More Cro-Magnon Mail From the Republican Elite

Saturday, May 29, 1999

Kristopher & Tracy Godwin (tgodwin@fni.com) write:

DEAR MORON,

You sir are a childish little man who would not make a good size pimple on Ronnies [sic] ass. So to take it down to your level should we start to play the blame game and start to blame democrap [sic] presidents down back to the begining of time? You cannot defend your skirt chaser so you bash the greatest man to ever lead this country. Well it may be sad for you but the American people are waking up to the smoke and mirrors act. You and all your bunny humping grass sucking peace pipers, (who have KILLED more citizens and less military targets than ANY ANY ANY , [sic] "leader", of ALL TIME), WILL BE IN A SAD STATE IN 2000. May you choke on the dust of George W. Bush.

I just hope he has enough time in eight years to clean up after you greasy little weasels. So as you lay in bed tonight just think for first time FIRST time since Ron ended the cold war,  you now have nuclear warheads on rockets aimed at my country, and your boy billy sold them to the yellow bastards. So sleep tight, I know clinton [sic] will, on a bed of chinese [sic] cash.

Actually I a mature, very big man -- I weigh 220 stark naked.

One might well suppose, Tracy, that you have extensive knowledge about Ronnie's puss-encrusted buttocks from personal experience servicing him and his campaign.

We "Democraps," however, think people like you should be the focus of our attention -- and the nation's.

Therefore your letter, and this answer, will be published -- along with your email address, so that the 17 million or so readers that enjoy our "bashing" of "the greatest man to ever lead this country" can contact for themselves people with "high" IQs enjoyed by "good" Republicans such as yourselves.

Actually, we defend our "skirt chaser" quite well, don't you think? And it doesn't take smoke and mirrors.

By the way, "bunny humping grass sucking peace pipers" should have at least one comma and two hyphens.

We are sorry to have KILLED so many citizens -- but then what can we do? We are communist revolutionaries following in the steps of FDR, JFK, LBJ and Jimmy Carter!

We assume you mean "angel dust" when praying that we choke on BushBaby's "dust." Those of us here who partied with him in earlier years, must say he really knows how to light one mean crack pipe!

As we lay in bed last night, the following thought crossed our minds for the first time since Ron "ended" the Cold War -- by nearly bankrupting the world and taxing us into oblivion:

Hey! We still have nuclear "rockets" aimed at "your" country -- and our boy Billy sold them to "The Yellow Bastards." Woe is us!

As we were counting the Chinese Cash stuffed into our mattressess, we thought of you, Kris and Tracy -- and your pickup with the shotgun on the rear window, your crosses and cans of gasoline in the back of the truck next to those pre-tied nooses, your absolute ignorance and lack of education.

And we wept, not only for you, but for your children -- innocents that might be taught by deceitful little weasels like both of you, who represent such an infinitesimally small group of bigoted lunatics with fifth-grade educations so desperate to murder anyone who disagrees with what Rush Limbaugh and Chris Matthews tell you to believe.

As you both sit on on the dirt in front of your trailer, sipping beer through your filthy decayed teeth and farting out those TV dinners in front of Vanna White on "Wheel" and chatting about the good ole' days when the KKK could parade proudly down the streets, think about this:

You are dinosaurs clinging to the dream of becoming rich like the men you worship while you sit there in Jurassic Trailer Park.

But guess what?

It will never happen. Because those men -- you know, the ones who run the GOP? -- don't care about your lack of education, your paltry knowledge of what's real, or quality health care for you when you overdose.

They do care, however, that you have a low paying job so they don't have to pay for those beers.

Think about that tonight.

And, oh -- by the way -- It Was BushBaby's father that sold those missiles to the People's Republic of China.

But don't worry. The Cox Report found no evidence that China had a single warhead aimed at the USA -- "your" country.

Best Regards

Mac MacArthur

Thursday, April 22, 1999

Dear Sir,

I am a Vietnam Veteran and depend on the VA for medical care and drugs. I am concerned and confused as to the direction of care and the constant shrinking of the services available to myself and others that are in need, and were promised by our politicians.

I watched you on TV stating you are going to request $6 BILLION dollars in aid to Yugoslavia.

At the same time the Veterans Regional Hospital here in Salt Lake City, Utah, just announced a decrease of 32 nursing positions and the closing of more inpatient and outpatient clinics. 

The Veterans Hospital here was originally a 750 bed hospital. It is now shrunk to about 110 beds and needed services are being held up due to "budget constraints". This is for a medical system that our country is going to need if troops are to be used, and to meet the obligations to the men and women that fight for this country. Where is it going to come from?

Level funding a medical budget is unheard of in this country. I am very afraid that when I will really need the services there will be none. When I first went into the VA system in 1985 all medical services were available to Veterans who needed them. I can honestly say that the erosion of services is scary.

This is not what we as Veterans were told when entering military service. We were told the VA was a commitment for our injuries in war and we would always be taken care of. That Sir, is not a free ride!

Kath

January 4th, 1998 -- WASHINGTON (apj.us) -- Now that the nation is geared up for a trial of the President, our colleague Republicans are waiting with bated breath to find out how "Days of Our President's Lives" will play out before it's canceled for lack of an audience.

The Senate, led by Trent Lott, is clearly not up to impeaching this President, even though Bill Clinton admittedly lied to the nation and may have lied to a Federal Grand Jury. And why is that? Because the House, in its absolutely bumbling, fumbling and mumbling on this matter, has ruined our chances to erase the Clintons from political memory.

Bill and Hillary Clinton are to be admired for at least one thing -- their sheer chutzpah, as they say in New York City. They have braved everything we could throw at them and more. They have made idiots of our fine Judiciary Committee. They have destroyed our party in the 1998 congressional elections. And they may in the end deliver the White House to Al Gore in 2000.

Now, this isn't the usual column you might read in a Republican-controlled tabloid. But American Politics Journal is not controlled by either party. When the editors approached me in mid-December to write for the "Right" -- and correct -- side of the aisle, I made the deal with one codicil: I would not take a mean-spirited approach to the issues before the nation today.

I am a Republican. I'm proud of it, but not a Republican who is proud of the way its new leaders have handled themselves since Newt Gingrich took the helm. It's not that I do not respect Mr. Gingrich for his leadership qualified in the arena of party funding and organization. I do, and have, contributed often to that goal. But Mr. Gingrich resigned much too late for the good of our party, and most of us know that there is more to come concerning not only him but others that is sure to embarrass the Grand Old Party further. Mr. Gingrich and his cronies violated the 300-year-old rule: do not speak ill of the private sex lives of co-politicos. That marked the end (or, more accurately, the beginning of the end) for Republican domination of the legislative branch. Not that I defend this "rule amongst men" -- but it is nevertheless perhaps the oldest rule on earth, shared not only by men but also by women, priests, ministers, rabbis and corporate leaders.

Not paying attention to this simple rule was perhaps the single worst blunder our party has made in its history. Yes, we are more moral by casting the rule aside -- and also more stupid.

Rep. Hyde, who grew into a wise leader, was stopped dead in his tracks by his own admission of adultery. He should have stepped aside -- no matter how long and loud Mr. Gingrich begged him to stay. Rep. Robert Barr, for whom I have great personal fondness, was far too overzealous in his approach. Sen. Lott did not pay enough attention to what was going on in the House. Had he, he might have been able to pressure the upstarts to hold forth on a more bipartisan basis, one that would have resulted in at least the resignation of Bill Clinton.

But now, almost all is lost. The only chance we have now is for the Senate to recoup our losses by conducting a fair and open trial. If they do, then we as a party have a chance to recover our preeminent status. It is too late to convict the President -- no matter how guilty he may be. We must get this over, and use the next two years to re-build -- this time, without the help of the Christian Coalition.

As for the Young Turks who led our party into a kind of hell on earth, I say "be cautious." Many of you may have re-won your seats in 1998, but the year 2000 will mark the end of your political carrers should you continue to preach to America about morals and values. That's a private issue. Leave it alone -- stick to cutting taxes and bringing our government back to local control. Those are winning ideas.

You may be correct. America might decide, many say, to re-examine its moral agenda soon. In fact, it is doing that right now. However, to push voters to the pulpit is exactly the wrong way to go. How about leading them there instead?

As many of our best Republican leaders have said, "Be a leader, not a follower. In the end you will win."

Let's do our very best to get Clinton out of office ASAP. He is not morally fit to be our president. Enough has already been said, but he is untrustworthy, decitfull, and a disaster in foreign affairs (altough I realize this won't count in a trial). Don't be taken in by their delay tactics and stalls -- get him out of their now and make sure he takes Hillary with him. We will never be able to trust him again, nor will foreign leaders. This is a very serious situation.