Flush twice... it's a long way to Sally Quinn's place!

Pundit Pap
for July 18, 2004
All Too Quiet
By Jane Grice

July 18, 2004 -- NEW YORK -- Is it just me, or are the Sunday shows intentionally ignoring some pretty big, ugly stories -- you know, the ones that would guarantee Emperor Junior W. Caligula Bushius a one way ticket back to his phony-ass ranch next January?

For example, the Iraq qWagmire remains nasty, brutish, and long -- far too long -- with Americans getting killed practically every day and the coalition of the willing shrinking faster than Donald Rumsfeld's media visibility in the last month.

Toward the middle of the week, Sy Hersh reported having seen a videotape of Iraqi kids being sodomized in Abu Ghraib prison under American supervision.

On Thursday, Florida Congresswoman Corrine Brown accused the Republicans leading the debate on the House floor of participating in a "coup d'état" after Election Day 2000. The GOP-controlled House voted 219-189 to strike Rep. Brown's daring, condemnatory comments from the official congressional record. She was also forbidden to speak on the floor of the house for the rest of the day. Shows you how Republicans really feel about the First Amendment.

Conservatives bashed former ambassador Joseph Wilson, trying to use vaguely worded official findings from the 9/11 Commission to portray him as a liar over that forged Niger "yellowcake" document brouhaha -- but failed to see it get much traction outside of the FAUX News Channel. Naturally, they're ignoring the fact that blowing the cover of a CIA agent, as someone in the White House did, is a federal felony and possibly even a violation of the PATRIOT Act -- and a grand jury looking into the matter is widely thought to be on the verge of issuing indictments of a number of high-echelon White House staffers with the possibility that the Bush Boy and Dick F$#@ing Cheney could be named unindicted co-conspirators.

Dick Cheney's presence on the 2004 GOP presidential ticket continues to be the subject of rumors (which even we'll admit seem to be coming from the Democrats) -- especially following has-been New York Republican Alfonse "Pothole" D'Amato's call for Big Time Dick to step aside. (Hmmm, y'don't think Al wants the job, do ya? Fuhgedaboudit!)

ABC's This Week, which is (despite the incessant presence of George Will) becoming the most interesting of the Sunday shows, was preempted this week by coverage of a golf match in Scotland. So we caught some of the action on FOX and NBC, picking the two most telling segments of the weekend, a pundit feast dominated by the forthcoming report on intelligence "failures" by the 9/11 Commission -- and concerns that the findings could well prove devastating to the Dry Drunk Prince Regent and his band of merry petrobusiness thieves.

Here's the gist:

FAUX News Spin Day
Oh, no! Another John McLaughlin!

Chris Wallace, Roger Ailes's designated Sabbath butt-boy, opened FAUX News Sunday by claiming a coup of sorts: the first Sunday interview with acting CIA boss John McLaughlin.

Now that ought to add to the overall confusion of your average pundit show weekend -- a CIA Director sharing the same name with the Bishop of Bellow, the Cardinal of Conservative Convolution, the Pope of Pundit Pontification, "Group" therapist John McLaughlin!

McLaughlin was, as one would expect from the top spymaster, not terribly forthcoming in a number of areas, but he was pretty obviously out to boost confidence in the agency, which is under assault from the Bush Junta (and reportedly filled with agents, operatives, analysts and rank-and-file who would love to see Generalissimo El Bushbo packed up and sent back to his adoptive land of Texas).

At the outset, McLaughlin called for "modest changes", among them putting the Director Central Intelligence in charge of all American spying. McLaughlin hinted that the "recommendations" of the 9/11 panel would have to be weighed (in other words, he senses that they will want a Spying Czar -- but not the DCI).

Chris Wallace asked a loaded question about CIA Director confirmation hearings during a heated political campaign. (Translation: those unpatriotic Democrats are going to inject Bush Boy's failings into the hearings and ruin everything for Bush and his corporate handlers, damn them -- and FAUX News will be your best source for hatred of Kerry for personally doing this!) McLaughlin, to his great credit, betrayed a hint of exasperation with the silliness of the questions, talking instead about his goal as director to focus on the CIA doing its job effectively. "I'm not campaigning for the job, I'm doing the job." (Good line -- and good move differentiating himself from Bush and Cheney.)

Chris played footage of Bush making some ridiculous and since discredited claim about Iraq's WMD capability. "That information was flawed!" McLaughlin said that he'd admitted there were shortcomings, and the debate over going to war was more complex than the issue of intelligence -- and there were dissents over whether Saddam was reconstituting his nuke program, for example, and the no-fly zones were still in effect.

McLaughlin also stated that since October 2002 there has been an extensive review of the methodology of studying Iraq -- while also claiming that Saddam was in fact in violation of UN Resolution 1441. (And that's true -- but was it worth invading without a UN mandate? No way, JM.)

Chris also tried to use Bob Woodward's recent book -- and specifically the infamous George Tenet "Slam-dunk" moment as related by the ex-Watergate reporter -- to "prove" the CIA was pushing the case to go after Iraq. McLaughlin smilingly debunked Chris' silly assertion.

Chris also pressed McLaughlin for reasons that the CIA did not feel there was a relationship between Saddam and Osama. McLaughlin first ripped apart the foundation of much of FOX's reportage by essentially saying that the press is playing fast and loose with the meaning of the word "relationship." (You could practically envision Roger Ailes grasping for the blood pressure medication -- no doubt free samples from one or more FAUX advertisers -- as McLaughlin tore that meme to shreds.) Of course, said McLaughlin, there was some contact -- but McLaughlin said there was no alliance.

Chris said that Kerry wants to double the numbers of agents -- but years ago he'd wanted to cut the CIA's budget by billions. (Well, duuuh -- apples and oranges. There's a difference between cutting waste and cutting personnel.) McLaughlin said the point of more intel boots on the ground is to get better information -- in the mid-90s, they were "nearly in Chapter 11" in terms of agents, but now the agency is "graduating" large classes of new agents, but asking where they were in the '90s.

Chris raised the specter of attack as he stated that maritime, air, infrastructure and facilities are not well-protected. McLaughlin's "keep 'em spooked" reply: "we have confidence" that the evil evildoers are going to try something and "it's important to remember that [for Al Qaeda] attacks in America are the brass ring."

Where's Osama? McLaughlin would not talk, although Chris had to chime in with the claim that he's somewhere on the Afghanistan-Pakistan border. (Our guess: Bush Jr. has him tied up in the barn, ready to wheel out for a good ol' Tex-ass July Surprise.)

Do you take exception to the coming 9/11 report? McLaughlin said it has to be taken seriously, and that it will show the CIA in the forefront of the fight against Al Qaeda before and after 9/11. McLaughlin tried to depict relations between the FBI and the usurped White House as hunky-dory based on missions to disrupt Al Qaeda.

Chris, predictably, played the "Al Qaeda-Iran" card -- we're just surprised he didn't do it earlier, and that he didn't call for immediate invasion. McLaughlin said intelligence sees no direct link between Tehran and Al Qaeda.

Chris also tried to attack Amb. Wilson -- but McLaughlin demurred, refusing to comment on the report that Wilson had issued which debunked the Saddam-wants-yellowcake claim.

We skipped the rest of FAUX News Spin-day because it was time for another ponderous episode of...

Meat the Prez
Flipping Bush the Byrd

With the Senate about to issue their 9/11 report, where are all the A-listers? Sure, it's the silly season, but jeez, you'd think Tim-meh Russert's bookers could manage to do a little better.

At least the first guest offered some invective worth cheering about. Tim welcomed Sen. Robert Byrd, the current longest-serving Senator, to plug his scathing new book, "Losing America: Confronting a Reckless and Arrogant Presidency," that depicts Bush as a "dangerous leader."

Byrd to Tim on Junior: he "doesn't answer questions... doesn't build consensus. Tim, a world-class whore for the Bush White House, attacked the senator, saying this sends a bad message to our enemies. (You could practically hear Tim thinking "How... how... how DARE Byrd do that! He's even more treasonous than that Max Cleland!) Byrd said it's time to send the nation a wake-up call.

Tim quoted a portion of the book in which Byrd blasted Democrats who voted to authorize war with Iraq for caving in -- and tried to get Byrd to say Kerry was weak. Instead, Byrd said the Senate was "misled" -- by Bush and Rumsfeld. He also said it "took courage" to speak out against Bush, and many were "fearful" that they'd be painted as "unpatriotic." (Translation: Byrd doesn't give half a horse hockey puck about Tim or his spin. Good for you, Bob!) Byrd cited Rove's address to the Republican National Committee in 2002 during which he said that the war and the subject of homeland security were the issues to manipulate in order for Republicans to win elections in 2002. Byrd added that whenever he saw the Bush Boy on TV with a backdrop of men and women in uniform, he'd remember Rove's words.

Tim also quoted Byrd's skeptical (and, we'd add, 100% spot-on) assertion that fighting terrorists on the streets of Baghdad has nothing to do with fighting terrorists in America. Afghanistan, said Byrd, was the place to fight terrorists. Iraq was not. Tim said that if we leave, Iraq would be a terrorist haven. Byrd said it was now -- but it was not such a haven before we attacked Iraq -- and then attacked the foolish doctrine of preemption. Now, said Byrd, we need a plan to bring our men and women home with honor -- which is not easy, given that Bush insulted "old Europe" and the UN. (Translation: leave that to President Kerry.)

Tim read more from Byrd's critique: Byrd blasting Bush's contempt for the balance of powers and lack of respect for Congress and negotiation. Tim all but claimed that Bush is no different than other presidents in that regard -- but Byrd said it is far different: Bush's administration is a secretive cabal that has nothing but contempt for Congress and loathes Congressional oversight. Some of Nixon's worst are in this administration, said Byrd, naming Dick "Dick" Cheney and Don "Gramps" Rumsfeld -- and this administration is far worse than that of Tricky Dick. But, sputtered Tim in a desperate effort to malign Democrats, aren't Democrats responsible for gridlock? Byrd said Democrats are at fault for having "no backbone.... I was ashamed of the Senate for the first time in 45 years" for giving Bush Jr. the power to go to war. Byrd said that even the Gulf of Tonkin debacle had a sunset clause!

Can Kerry win West Virginia when he calls coal a dirty energy source? Byrd said yes -- and he urged Kerry to know the strength of America lies in the people as he held up his pocket edition of the Constitution -- then said that he wrote "this book" -- his new one -- to "save this book" -- the Constitution.

You can bet we're picking up a copy the minute we see it in the local book store. A few links for ordering: Powell's -- Borders -- Amazon.