Flush twice... it's a long way to Sally Quinn's place!

Pundit Pap
for May 23, 2004
Bush Presidency Jumps the Shark
by Jane Grice

May 23, 2004 (apj.us) -- With two-thirds of our writers out of town taking a well-deserved weekend off, it fell to yours truly to keep half an eye on the Sunday talk shows.

And what a long, strange Sunday it was.

Most conspicuous was the ubiquity of Ahmed Chalabi, suspect-in-chief of the Iraqi National Congress and the subject of raids against his home and office in Iraq three days ago. He showed up on ABC, NBC, FOX and CNN (since CBS' Face the Nation is on opposite Meat the Press, we opted for watching Russert's egregiousness). Chalabi was no doubt attempting a "Bill Ginsburg Blitz" (you remember Ginsburg -- the attorney for former Clinton groupie Monica Lewinsky, who managed to get booked on five Sunday shows on Feb. 1, 1998). Who can blame poor Ahmed? After all, he and his INC stand accused of spying for Iran, and he needs all the spin he can pitch right now.

Naturally, the Chalabi saturation will overshadow another ominous development for the Texas Cowboy Junta: staunch conservative political pundits are turning on the callow Bush Boy. This week, George Will's comments about the Bush-Cheney wrecking crew was laced with particularly emphatic contempt and frustration. They've lost Will big time.

And he's not the only one, as you will find out.

But who, really, should be surprised? In the last week, the Abu Ghraib prison torture scandal got a helluva lot worse as investigators and the press focused on even more disgusting photographs -- some of which did appear in the press despite attempts by the Bush Cadre and their allies in Congress to put the kibosh on them -- and allegations of murder.

Worse yet, reports that our "good friend" Ahmed Chalabi and his INC cohorts have been in effect turning the Neocon wing of the Department of Defense into dupes for the mullahs of Iran by getting the US to overthrow the reprehensible Saddam Hussein raise so many grave questions about the fundamental competence of Bush's handlers that it's impossible to determine where exactly to start.

Yesterday, news reports were peppered with news that the former Texas governor fell off his recreational vehicle while relaxing at his phony Crawford "ranch." Republicans bristled when John Kerry reportedly asked, "Did the training wheels fall off?"

Close, John. It looks more to us like George W. Bush jumped the shark.

Here's the lowdown on this Sunday's follies.



This Week
The Chalabi-thon begins
Players: George Stephanopoulos, Ahmed Chalabi, George Will, Stealth Republican presidential candidate Ralph Nader, washed-up Clinton hater Newt Gingrich, Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN), ABC reporter Linda Douglass

Chalabi began by claiming that "this charge [that Chalabi is up to his eyeballs in passing US military intelligence to Iran] is being put out by George Tenet" (a charge he world emphatically repeat at the top of each TV appearance this Sunday) and that he is ready (read: begging) to testify before Congress (a plea he repeated again and again on the four appearances we caught this Sunday). He categorically denied being a spy (right -- he probably left that detail to his underlings), then said that the US shared no classified information with him -- it was the INC that provided information to the US (like that qualifies as plausible deniability -- Chalabi, early on, was failing both the smell and laugh tests).

On the matter of the US having cut ties with him and raided his home and office, Chalabi essentially accused the US of waging "a war of terror" -- and then had the gall to cite Abu Ghraib in a characteristically smarmy manner. With respect to charges that his intelligence was nonsense -- no WMDs, no greeting as liberators, as Steph put it -- Chalabi said the US were greeted as liberators and then bungled the occupation (can you say, "parsing words"). Steph said Chalabi had recommended dissolving the Iraqi Army, and that was a mistake; Chalabi made the ridiculous claim that there was "no army" in that resistance to the American invasion evaporated; furthermore, he asserted, de-Ba'athification was a "humane process" and had it not happened, "a lot of people would be killed." (Right -- but we say there would have been carnage and slaughter either way.)

Chalabi forecast failure by Loqutar Brahimi and the Iraqi Governing Council. (He would make the same forecast on the other network. Is he hinting that he's going to be a cause of that failure? Count on it.) He twice called for a "Camp David summit" on Iraq and for Bush to "take charge." (Yeah, right -- President Buck-stops-with-anyone-but-me-and-preferably-with-Clinton. Dream on, Ahmed.)

Does Ayatollah al-Sistani agree with you? Chalabi said he would not speak for al-Sistani, whom he called a "beloved religious leader" before saying that the "Iraqi people" will "not accept a government imposed on them."

(Well, golly, Ahmed -- that would include the one you and your robber baron, mullah-coddling accomplices dream of.)

Then -- Ralph Nader. Nader said he wants Kerry to champion opposition to the PATRIOT Act, push for workers -- especially on a living wage -- and support a transition away from reliance on petroleum. (In other words, Nader wants Kerry to run on Nader's platform. But note that Nader was not as demeaning toward or dismissive of Kerry as he was four years ago in the case of President-elect Al Gore.)

Nader did elaborate on what Kerry told him concerning an Iraq exit strategy, including an economic transition and turnover of security to international forces (indicating something pretty close to agreement). Nader predicted Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) will not accept the Veep slot, and called Evan Bayh a "hybrid" -- a "nice guy" but no liberal. (Interesting. We know that Nader's no fan of Evan -- but Nader's pulling his punches this week.) Nader needled Gore's "stiff" demeanor as a candidate and said Kerry needs to turn to the old Democratic tradition -- go directly to working Americans and say he will stand with them against the Republican Party. (We suspect that Kerry is not only planning on doing this, but told Nader as much.) Nader again blasted the unconstitutional PATRIOT Act, saying Kerry has to be more outspoken about it, and criticized Kerry for being too tied to traditional thinking about the Israel-Palestinian problem (albeit less testily than he had criticized Gore four years ago -- and hardly as nastily as he'd been lighting into Bush Junior).

Nader got testy when Steph ran part of a Democratic commercial featuring a man who had "voted for Nader" but as it turned out "helped Bush" in Florida. Tellingly, Nader aimed his reply not at the commercial but at Bush's extremism. He plugged his Web site votenader.org and made a good point about the 250,000 Florida Democrats who voted for Bush in 2000 before blasting a litany of issues on which Bush has been dead wrong.

Who will be the next president? Nader went on a tear about wanting to be included in the debates, blasting the control of the debate process by the so-called nonpartisan commission.

(We smell major wheeling and dealing between Nader and Kerry. Why is Nader going so easy on Kerry? First, they are in fact a lot closer on the issues than Gore was to Nader, and timing is everything. It's becoming clear that Nader will not be on the ballot in many states, even with the help of the Reform Party, and if Nader backs Kerry, it would be better were it to happen about five months down the road when it could make a difference in swing states.)

Next up: Sen. Evan Bayh (D-IN) and... Newt Gingrich (PNAC has-been)?

Memo to the bookers at ABC News: Gingrich is a disgraced wastrel, an ultra-right statist disguised as a proto-libertarian reformer. He is phonier than Katherine Harris' hair color. Why in the world are you wasting our time when there are better and far more relevant guests?

Steph asked for reactions to Chalabi's "unbowed" interview, and Gingrich not only defended him but said that Congress should simply invite him -- then blasted the US for raiding his home! "There's something totally wrong about this picture."

(You're damn right, Newt. Why in God's name are you whoring and shilling for a convicted con man, a war profiteer who fed our nation bad intelligence and looks to have been compromising the security of his own country by cozying up to the mullahs of Tehran? Something IS totally wrong -- and as a champion of this two-bit crook, YOU TOO should be investigated.)

Bayh said that he does "not particularly" want to hear from Chalabi and said he has little if any following among the Iraqi people. (Gingrich did not look happy at all at that comment from Bayh.) Linda Douglass said Joe Biden does want to hear from him -- about his "links" to Iran and failure to turn over material to the US.

George Will actually suggested -- indirectly, mind you -- that Americans might prefer a Democratic Congress. Gingrich, who looked a little miffed at Will's comment, praised John Negroponte (we're hardly surprised -- anyone who likes right wing death squads makes Gingrich feel all warm and fuzzy) and said he'd make a great ambassador (for suppressing "troublemakers" at the point of a gun and in the bowels of all the Abu Ghraibs in Iraq). Gingrich wants to see Iraqi elections sooner than rather than later, but fears that a "sovereign" Iraq will tell US forces to get out (gosh -- what a shock).

This was followed by a gaggle of mostly boring speculation about what happens next -- especially if the Iraqis ask us to pack up and move out. Gingrich simply cannot live with the very thought that they would ask us to do so (but then, this is the same chucklehead who thought crony capitalism and democratization would work in a culture where both are seen as unwelcome).

Things got far more interesting when George Will admitted that the GOP has lost the perception and mantle of the party of "competence."

(That was pundit TV's "jump the shark" moment for Bush. They've lost George. So, it would seem, have the hard right wing of the GOP in Congress.)

Gingrich demanded that the Abu Ghraib scandal be "seen in the context" of, say, a terrorist killing a mother and her family in Israel.

(Oh, we see -- if they are barbarians, then we too should be barbarians. It's perfectly OK. Maybe it's time a few Pundit Pap readers write a nice little note to This Week and tell the producers how they feel about a guest who is essentially pro-terrorist, anti-Geneva-Conventions, and objectively anti-American.)

Bayh, acting too much the milquetoast, would only go so far as to call the torture at Abu Ghraib"misconduct" (and missed a chance to jump down the throat of one of the most caustic, damaging politicians this nation has seen in the last century). Bayh did say that Kerry is planning to lay out a message that his policies will keep America strong -- he'll just do a better job. Bayh also scolded Nader for his present role and urged him to back Kerry.

The rest was a snore. We went to the kitchen for a coffee.



FAUX News Spin Nexus
Chris Wallace, on good behavior

We caught the first half of Rupert Murdoch's phony political discussion show where, to our surprise, their top story was the allegation that Gen. Ricardo Sanchez may have been present during prison abuse at Abu Ghraib. Chris's first two guests: Senators Hillary Clinton (D-NY) and Lindsey Graham (R-SC).

Chris asked Sen. Clinton about the June 30 deadline and her suggestion that it's about politics; Sen. Clinton said that we're locked in for better or worse, and the hope is that on July 1 there will be an entity that can rule Iraq. We are in trouble, and it all hinges on what happens on July 1.

Sen. Graham said that more troops are needed -- and were needed last year. Combat commanders told Rummy there were enough, so what could he do? Graham said we need more boots on the ground sooner rather than later, and Sen. Clinton agreed with him, adding that the US needs a larger active duty military. How many more? Sen. Clinton said that at this point, Abizaid has asked for more troops; some will come from Korea; "That's fine, but it's a little late" -- and she said she had heard a message from the top of the Pentagon not to ask for more troops. The ones that are there in Iraq are doing their best -- but more are needed.

Chris then read Nancy Pelosi's scathe of Bush and his gross incompetence. Sen. Graham said that it does no good in time of war -- but then admitted things are a mess (citing Abu Ghraib) and "both sides" (translation: Republicans) must "knock it down a notch." Chris then quoted Sen. Clinton ("A pattern and practice"... "incompetence"), all but chiding her for saying such a thing about a Commander-in-chief "in wartime" -- but Sen. Clinton said that questions now must be asked. She reminded Chris that she had voted to give Bush authority to wage war in Iraq, and he did not make good decisions. Chris tried to blast Pelosi for bearing the burden of dead American soldiers. Clinton's bottom line: the buck stops in the Oval Office, and both sides of the political fray have to reach out to address the threat of terrorists out to kill Americans.

Chris then recounted Sen. Graham's statement that the Abu Ghraib abuses shouldn't be hung on just privates and sergeants. Sen. Graham hypothesized that the sophisticated plan to interrogate Gitmo prisoners was sent to Abu Ghraib -- but was botched by inexperienced people at all levels. He said that the US has to show particularly to the Arab world that the rule of law applies. Sen. Clinton said she could not have said it better -- and praised Sen. Graham for his experience, ideas and service. Both extremes -- blaming the bottom and the top -- are wrong, and the actions of the entire chain of command have to be aired and justice must be done, because "that's what we are fighting for" (i.e. for justice and the rule of law). Sen. Graham said the vast majority of our servicemen are honorable people; the photos are out there, and he will not let the lower ranks bear the burden alone.

Sen. Graham then turned to a major issue for Guard and Reserve members -- lousy health coverage. Sen. Graham wants to give them the same coverage as the full-time. Chris, obviously under orders from Ailes to embarrass the Senator from New York (but not too much), mentioned that Graham had been a prosecutor at her husband's impeachment trial. Sen. Graham, to our great surprise, defused Chris's stink bomb by saying that they had lost! Sen. Clinton completely blew off the issue before putting in her support for giving Guard and Reserve members better health coverage.

(This did not appear to be a sort of ersatz "make nice for the camera" routine. Word in the Beltway is that Sens. Graham and Clinton buried the hatchet early in their Senate acquaintance. Moreover, he has reportedly had it with the Clinton-haters and enormously regretful that he cast their lot with them -- and with so many of them now disgraced, gone from the Beltway or leaving, he wants to establish not only a credible but genuine distance from the character-assassin wing of the GOP.)

Chris mentioned that Sen. Joe Biden "wants" Kerry to have McCain on the ticket -- can you accept a "pro-life" candidate on the ticket? Sen. Clinton said McCain has said no, but it's Kerry's call -- he needs someone who would help him win, and she'll support him. Chris: Even if the running mate is "pro-life?" Sen. Clinton reminded Chris that there are pro-life Democrats. Sen. Graham got the laugh of the week: "When you see me drafted by the NBA," then you can worry about McCain running with Kerry -- and that's a complement to McCain! This, he said, is an example of putting aside the petty -- and if I can work with Clinton to make things better off, we can get things done.

Chris tried to bring up those "vast right-wing conspiracy" comments of the past, along with Hillary agreeing with Kerry's comment about "liars" in league with the Bush campaign. Sen. Graham, much to his credit, said he wishes there are some things he had not said too.

Looks like one southern Senator has learned a thing or two about growing up in public -- and Chris went amazingly easy on Clinton. It looks to us like they're practically begging her to be a more regular guest on Fox News Sunday.

Translation: their ratings are hurting since Tony Snow left.



Meat the Press
"Iraq, Iraq, Iraq -- what do we do?"

Those were Tim's first words on today's edition of MTP. Tim's first guest was Chalabi, and Tim confronted Chalabi with the pictures of him with Laura and Bush Jr. -- in contrast to tomorrow's Newsweek cover, with the smashed photo of Chalabi. Chalabi denied the "charges put out by George Tenet and the CIA" and again BEGGED to appear before the US Congress. Here's the one-minute condensed transcript -- tell me that Chalabi doesn't looked panicked and desperate with nowhere to go but into history's compactor:

Russert: There are communications intercepts. Newsday says the DIA has learned that INC has been used by Iranian intelligence to pass on disinformation that was meant to help overthrow Saddam.
Chalabi: I'm ready to testify! Your sources are unnamed! CIA disinformation!
Russert: You've had much contact with the Iranian government.
Chalabi: Yes. We're allies of the US in Iraq, and I haven't seen classified documents.
Russert: NYTimes says you're relishing your role as a martyr. Christian Science Monitor says this is a charade so you can position yourself as independent of the White House.
Chalabi: My advice to John Negroponte -- covert operations won't work here, and we want to be a democracy! (Ha, ha, ha -- you heard the liar, John -- so do just the opposite!) The Brahimi-Bremer process will fail. I want a Camp David meeting too!
Russert: Won't it be seen as a puppet government of the US?
Chalabi: No.
Russert: Reuters reported that your INC has been paid $33 million, and the money has been cut off. What did taxpayers get for that money?
Chalabi: Gen. Meyers said our information saved American lives. Saved American lives!
Russert: So why were you taken off the Pentagon payroll?
Chalabi: We were not on their payroll. It was by mutual agreement. (Ha, ha -- yeah, right!)
Russert: Powell went to the UN, making the case against Saddam -- and last week he was here, expressing grave concerns about the reliability of intelligence coming from an agent code named "Curveball." Now one operative that turned up is thought to have been coached to provide false intelligence about mobile bioweapons labs.
Chalabi: Let me go to Congress!
Russert: David Kay says your history "is one as a con man, quite frankly" to get Saddam overthrown on phony intelligence. Others call you a fraud. How can they all be wrong?
Chalabi: This is baseless! Baseless! Our purpose was not to sniff out weapons of mass destruction! We were trying to help the suffering Iraqis! We did not drive the US to war! The US went in for their own security!
Russert: But you said the US would only need 30,000 troops, the US would be welcome as liberators, and Iraqis would show us where the WMDs are. Then you said that what was said before -- the intelligence -- was no longer important.
Chalabi: That reporter never asked that question, and I didn't say that! The liberation was successful! Few troops were needed to defeat Saddam. There was no resistance, they were greeted as liberators, but the occupation was a failure.
Russert: You said "Let my people go." 793 Americans gave their lives in Iraq.
Chalabi: We want arrangements for Iraq to control its finances and army. We're grateful! We want a strategic relationship with the US!
Russert: If they leave, what do they leave behind?
Chalabi: A free country.
Russert: What if it becomes a theocracy?
Chalabi: Won't happen. Stop with the hypotheticals.
Russert: Look next door at Iran.
Chalabi: We don't want that! We will give Iraqis freedom and citizenship regardless of faith.
Russert: Will you run for office?
Chalabi: No.

Tim was unrelenting. Chalabi was -- well, let's just say a hair less than credible. One can only wonder whether there's a bigger puddle of flop sweat under Chalabi or Rumsfeld this Sunday.

Tim then welcomed Rep. Duncan Hunter (R-way out right) and Dennis Kucinich (D-America's conscience). Tim asked Hunter about Bush's call to "stay the course," and Hunter tried to dismiss Chalabi as a "sideshow" before saying that a massive funding bill must be signed into law -- and the Senate, he implied, is paying too much attention to the prison scandal.

(For sure, Duncan -- God forbid a real, live scandal might hurt Rumsfeld and the Texas Dauphin!)

Hunter also suggested that Iraq may have been a direct threat to the US (snicker), and now must be a democracy (funny, but we don't hear many Iraqis outside of Chalabi saying that Iraqis want a Western-style democracy) -- but it is crucial that there be a hand-off on schedule.

Kucinich said talking about bringing troops home is progress -- Iraq is a quagmire."This is George Bush's war -- and he must be held accountable." Russert seemed dumbstruck. Kucinich said it's time to get the UN involved. So Hunter asked, "Where are all the countries pounding on the door begging to come in?"

(Well, duuh, Duncan -- nowhere, because we have a moron in the White House that other nations don't respect, a "leader" whop has alienated and isolated the US.)

Kucinich said it's time for a new direction -- and abandonment of "the failed policy of this administration." Kucinich wonders where the exit strategy is -- and look at what it's done to the nation: nearly 800 dead, nearly 5000 wounded, $200 billion that should have gone to job creation, health and education.

Hunter said he has a picture of a Kurdish woman and her family killed in a poison gas attack, and pointed out that Salvadorians are in Iraq and we weren't supposed to bring "freedom" to El Salvador (did we ever, Duncan? one thing's for sure -- we brought death squads) -- and we'll still be carrying the weight if the UN took over. Kucinich said that the whole case for war was phony -- no WMDs, no direct threat, and a president who refuses to take responsibility. Hunter: "That's very interesting" -- they found ONE round that supposedly "tested positive for weapons of mass destruction," i.e. sarin. It comes, he said, from a cache we don't know about.

Kucinich: So THAT's the whole case for war?
Hunter: Saddam had ANTHRAX!
Tim: The amount of WMDs claimed to have been in Iraq have not been found at the levels suggested. (Talk about your understatement.)
Hunter: This is not a game, those wily Iraqis must've evacuated everything. (Right, Hunter -- and tax cuts stimulate the economy, too.)

Duncan Hunter's performance was pretty amazing. We thought the dumbest man on Capitol Hill was Oklahoma Senator James Inhofe -- but we think Hunter could give the Shame of Oklahoma a real run for his money.

There was mostly boring back-and-forth for the rest of the segment.

And Meet the Press really hit bottom when two of DC's most overrated windbags, David Broder and William Safire, seemed to suggest that broadcast news outlets shouldn't cover the Democratic National Convention because Kerry might not immediately accept the party nomination in order to stay on an even playing field with Chimpus Maximus.

We were beginning to wish Mark Barrett were producer of MTP -- and Donald Trump the host: "Guys, that is some of the stupidest spin I've ever heard. The sponsors won't be happy, the viewers won't be happy, and it's just another move that would give Democrats grounds for accusing us of being biased against them. You've both really let me down here, and I have no choice. You're fired!"