Judgment at Nuremberg II (Day 1)
Steve Young continues to file his reports from the 2008 trial

Steve Young

March 4, 2008 / NUREMBERG (apj.us)/ The residents of Nuremberg busy themselves with preparations for the expected crowds, giddy as schoolgirls awaiting their first meeting with the forty-five-year old trucker they hooked up with at MySpace.com

"We haven't seen this much tourism since Tracy sent Klemperer to the gallows," said Otto Bloch. "And just in case anyone wants to know… we had no idea what was going on. We just thought the trains were taking the Democrats to summer camp."

It seems like only yesterday that Bush's own image listening to the news of the potential disaster from Katrina had once and for all confirmed what had been denied by for years by the likes of coconspirators Hannity, Limbaugh and O'Reilly: disgraced former President George W. Bush was indeed a liar.

But it's almost been two years since the smoking gun revelations of videotapes documenting that criminal deception. No longer did pundits need to tippy-toe around the facts. The president had not been mistaken. Nor had he read it in the papers or been given the wrong information. He lied and despite his spokesperson's attempts to spin the lies into an innocent case of an inability to comprehend, ignorance -- despite a shipload of proof that he had plenty to spare -- does not excuse constitutional high crimes and misdemeanors.

Especially when there are tapes.

And now Nuremberg has fast become the place to be and be seen. Hotel rooms and reservations at Nuremberg restaurants are at a premium with Washington pundits and their toupees filling every possible nook and cranny of this German hamlet.

Though some have questioned the trial's site possibly sending the wrong message, officials say they had little choice.

"I want to make one thing perfectly clear," said presiding Judge Ruth Ginsberg. "This is not about parallels with the first Nuremberg trial. It's just that with a good show trial being needed as soon as possible, Nuremberg was the only location available.

"Normally we're booked years in advance," said Nuremberg banquet manager, Hans Pfeffle. "But at the last minute, the Shapiro bar mitzvah canceled and we were happy to have trial here. It's not like we want to throw away thirty tons of good chopped liver."

With the Bush administration's approval of the seaport deal with the United Arab Emirates, the outing of a CIA agent for political payback, cutting of veteran's benefits, tortured torture excuses, his mangled language, and a plethora of potentially illicit acts, the Iraq war remains the most serious of the claims against the president and his coterie. And the attempts by the entire Bush administration to vacate their posts en masse to "spend more time with their families" have not stopped the prosecutors from pursuing an indictment.

The large number of defendants complicit in the Bush campaign of transgressions against the Republic, have caused veteran war crime watchers to believe that nothing about this trial will be like any other.

Inasmuch as several Supreme Court justices will be doubling as coconspirators, the courtroom makeup is in itself unconventional. The bench and the defendant's cages have been placed adjacent to each other making it easier for the respective justices to move effortlessly from judge's chair to to defendant's.

Many of the defendants will be tried in absentia, as a good number of the Bush accessories are not available due to any number of "previous engagements" and circumstances spoken here in hushed tones due to the many "No Speaking Loudly" signs that fill the Nuremberg countryside.

President Bush, seemingly oblivious that his presidency had fallen, was last seen leaving the Crawford bunker holding his DVD of "Being There" to "cut down some brush" and never returned. While his body was not found and there are many conspiracists who still believe the Weekly World NewsMax headlines of the President being spotted riding his bicycle all over the world, most experts feel that Bush just evaporated under the insufferable heat of his own incompetence.

Vice President Cheney took his own life in the Crawford bunker. Actually, Cheney had meant to give the cyanide to someone else, but missed.

Condolleeza Rice, the female, African-American Secretary of State, those on the Reiht liked to point to as the symbol of Bush's minority hiring program, was stomped to death by hundreds of stampeding thousand dollar F-Me pumps she never had time to wear.

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, while still available to testify, has since been committed to Albert Speer's long vacated cell, muttering incomprehensible colloquialisms.

And while government officials are the focus of the prosecution, charges have also been filed against those colluding with, and spinning for, the Bush administration to place America in harm's way.

Next up at Nuremberg II: Hannity finds himself on the wrong side of the wrong side of history!

Steve Young is a Senior Fellow at the Extreme Far Centrist Foundation' Political Husbandry Conservation Centre and Stereo Repair. In his spare time, he is also an author, comedy writer, columnist, LA talk show host and author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful."(What? You STILL haven't bought it? Then visit http://www.greatfailure.com/). You can also check out the satirical side of Steve every Sunday in the LA Daily News.