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It's Time for Brainless Larry King to Hang Up His Suspenders
The "George and Laura" Show (or, "Do the Brown-nose!")
By Jeff Koopersmith
July 11, 2006 – GENEVA (apj.us) – I suppose some of you viewed the infamous hour of Larry King Live showcasing an interview with George W. and Laura Bush the other night.
It looked as if they were in a bunker filled with a movie set and a background LCD screen of traffic moving along that kept repeating itself. Did anyone else notice this?
What I enjoyed most was the way Laura sometimes looked at George W. as if he were a moron and tried not to laugh when he said something ill-advised or stupid.
The best moment, though, was Laura's own great lie: that the media does not publish polls on the President "when they're good."
Even George cringed at that one.
In fact, today Gallup (the polling whore for the White House) actually put out a press release that "Bush's numbers were up" – to a laughable 40%. It was the first message in my inbox this morning.
Anyone who has read my columns knows what I think of Gallup. They seem always to be… well, wrong. I especially loathe the way they've sold out to the media – and particularly despise Frank Newport, that moron who appears on television to explain why Gallup's polls always come to some insane result - or test some question no one cares about.
That aside, the most hilarious item today was Secretary of War Donald Rumsfeld's surprise trip to Taliban-torn Afghanistan.
This was one for the record books.
There was Rummy with "caped crusader" Hamed Karzai (soon to be the NOT president of Afghanistan), claiming that they have to stop the Taliban because “tourism is on the rise in Afghanistan” - I swear to you.
The truth is that Karzai is down to controlling about three square blocks around his house in Kabul. The Taliban, make no mistake, now rule Afghanistan once more – and, in yet another indication of how pathetic Runny's "grand strategy" against the "War on Terror"® has failed, every murdering Arab and Asian nut ball have assembled en masse once again in Afghanistan on the Pakistani border where they are building a DisneyWorld of Terror right under Rumsfeld's nose.
In our other illustrious nation-building venture, Sunnis and Shias are now pulling each other out of cars and slitting each other throats simply because of which sect of Islam the other belongs to. They are now include infants in the open slaughter. I don't mean once in a while – my friends in Baghdad tell me it's going on minute by minute and threatens to get worse (if that is possible), with open civil war only days or weeks away.
One wonders whether Rumsfeld is intentionally shifting attention away from Iraq to Afghanistan – and planning to carpet bomb entire mountain ranges concealing jihad-crazed murderers so they can be closer to Osama.
Of course, wasn't Rumsfeld one of those arguing for the use of "tactical" nuclear weapons?
Speaking of Pakistan: while our friend Pervez Musharraf is pecking, rightfully, at Karzai's inability to do anything right, he is laughing behind his sleeve at today's train bombings in Mumbai (that's "Bombay" for you older folks who think the Brits still run India). More religious fervor - this time killing a couple of hundred Hindus and maiming what is now reported to be nearly a thousand more.
Meanwhile, Pope Benny "Ratso" XVI is wandering around Spain hawking Christian family values.
Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Bush – and you too, Larry, you lecherous, wrinkled skirt-chaser: I applaud you for creating safer world for my grandson.
JEFF KOOPERSMITH is a political consultant, opinion research authority, policy analyst, and self-described "renegade lobbyist."
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