Jeff Koopersmith on Romney's latest slimy move.

The current Republican quiz for marriage is whether your intended spouse has a "natural" vagina or a “natural” penis - And you don't.

Yes. You cannot have a vagina and marry some with one, and you aren’t allowed to have two penises in the same bedroom blessed by the State. That’s the “Natural Law” according to the Grand Ole Party and shoddier, its candidate for the Presidency of the United States – Mitt Romney.

Talk about trespassing on American’s discretion – the GOP flavor-of-the-month pet peeve?

Let's face facts. After spending thirty years on Capitol Hill and at the White House hammering congress and whichever Administration was in power at the time to pay more attention to the environment and women’s health, I offer that I am reasonably familiar with the manner by which laws are made, and perverted, in our nation’s capital.

Regulations against any people loving and marrying each other are evil. The duty to pass such laws – the latest hobby of the neo-fascist “outreach” state by is unconstitutional. What would the founding homosexuals say about this! (And there were some.)

This year, 2012, is an election year and the do-nothing House of Representatives is controlled by far too many unqualified hoch-conservatives who believe they might never be re-elected without kowtowing to Americans batty who understand little or nothing about the Constitution, constitutional law, or just plain simple human decency. What they do understand is undermining the weakest and poorest of us with a plethora of fables and just plain lies.

This month the most extraordinarily ludicrous argument from the GOP raises its dreadful head once more just as it did in 1964 and 1991 with regard to Black American’s Civil Rights. The issue today? – The constitutionally guaranteed civil rights of gay men and women to marry each other.

Food for thought. Is it also illegal for gay men to marry gay women? After all – some Christians-fundamental would argue that the law does not include marriage without the “promise” of “naturally born” children.

One can only marvel at American Conservatives still hoping against hope that they can muster the nation to regress into the 16th Century, or perhaps to 100 B.C. as an alternative to granting what could be as many 50 million Americans the right they already have to love and marry each other legally as we "straight" people may even as we plan our second or third marriages or cheat on our spouses.

Make no mistake - Mr. Romney and the GOP are in a political suicide pact joining with their brethren members of the Tea Party and the Religious Right dominated by television evangelists more interested in building billion dollar empires than in God. Looks like Scott Rasmussen, a curious new pollster that seems to at all times, favor the ultra-right. Why would Rasmussen forgot to determine just how many gay voters there are in America. I must check with Roger Ailes, the Chief of Fox News on this.

Republicans and crazies use and abuse each other.

The Republican Party is bereft at having little or no proof of neither even a single well-known or widely respected leader nor a single rational idea about how to solve the nation's serious fiscal problems other than by crippling the poor and the elderly.

Senator Orrin Hatch, one of the GOP’s best hopes as a bridge builder, was finally minced out of his GOP U.S. Senate seat after thirty years of voting not-conservative-enough for ultra-right wing fanatics organized with mega money provided by the darker side of Corporate America who don’t pay a fair share of income taxes and want to keep it that way.

Today the paramount and supremely bogus reason Republicans offer us is to forbid men and women from wedding a member of the same sex is this mislabeled excuse, “Natural Law”.

The GOP/Romney litmus test is simply that men must marry vaginas and women must marry penises. Ridiculous on its face, the GOP's best argument is that gay marriage somehow violates “natural law” when they mean religious writings.

What is "natural law"? I went to law school and was never offered a natural law course. There are no natural attorneys nor are their natural judges, or natural court stenographers.

Yet Republicans are extremely busy attending church to pray for their campaigns and the money to fund them to invoke "natural law" as the obvious choice for all of us.

How do they define it? Some say it is surely a law of God and the Bible. Others say natural laws reflect the laws of "nature". Other's think that homosexual men and women are plaguing our core family values and defiling the idea of the nuclear. Nonetheless inserting an argument for natural law condemns the idea of marriage altogether.  

And whose family values do they speak of?

Likewise, which animals are barred from marrying? Which animals engage in homosexual play? (And they do) Why not allow us to eat each other? Animals - also the spawn of natural law - do so every day. And yet we eat animals, most of us.

Look. Natural Laws by definition are such laws that are determined by nature and therefore universal. It must be “natural” for some men and women to love the same sex, otherwise “nature” would not consent to it.

Laws banning gay men and women are not an issue in most of the rest of the world. They dwell on far more serious problems - problems we Americans tend to ignore but will confront shortly.

Republicans are truly not talking about Natural Law are they?

They are talking, unconstitutionally and illegally, about "scriptural law" even though the Bible, God, and The Son of God, have never denied marriage to homosexuals publicly or, I imagine, privately. Ask any religious fanatic to show you the words of God as they pertain to gay marriage and watch them stammer and squirm, or chuckle as they dig up the words of men or women who are not God, nor speak to God and get a reply.

The wretched item here is that Mitt Romney has been inveigled  by his own lust for power to adopt the "no fag, no dyke marriage" rule of the Tea Party and myriad other scam artists the likes of whom you can see in the middle of the night waxing ineloquent on cut-rate cable stations.

Even if there were no Gay Mormons, how can Mr. Romney, a leader of his faith, say, with a straightforward face, that the issue of gay rights is now the most important issue to underscore. Hang your head Mr. Romney, hang your head for you are not only emphasizing wicked denial of rights but also declining the support, friendship and help for members of your own congregations who are gay.

The rest of the world is snickering at us. Perhaps they should be weeping for us for sinking our intelligence and our once-laudable love for each other and those that suffer under unfair regimes and dictates around our earth.

You bet this issue is important. It was made important by right wing zealots. It only showcases, like a cheap carnival act, what can occur when trusted officials act for their own interests based in greed and insensitivity.

The men and women behind this chicanery know very well that gay marriage has nothing to do with, nor will destroy the “natural” marriages they would choose for themselves. They are quite simply perjurers attempting once again to drive a wedge between well intentioned Americans and to set them, one on the other in loathing.

The Republican Party, which I once supported with funds and labor, has become a disgrace.

I reproach it for its inane ideas today and urge you to do the same.