters that some observers believe are not as huge a factor as the Misadministration claims) and Ba'athists as a problem).

In a double dose of softball questions, Will rose to the bait, asking for more details about "foreign terrorists," and Steph asked if foreign powers are "condoning" the attacks. Will also said that despite claims that we had made faster progress in Iraq than Germany in 1945 (that may be true, but let's not forget that data processing, transportation and communications were, well, just a bit slower some six decades ago), fascism was dead the day Hitler was found in his bunker (all in all, another meaningless answer unless your goal in life is to rattle of bullet points provided by the Project for the New American Century).

In a supreme demonstration of propaganda enabling, Will asked if there's a way to bring "terrorists" to a "killing ground that is favorable to us." (This gambit was so obvious even a third grader can figure it out: turn the parties attacking Americans and forces allied with Iraq Governing Authority into Al Qaeda clones. Remember, kids: this is a "war on terra!") Rummy talked about our successes on the battlefield and hyped "foreign terrorists" (ah, the dreaded "T" word -- we swear, the clowns in the White House love to wield the word "Tairist" like some sort of gory severed head pulled out of a burlap sack.) Rummy said it's better to kill them "there" than in Baltimore or Boise. (Well, either way, they're dead. And sure, Rummy was trying to imply a terrorist attack, but his clumsy choice of words failed to put the proper spin on that bullet point. It's surprising, really -- Rummy is usually more polished, but the giveaway was how tired he looked -- we get the feeling he was going on only a couple hours sleep if any.)

Steph said that very little is in fact known about who exactly is attacking us. Rummy grumbled about the difficulty of gathering information on these elements, and claimed more progress in the capture of "Ba'athists" and "foreign fighters" before claiming "success" in "recruiting Iraqis" for a national security force and joint Iraq-US "operations." Steph pressed Rummy on the number of US forces that will be needed in Iraq next year, and Rummy gave a vague answer about planning next year's deployment (Translation: beats the hell outta me).

Will compared the present Ramadan mess to the Vietnam war's Tet offensive -- and claimed that the goal of the Tet offensive was to shape American opinion! (Do you believe that? I always thought the goal of the Tet offensive was to turn the tide of the Vietnam war in an effort to ultimately drive Americans from South Vietnam.) Rummy talked about a war against terrorists, falling back on the promise to kill or capture then (which only served to remind us that Saddam is still nowhere to be found -- nor, for that matter, is Osama bin Forgotten). Rummy praised the "thoughtfulness" (read: the presumed gullibility) of the American people.

Will seemed to be going out of his way to allow Rummy a wide berth to respond to a slew of anti-war "talking points" he rattled off.

Following the break, Steph confronted Rummy with the ominous WaPo poll numbers showing that less than half of Americans support the war in Iraq -- and citing specific members of the public blasting the Administration's planning and even honesty. Rummy responded with the "we fixed the faltering infrastructure" spin point and claimed that there was "no humanitarian crisis" and no major refugee crisis. "Who could've known about the Saddam Fedayeen [sic]?" Rummy said the "Iraqi people" will take over their own sovereignty. Will said there's no Constitution, and went of on a rambling sleep-inducing lecture.

C'mon, ABC -- fire the windbag!

Steph then jumped on Rummy's comment that there is in effect no long-term planning to stop the next generation of terrorists. Rummy said that there has to be some attention to the problem, citing madrassas that radicalize young Muslims. Steph asked about a finding that would call for infiltrating madrassas -- and Rummy said that it is important to persuade families not to send their kids to radicalized madrassas. Rummy all but admitted it is a matter of money. (And on this broader point Rummy is correct -- but there has been up to this point no effort, let alone talk from Dear Leader and his handlers, to address the problem of radical religious nuttery that has not been contained).

Then followed a segment on a joint reporting project of ABC and Time magazine in Fallujah. David Wright said that the biggest problem is a 70% unemployment rate -- and with no international relief, reconstruction just cannot happen. Daniel McCarthy said that other cities do not have the problems of Fallujah -- Iraqis are opening their own businesses in the north of Iraq, including Internet cafes. Steph made a requisite "good news" comment about schools being open.

Yep -- Steph is still in the Administration's pocket.

-- JJ Balzer

Donald Rumsfeld was on This Week speaking of the 13 soldiers who had died:

"These things are necessary."

Not possible, not probable, but "necessary."

Mothers and father of our soldiers, take note. This is the man who is sending your boys and girls over to Iraq. Is your child going to be one of the "necessary" deaths?

George Will gave Rumsfeld a myriad of opportunities to positively spin the war and the recent US deaths. But the best Will attempt to spew out the spin of the month was his question to Rummy about whether we should welcome the terrorists coming into Iraq because terrorists killing our soldiers and Iraqi civilians (because we are there) in Iraq instead of on US soil is a good thing.

Rummy agreed that it was better that these killings were not happening somewhere in the Midwest US -- as if terrorists can't kill here AND there.

I wonder if the parents of the murdered soldiers are feeling chipper about not having to have their kids die closer to home?

Rumsfeld said on both Meet the Press and This Week that Iraq was complicit with the terrorist because they paid $25,000 to the families of suicide bombers.

Didn't the Saudis run telethons to do the same thing? Why didn't we bomb them?

On Meet the Press, Rumsfeld said he can't tell us how many of our troop will be there in a year because no one knows -- but he knows that in a year there will be 100,000 more Iraqi troops.

I guess he knows more about what happening with Iraqi troops than ours. Amazing!

-- Steve Young

Faux News Spin-day
Players: soon-to-be-ex-host Tony Snow (we think he's being groomed for Limbaugh's job), FAUX resident grumbler Brit Hume, and the ubiquitous Rummy

Tony kicked off the festivities with the grim news that "Terrorists celebrate Ramadan" by downing an American helicopter.

Terrorists? You betcha -- it must've been in his FOX News Morning Memo ®: "Make sure to label the folks who shot down that helicopter as terrorists. Remember: Saddam equals Osama. Remnants of his Republican Guard and Saddam Fedayeen seeking to perpetuate the war are equal to Jamaal Islamiyah, Al Qaeda and Islamic Jihad. KEEP THE SHEEP CONFUSED! -- Love, Roger""

Tony's first question to Rummy was about the "nature" of attacks against US forces in Iraq -- and could the attacks be characterized as "resolve" rather than "desperation"? Rummy made a big show of figuratively wringing his hands over this "awful day" and in effect blamed Ansar al-Islam and Ba'athists as he invoked those same images of cutting off thumbs and throwing people off buildings that he used on This Week.

But Tony fired back, arguing that the insurgents are in fact getting both popular support and help in many areas in Iraq. Rummy's answer about "liberation" and "Saddam's gone" rang hollow, and Tony prompted Rummy to talk about the real challenges now being faced in the so-called "Sunni triangle" -- but Tony tellingly gave Rummy a free ride to blame "terrorists," although he did seem to focus more on Ba'athists than he had on This Week.

Tony then brought up the perception that Rummy and the Pentagon and failed to plan for the period after major combat operations. Rummy gave a long, defensive, rambling non-answer -- even going so far as to insult one individual who had not gotten the job of running Iraq, trying to tie that person's criticism to sour grapes.

Tony also suggested that not only was Saddam in charge of the insurgents but there was a sort of "regional command." Rummy played along -- even if there is no solid evidence of this being the case.

(We would not be surprised if Saddam and his last few toadies taking retribution for his overthrow and the murder of his two homicidal sons. But, gee, that would undermine all that talk about "terrorists" now, wouldn't it? And it sure as heck doesn't do anything to help Rummy's repeated claim that the US has rounded up 42 of the top 55 leaders of the old Iraq look like a truly great achievement.)

Tony allowed Rummy to suggest that Iran is involved in destabilizing Iraq, but oddly, Rummy would not comment on Mustafa al-Sad, a radical Iraqi cleric who opposes a US presence in Iraq.

We changed channels at the half-time break to catch a little of...

Face the Nation
Players: the ever-cordial Bob Schieffer, Sen. Richard Lugar (R-IN), Sen. Joseph Biden (D-DE), presidential candidate Rep. Richard Gephardt (D-MO)

Bob Schieffer broke from the regular FTN format, turning to CBS correspondent Kerry Sanders in Iraq for up-to-date details about this morning's missile attack on that American Chinook helicopter near Fallujah, Iraq.

Schieffer asked Dick Lugar "how much longer this [can] go on." Lugar, who is a bit more critical of the Administration and moderate in his political views than almost every GOPer who makes the rounds of the Sunday shows save Sen. Chuck Hagel, seemed to be in the mood to give Shrubby McFlightsuit and his handlers a little help in the face of the Iraq mess this particular Sunday. He said that it is the worst day in six months but we must "stay the course." Lugar cited progress in a number of areas. Schieffer asked where the people behind the attacks could have gotten the "sophisticated" missiles used in the attack; Biden said he agreed with Schieffer's guess that they came from an unsecured ammo dump -- and pointed out that some ammo dumps are still unguarded. Biden blasted the "pall-mall" training of Iraqis (a direct reply, we think, to the White House spin point about "progress" toward a self-sufficient Iraqi police/defense force) and said that there needs to be an "urgent call for trainers from NATO countries" to build that Iraqi police and defense force.

Lugar said that "winning" means some things that have been done: schools, banks and power generation back up (but that should have been the case much sooner, Lugar -- and were you President, we're sure that would have been the case -- if, that is, you'd gone to war with Saddam rather than let Iran and the Saudis depose him through subversion) -- but admitted that the US must move swiftly on training Iraqis. Lugar also said that there are already some 50,000 of the 75,000 "quota" of Iraqi police (which makes us wonder if that is anywhere close to enough).

Biden thinks the bottom line is that more troops are needed -- and again said it's time to go to NATO. Lugar spent a lot of time praising the GOP's favorite "liberal" war hawk Tom Friedman, but Biden had the last word, saying yet again that more troops are needed.

Following the break, Schieffer welcomed Dick Gephardt. Was taking military action in Iraq the right thing to do? Yes, said Gephardt -- he had talked to many people, including top officials in the CIA, who had persuaded him that moving against Saddam was the right thing to do -- but there was not enough done to get international help.

Do you feel as if you were misled? No, said Gephardt, using the same the same "A bomb in a Ryder truck" fear mongering preferred by the Rummys and Condis squatting in the White House -- but Gephardt again criticized Little George for not getting help from Germany, France and other countries. He added that leaders sit down, talk, and (emphatically) show respect -- and Junior failed to do that.

What about calls to replace Rummy? "The buck stops" with Smirk, said Gephardt -- the president is ultimately responsible. Rummy is not doing a good job, and neither is George the Lesser.

Amy Walker of the Cook Report gave Gephardt a wide berth to blast Smirk's failed economic policies and the migration of jobs overseas. Gephardt explained how his plans would put way more money into people's hands that Smirk's miniscule tax cuts to the middle class. Walker asked Gephardt about one major union moving toward supporting Howard Dean. Gephardt said that he'd been endorsed by twenty unions and he's "been proud to work for working families." Gephardt talked about how great his health care plan is, without providing any details. Schieffer suggested that the Dems are too confusing with to many candidates and Gephardt played right along. Gephardt predicted a win in Iowa.

Good luck, Dick -- Howard Dean's nipping at your heels, and a loss to him would be a great big hint that it's time to cue the fat lady!

-- JJ Balzer