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The Word "Terrorist" Finally Pulled from Dictionary
by Steve Young

Sept. 6, 2004 -- HOLLYWOOD (apj.us) -- In a move long anticipated by the editorial staffs at The New York Times and CNN, Merriam-Webster Inc. has announced that they will be pulling the word "terrorist" from the 2005 edition of their dictionaries.

"We've been debating the necessity of word's inclusion as part of the English language for quite some time," said Merriam-Webster historian Daniel Webster XI, "but when those Chechen hostage-taking rebel militant freedom-fighters slaughtered all those innocent children at that Russian school and neither major wire-service nor major newspaper chose to call the killers 'terrorists,' we realized that there was no way the word would ever be used."

"I mean, if you couldn’t call this um... act of revolution event, terrorist, when could you use it?" asked Webster.

Following on the footsteps of Webster's move, thesauruses across the English- and French-speaking word-world quickly took action, deleting multiple entries.

"With limited space, there were far more heavily-utilized terms such as 'suicide bombers', 'insurgents', and especially 'ideological disputers' that merited the room, space or area," added Peter Roget IV.

In a related story, Al Qaeda passionists disconnected the head of an MSNBC reporter.

Steve Young, political editor of National Lampoon and evil genius behind National Lampoon's MoveOnPlease.org, is also the author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" and "Winchell Mink...The Misadventure Begins" (Harper Collins), and writes about politics for AlbionMonitor.net and AmericanPolitics.com.