Flush twice... it's a long way to Sally Quinn's place!

Pundit Pap for Nov. 14, 2004
No News, No Balance
by JJ Balzer

Nov. 14, 2004 -- FORT LEE (apj.us) -- Jane Grice and I are going through all of hassles associated with moving into a new home, and most of our Pap writers needed the weekend off for other personal obligations.

And despite a house full of boxes ready to be packed on the Mayflower van this afternoon, I did manage to spend this Sunday morning sitting in front of the idiot box in my Fort Lee apartment from 9 AM, when ABC's This Week starts the parade of political blather, through noon, when the last demented shouts and bellows emanated from what the Pap Crew refers to "McLaugh-In" (a.k.a. "Romper Room").

If you're a real news junkie, you know that the two biggest stories are:

-- the growing number of debacles surrounding Election Day, and;
-- the growing civil war at the Central Intelligence Agency.

The former raises serious questions concerning whether anyone can trust American elections at all -- even elections in Afghanistan went more smoothly. Did the Sunday shows talk about it at all? If they did, it must have happened over on CBS, where Face the Nation has to go head-to-head with "Pumpkinhead" Tim Russert, the wrongwing-biased and implausibly influential Washington Bureau Capo for GE/NBC.

The latter is tearing apart an already battered intelligence community. Porter Goss, the shallow political hack that Commander Codpiece shoved down the Senate's throat not too long ago as his choice for CIA Director, is trashing the place with a politically-oriented "purge" (). Goss has let loose a political attack dog by the name of Patrick Murray who has no business anywhere near real intelligence professionals; as a result, a lot of the top players in the Agency -- including some of the most knowledgeable experts on criminal networks that hide behind religion and use terrorism to further their agenda -- are jumping ship (). Fear for the security of this country -- and fear all the more because the only show that went into any depth about this was CNN's Late Edition.

Instead, we were subject to endless rehashing of the controversy surrounding Alberto Gonzales, the Bush Boy's choice to take over for John "Jesus" Ashcroft as Attorney General. Gonzales, an apologist for torturing enemies of the US (which doesn't work, by the way), is no doubt being groomed for a seat on the Supreme Court, and with the Senate Democrats having made the absolutely boneheaded decision to make Nevada Senator Harry Reid their leader, we are fully expecting a display of pink tutus when hearing and voting time comes around.

There was also plenty of talk about the death terrorist-turned-billion-dollar-embezzler Yasser Arafat. Few are glad to see him gone -- and it's noteworthy that the handful of Palestinians we heard this Sunday, while saddened by the passing of their colleague, were not oozing with endless praise for Arafat, who remains a hero in the Palestinian streets. We predict a fast resumption of talks that may well lead to peace and Palestinian statehood -- but we also expect that the neighbors of Israel and Palestinian territory may play more of an engaged role than the Bush Regime will, and not by the Bush Regime's choice.

One big spin point that caught our ears was the endless whining on FAUX News Sunday of the disgusting serial killer of kittens, millionaire doctor Bill Frist, who also acts as Senate Majority Leader. His thong was all in a bunch about the "tyranny of the minority" (translation: Democrats are likely to make Alberto Gonzales look bad, and he wants to change Senate rules to prevent filibuster of the Bush Boy's judicial extremist appointees to the courts).

Memo to Bill: it is you and your moralist-corporatist supporters who are in the true "minority" in an America where the dry drunk son of Saddam's prime facilitator stole the White House in 2000 -- and whose "win" a couple weeks ago smells fishier than a case of Friskies' Salmon Treat Dinner. So please do the nation a favor and put a sock in your disingenuous whining about the "tyranny of the minority."

We also had to put up with fake Democrat Joe Lieberman on the same show -- claiming that the Democrats are seen as the "anti-war party" and "culturally permissive."

Anti-war? Puh-leeease -- most Democrats caved into the craven Bushling's feud with his mortal enemy Saddam Hussein. And "culturally permissive?" Take a look at the southern red states, where abortions are up and divorce is out of control -- whereas the "blue" state of Massachusetts seems to be America's shining beacon of stable, long marriage.

Democrats, however, should take note of Lieberman's point -- we have to recapture the moral high ground, and if it means that we have to point out that the "red states" are in fact not as moral as the "blue states," so be it. Sure, the Bush buttswabs won't listen, but frankly, they're not the ones we're talking to -- it is the swing voters, the great undecideds, that need to hear that the GOP is peddling hypocritical hooey.

Frankly, none of the Sunday shows is fulfilling their obligation to present issues honestly. In fact, the guest lists reveal an implausible bias toward Republican and conservative guests:

FOX NEWS SUNDAY

* Sen. Bill Frist (R-TN)
* Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman (D-CT) [no liberal by any means]

THIS WEEK

* Sen. John McCain (R-AZ)
* Sen. Charles E. Schumer (D-NY) [my God, a liberal!]
* Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA)
* Newt Gingrich (R-GA) [why -- WHY -- is this disgraced charlatan given any credibility?]
* Richard N. Haass, former policy planning director for the Department of State

MEET THE PRESS (NBC)

* British Prime Minister Tony Blair [note to Tim: you're not moderating the Westchester Kennel Club Dog Show -- please, NO poodles in the future!]
* James Carville and Mary Matalin [enough of these two phonies!]

FACE THE NATION (CBS)

* Sen. Lindsey O. Graham (R-SC)
* Rep. Jane Harman (D-CA)

LATE EDITION:

* Israeli Vice Prime Minister Ehud Olmert
* Chief Palestinian negotiator Saeb Erakat
* Lynne Cheney
* Sen. Richard G. Lugar (R-IN)
* Sen. Carl M. Levin (D-MI)
* Maj. Gen. (Ret.) James A. Marks
* Brig. Gen. (Ret.) David Grange

That's twice the GOPers or Conservatives for each Democrat or liberal. This nation is divided practically down the middle.

Later this week, I'll be going into more depth about what is wrong with the Sunday chat shows. Stay tuned -- and make sure to tune into 60 Minutes tonight as Michael Scheuer, author of "Imperial Hubris," drops an Osama-sized turd in Porter Goss's CIA punch bowl.